Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Man Up – Man Baby – Uncensored


♪ It’s human nature ♪ – Men are in crisis. Mansplaining, manspreading,
mayonaise, times up, Woody Allen, Dave Nevaro, we’ve got a lot of issues guys. Thankfully I’m here to help. Now why am I qualified,
because I’ve got a popular podcast, a
gender neutral haircut, and I’ve dealt with every
problem that a man can have. I’ve got erectile
dysfunction right now. I’m Theo Vonn and
this is Man Up. So this weeks episode
is about growth. And I got a call from Calila, who is a girlfriend of
an old friend of mine named Bobby Lire or Bob Li. And some of you
guys have seen him, and he hasn’t really exhibited
growth very well in his life. So first things first, I
went over there to help out. – He’s the absolute
love of my life. I don’t see a
future without him, but there are some barriers
to our relationship. Namely, my step dad. My step dad’s a little
bit more traditional and he has some concerns. – Say if I were a
peeping tom right, and you’re not here. And I show up, ’cause
I got a ladder, and I got everything
I need right. I got the gloves,
I got a thermos, you know I got time to kill, you know I’m unemployed. And I’m here watching
through the windows and I see Bobby, what’s
he gonna be doing. What am I gonna see him doing? – 16 hours of video game play with the occasional
intermittent break of masterbatory activities. – Jesus christ. I know when I see somebody that needs to
evolve a little bit. – Right. – And for me it just
seems like Bobby just wants to play
this child forever. – He’s a man baby. – He’s a man baby. – When I first moved in here, I would walk out to the balcony and I would always get this
strong smell of ammonia. Then I see this massive
jug of yellow fluid. So I asked him,
Bobby what is that? – His natural urine isn’t it. – His natural urine. – That’s an easy one. – He says it’s a Korean thing, I don’t buy it. – Yeah I don’t buy that either I’ve watched a lot of
Korean shit online, I’ve never seen
anything like that. And I used to pee in my
girlfriends sink at night and the cats would show up and they started peeing
in there and that’s how her mom knew I
was peeing in there. So it’s you know
there’s a lot of ways to get caught up in that. – Let me give you an example
of my step dads 70th birthday. – Okay. – Six people in the
table, fancy dinner, I asked Bobby hey no gadgets, so he didn’t know what
to do with his hands. So naturally his hands
found my breasts. – Oh wow. – During dinner. – Crotch too or just
breasts? Honestly. – Mostly breasts.
Mostly waist up. – Did he witness some of it. – He witnessed all of it. – Jesus dude. That makes my fucking neck hurt. – That 70th birthday fiasco
is what I want to erase out of everyone’s memory. – Right. – So I want to have a
dinner with my step dad. I want a re do. – Yes I got a good idea. If you don’t mind
I’d like to maybe take him aside for a little bit and see if we can’t
do some things. Crack into that
jaundice phenomemon that’s going on behind his eyes. And see what we can create. – Please. – Okay. Look I can relate. Bobby has extra urine around
the house, I’ve been there. You know I’ve done a
lot of poor choices. I’ve got two bags of body
hair under my sink right now. One of them is mine. But I know that
I have to change. The mission now was
getting Bobby to know that he needs to change as well. – [Theo] I hear him, I hear him. Stand up straight. – Hey honey. – Sup Bob. He has nothing crazy. – What’s deal? What is this? – Uh just hanging out man,
seeing if you were home. – Yeah I am home I’m here. – Yeah you weren’t home. – Okay. – What’s going on man – hey – good to see you bro – What’s going on. – Yeah you look good. – What is this? – Just like a little,
it’s gonna be like, kind of like an intervention, but nobody’s here but us. – Intervention?
I’ve been sober for like 15 years so I’m good. – It’s not about
that though. Right? She’s good, nobody’s pregnant. Let’s go outside.
If it’s alright man. – What – Yeah bro we’re not
being crazy I promise. I mean some people are
crazy, but we’re not them. – You’re not gonna
call me and tell me. – About 80 feet it looks like. – Dude, dude, just call
me and tell me that you’re going to do this. – My bad. – What do you mean your bad? Is this like just call me. – I’m saying I feel bad now. – Yeah but there’s a crew
in my house it’s weird. – Well Calila, first of all
Calila reached out to me. Okay I’m not trying
to be rude but. – She called you? – She said something to
me yeah, on the phone. She called. – Weird. – She said straight up. – Everything’s fine. – Well that’s not exactly
how she framed it. – Yeah but how did she frame it? – I’ll say it. Bobby masturbates
around the house, different places,
urinates outdoors, – And. – Dude there’s people
that live out here. Neighbors man. That could be – Yeah I’m also – Is that a school. – Oh can I just say this though – Yeah. Say it. – I just defend myself alright. In society we make these
rules like etiquette. – Okay. – Right. But these rules
are made to be broken. – Yeah, in high school
Bobby, in junior high. You know in
kindergarten, in pre-K. People shitting off the
balcony and you know pissing in front of people. There’s 60 people
living over there. – Alright. – So I’m just saying
let’s try this bro. We go to this thing
today with me. And then we go to another
event with his family. And we see if you
can step it up bro. It’s her step dad! She’s already down
to her second dad. – I gotta go places
with you? Alright. – She’s already down to
her second dad Bobby. – Next time though,
seriously next time, you call me and you tell me
that you’re going to do this because it’s fucking bullshit. – Okay is your phone
on? I tried to text you. – No it’s not on. – Because of my southern roots I know that manners
