Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Please Grade Me


(electronic whirring) (upbeat electronic instrumental music) – And that is the last of
my enemies taken care of, time to start a new list. – Hey Vic, I’m here for my yearly review. – Yeah Jess, please, take a seat. These reviews are really informal, I don’t even like to
think of them as reviews. – Oh no no please, I mean review away, I am looking forward to it, I kinda thrive on this stuff. – Well everyone’s really
happy with your work here, you’re doing great. – Okay, yeah, great! So let’s say if you
were to give doing great a letter grade, what would that be? – Okay, well our value of you is great, I think you’re great, and your work is great. – Vic, I flourish when
I am being evaluated, and a letter grade lets me know empirically what my value is. – Okay well Jess, you’re an adult, and so we rely on feedback in the world and that’s how we know how we’re doing. – Please grade me. Please grade me, just grade me. Okay, am I an A? Right, am I a B? An acceptable B, I’ll take a B, okay. A C? Oh my God, am I a so-so C? Am I a D? I’m getting a D right now? – I want you to think of this
as a pass fail system, right? And you passed. – Okay, okay. And where do I rank amongst the passing? – It’s just a pass. – Okay, I think maybe I’m not
explaining myself properly. Let me make my case right now, okay. – Yikes. – Okay so in addition to my
excellent sketch writing, I also have been like a
top notch actor this year, and I started the compost
program on the floor. In addition to all of this, I also have been putting in
some extra-curricular pursuits. – I’m sorry, extra-curricular pursuits? – Yes I make my fiancé dinner every night. – That’s not part of the job. – Yeah, that’s why it’s extra-curricular. – Okay Jess, I think all this kind of falls under the
umbrella of great work. So much so in fact that
you are getting a raise and a promotion. – Oh my God a promotion! (shrieking) Yes! Now what does that rank amongst like all of the other raises, is that an A, is that a B? – A raise and a promotion
is an objective way to show your value. – Okay so if we have a
literal number right, let’s just put it on a grade, let’s give it a grade, unless of course we’re grading on a curve, are we grading on a curve? – There is no curve. – God, that’s gonna be
really bad for Grant, what grade is he at? – Nothing. – Grant is getting an F? – No, Grant is not getting a grade. – He’s getting an incomplete? – There’s no incomplete
because I’m not a teacher and this is not a school. – Well I mean yeah, you’re no
Mrs. Wetherby that’s for sure. – That’s fine, I’m not trying to be. – You know I think when
people are tenured, like yourself, that they
start to coast on by and not really give people
the grades they deserve. – There is no tenure, all right, in fact ha, okay, I actually
just got my performance review and it went poorly. – That figures, I don’t plan
on giving you a good grade. – What do you mean? – On rankyourteacher.com. – Oh my God, you know what? You get an A. (shrieking) – Oh my God! Oh yes, straight A’s! – Yeah it literally means nothing, but you did it, congratulations. (screaming) Get out of my office. – This will surely get me voted the most likely to succeed award. (kissing) Love you! – Not if that means anything. – Hey. Mind if we reschedule this to later? I sat in yogurt, again. – You know what Grant, you get an F. – So do you. – I’m a good boss. (electronic whirring) – You want the scoop? (coughing) – I’m getting all emotional from it. (dramatic instrumental music) – Shut up! (laughing) (dramatic instrumental music) – Hey it’s Jess. If you like CollegeHumor
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she eats a cantaloupe and it gets me, it’s hot, I like it. – Oh my God, it’s hot, it’s really hot. – Sign up for a free trail today. Trial, that was a typo, I don’t have any trails to give away. I wouldn’t even know how
to go about doing that. Buy land I guess. God.

100 thoughts on “Please Grade Me

  1. Me watching CH before listening to the erotic book club podcast:
    Fun time! I love all the cast! Very funny!
    Me watching CH now:
    Jess I Love You And Would Die For You

  2. "I think you're great, your work is great" is exactly the kind of "feedback" bosses give to someone super talented and hard working who they're about to demote/lay off out of jealousy/fear

  3. This was definitely something I felt shortly after getting out of college, it took going back to grad school for me to become fed up with grades.

  4. I mean…if there's no ranking system how can you truly know if you're doing your absolute best? Life is a competition and we need to compare scores.

  5. wow, 2 ads for dropout tv, no wonder I use adblock for youtube, imagine how many dropout tv ads you'd get without
    adblocker

  6. Letters just make things easier. Forget raises and promotions. CH should also give pizza parties when all the employees do good work. That way you can pit them all against Grant.

  7. She should have been marked down to an A- for not listening well to instructions. Also, the teacher was kind of a fail for not noticing that.

  8. The reviewer does such a good job at conveying fear, concern, unease, etc and much more with just the look she gives

  9. I do not relate to this at all. I hate when supervisors evaluate me. Just tell me if I'm doing good. If not, tell my what needs fixing. You're not my fucking dad, you're my employer. I don't want to be here.

  10. I mean
    A letter grading means you know how you can improve
    Just saying 'you're really good/fine' isn't helpful. So you know. Mood. I hate pass/fail stuff in university.

  11. New cast member alert? Surprisingly good actor, managed slow burn character development with like 4 mins.

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