Laughter is the Best Medicine

Meat Market - Comedy short

it's an undeniable truth every human being young or old desires at the very core to be loved and accepted and to be wanted sure you've got someone who try and deny it saying they're fine being alone but they're liars do I want to be alone hell no but I'm also not gonna settle I'm looking for someone who has character and depth and I know she's out there that's we bar on the way home after 60 hour work week just waiting until I get the call from my friend mr. predictable Anthony telling me about the latest club we just have to hit tonight but listen kid tonight I take the stand I've been there I've done that I've seen the strings of the circus and it's just not my game anymore no I'm tired well I bought you a coffee to take care of that no I'm not Anthony I'm spent I just don't have it in me to go to a bar tonight listen Martha you need this besides it's gonna be fun and somebody else has got to see your junk besides your rosy palm whatever the last thing I want to do is go to a meat market to watch you strike out with every girl okay it's every other girl and you're going brandy Matson oh my god we're gonna pull some major roll tonight pick navigator are you huh are you at a Chucky Cheese or something um no not a Chucky Cheese hey mil Steve loved to write unreal you're somebody's hero that's for sure yes now pick me up at 10:00 because if I find out that you go home instead and watch pretty in pink I will beat your ass I will I will beat your ass all right here's the deal I will meet you there at 10:00 I'm not waiting around for you to try to pick up every last oh in the bar and leave me with a bill again if I want to bail I'm going to that's the only way I'm going out tonight perfect I'll see you at the teardrop at 10:00 wear something sexy you're an idiot Anthony Tony John I hate you I'm pathetic nice joint I like every other place serving up spirits and potential hookups it's filled with your typical cliches Oh fine they want me to talk to you the drunk check Gita this war of course you can't have a bar without hot older women trying to avoid their age I would like to dig my claws into that did she just say bukkake oh my god okay let's get this over with listen Victor I'm not interested in anything you're selling you have a better chance of getting it with that chair than you do with me wait till later on tonight hey what do you have seven and seven looks like we've got a sausage fest going on in the corner there and something has their attention gee I wonder what that could be there's always at least that one gal that's surrounded by a horde of guys all hoping to get lucky with her or at least stand close enough to fantasize about it now the GAO is either a always smarter than all the guys around them and simply playing their testosterone clouded minds like a conductor at an orchestra or B it's truly dumb as dirt and has no clue the effect she's having both are equally fun to watch looks like we got a group special so nice of you boys devised these drinks yeah again oh my god Ashton we should so totally show them part of that new charity more tick international oh my god Ryan I'm getting stressed yet okay okay well she's attractive hey Sam what'll it be Jack and Coke and reason number one while you do your homework way before you ever leave the bar with somebody otherwise you could end up like my buddy Anthony wonder why your conquests left the toilet seat up and you wake up with a brown mustache Olay hi I'm Brie all right Levi do you have a thing about Ted I know what time it is Philly I mean do you want to take the time to get to know me better tonight cheese lady could you make it any more obvious I'd love to but I'm meeting my friends and then we're gonna leave oh really what kind of car is my prince leaving you ready 94 Camry seriously mmm-hmm pay for and then we have that guy everyone has an uncle or an unclaimed cousin for hell even a boss like him you having fun tonight sure hey party well someone please help me oh holy hell it's in there a weight limit at this bar what's that bitch hey honey where's Matt what Matt oh he's uh parking I'm drop me off he made him drop you off yeah you're a dick well you guys love this place it's quite the playground dude I just came from a playground endless supply of milfs hey if you want to hook up with the toothpick over here I'd be more than happy to sum a grenade for the night say the word no thanks say the word no thanks I'm not gonna force it on Thanks well fine but I need to move the herd because I don't need MooMoo here standing next to me cuz I'm fuckin hot and she's a pig excuse me ladies hello I I don't really think a bar is a good place for a pregnant woman I'm gonna be honest what I'm referring to your your unborn child that you're carrying there in your belly I think that maybe this is not the best place to find a father for your child maybe should look I swear hey dick you're an asshole really well which one is a dick or asshole and besides I wasn't talking to you slim so why don't you take your whale friend here let her have some of that meth you've been takin might help her diet this is awesome they totally liked me yeah I can tell shit would you look at this guy hey love the tan Oompa Loompa I am so horny you morning I met a little bit I'm horny enough for both of us hello do you con coke Oh got my radar hi hey Tony did you see that cheerleaders good look at this guy thinks he's all that and a bag of chips he's probably just packing a Cheeto speaking of packing this guy needs to pack his shit and move on oh that was close I thought exactly safety numbers right dude this place blows let's get out of here I was just talking that hottie over there chessmen kind of car I Drive and then said she had to go to the bathroom weird right that's weird that's weird anyways talk to Matt he texted Steve and apparently bar 14 is cracking vajayjay buffet let's go honey stop stop it we're going honey I'll catch up with you later oh I get it mom of this oh right right there yeah I get it I get it that I get it with you buddy not bad yeah what 14 huh yep mm-hmm have fun just zip your fly you wouldn't want the girls fighting over your Vienna sausage at the little buffet there shit hey whistle nuts I'll catch up with you later right whoa hello how about missed you hi I'm Sam whoa straining post-op' a Priya Priya Oh I am so incredibly sorry about him I honestly think he gets worse by the minute no worries I think we all have one of those friends I'm Levi Aaron nice to meet you I didn't want to go to a club 14 with your friends with no actually one bar is enough for tonight well actually enough for the month my friends give me a hard time because I don't go out that much but as you can see it's pretty painful when I do go my friends that's funny I know how you feel believe me my friends put me do the same actually I don't really have any friends like that that guy is like a sex addict with ADHD Wow this girl is really cool wow this guy is actually not a tool you know I I look around this place and I just wonder when is going through some of these people's minds right Aaron I don't want you to take this the wrong way but would you like to get out of here and grab a cup of coffee up to looking for any excuse to get the hell out of this place really thought you have to wait for your friends I'm supposed to but the raining late as usual I told them I was gonna leave they didn't show up on Times I hate let's go sounds good I don't care how you try to slice it these places are still meat markets but at the end of the day maybe they're the only places some of these people have a chance to find someone or if you're Anthony a lot of someone's but me finding someone other place like this well honestly I never thought I would have met an Levite who are you talking to huh oh I was just trying to tie things up for a nice little Indian ending I was thinking this may be just the beginning yeah both are equally fun to watch both both this is fuckin one word are you shitting me okay both are equally fun to watch motherfucker blah and you can't

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