are important. And what Babbabear
here is missing is a little bit of them manoirs. So I took little Bobby
to a Cotillion class with some high society types. You ready? – Yeah. – Alright, sayonara. – Say hello everyone
to our gues- oh we’re going in for a hug. Okay I actually went for
that because I didn’t want to be rude, but we’re
gonna work on introductions. – You don’t like ethnic storm. – No it has nothing
to do with ethnicity. I’m an all inclusive person. – I just went in a
little too hot I think. – You went in like we- a little too
familiar I would say. We are all here to actually
teach you some manners today. – I know all the
manners but alright. – Well I’m here to teach
you all of things that you don’t know that you don’t know. – Like if I lived in
England in a castle? – No this is actually
what I like to call real life skills. These are everyday courtesy’s
that you should know. And anyone should know. For both your personal and
your professional life. – Alright. – Alright that’s- we’re
gonna work on that. No that’s not happening. Anytime you meet someone, you need to know
the proper greeting. You want to have one
arms length distance which is about 18 inches
between another person. We are not going to flap
our wings like a birdie. We’re going to pretend
we have books on either side of our waist. And we are going
to act as if we are conducting an orchestra. – This is ridiculous, I’ve never – Okay here we go, here we go. – It’s absolute ludicy. – Here we go, stop, stop, stop. – I made all these
arrangements for Bobby to take a moment to
not think about himself and to listen to somebody else, and to actually display a
little bit of congeniality. – Chew and swallow,
chew and swallow. – And I was just bool. – And honestly he
didn’t really show up. – I swear to god I
farted twice already, but it was quiet. (kids squealing) – Okay this is so not a
regular manners class. – In America we are
told to chew quietly. – Oh here in America,
I did not know that. – Yeah well. – Thank you so much,
white lady for telling me how to eat in America. – I am not teasing him. – Look I think our last
hope is to see if Bobby can properly know
how to make a toast, otherwise I don’t even
see how he’s gonna survive this tomorrow dude. – Yeah you’re not placing
good bets on, or good odds. – You want me to do a toast. Hear hear. – Hear hear. – I would like to salut. – Excuse me I have to interrupt. You open with the lines, I would like to propose a toast. Hear hear is at the
end of the toast. Let’s try it again. – Bobby. – You’re laughing, but
this is serious business. – This is the worst
human experience I’ve ever had in my life. – How does that make me feel. – That’s your problem. – No I think you’re great. – That makes me feel so badly. (laughter) I’m going to cry. – Now he’s laughing. – It’s not funny guys. So things hadn’t gone well, the big dinner had arrived
and I realized that Bobby was gonna need
some assistance. – That was weird. – Okay hello. – How you doing/ – You alright. – Yeah I feel fine. – You don’t always
pull out my chair. – I know because
I’m a different man. – Before we start, I
called the both of you to have dinner because
the last dinner that we had together
didn’t go so well. – When we go out to
eat you are constantly groping her in
front of everyone. – Can I say something. – No just wait a second,
just hear this out. – Okay. – When you do this,
it’s kind of insulting. – Okay that’s good,
I understand that. – Good evening guys,
my name’s chuckie, I’ll be your waiter
this evening. – What’s your name? – Chuckie. – Hey Chuckie. – Nice to see you, just the
three of you guys tonight? – Mm hmm, – Awesome, welcome
to The District, have anybody told you
about our specials. – Not yet. – No you’re the
first guy to say hi. – Excellent tonight we
have a seven ounce duck, – Yeah that’s it? – That’s it. – Yeah that’s gonna be it. – And what’s on it? – The duck comes natural, it comes in its
own sauce and it’s – What kind of sauce is it? – I can ask the
chef for you sir. – Well you should know
that right as a waiter. – I’m new here sir. – Okay. Alright thank you very much. – Thanks man. – I know it’s, I’m just gonna. ’cause my girlfriend’s
so pretty. Okay. – Suck it in, suck
it in a little. I need your belly
to go down a bit. Okay there we go. Oh god. – Bobby. I knew that Bobby
might need some help, so I slipped him an ear piece. Bobby, time for the toast. – Time for the toast. Hear, hear. Calila, Roger, Both of you, I am grateful to
have you in my life. Calila you are my native
American love sister. – I’m not Native American. – You look like Pocahontas
right now though. And that’s what- you know
exactly what I’m saying. – I don’t. – Let me start over. Calila, I just want
to say I’m sorry, because I spend a lot of
time thinking about myself. You are my angel. – Come here, give me your face. – You are special to me. And I am so happy to
have you in my life. – Thank you sweetie
that means a lot. – And I am grateful to Roger, because just like
me he recognizes amazing women when he sees them. Even though you’re dating
her mom and not her. You know what I mean. I love you. Hear hear. – Cheers. – Everyone says hear hear. – Hear hear. – Everyone in the
restaurant, hear hear. – What I learned
from watching Bobby is you have to take
your problems seriously. You have to step
into the situation and you have to do it. You have to do the work. And did Bobby do
the work today, no. I don’t think he did, but
he at least showed up. – Cheers – And hopefully, you show
up, you show up, you show up. – I did it. – And sometime you feel
comfortable enough to man up. And maybe next week we will
have a different outcome. But thank you guys for
being here with me, I’m Theo Vonn, and
this has been Man Up.

