Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Key & Peele – Auction Block


– ALL RIGHT,
Y’ALL GATHER ROUND.
GATHER ROUND.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY
FOR AN AUCTION. ALL RIGHT, Y’ALL,
GET ON UP THERE. – PUT THAT WHIP DOWN
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH. – STRAIGHT UP. I DON’T CARE WHAT PLANTATION
I END UP ON. I’M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT
IN THIS MOTHER[bleep]. – HELLS YEAH. – WE HAVE LOT A,
LOT B, AND LOT C. – UH, $3 ON LOT A.
– $4. – 5! – $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. LOT A GOES TO THE MAN
IN THE BLACK HAT. – I MEAN, GOOD.
– YEAH. – [chuckles] I’M GLAD
I DIDN’T GET SOLD, ‘CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE OWNED
BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. – WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER
KILL ME THE FIRST DAY, OR I’MA GO BUCK-WILD
ON THE WHOLE OPERATION. – OKAAY? – NEXT ONE,
GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW. – OH, THIS–OKAY. both: [inhale] – $6 ON LOT A. – $7!
– EIGHT. – 9! – $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! both: [exhale] – OKAY, WELL,
YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE. – IT’S A NO-BRAINER.
– I MEAN, THAT GUY’S HUGE. – A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL. – THAT’S TWO OF ME.
– ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM. – I’D BUY THAT DUDE. – MY QUESTION IS
HOW’D THEY CATCH HIM? – NEXT! – OKAY. OH, YEAH.
– YEAH. – $2 ON LOT A. – $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. – SEE, NOW,
THAT SURPRISES ME. – THAT IS INTERESTING,
TO SAY THE LEAST. – I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT, IT’S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY’RE LOOKING FOR? – IT’S LIKE
THE WHOLE CRITERIA SEEMS JUST A LITTLE
INCONSISTENT. – I MEAN, AT SOME POINT,
I WANT TO BE ON LOT A. – YEAH, WHICH–
CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A? – NEXT. – OH, HERE WE GO.
– HERE WE GO. – BEEN A PLEASURE.
– GIVE ‘EM HELL. – ALL RIGHT.
– OKAY. – $8 ON LOT A. – GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! – HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
– NOPE, NOT TRUE. – HOW DOES IT HAPPEN? – WHAT YOU JUST SAID–
THAT’S GOBBLEDYGOOK. OKAY? THAT CAN’T BE TRUE.
‘CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO? LOOK AT HIM.
WHAT COULD HE PICK? A COTTON PLANT
IS, LIKE, THIS TALL. – YES.
– I’M SAY– NO OFFENSE, BROTHA,
I’M JUST SAYING. – OFFENSE TAKEN.
– WHA–[gasps] AM I WRONG? IS HE NOT SHORT?
HE’S SHORT. BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT
IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD. – YOU’RE GOOD, MAN.
– ENOUGH. I WILL NOT HAVE
MY REPUTATION TAINTED, SELLIN’ SUPERFICIAL,
BIGOTED SLAVES. – SUPERFICIAL? DID THAT REALLY
JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? – THAT’S IT!
THIS AUCTION’S OVER! – AUCTION’S OVER?
– WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. NO, IT’S–IT AIN’T OVER.
IT’S NOT OVER! I’M STRONG, Y’ALL! I’M VERY STR–
I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET. – I’M FAST, I GOT STAMINA,
AND I KNOW MAGIC. – MY WORST QUALITY
IS THAT I’M A PERFECTIONIST. – LET ME MEN–
HAVE I MENTIONED THIS? DOCILE. I AM AGREEABLE
TO A FAULT. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE
WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE. – NOT A VIOLENT BONE
IN MY BODY. – I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON,
NO BIG DEAL. NEVER SEEN A BOAT
IN MY LIFE.

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Auction Block

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. It was about their color, and the hierarchy they would have played to a prospective owner. They'd cause trouble with your current group of slaves, due to perceived favoritism.

  3. yo guys keep talking about starting a revolution and messing shit up, the buyers are hearing you guys. and you're wondering why nobody's buyin lmao

  4. Kinda seems like the whole point of this skit is to say old white guys are inherently racist. Which is in itself a racist view. I like key and Peele, but not when they get political.

  5. You want to know how they β€œcaught” that slave? The white man bought the black slaves from black kings in Africa! That’s right! And black slaves didn’t even make 1/3 of the slave industry! 2/3 were Irish! But of course, America doesn’t even know their own history so carry on rioting in the streets believing some cooked up bullshit! Ciao!

  6. Wait,wait,,,are they allowed to make a skit like this in this tribal politically correct S T U P I D times ? Oh the humanity . Where's the outRAGE

  7. If your reading this, I hope you become riich and successful β™₯οΈπŸ’― ✌🏾

  8. Wow this is just what our country needs. More "comedians" adding to the racist naritive. Give it up. No originality

  9. Yall should have let key and peele freestyle this one. As in just wear this to the set and see their reactions.

  10. Just walked right on, no big deal never seen a boat in my life ☠️🀣🀣🀣🀣

  11. I only dropped by to tell everybody if you wanna change insurance switch to Geico. Trust me you won't regret it.

  12. "Nobody want you here go back to your own country"
    Well if you feel that way why the hell did you kidnap me, and force me to come here?

  13. Slavery was never abolished only nationalized. Slaving for things the land used to give you for free. Food, clothes and shelter.

  14. Is that. …Andy from according to JimπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ. Someone call Dana to give him a wedgie πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚I understand that no one else will not know what I'm talking about, I shall take my chances

  15. This is what inspired the auction scene in Get Out. Peele just switch it from conservative racists to liberal racists.

  16. damned funny even if SLAVERY SUCKS OUT LOUD AND WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED AGAIN IN AMERICA!! but gotta give it to you…this was hilarious! would NEVER be allowed to air today

  17. BLACK PEOPLE HAVE THE HIGHEST SELF PRESEVATION
    PSYCHOPATH MECHANICS WHICH ENABLED WILL BE SLAVES FOR EVER. AND WHERE

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