Laughter is the Best Medicine

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Step Back & Harvey Weinstein Texts in Court | The Daily Show

Being a member
of the royal family has always been one of
the sweetest gigs you can have. You get an unlimited budget
for hats, there’s always free crumpets
in the breakroom and, let’s be honest,
most of your job is just waving. But now two royal family members are turning in
their two-week notice. There was a rather stunning
announcement today from the across the pond. Prince Harry
and wife Meghan Markle say they’re stepping away as senior members
of the royal family. They announced it on Instagram, and, boy, social media
is blowing up over it. The couple
made that announcement saying they will split
their time between the U.K.
and North America, and they will work to become
financially independent. Whoa! Whoa! This is huge. Harry and Meghan
are leaving the palace to become
financially independent. And, you see, you see,
this is what happens when you bring
the first black woman into the royal family. Yeah. Yeah. She looked at Harry,
and she was like, “Nigga, you need to get a job. “You need a job. “You a grown-ass man. You can’t still be living
in your mama’s house, Harry.” (laughter) What’s funny is that no matter
what job Prince Harry gets, you realize he’s still gonna be
Prince Harry, right? Can you imagine being his boss
when he screws up? Like, what do you call him in
and say? “Prince Harry, get in here,
Your Majesty! “You blew the Henderson account,
my lord. Clean out your desk,
and may God save the queen!” Now, the big question is if Harry and Meghan
come to America, where are they gonna live?
Everyone wants to know. I think they’ll move to L.A.
because Meghan’s an actor. Right? And then
she’s gonna want to work again. And then Harry
can just join the cast of Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills. Yeah. Just be, like, fighting on TV. “I know you what said about me,
Denise. Say it to my face.” All right, moving on
to the opposite of royalty. Harvey Weinstein,
disgraced Hollywood producer and man who’s somehow uglier
on the inside. His sexual assault trial
has just begun here in New York, and Harvey is already
on the judge’s bad side. Jury selection
in Harvey Weinstein’s sexual assault trial
resumes today after some drama in court. The judge threatened to revoke the Hollywood producer’s bail
Tuesday because he kept using
his phone in court. The judge said,
“Is this really the way you want to end up in jail?
By texting?” Weinstein’s team
calls it a misunderstanding. Yeah, Harvey Weinstein
got into trouble yesterday because he kept pulling
his phone out in court. Yeah. Because apparently, he can’t
keep anything in his pants. (laughter) I actually feel bad
for the judge in the situation, because you have
to uphold the law but then also be
a middle school teacher. You know, it’s just like,
“Are you texting? “Give me your phone.
You spit out your gum. “And damn it, I told you
to stop jerking off, Harvey. -Come on!”
-(laughter and applause) I will tell you, this is how you know
phones are addictive, though. This guy’s on trial
for his life, and he’s sitting
in that courtroom like, “I could go to prison forever. “Yeah. Oh. “I wonder what Disney character
I am. Let’s see. Oh, Ursula.
I should have known.” And finally, what would you do if you were walking
down the street and heard someone screaming
for help? Well, don’t rush
to call the cops, because it may not be
what you think. NEWSWOMAN: The concerned
neighbor in Florida called 911 after hearing someone
screaming, “Let me out.” Turns out, the cries
were from a pet parrot. (screaming) The parrot’s owner
says sheriff’s deputies pulled up to his house
after getting the call. He explained that the culprit was his 40-year-old parrot
named Rambo. When he showed them the parrot, he says
they burst out laughing. The owner says that he taught
Rambo to say, “Let me out” -when he was a kid.
-(squawks) Okay. Okay, hold on.
So, this dude says he taught his parrot to scream,
“Let me out,” and the cops just accepted that? You guys don’t want to look
in the house just in case? ‘Cause that bird
might have picked it up from someone else,
if you know what I mean. Yeah, the parrot’s like…
(squawks) “Let me out.” Like… (chuckles)
“I taught him how to say that.” “I’m in the basement.” “Oh, you see, it’s not what…” “I was kidnapped
by a man with a parrot.” (squawks) (laughter) Although,
wouldn’t it be a funny twist if the cops arrested that guy, but it turns out that the parrot
was just framing him so that it could have the house
to itself? Yeah. Now the owner’s in prison, and the bird is throwing
all-night parties. Just hanging out with women.
You know, just like… (squawks)
“Hello, ladies.” It’s like, “Wow, I’ve never met
a parrot that owns a house.” (squawks) “That’s right.
I’m like Harry. I’ve got my own crib.”

100 thoughts on “Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Step Back & Harvey Weinstein Texts in Court | The Daily Show

  1. Oh Trevor you make my day. I laugh out loud every time I watch him. His comedy about Meghan and prince Harry was hilarious.

