Laughter is the Best Medicine

Rodney Dangerfield’s Funniest Car Jokes

– My wife just got her license to drive. And I’ll tell ya, since
my wife is driving, she now has two men in her life, me and a body and fender man. (audience laughs) I’ll tell ya, my wife isn’t too smart. You know, one night she went out. Some guy stole the car. I said, “Did you see what he looked like?” She told me she got the
license plate number. (audience laughs) Oh, my wife. One night she told me she felt romantic. I took her to a drive-in movie. I spent the whole night trying to find out what car she was in. (audience laughs) This afternoon my wife
cracked up the car again. I was out driving her. She told me she was gonna make a U-turn. I’ll tell ya, the letter she made (audience laughs) you’ll never find in the alphabet. I tell ya what, my wife,
when she’s behind the wheel, it’s always something, you know. The last time I was out
with her, I saw one guy, he gave her a good piece of his mind. It was right after she took
a good piece of his leg. (audience laughs) I’ll tell ya, I always wondered
how my wife got her license the first time she took the test. I found out the instructor said he wouldn’t go through that again. (audience laughs) They say when you’re driving, you know, watch out for the other guy. I’ll tell ya, when my wife is driving, you don’t have to worry
about the other guy. I mean, she’ll get him. (audience laughs) The last time my wife drove
the car, she cracked it up. Went into a tree. She told me it wasn’t her fault. She blew the horn. (audience laughs) When my wife took her
driver’s test, she was happy. She got 18 out of 20. Yeah, two guys jumped out of the way. (audience laughs) All right, you’re all right there. Thank you very much.

31 thoughts on “Rodney Dangerfield’s Funniest Car Jokes

  1. My wife told me the car wouldn't start, she thinks there's water in the carburator. I said "where's the car at?" She said "in the lake".

  2. I can only imagine all the feminist pieces of trash if Rodney was still making jokes now!!!

    Today it wouldn't be allowed because wife jokes would be considered to be sexist by these fat ugly left wing pieces of shit feminist assholes!!!

  3. I loved his joke a wife And A Car Are Alot Alike Whenever You Need It On A Cold Morning It Won't Turn Over!

  4. One of my favorites was "I just bought a used car. I looked in the back seat and found one of my wife's old dresses in it." 🙂

  5. My wife told me to take out the garbage. I said, "you cooked it,you take it out. Rodney was a guaranteed laugh.

  6. I recently had surgery and my doctor asked me if I needed painkillers.
    I told him no
    I just watch Rodney Dangerfield
    he's the greatest painkiller of all!
    Unquestionably the greatest comedian that ever lived.
    L.Russell Brown

  7. "Just ONCE, I would like to go out for a nice family drive without somebody pointing at one of my tires"

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