Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Rahm Emanuel, Resistance Hero │ Monkey Wrench Comedy │ Means TV


[Arish Singh] I’d like to bring out someone
from the mayor’s office to help us celebrate one of our own
Resistance heroes. [applause] [Dan Davis] Thank you so much. I’m from the
mayor’s office representing the Democrats, hashtag #Resistance. Love what you
guys are doing with the Resistance. The beautiful thing about the Resistance is
that it’s very inclusive. It includes men and women of all different
shapes and sizes, includes hedge fund managers, war criminals, and of
course the city of Chicago. And we’ve got some big news for everybody here. I don’t know if you guys heard
about this but Chicago is officially Trump-free. Rahm Emanuel said so, so
that… it’s true. That’s right. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Real quick disclaimer in order for me to move forward, talking about Chicago’s efforts
efforts to be a Trump-free city — when I’m going through this presentation just
kind of forget about these things — you gotta forget about the big-ass building
with Trump’s name on it. Also you gotta please forget about how one of Chicago’s
alderman is helping Trump get tax breaks on the empty storefront on his building. Also please don’t think about Rahm Emanuel working with Donald Trump’s Secretary of Education
to privatize schools. Just forget about all that for a second. Other than that, Chicago’s a Trump-free zone, right? That’s right. There’s no fuckin’ Drumpf here. Also appointed a new taxpayer-funded Office of the Resistance, we got a new CEO, none other than disgraced former CPS CEO
Forrest Claypool. So he makes $125,000 a year in
taxpayer-funded money but that’s just the price you gotta pay to #Resist. This is another really good one too. So Rahm, he took it a step further than any other city. He added Donald Trump to the Chicago
Police gang database, which is arguably kind of fucked up and probably illegal but it means that anytime Donald Trump comes to
Chicago he could be harassed and arrested by the police for no other
reason than the fact that he’s on this arbitrary list. We’re talking about
public/private partnerships here. We’re talking about market-based solutions to
complex problems. [cheering] This is how we #Resist. And while Drump is talking shit about
our beloved FBI on Twitter, Robert Mueller, ever heard of him? Yeah
Rahm is backing the badge. He tweeted this out: Thank you to our big boys in
blue, the FBI protecting us from Pres. Cheeto, never doing anything bad or
fucked up ever, amen. [cheering] That’s how you do it. That’s what a real mayor does. Every real Resistance person knows that Trump owes a buncha money to Russia, right? So what is he doing? Rahm
is making the CTA more expensive to ride! So if Trump has no money and
he has to take the CTA, well, it’s gonna be more expensive for him now and he might not be able to do it. That’s right, no rides for Chump. Yeah, so, Chicago, listen up, right? This is what the face of the resistance looks like, okay? That’s it. Right there. So let’s forget about Rahm giving tax
breaks to the wealthy, let’s just gloss over all that, just forget about that and the fact that he made millions of dollars working on Wall Street profiting off the same financial system that destroyed the global economy
and that he’s part of a corrupt political machine that has decimated our
city, our state and our country. Just forget about all that stuff and #Resist Trump, alright? Just don’t think about that other stuff. Thank you so much, let’s
give one more shoutout to Rahm Emanuel, our king of Resistance. Thank you so much.
Hashtag #Resist.

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