  2. Who else is pissed 😤 about this 2 week notice!
    Check us out prize giveaways once we reach 1k Don’t hesitate to SUBSCRIBE! We are rapidly Growing Because of our Couple Friendly Content! Don’t js take my word for it see for yourself!

  3. Lmao, my kids asked me why I like to watch your channel? Our kids whom also starting their own mukbang channel (#pandaseat, hopefully got enough love & supports to build their college fund) that I like your vids cuz u make me laugh so hard all the time.

  4. This Daily Show was actually hilarious except Harvey Weinstein would not be checking what Disney character he is. Remember Walt Disney was an anti-Semite and Jews don’t watch Disney. The whole uglier on the inside was killer lol. As far as that parrot, they should seriously investigate that guy and make sure he’s not an Ariel Castro.

  5. When he isn’t political, he is actually funny. Huh, when anyone isn’t political, they are pretty funny. Hmmm, when everything isn’t political, everything is pretty funny. Whoa..

  6. Harry has ties with Epstein. Hence, to get out of that association, he's stepping down. I love it how news channels give a positive turn to a story just because they love Megan and Harry. Media creates Mary Sues than Disney movies.

  7. Trevor, I love you, but the,"You can't still be living in your mama's house, Harry!" line was a bit far.
    Prince Harry's mother is Princess Diana. She died in a car crash when he was twelve.
    It would be his grandmother's house, not his mother's.

  8. All connected sexual assault Weinstein and the Royal Family good for you separating and stepping down from the known pedophile royal family

  9. Trevor really thinks he's funny. If they didn't have the sign telling you when to laugh, you could hear a pin drop.

  10. there is a court case where they wanted to bring in the parrot cause the parrot repeated the last thing the victim said. "Dont fucking shoot me!" its a crazy case

  11. Remember NEDA! Murdered by Iranian leaders 6/20/2009! On Obama's watch! Obama rewarded the leaders with billions of dollars! Another reason to hate Obama!

  12. ole Harvey had to hire back his makeup artist from past movies to make him from an elderly man in descent shape to an incapacitated guy with a walker dying from the very rarely disease called "I don't want to go to prison syndrome" men in his situation find themselves in

  13. Honestly the daily show use to be good.
    Trevor Noah has no ability to self deprecate.
    He seems totally unaware of the ridiculous nature of the show.

  14. I’m glad he’s finally talking about real criminals! I wish he would stop drooling over Trump…shit is getting old

  15. Lies lies, UK gona give em all tahy need, tax payrs pay for it, you realy think you see one of them work in Macdonalds,

  16. Financially independent = being a royal wasn’t for her (she probably wanted to work and use social media, comment etc) and they felt ostracized because the “modernization” of the royal family didn’t work

  17. I didn’t watch this video. I just want to mention that I searched for most trending things on the internet. I’m not saying this isn’t important or interesting. But what I am saying is if u care about the planet and ur future this shouldn’t be ur most important video this planet watches. Get out there and search more world news. Please.

  18. Prisons areto be emptied 20 yr or more time 3 × loosers are to be deported in groups establishing the kinfdom of god n the world . Africa . .

  19. Australia BURNS 🔥 and #MEggXit QUITS ROYAL Duties !!!
    How all happily smilingly sincere!

    #MEggXit focused on routing Kate on her bday, #NoLoveForKoalas. 🐨💚👀

    She's so busy with her PR FLUFF image and next #InScam. "I AM SUCH A FRAUD!"

    Predictable … cop out
    Careful… WILL GRIFT MONEY OFF FOR AUSTRALIA TRAGEDY thru her foundations.

    #MEggsyCapone #MEggXit #DirtiedHarry

  20. Job job job why arnt u in the system yet.. Here's a black entertainer to appeal to u modern plebs and make the plebs with jobs go ha ha truth

  21. Them people dont want that empty phoney life…
    It is bondage, there is something better than money and phonie bull shit from some old busybody bitty…
    Good luck kids, the true God loves you…
    And this loud mouth clown who thinks he is funny is a damned pervert….ha

    😃😃😃😃☝☝☝😚💕💓💕💓 show some love please 🙏and be blessed in Jesus name

    😃😃😃😃☝☝☝😚💕💓💕💓 show some love please 🙏and be blessed in Jesus name

  24. They shouldn’t have announced it on the African trip over shadowing the issue of the continent. Why should the Duke join Housewives? Emasculating him? Not middle school teacher these days— any college teacher. ☹️

  25. If they would give up the prince title and live without getting any benefit from the loyal family as a ordinary person, then I will respect them, but just give up the loyal funding which just 5% of their income from the loyal family and 95% still depending on from the family ( title, estates, etc ) that’s not call finance independent.)

  26. Harry just had his first born. the royals ritual is to blood sacrifice the first born.. my guess is he didnt wanna take part in that.

  27. stepping down is easy but honestly whats the long term game here
    have they though about their grand children and their great grand children

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