Laughter is the Best Medicine

NRIs Aur Desh Bhakti | Stand-up Comedy by Punit Pania

I still remember
when I was passing out from college There was this brief period of time during which The Australian government, they pretended to care for our students And our students, they pretended to study also So half my batch left migrated, overnight, tadipaar! Sabse ghatiya student Jo kabhi dikha nahi college main teen saal 'Tu bhi jaayega chutiye?' Bolta hai, 'Haan yaar, padhai important hai!' Jo haath main aaya: MBA in Marine Biology
Theek hai! Do-do dena, parcel! Jaan ja raha hai yahaan pe… And so many people left that even I started thinking ki jaate hain kya? Apun bhi jaayega na yaar Kab tak rahega… …Kandivali main? So I thought a lot man
But it never appealed to me That lonely NRI life where you are away in some cold county abroad just counting the days… and the exchange rate You get to come home once a year during Christmas And then you pretend that it's Diwali! Waise Christmas bhi hota hai yahaan pe aaj kal, kaafi hota hai na? Kandivali main bacche aaj bhi
Santa Claus ko Jingle Bell bol rahe hain! Jingle Bell! Daddu hai ye bechaara Darbhanga se aaya tha kamaane ke liye Dekh kya haalat ho gaya hai bechaare ka Usko Nachva rahe hain hum log laal gown pehenake Ye hai tera First World… In December you go to SukhSagar restaurant All the waiters they are wearing Santa hats And they are serving Methi-Peas-Malai And just dying inside So I never liked that dual existence Coz as an NRI, you are a completely different person there There you are following all the rules Even the rules that don't exist! You are bending over backwards for the white man Haan yes Sir Sir, no Sir Sir thoda gaand pe maaro na Sir, maza aata hai hum log ko! Reng raaha hai, Chuha hai wahaan pe woh When he comes back here, yahaan pe hero hai woh Raat ko andhere main ghoom raha hai goggles daal ke chutiye ke jaisa Sab ko tip baant raha hai Waiter ko tip, Uber driver ko tip …Mere ko tip! I am like, 'Dude, I am your friend.' 'Sorry yaar woh paisa bahut jyaada ho gaya hai na mere paas!' Khaali-fukat waapis aa rahe hain Bhaav badha rahe hain Bisleri ka Yahaan pe koi hai kya koi? NRI? Ab to koi bolega bhi nahi
…do log hain Do log ka Ghar Waapsi hua hai yahaan pe Waise abhi seasaon nahi hai na
May ho gaya abhi They have a mating season Dec_Jan They are like Flamingoes Aaya – Shaadi kiya – Chala gaya… Parcel leke Wahan se forward bhej raha hai…Hingewadi waala Theek hai, if you feel
yahaan pe Hong Kong ho chuka hai… come back! Waapis aao – bharo GST yahaan pe Dekho kitna maza aata hai WiFi pe Desh Bhakti ho raha hai You guys have been great so far, are you guys having fun? You have been great but I must tell you that… The best audience in the world… Are NRIs They are the best audience man Because they are so happy all the time And they are so forgiving Woh log ek apne alag trip pe rehte hain pata hai It's a parallel Universe DC – Marvel – NRIs So much that when we perform for them We dont't even have to do… …jokes We just have to go up on stage and say B…C! – Standing Ovation! Wah! Kya bola hai! Apna aadmi hai. Wah! Desh ki Mitti! Dil jeet liya Bhai, kya maza aa gaya yaar! You don't need jokes there you don't need talent also You just need to know three words BC, Pav Bhaji, Modi!
Khatam! Naach raha hai Hi-fi de rahe hain, miss ho raha hai Uncle apna baniyaan phek raha hai stage pe Ye aadmi hai ki Maseeha hai ye Wah! Ye Aarat hai Aarat! That's it. And then all you can say is, 'Thank you for listening that's my time.' Ab itna bol diya hai to I will tell you one more thing It's not like I hate NRIs They are nice people some of them But one thing I think they need very badly …is a reality check Which is why I feel that NRI communities abroad They should also organize occasional riots Occasional, sometimes. Tereko chahiye na Desh ki Mitti? To soongh B'sdike, yahi hai Desh ki Mitti, ye hau! Baaki ka time karo muzhra, bulao Shah Rukh ko

22 thoughts on “NRIs Aur Desh Bhakti | Stand-up Comedy by Punit Pania

  1. Comment section is filled with people who never went abroad & has a view on NRI. Sab bhakchodi kar rahe hai NRI ke baare me. Yaha comment section me jo bhi hai usko abhi foreign se call aaya to kal hi uthke chale jayenge.

  2. Best thing about not being in india is people here respect boundaries, and mind their own business. I am going to miss this in India

  3. Lol, true, foreign mein rehne se desh bhakti jaag jati hai. Drfinetly miss India all the time, food, culture , fashion, & other good stuff. But then there are other things that make us find a way to just get out of there.
    Booked one way ticket to India, hope this time I won't regret my decision to stay for long. Less than month left & already sad, sare neighborhood aunties roadside uncles & aunties, all are going to make my stay a punishment again. Pata nahi kab jeene denge mujhe

  4. He just donated 2 crore for assam flood.. so how are you bro ? .. did u ever donated your 5000 for any situation?

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