Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Population Control and Relatives | Standup Comedy | Malik Junaid (JD)


They say ” Karachi is a city that never sleeps!!” Me sochta tha k “Is shehar ki population itni ziada kyun he? Population bohat bara masla he yaar. Karachi ka ni. Poore mulk ka hi masla he. Aur us ki sab se bari waja ye he k, kher aik hi waja he k hum wo bohat karte hen. Shaadian Baghair kisi waja k shaadian hojati hen na is mulk main. Avaiin!! Baahir matlab aap ne filmain dekhi hongi angrezi wo… Bacha apne papa se pochta he “Dad how did you meet mom?” Wo batata he “Hum party me millay aur phir hum ne PARTY ki.” Aur phir hum 2 saal ikhatay rahe aur matlab bohat soch samajh k shadi karte hen. Aik hamara mulk he!! Mere aik uncle thay. Bari khusgawar zindagi guzaar rahe hen. Mene pocha “Uncle g kia scene he? Auntie ko jaantay tha ap kia…?” Bolte “Haan beta g.. Humm jannay wale thay.” Meri ammi aur in ki ammi kapray silwanay aik hi darzi k paas jaati thi. Shadi to banti thi matlab ab yahan pe!! Aise to shadian hoti hen hamari taraf. Aur shadio pe bhi na jis ki shadi hori hoti he us ko log compliment aise kar re hote hen. Haaann gggg. Beta ggggg… Shaaadi hogaiii!!! Chalo yaar!! “Bari khusi hui yar bari khushi hui….” Chalo yar Allah ne tumhara ghar bhi aabad kar dia he. Matlab me koi sarak pe para hun?? Ap ki ho sakti he to meri me kon sa aisa mojza hogya he? Shadi karni chai mere khayal se Kyun k masla shadi me nahi he. Masla rishtedaaron me he. Kyun k agar ap ki shadi k 5,6 mahinay baad if your wife is not pregnant. then people are gonna start coming up with stupid stuff like.. Wohi uncle aa jaen ge… “Haan gggg… Beta gggg…” ” Kesa chal ra he sab kuch?? ” ” Chal ra he na..??” And this doesn’t end here. Matlab they not only want you to have a child right after the marriage, they want you keep having babies in a regular fasion! Cousin aa jaen ge. “O yaar mujhe na, mujhe chotay bachay bohat pasand hen. ha ha ha.” Chotay bache na bohat pasand hen. Tere beta thora sa bara hogya he, “Mujhe chotay bache bohat pasand hen.” Just imagine k wo keh ra he k “Dude, you need to have a new baby cz I don’t like the old one anymore.” Matlab mene to theatre khola wa he na har haftay me naya play chalaon yahan pe Daadian (Grandmothers) bari ajeeb hoti hen. Thore sare bachon se inka dil ni bharta ” Hye!! Mere bhateejay k ghar me 4 bache hen kitna bhara bhara ghar lagta he ” Dadi Amman!! Ap k bhateejay ki shadi ko 10 saal hogae hen. Meri shadi ko 4 mahinay hue hen Matlab BV he meri koi ATM machine to ni he na jitnay dil kia nikalwa liye. Abhi 4 mahinay hue hen becharon ko let them have some good time. Pichlay 4 saal se ZONG ki late night offer pe guzara kar rahe hen wo. Kyun k yehi rishtedaar hote hen shadi se pehle larkay larki ko ikhata dekh len in ko masla hojata he. Imagine karen ap apni fiance k sath bethe hen aven koi phupo tapak paren gi beech me. Kia baaten hori hen? Kia baaten hori hen? Kia baaten hori hen? Ap ko ni pata larkay larki me aapas pe kia baaten hoti hen? Petrol ki prices gir gai he wo discuss hora he. Abay yaar. Matlab ghar me beth k baaten kar rahe hen karne do matlab zaroori he Mazar-e-Quaid jaen Population me na sab se bara kirdaar ye Ghareeb logon ka he. Amount of money you have is inversly proportional to the number of children. Aik faqeer magne wala aa gya. “Bhai sab meri madad kar do bhai saab mere 7 bachay hen.” Me bola Mere kia Qasoor he? Banda reason deta he na “Mere gurday fail hogae hen.” Accident hua he meri taangen toot gai hen ya beenai chali gai he. Ni… “Mere se bache ziada peda hogae hen meri madad karen.” Matlab entertainment teri hori he aur ticket k pese me dunn. Signal tu toray aur chalan mera hojae!! Kunday to lagae aur bijli ka bill mera ziada aae. Tu faqeer he ya siasat daan he tu?

100 thoughts on “Population Control and Relatives | Standup Comedy | Malik Junaid (JD)

  1. Bro u made believe that Pakistan has better and right future in good stand up comedy.. superb. . Keep up ur good work..

  2. You are really talented, the control of the pace of the dialogue is amazing, love from Morocco, Casablanca 😉

  3. Masla bilkul rishtedaro me he, kyuki shaadi vhi to krwate he baar baar pooch ke " kya hua abi tak shaadi nhi ki? Koi mila nhi kya? Koi passnd he kya? Hadd he 😁….

  4. India mein bhi Bola jata hai , Bachche to Bhagwan/Allah ki den hain 😂😂, Jaise BC humne too kuchh Kiya hi Nahi 😝

  5. Mujhe nahi pta tha ki Pakistan me b is tarah k shows ho sakte. I was like Pakistan is very strict in religious issues. so shows like this might b haram..but ur video changed my view.

  6. बहुत ही ज्यादा अच्छा सर जी

  7. I subscribe your chanel rmembr mee when you reached insha Allah milion subscriber then i coment tht I subscribe you on 9000 subriber😊

  8. जबरदस्त भ्राता जी,,,,,ओ३म् जी,,,,,, पुरे पाकिस्तान में आपके जैसा कोई नहीं 👍👍👍👍👍आओ जी हमारे भारत में भी

  9. Seriously bro, sahi khel gaya pure video me aisa nai laga ki pakistani standup routine coz its desi and all people from India can relate😂😂

  10. Did anyone notice the 2nd girl from left at his back at 2:22 she was drinking water and suddenly……😀😀😀😂

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