100 thoughts on “Man Up – Man Baby – Uncensored

  1. Bobby wearing a shirt that's way too small shouldn't be funny but it is. I just realized what makes him funny is that he mocks social norms.

  2. Holy shit… this triggered so many flashbacks of the extremely similar etiquette course I took when I was a child; no wonder I'm so posh.

  3. Keep showing up, that's the largest percent of being a man, father, husband. Women should show up a little less.

  4. These dudes killed it bro ๐Ÿ˜‚โ˜ ๏ธโ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Slept King always gotta be so aggressive dude

  5. Call me next time .. says the man who admits on pod casts he doesnโ€™t respond or call back ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  6. whats up with these people eyes ?! LOL bobby is chinese so right there eye issue , than theo looks a lot of angles at the same time and she has the most jointed eyes i've ever seen in a person !! what the hell ! LOL

  7. I'm assuming that this is mostly realistic and not a fiction. And if my assumption is correct, Bobby Lee is a POS. Immature little baby. No idea why this insanely gorgeous woman is with him.

    Actually, I take that back. I know exactly why she's with him. Because she thinks that she can change him. You cannot change people. Only they can decide to change.

  8. His dress sense is just not present!! Like that blue shirt he wears at dinner where we can see his fat bulge out on the side and WHY DOESNT IT COVER HIS LOWER BACK?

  9. Peeing in bottles is a legit Korean thing. Pressing pause and getting up to go to the bathroom kills the emersion of video games. I do screw on the top though.

  10. Has Theo ever done an episode with Ari Shaffir? I would love to see him hijack Ari and teach him that he doesn't have to be an irredeemable asshole. Teach him how to be a decent human being. And then at the end of the episode, Theo and Bobby could beat Ari almost to death and break every bone in his body and leave him in a hospital in Bosnia for 5 years.

  11. Fucking babyboomer producers at comedy central thinks somehow we'll take their filming more seriously if they slowly pan or make forced camera shakes.

  12. Khalyla this shit is so dumb, i'm sorry and i love you but it's the truth. you know exactly what you're getting yourself into when it comes to Bobby and in order to have the silly goofy awesomely fun relationship you have you are going to need to accept the negative aspects of his personality as well, and YOU KNOW THIS!!

    either accept him or move on because changing him will destroy him and your relationship is going to wind up in shambles anyway. don't ruin a good thing, you're better than that and you know it. let this shit go and let Bobby be Bobby. we all thank you.

  13. The fact that he acts like an animal it's not surprising when someone enables him to be. What is surprising is that she appears to be a human and yet she hangs out with this trash

  14. I fucking love this! Even though.. Bobby you look like a retired overweight Jackie Chan, and Theo you look like the straight up cajun Chris Hansen bro! Wtf is going on right now! Dont touch me bro! #butkeeptouchinme

  15. Bobby lee is super underrated hes one of the funniest people ever I wish he had more publicity and exposure hes funny as hell

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