Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Obstetrics | Clean Health Care Humor from Funny Doctor Brad Nieder, MD, CSP | HealthyHumorist.com


The point is–I was starting to say–I know
laughter’s not the cure-all, right? So I always like to close by giving you some
final prescriptions for living a happy, healthy life–other things that we all should do
to live a happy, healthy life. And I like to deliver these in a format that’s
a tribute to my favorite doctor–the doctor I admired most growing up, the guy who’d
be on my scrubs jersey– Dr. Seuss! Right? Dr. Seuss! The best doctor of all! And I’ve become reacquainted with Dr. Seuss
ever since becoming a dad, right? I think with my son–first child born–we
got the whole Dr. Seuss catalog as gifts. People give you gifts! I didn’t realize that! When
you have a kid, you get toys and books and clothes. People just give you money! I got checks made out to “Baby Nieder.” What was I supposed to do with that? I went to the bank. “Hi, I’m “Baby Needer.” [Laughter] They called Child Protective Services
on me. [Laughter] They did. Yeah. I think they did it deliberately, those people. “He’s never gonna be able to cash this. We’ll never part with this money.” I think that was deliberate. You know what I mean? And I remember when my wife first got pregnant
with our first, we went to that first meeting with the obstetrician. And I knew the obstetrician
from medical school. And she sat us down that first day and she
said, “Well, this is exciting! I’m so excited for you! Have you two thought about a birth plan?” And I said, “Yes, I think when it gets to
be about nine months, let’s get the kid out. How ’bout that for a plan?” [Laughter] And she just glared at me. And I said, “O.K., well, how ’bout this: Sara will
go through unbearable pain while I stock up on booze and cigars! How’s that? [Laughter] Is that a good plan?” But you do! You have to plan! You have to plan for all the new stuff that’s coming: the toys and the books and equipment for this creature that’s coming in to your life. My wife at nine months pregnant said, “Brad,
we need to get a bassinet! We need to get a bassinet!” I said, “Honey, calm down! We’re about to have a baby. This is no time to be getting a puppy, too!” [Laughter] I didn’t know what a bassinet was! I was thinking “Basset Hound”–the big-eared
dog. That would be the ear specialist in the dog-doctor
world. I didn’t know what it was. And then the day came and the obstetrician–again,
I knew her from med school–says at the last minute, “Brad, why don’t you put on a gown
and you can deliver your son!” And I said, “That wasn’t part of the plan!” But I did and she was right there, and she
helped me. And it was amazing. It was very cool … until I got the hospital
bill! And I was, like, “Wait a minute! I did that part! [Laughter] And I did that!” You wouldn’t park your own car and then go
pay the valet anyway! You know what I mean!? “Wait! What is that?! I cut the cord! I cut the umbilical cord! Conception?! I did that! Why is that even on here?” [Laughter]

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