Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

LAND KARA DE, Horror Movies and Ghaziabad – Standup Comedy by Kartikay Singh – LIMEWIT Live


Abb scene dekho aap log Auto waala aur mai dono hawa me hai Aur mai Auto waale se aage hoon And all this while Main usko sirf yahi bol raha hoon Tu 100-500 jyada le le Bas tu land kara de Main Kanpur mein paida hua tha Theek hai Kanpur mein koi paida hua Koi UP ka hai yaha pe? Main Kanpur mein paida hua tha Life mein excitement thi nahin Aur adventure bhi nahin tha To mere papa ko laga ki yaha kya karenge Ghaziabad chalte hain Aur Ghaziabad mein kya adventure hai bhai Kya adventure Ghaziabad mein log Roadies nahin jaate bhai Yahi task mil jata hai Yeh ghar wapas aa jaye Yahi bahot badi baat hai Ghaziabad mein kab kadam par adventure hai bhai sahab Yahan ki Sadkein Sadkon par pahaad bana rakhe hain Yahan Delhi me usko speed breaker bhi kehte hain lekin Hamaare yahan isko pahaad bolte hain kyunki Speed breaker itna hota hai Jab yeh ghutne tak pahunch jaye Isko pahaad hi kahoge aap log Saalon ke paas material aur haunsla kam pad gaya Nahi toh yeh bana dete Toh ek baar kya hua Aise hi main Delhi se aaraha tha Auto karke Ghaziabad Delhi walo ko kahan pata hai Delhi wala apni chaud me hain Main toh Delhi se hoon Behenc*** Usne chadha di Usko pahaad dikha nahi Bhaiya ne to chadha di Auto take off kar gaya Meri Gaand rip off kar gayi Abb scene dekho aap log Auto waala aur mai dono hawa me hain Aur mai Auto waale se aage hoon And all this while Main usko sirf yahi bol raha hoon Tu 100-500 jyaada le le Bas tu land kara de Aur woh mereko bol raha hai ki Main hi madarc*** hoon Jo main Ghaziabad aaya Achha movies toh dekhte honge aap log Kon, kon dekhta hain yah ape, Movies? Theatre me dekhte honge Ab yaar theatre me movies dekho Lekin Delhi-NCR ke andar mat dekho Kyuki theatre me kuch log aaye hote hain na Jinhe movies se kuch matlab nahi hota Nahi sir, main couples ki baat nahi kar raha kyunki unhein to duniya se hi matlab nahi hota Matlab kuch log hote hain yaar Upar baithe hote hain Unhein films se matlab nahi hota kya chal raha hai Movie horror hai Movie thriller hai. Movie action waali hai Inke liye movie comedy hi hoti hai kyonki yeh kasam kha kar aaye hote hain ki isme comic timing toh main hi daalunga Kesari dekhi hain yahan pr kisi ne Kesari? Badi achhi movie hai War movie Wahan pe ek scene aata hai Akshay Kumar apne soldier se baat kar raha hota hai Kesari rang ki pagdi pehni hoti hai usne Baat kar raha hota hai ki Hum war pe jaa rahe hain Isme woh bolta hai Ek bohot hi achha dialogue Aaj meri pagdi bhi kesari Aaj jo bahega mera lahu bhi kesari Aaj mera jawab bhi kesari Mere piche ek banda baitha hai Woh bolta hai “Aur meri zubaan bhi kesari” Horror movies koi dekhta hai yahan pe horror movies, koi bhi? Aap dekhte ho kaun kaun nahi dekhta hai To dekh le bhai Is haraamzade ki wajah se Hum jaise logo ko bhi dekhni padti hai horror movies Aur mera horror movies ka nahi hai seedha logic hai yaar Nahi dekhte horror movies G**nd fatti hai meri Aur meri toh badi bhi hai Sir, aapne notice nahi kiya? Mujhe laga aapne kiya Toh abhi kuch din pehle ‘Annabelle’ hui thi release Sare log keh rahe the ‘Bhai Annabelle, Annabelle’ Conjuring universe Main apne dosto ke paas gaya Bhai kya hai Conjuring Keh rahe
“Tu toh socially acceptable aadmi nahin hai, saale” Tu jaa pehle conjuring download kar ke aa Maine kaha thik hai Ab mujhse na ek galti ho gayi Maine Conjuring Hindi me download kar li Yeh moment baad me aaya Kyunki dubbing karne wala Bihari tha Bihari hai koi? Itni jansankhya hai inki bach nahi sakte inse Bihari na wahiyaat log hote hain Inka itna accent ka problem hota hain naa Inn saalo ka punched nahi hota Punchad hojaata hai Sadak pe nahi jaate, sarak pe chale jaate hai ye Ye ra ko da bolte hain Ab Conjuring dekhi hai na? Do main characters ke naam pata hai uske? Ed Warren aur Lorraine Warren Ek scene aata hai, Lorraine ek kamre se aage ja rahi hoti hai Uske andar bhoot hota hai To English me Ed kaise mana karega “Lorraine, listen to me Lorraine” “Lorraine, there’s a spirit over there Lorraine” “Lorraine, please Lorraine” Par meri Conjuring to Bihari ne Dub kari thi “Are Lau***, vaha mat jaao Lau***” Aye Lau*** Isse pehle tak na Conjuring dekhke
Gaa** phat rahi thi Lekin iss scene ke baad naa Jo Lau*** laga diye

71 thoughts on “LAND KARA DE, Horror Movies and Ghaziabad – Standup Comedy by Kartikay Singh – LIMEWIT Live

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Sahi h bhai… Hm b ΰ€—ΰ€Ύΰ€œΰ€Ώΰ€―ΰ€Ύΰ€¬ΰ€Ύΰ€¦ aare hn πŸ˜…πŸ€£

  2. #Support_kartikey ……bhai ehπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ mjaa aa gya bhai huss huss K starting se le K end tk zeher…. Comedy timing ek no. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ keep it up brother

  3. Woahh! Sexy standup comedy bhaii. Land kara de πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†. Doosri baar dekhaaa. Sharing this with my friends. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. Arrey bhai bhai bhai….. Awesome jokes and best timing…Very good work.. Congratulations and all the very best for your future🀘🀘

  5. New Delhi, Book your Tickets for Tomorrow's 'The Standup Specials Show by LIMEWIT Live' at Akshara Theatre featuring Viral Standup Comedians including Mohit Arora, Shivam Sehgal, Rajat Sood and Badel Sharma. Tickets Link – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/the-standup-specials-show-by-limewit-live/ET00112135

  6. Good one chote.. I'm a colleague of your elder sister. She is funny too. You did an amazing start. My 2 two cents.. would be how to do comedy without using abusive language. Mera bhai kehta h.. gali dene se koi Gaitonde nahi banta. He is right in a way. Don't you think… I will look forward to your gali-less comic performance. I wish you fall on good times. ( Or ha hum bhi bihari h born n raised in Banaras)😊😊😊😊😊

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