Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Key & Peele – Proud Thug


– OKAY,
LET’S GET THIS THING GOING. EVERYBODY TAKE A SEAT. WE GOT TO HAVE
MORE MEETINGS, HOMES, ‘CAUSE I’M TELLING YOU, MAN,
WE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED. [sighs] [police sirens in the distance] CARLITO AIN’T GOT A SEAT, MAN.
SOMEONE GET HIM A CHAIR. – NO, I’M COOL. – NO, DUDE, GET HIM A CHAIR,
HOMES. – I’M GONNA SIT GANGSTER. – BUT, CARLITO, IT DOESN’T LOOK
LIKE IT’S COMFORTABLE, MAN. WHY DON’T YOU
JUST SIT IN THE CHAIR? – I NEVER SIT
IN NO CHAIR,ESE.MM-MMM. YOU NEVER, EVER GON’ CATCH ME
SITTING IN NO CHAIRS. – HEY,ESE,YOU KNOW THAT
THAT’S LOCO, RIGHT? – NO, MAN.
[scoffs] – IT’S COOL, CARLITO. NO ONE’S GONNA THINK
YOU’RE SOFT IF YOU SIT IN A CHAIR, HOMES.
– YEAH, YEAH. – WE’RE ALL SITTING IN CHAIRS.
– RIGHT. – BUNCH OF BITCH-ASSCULEROS.QUE?
– I DON’T HAVE NO TIME TO SIT IN NO [bleep] CHAIR. – OKAY. NOW THAT WE’RE ALL HERE– YOU KNOW WHAT?
BUT WHY, THOUGH? LIKE, IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE
FOR YOU TO SET YOURSELF UP WITH A RULE LIKE THAT. – NO, IT’S, LIKE, LIMITING.
– YEAH, LIMITING. – LIMITING.
– I MEAN, SOMETIMES, PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS. – MAN, [bleep] ALL OF YOU GUYS
WITH YOUR BITCH-ASS CHAIRS. [wood cracks] – THERE.
– [scoffs] – OKAY, CARLITO, QUIT PLAYING
AND SIT IN THE CHAIR,PENDEJO.– NO.
– CARLITO, WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETING
NOW,ESE.GET UP! – I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE, MAN. – YOU KNOW–
– I’M CHILLING. GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MEETING. – OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW
IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD. YOU DON’T CARE
THAT IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD? – WEIRD FOR YOU, MAYBE. – HE DOESN’T CARE.
OKAY. OKAY, HOMIES,
SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, LIKE, WE GOT TO SELL
MORE DRUGS… – [groaning]
– AND WE GOT TO MAKE MORE CRIMES HAPPEN. ROBERTO, WHERE ARE WE–
– [groaning] – CARLITO,
YOU’RE BLEEDING,ESE!– [grunts]
WHO CARES, MAN? [winces] – YO, WHOA!
YOU JUST GOT SHANKED, MAN! WE GOT TO PULL THAT OUT!
– LEAVE IT! I’M CHILLING, HOMES. I DON’T CARE
ABOUT THAT STUPID SHANK. [groaning] [exhales] – CARLITO. CARLITO, WAKE UP, MAN! [radio chatter] – HEY,
DON’T EVEN BOTHER,ESE.– WHAT?
[screams] OH,DIOS MIO!– I DON’T NEED
THOSE DEFIBRILLATORS. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO COME BACK
TO LIFE, HOMES. – CARLITO,
GO BACK INTO YOUR BODY. – MY BODY’S STUPID, HOMES.
– WHAT? – I’M FINE RIGHT HERE
ON THE SPIRIT PLANE. LIFE IS FOR PUSSIES. [heavenly singing] – CARLITO.
CARLITO, GO TO THE LIGHT. – NAH, I’M GOOD, MAN. – CARLITO,
THAT’S HEAVEN, MAN. – I DON’T NEED TO GO
TO HEAVEN, HOMES. HEAVEN IS FOR PUSSIES.
– OH, BOY.

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Proud Thug

  1. Guys if you see someone get impaled by a huge object please do not pull it out you will most likely cause them to bleed to death. Rather call an ambulance. – From an EMT

  2. Insane attention to detail: Key got a fake gangster tattoo on the back of his head for this skit, which is not visible for 99.9% of this sketch, visible only when Carlito is about to die. Wow!

  3. This is one of the best episode out there… "heaven are for pussies" 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

  4. You see that's how much these devils hate are people! That's why we call them the devil! ESAU SO-CALLED whiteman. That's okay because their gonna be serving us in the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN!!!! SHALAWAN!

  5. Carlito originally did wanna sit in a chair but someone stole his seat so he tried to play it off like it doesn't matter to him.

  6. My favorite line from this sketch:

    "Okay homies, so this is what we have to do. Like, we gotta sell more drugs, and we gotta make more crimes happen."

  7. hahahaha we called that type of attitude in Tongan FAKAHIA , when you tryna act tough and shit but your soft asf hahaha

  8. The way he says "go ahead with your meeting" with a undertone of discomfort is fucking incredibly hilarious. Only Jordan can pull that off.

  9. I am so hooked on these shows!!
    Anyone else supposed to be doing something else but instead watching these??
    Please like if you do

  10. I used to be just like you ay.
    Thought I was to cool to sit down.
    Then.
    One day! A Table Shanked Me To Death!
    Consequences.

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