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Kashmir and Kargil War Ft. Atul Sharma | Standup Comedy


Mujhe pata lag gaya uncle darr rahe hain, Main abhi aur daraunga. Maine bag uthaya, seat pe rakha aur dheere dheere zip kholte huye.. Bashir Bhai! Jis maksad se delhi bheja tha na… Inshallah! Hi Guys! My name is Atul Sharma, I am from Kashmir Sahi hai yaar itne saare log! Humare yahan itne saare log ikathey ho jayein, hum azaadi maang lete hain. Kashmir ke naam se bohot darte hain log. Do dhai saal se main Mumbai mein reh raha hun. To recently mera friend aaya hua tha Kashmir se Mumbai, New Year Eve pe hum Nariman Point pe they, sab uss din wahin pe they.. Poora Mumbai uss din nariman point pe tha. Toh bheed mein mera dost piche reh gaya.. Maine dur se awaaz lagayi, Ajmal! Iss taraf! Jaldi!! 30 second baad sirf main aur Ajmal they waha pe. True story, Main abhi aa raha tha sharing cab se, mere saath uncle they. Uncle puchte hain: beta kya naam hai..? Me: Atul Sharma Oh ho! Pandit? Kahan se ho? Mei kashmir. Uncle thoda udhar sarak gaye. Mera phone baja.. Maine phone nikala, As-Salaam Alaikum Bashir Bhai! Uncle poora udhar sarak gaye. Maine saamne sheeshe mein dekha, Uncle mujhe aur mere bag ko aise dekh rahe hain. Mujhe pata lagg gaya uncle darr rahe hain, Main abhi aur daraunga. Maine bag uthaya, seat pe rakha aur dheere dheere zip kholte huye.. Bashir Bhai! Jis maksad se delhi bheja tha na… Inshallah! Uncle chalti gaadi se kood gaye yaar.. Being from Kashmir mujhe thodi problems hain Mumbai aur Bollywood se. See! 26/11 ka ek attack, Aur bollywood ne sab movies bana di 26/11 ko lekar. D-day, Holiday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Jitne day they sab 26/11 Aur Kashmir mein roz hota hai yaar, Kashmir ke naam per humein kya diya? “Mission Kashmir” Iske naam mei mission hai yaar.. Isko dekhte huye kya status daaloge? Watching Mission Kashmir! “Feeling motivated” #preparing notes for next mission.. Aur agar watching ki jagah planning ho gaya toh? Planning Mission Kashmir! with Ajmal and Bashir, at Lal Chowk, anyone around, please join us. Jitni bhi ye movies hain. D-day, Holiday, patriotic movies, Jitni bhi mumbai walon ne banayi, sab mein aisa dikhaaya hai ki, poori duniya ke terrorist ka main target mumbai hai. I am like kaun aana chahta hai mumbai yaar? Navi mumbai ke log mumbai nahi jaana chahte. Even jab terrorist ko ye target milta hai, They are like, nahi nahi nahi bhai Iraq, Syria bhej de Mumbai nahi. Saala, Dadar station pe bomb lagake zinda bahar aa nahi sakte! Dekho Osama bhai, On duty marne se darta nahi hai main. Lekin bomb lagake, Duty khatam karke mei bahar nikla aur stampede mein dabke marr gaya! Toh upar jaake kya jawab dega jab kisi ne pucha? Dekh bhai tere bomb mein mare 15 aur stampede mein mare 25. Abhi swarg to.. BMC ko milna chahiye..! Kuch problems hain I just want to make one another confession, Being from Kashmir i love pakistani people Before judging me, sun lo, excuse sun lo sun lo Jo pakistani log hote hai na, unke excuses, oh ho mashallah! Recently main ek video dekh raha tha usme — ka, ek bohot bada retired officer Kargil war pe discussion kar raha tha. Aur ussey reporter ne sawaal pucha.. To aapko kab exactly ye laga, ki Hindustan se hum ye jung haar gaye hain? And he gave the most chilled out answer, he is like, exact date to yaad nahi mujhe.. garmiyon ke din they, aam ka season aa gaya tha! Tera desh jung haar gaya hai! tu baitha aam choos raha tha? 65 mein, 1965 mein inke tanks pakistani tank, jammu & kashmir ke border cross karke India mein ghoom rahe hain, aur punjab se inhone apne soldiers ko chutti pe bhej rakha hai. And the excuse they gave is, taaki Hindustan ko aisa na lage ki hum jung karne wale hain. Ye tera strategy plan hai? IPL ke match mein RCB issey better strategy ke saath utarti hai. Ye jung jeetengey aisi strategy se yaar! 65, 71, 99, saari wars haarne ke baawjood inhone uspe kitaabein likhin hain. Parvez Musharraf ne kargil war pe kitaab likhi hai war pe “autobiography.” Jiska naam hai in the line of fire. Kya naam hai? In the line of fire. Iska urdu translation hai, jiska naam hai Sabse Pehle Pakistan. Main, ek min! Ye translation hai ya statement? Par iss kitaab pe parvez bhai ne bohot mehnat ki hai. Iska har edition dusre se alag hai. US edition ke cover photo mein, parvez bhai ki photo hai aise. UK mein aise, aur chinese mein aise. Ye kitaab 3 languages mein hai. Hindi, English, Urdu. Aur har language mein iske facts badal jaate hain. Parvez Bhai ki mehnat! main bata raha hoon.. Jaadui kitaab hai ye! In the line of fire, english version mein btaya hai ki kargil war hui, just hui. usme kitni pakistani casualties huin vo nahi btaya. Vo rahasya khulta hai hindi version Agneepath mein. Hindi version ka naam Agneepath hai. Usme btaya hai 357 casualities hui, Bass. Fir aata hai urdu version Sabse Pehle Pakistan, Oh ho Mashallah! Isme facts nahi hain, isme ye jung jeet gaye hain! Last page pe naachte huye faujiyon ka GIF banaya hai, aur GIF bnane ke liye video bhi border movie ka use kiya hai. Sorry last page pe nahi pehle page pe bnaya hai, book urdu mein hai na. Aap sab ko kargil war ke baare mein pata hai na. Lekin aapko pata hai vo start kaise hui? Initiate kaise hui? Yahi batane ke liye nikla hun kashmir se main. Actually kargil war honi nahi thi, Vo to ek din parvez bhai ne apne 3 dosto ke saath baith ke maal foonka! Maal kashmir ka tha, hit kar gaya! So after getting high, they decided chalo ludo khelein! Ludo khelte khelte betting start ho gayi, sattebaazi Ek kehta meri taraf se 50 hazaar daanv pe, 1 lakh, 2 lakh, chautha zyada high tha! Kehta meri taraf se Kargil daanv pe Ab match hua aur parvez bhai jeet gaye, Ab bhai jeet gaya hai sattebaaz to uske andar ka dushasan jaag gaya to usne bina kisi ko bataye, bina higher authorities se disscuss kiye usne bola ki winters mein Indian soldiers nichey jaayengey tum capture karlo posts aur unhone karli. Lekin kuch dino baad un posts ke asli maalik Indian Army aayi, they are like niklo yahan se! Kehte nahi ye to ustaad ne ludo match mei jeet liya hai! Toh India wale wapas aa gaye. Kuch dino baad India wale bofors se attack karne lage. They got scared, they are like ye kya kar rahe ho aap! India is like, humne bhi ludo match khela! They got scared, toh unhone parvez bhai se help maangi. Ab parvez bhai ne pehle kisi ko btaya nahi tha lekin fir uss time ke Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif ke pass gaye, and he’s like aisa aisa ho gaya hai abhi kuch karo. And Nawaz Sharif got angry and he was like mujse puche bina kyu? kaise? aur kab bheje tumne fauji? and Parvez is like “EXACT DATE TO YAAD NAHI MUJHE” Thank you guys! That’s it from my side.

