Laughter is the Best Medicine

Robert De Niro Doesn’t Know What the F**k He’s Doing Here – Roast of Alec Baldwin

I know. I know. [laughter] What the fuck am I doing here? This is like that
Moscow hotel room where a bunch of whores
pissed all over Donald Trump. I mean, this is what you get
for being Alec’s friend. On nights like these,
you expect your friends– the people you’ve worked
with closely–to show up. Tina Fey,
Tracy Morgan, Thomas the Tank Engine,
Meryl Streep. Not one. Instead we have a group–
[laughs] You can’t even find them on,
uh, Wikipedia. [laughs] And–and, like,
who are these people? I mean, who the fuck are you? [laughter] I mean, Ann Coulter, everybody. [laughter] [cheers and applause] Nikki is what’s known
as a dirty comedian, and I don’t mean her material. I mean she hasn’t washed
her pussy since Memorial Day. Caroline Rhea. Caroline. Caroline did over 160 episodes
of “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” That’s a lot of teenagers. Not R. Kelly numbers,
but still. Pretty impressive. Sean Hayes.
Where’s Sean Hayes? Over here.
[laughs] I was in “Goodfellas,” and I’m guessing Sean has also
been in good fellas… uh, and some bad fellas and more than a few sailors,
I’m sure. Caitlyn Jenner. Now, there’s something
different about you, but I–I can’t I can’t put
my finger in it. – Yes, you can!
– [laughs] – Yes, you can! – [laughs] Comedy Central wanted
to have Caitlyn on a roast after her surgery so now
they can pay her 20% less. When I did “Raging Bull,”
I had to gain 60 pounds in four months.
Jeff, what’s your excuse? [laughs] Ken Jeong once stopped
his stand-up show to help a woman in the audience
who was having a seizure. Hey, if a seizure is what
it takes to stop him from doing stand-up,
I’m for that. – [laughs]

100 thoughts on “Robert De Niro Doesn’t Know What the F**k He’s Doing Here – Roast of Alec Baldwin

  1. Not even gonna lie when I saw Bob on the ticket
    I asked myself the very same thing. "Like what are you doing there?! You're actually respected. Just how bad is that divorce?! You don't need this. " This man is a legend to legends.

  2. Off the top of my head I can't even remember deniro and arec Baldwin being in any movies together. But I'm sure if I imdb Google that shit several has to come up

  3. Top 100 of all time actors without a doubt. He knows his type cast and he can joke about it that's fucking amazing though the fact that he enjoys the work and you have someone that can play in the sam L Jackson vs. H Ford way makes his job cake. As a young stand up comedian I gotta put all the bullshit to rest. So OK here goes, yep when you agree to stay over we think that means fick at out place. Yep, it's penis talking excuse the point, if you would

  4. Deniro is correct through his humor about the people at the roast. They just pick a bunch of stupid Celebrities who attract headlines, rather than friends and good comedians.

  5. Robert deniro is such a piece of shit now! His tds is so bad he can’t go a sec on television without talking about trump it’s insane. He needs serious psychiatric help

  6. None of these parasitic organisms give a flying crap about any of us, they think and know most are idiots who can't make a critical decision or thought, I would not follow any of these people, demonic entities lying to one another you can keep it

  7. I've had a crush on Robert for 4 decades. He's intelligent and a damned fine actor. "Sean has also been in Goodfellas" made me roar!

  8. “What the fuck am I doing here? Who the fuck are these people?” I imagine this is the inner monologue that runs through Bobby’s mind every time he’s shown up on a movie set over the last 20 years.

  9. I love De Niro, but this is sad to see..he never does gigs like this..he must need the money. Not hating at all. He did good.

  10. This roast was barely a toast. Weakest burns I’ve ever heard. It was like everyone was worried about offended everyone. And somebody should have kicked Robert DeNiro in his smug mouth. They better thank Christ Greg Giraldo is dead. And where did fat hilarious pig face Lisa Lump of Jelly go? She was ruthless. I hate 2019 so much.

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