Laughter is the Best Medicine

John Cooper Clarke – Hairdresser Joke

OK, this geezer, right, he goes to the hairdresser’s. You know hairdressers, barbers? They talk to you when they’re cutting your hair. – Right. The barber says, “You going anywhere for your holidays?” – He says, “Yeah, I’m going to Italy.” He says, “Don’t bother, cos me and the wife went last year.” He says, “What do you want to go to Italy for anyway?” – He says, “I like Italian food.” He says, “It’s all fish and chip shops.” – He says, “Well, I’m going for the sunshine.” He says, “It pissed down every day last time we were there.” – He says, “Well, look, I’ve got a penchant for Romanesque architecture.” He says, “You can’t see it.” He says, “Everywhere you look it’s surrounded by corrugated iron. They’re renovating the place or something. Romanesque architecture is out of the question.” – He says, “Look, the real reason why me and the wife wanna go to Italy is we wanna see the pope once before we die.” He says, “You’ll be lucky!” He says, “You’re stood there in St. Peter’s Square with 65 million of the faithful. You’re lucky if you see the top of his hat.” – He says, “Look, I’ve got the tickets now. I’ve gotta go. I can’t get out of it.” So he comes back from Italy, goes back to the barber’s, about a month later. The barber says, “Aren’t you the bloke that went to Italy?” – He says, “Yeah.” He says, “How’d it go down?” – He says, ” I had a great time.” He says, “The food was fantastic. Sunshine? Wonderful! The Romanesque architecture has to be seen to be believed.” He says, “What about the pope?” – He says, “Well, I’ll tell you about that. I was stood in St. Peter’s Square with 65 million other catholics. I could just make out the top of his hat when he points his bejewelled staff my way. The crowd parted to a man. He came down the stairs and he walked right up to me. And do you know what he said to me?” He says, “What?” – He says, “Who cut your fucking hair?” The New Order, who John has been working with in Australia. Thanks for coming on. See you back in England next time we go over. Temptation. It’s been nice having you on After Dark. I hope you got that last line. See ya! Thanks, Johno.

24 thoughts on “John Cooper Clarke – Hairdresser Joke

  1. Ode to JCC

    Was the poetic de rigueur,

    In suited jacket, black velour?

    To this day THE raconteur,

    Punchline: “Who cut your f**** hair ?”

    Too much French ? – I’m not sure…

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