100 thoughts on “Kashmir and Kargil War Ft. Atul Sharma | Standup Comedy

  1. Mr atul…plz continue your good work. People like you are required to break the bad prejudices abt kashmiris ….

  2. Sach baat ko hazam Karna asan nahi. Aur dard ko hasney ki wajah banana bhi asan nahi.

    Dard ko hasney ki wajah banana asan nahi. Khun k khunt pena padta hai hasi k lie. (K.R.Vaid)

  3. Exactly to yad ni mujhe mene kab like ki video lekin han ek minute me kr di thi😜😜👌👌 awesome "ek kashmiri pure pakistan pe bhari"!!

  4. Awesome guy. To make great comedy he doesn’t have to degrade any religion or his motherland. Cheers bhai !!!

  5. Welcome bhai in the field of comedy…..epic timing….bassir bhai ne aapko CLC me issi maksad se bheja tha.. 😀

  6. Mai abhi or daraungaa …..😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣… exact to yad nhi but Gazab tha yaaall …. Khatarnak ek dum ……👍👍👏👏

  7. Happy Janamasthami!!
    Thank you guys for 100k views.
    Please subscribe the channel if you haven’t yet.
    Will be uploading the next video soon.
    Thank you for your love and support.

  8. Atul Bhai, very funny video. Aapko personally janna apni khushkismati maanta hun mai. Khoob tarakki karen. 🙂

  9. Aacha krte ho bhai aap…..anubhav bassi,upmanyu,kunal kamra ke saath saath ab aap v mere list m shaamil ho gye ho😎😎😎..keep it up bro

  10. Loved your comedy man, keep growing and I'll definitely try to watch you perform live someday… you're a good comic man.

  11. भाई हर दिन देखता हु यार ये विडीओ जब से अपलोड हुआ है क्या ज़बरदस्त बोले हो भाई 🔥

  12. Good content but chutyap thora ziada dal dia h bhai. Zara mm alam ko bhi search krlaina aur cap karnal sherkhan ko b.
    Agli baar authentic content hoga.
    Say no to war and self made low-key jokes.
    Love.

  13. Bro here is a advise from pakistan viewer! Try to avoid targeting countries in comedy. You will got more likes or subs: “ INSAH ALLAH”😁

  14. Your are awesome bro
    I like the way of your comedy
    You can make laugh people without any abuse word or vulgar comments ,one sided thinking.
    Keep it up bro. 👌👌👍😃😃

  15. What ever talk about Pakistan it’s fine bcz we don’t care about India but plz don’t make laugh on kashmir I don’t want to explain why but plz don’t make laugh on Kashmir, about wars haha
    I do watch stand up comedies of India and I love them but people like u 🖕🏻

    #peace 🇵🇰 ✌🏻 🇮🇳

  16. Yeh nya Kashmir hai, yeh dil me ghusega bhi or wahan baith ke chill marega bhi .. Loved your timing. Nice work 😎👏👏👏

  17. Atul Sir is phenomenal… Yehi hai wo sharma ji ka ladka jo baaki bachho ki jeene ki ichha khatam karta hai! Brilliant effort Atul Sir… God Speed!

  18. There is something about sound in this video. Idk if the recording of your voice is not clear or what!!! BTW that's just me and my opinion.
    Nice stuff.

  19. भाई यह वीडियो देखने के बाद सब्सक्राइब किया है
    जय हिंद वंदे मातरम

  20. Timing dekh rhe ho bhai ki…… Oye hoye, kyaa behtareen foda hai 😍 ab kashmir ka launda nhi fodega to kaun fodega🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 btw loved your work man, god bless you

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