♫♫ -These are two of our writers,
Amber and Jenny. -I´m black!
-And I´m gay! -And we´re both women! -And I´m not.
So here´s how this works. I´ll read the setups
for these jokes, and Amber and Jenny
will read the punch lines. Here we go. Billboard recently
published a list of the 30 best
lesbian love songs, including one song
by the Indigo Girls. -And 29 other songs
by the Indigo Girls. -A children´s book author is under fire for writing
a story about a black Santa. -A black Santa
is like a regular Santa, except he doesn´t get there
until the 27th. -Amber!
-Sorry. A black Santa
is like a regular Santa, except his packages are bigger. [ Laughter ] -Amber!
-Sorry. A black Santa
is like a regular Santa, but instead of, “Ho, ho, ho,” he goes, “Ho, ho.
Hoe, you calling this a cookie?” -Amber! -Sorry. I am sorry. Sorry. -A lesbian in Florida
was recently told she could not enter a nightclub because of the shoes
she was wearing. -Let´s get out of here! Said the lesbian to her cat. [ Laughter ] -A 7-year-old girl
is currently on a mission to hug a police officer
in all 50 states. -So, yeah, she´s white. [ Laughter ] -According to a recent study,
11% of gay male couples have experienced problems
with wedding vendors. -While the other 89%
are wedding vendors. -So, Jenny, what´s
the biggest difference between a straight wedding
and a gay wedding? -The reason
the parents are crying. [ Laughter ] -The African-American
History Museum will be honored
with a Forever Stamp. -Of course, if you want
to lick something in honor of African-American history,
I´m right here, baby. -I think I could
have told that one. -I don´t think you could have. [ Laughter ] -That one would have
worked for me. -´Cause you wouldn´t
have meant it. -[ Laughs ] A British blog
recently published a list of slang terms
for “lesbian.” -Number-one on the list —
“Mom´s New Friend.” -So, Jenny, what´s your favorite
slang term for lesbian? -I´d say Coach.
-No, no, no. Flannel Enthusiast. -Oh. Seth Meyers look-alike.
-Oh, come on. -Oh, that´s the best one.
That´s the best one. Hey, Seth,
why don´t you tell one? -No! I don´t think
I´d get away with it! -Oh, come on. Just one! -I feel like
this will end badly. -Oh, please, Seth, please? -Okay, okay, okay.
-Yes! -The Boy Scouts of America
announced recently that they will allow girls
to join their programs. And when they heard that, all the Boy Scouts
pitched a tent. [ Laughter ] -How dare you!
-You told me it would be okay! -You should be
ashamed of yourself! -Black women and lesbians
are liars! ♫♫ We´ll be right back with more
“Late Night,” everybody.