Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Key & Peele – I Said Bitch


– HEY, HEY, HEY, ALL RIGHT.
– HEY. – HI, SWEETIE,
THAT’S FOR YOU. – HEY, TRACE.
HOW YOU DOING, GIRL? – CHECK IT OUT.
– OH, MY. – GIRL, I GOT A SUNKEN TUB.
YOU GOT TO SEE IT. – OH, I GOT TO SEE THIS.
– ALL RIGHT. – YOU TWO
HAVE A GOOD TIME NOW. – HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN.
[door closes] DUDE, I AM SORRY
WE’RE LATE, MAN. – MAN, IT HAPPENS, MAN. – AND SHE TALK ABOUT HOW
WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CAR AT 6:45,
I’M LIKE, “ALL RIGHT.” – UH-OH. – TELL ME MY DUMB ASS
AIN’T SITTING IN THE CAR, WAITING UNTIL 7:15. – NUH-UH. – OKAY, WHEN I TRACK MY WIFE
DOWN 20 MINUTES LATER, SHE’S STEPPING OUT
THE DAMN SHOWER TALKING ABOUT, “CAN I HELP YOU?” – SEE, THAT’S CRAZY
RIGHT THERE. – I LOOKED THIS WOMAN
IN THE EYE, I SAID, “BITCH, YOU TOLD ME 6:45.” – YOU SAID THAT? – PSH, YEAH I SAID– “BITCH.”
THEN I LAID IT OUT. – BUT YOU SAID, “BITCH,”
THOUGH? – HMM? – YOU SAID, “BITCH”? – YEAH. – YOU GOT TO SEE THE FIREPLACE
DOWNSTAIRS IN THE LIVING ROOM. – OKAY. – DON’T PLAY GAMES, MAN. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU’RE
GOING TO TELL ME. – EXACTLY, IT’S LIKE,
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.
– IS THAT SO HARD? – IT’S LIKE LAST WEEK, MAN. WE GOING OUT TO DINNER,
RIGHT? I’M LIKE,
“WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?” SHE’S LIKE, “YOU DECIDE.”
– UH-OH. – I’M LIKE, “ALL RIGHT,
OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE.” SHE LIKE, “NAH.”
– MM-HMM. – I’M LIKE,
“STRAIGHT UP, CHILI’S.” SHE’S LIKE, “EHH.”
– NO, NO. – DARRELL, I NAMED
SEVEN MORE RESTAURANTS. – NO, CRAIG, NO. – I FINALLY SAID,
“TAYLOR’S,” THE PLACE I KNOW SHE WANTS TO GO
IN THE FIRST PLACE. – RIGHT, RIGHT. – SHE LOOK AT ME, SHE SAID, “IF THAT’S WHERE
YOU WANT TO GO.” – NO, SHE DIDN’T, CRAIG. – IF THAT’S WHERE
I WANT TO GO. DARRELL, I LOOKED MY WOMAN
IN THE EYE SOCKETS. I TOLD HER STRAIGHT OUT,
I JUST SAID IT, MAN, I SAID IT. I SAID, I SAID, I SAID– I SAID, “BI…”
– HEY, GUYS. – HEY GIRL, HOW YOU DOING?
– OH, HOW YOU DOING? – YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME? – YOU SEEN THE BEDROOM?
– JUST LOOKING AT THE WOOD. – THAT WASHING MACHINE IS HUGE.
– UP ON THE CEILING HERE. – YOU GET A WHOLE BUNCH OF
CLOTHES IN THAT WASHING MACHINE. – HEY, BABY, I’M GOING TO TAKE
HER BACK UP TO THE KITCHEN AND SHOW HER THE DISHWASHER. – DARRELL?
– YEAH, BABY? – I WANT A KITCHEN ISLAND
JUST LIKE THE ONE UPSTAIRS. – YOU GONNA GET IT TOO. – I LOVE YOU. – I LOVE YOU. – I SAID, “BITCH,
IF YOU WANTED TO GO TO TAYLOR’S, JUST TELL A BROTHER
YOU WANT TO GO TO TAYLOR’S!” OKAY?
– YOU SAID THAT? – OH, HELL YEAH, MAN.
I LAID IT OUT, RIGHT? I SAYS–I SAYS–I SAYS– I SAID, “BITCH,
I’M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE.” – YOU SAID, “BITCH,” THOUGH? – HMM? – YOU CALLED
YOUR WIFE A BITCH? – UH-HUH, YEAH. – CRAIG.
– DARRELL. – WHERE ARE THOSE GUYS? – I DON’T KNOW.
LET’S GO… – SO SHE’S LIKE,
“WHY DON’T YOU RENT A MOVIE WE BOTH LIKE?”
– NO, SHE DIDN’T. – AFTER I SPENT 25 MINUTES
IN THE GODDAMN BLOCKBUSTER. CRAIG, I LOOKED THIS WOMAN
IN HER OPTIC STEMS AND I SAYS– I SAID– I SAYS, “BITCH.” – YOU SAID THAT? – AIN’T NOTHING
BUT A THING. – BUT YOU SAID, “BITCH,”
THOUGH? – YEP.
– SEE… [phone rings] – OH, SH– HEY, HONEY, CRAIG’S JUST
GIVING ME THE NEIGHBORHOOD TOUR. – SO THEN SHE’S LIKE,
“I DIDN’T KNOW WE’D BE DOING SO MUCH WALKING.”
– NUH-UH. – I’M LIKE, “I DIDN’T TELL YOU
TO WEAR THOSE SHOES.” SHE SAID, “DON’T RAISE
YOUR VOICE AT ME.” – WHAT? – DARRELL, I LOOKED THIS WOMAN
DEAD IN THE WINDOWS OF HER SOUL. – MM-HMM.
– I SAID– I SAID… [door opens, air hisses] I SAID, “BITCH.”

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – I Said Bitch

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. Why do we have to settle with lack luster , substance devoid, cringe fest videos from Lele pons, Hannah stocking, Amanda Cerny etc when key and peele still exist. Please come back!

  3. Am I the only women out there who doesn't care if her spouse calls her a bitch? I call him one right back and we usually end up laughing

  4. These youtube videos ruined a lot of the show for me. If there were less on here, the show would've been so much better.

  5. Maaaannnn Keye and Peele you two are truly doing gods work. You guys make me be able to go through my day smiling with a positive attitude. Keep this shit up. GODS WORK!!!!

  6. My lady got mad at me for laughing at this. I looked her straight in her eyebrow holders and said….. … … .. Beeeitch!

  7. My GF said this was stupid when I showed her. I looked in her particle detectors that are her eyes and I said
    ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿšด๐Ÿšต๐Ÿšฃ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ‚๐Ÿšฃ๐Ÿ›ฅ๏ธ๐ŸšŽโœˆ๏ธ๐Ÿš๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ›ธ..
    แดฎแดตแดตแดตแดตแดตแดตแดตแต€แถœแถœแถœแดดแดดแดดแดด

  8. This is by far one of my favorite skits ever but they made so many amazingly hilarious skits. I miss these guys show so much

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