Laughter is the Best Medicine

Rodney Dangerfield’s Top 10 Doctor Jokes

– Well, I was talking to my doctor. You know my doctor, Dr Vinnie Boombatz. You know my doctor, Oh, yeah. No kidding.
– (audience laughing) Well, he told me last week in his office, he got six cases of VD. I mean, he's all right now, you know. (audience laughing) Now, my doctor, he don't help either. He told me to run five
miles a day for two weeks. I called him up, I said, Doc,
I'm 70 miles from my house. (audience laughing) I'll tell you about trouble,
I got the wrong doctor. You know my doctor, Dr Vinnie Boombatz. You know my doctor…
– (audience cheering) What a doctor, are you kidding? What a doctor, I called him
up, I told him I had diarrhea. He put me on hold.
– (audience laughing) Oh, he's a strange doctor. Oh, very, you kidding?
– A strange doctor. I asked him if my heart
was strong enough for sex. He told me, not if I join in, you know? (audience laughing) I'll tell you my trouble,
I got the wrong doctor. You know my doctor, Dr Vinnie Boombatz. You know my doctor,
– (audience cheering) What a doctor…
– (audience cheering) What a doctor…
– (audience cheering) Why I called him last week, I told him, Doc, I swallowed a
bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few
drinks and get some rest. (audience laughing) – Life's not easy
– Not easy. You can't trust
– Not easy! doctors either, they're all mixed up. Are you kidding?
– You really think so, huh? – My proctologist used
to be a photographer. – Yeah?
– (audience laughing) – Yeah, he took x-rays, told
me to bend over and say cheese. I mean, I don't…
(audience lauging) Oh, one time I saw him,
he gave me sleeping pills. He told me to take 'em whenever I wake up. (audience laughing) Well, you know my doctor.
Dr Vinnie Boombatz. Know my doctor?
– (audience laughing) If I gotta will ya, what a doctor. He's really mixed up, he
grabbed my knee and told me to cough and hit me in
the balls with a hammer. (audience laughing) You know when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself. (audience laughing) I tell ya my problem is,
Johnny, I drink too much. Way too much.
– Yeah. – I gave my doctor a urine specimen, there was an olive in it. (audience laughing) And my friend, Dr Vinnie Boombatz, he's not mixed up.
– Vinnie Boombatz, how is he? Oh, he's okay, he's fine. – [Johnny] How is the good doctor? – He's not mixed up at all, he knows what he's doing every minute. You know, he's busy,
busy, writing, writing. You know he's writing.
– Is he doing some new book, Oh, a new book.
– is he? Just came out, a big book, Johnny. A love story.
– A love story. – All about a girl who had a
wild romance with an architect. – [Johnny] Uh huh, What's it called? – The book's entitled, She Fell
in Love with His High-rise. (audience laughing) Too deep, too deep, anyway.
– Too deep. (audience laughing)

29 thoughts on “Rodney Dangerfield’s Top 10 Doctor Jokes

  1. I'm sure he was great during his era. But this just doesn't hold up anymore. Hey, who knows. Maybe the great comedians we got in 2019 also won't hold up in 10 to 20 years time. Most of these jokes are pretty generic now, heard different versions of them already.

  2. my doctor told me i have only 6 months to live… i said "i'll never even be able to pay the doctor bill in 6 months"…he gave me another 6 months

  3. "Doc said he needed a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample. Do I left my underwear and I went home."

  4. Two sexual jokes within a second of each other, Golden!!!

    She fell in love with his high rise….too deep, too deep 👌🏼😂

  5. My doctor gave me six months to live. I couldn't pay the bill so he gave me another six months!

    When I was born the doctors did all they could but I pulled through anyway!

  6. in a world where up-and-coming celebrities are being called "the next michael jackson" or "the next freddie mercury" or "the next mitch hedberg" i'm fucking ECSTATIC i have never heard someone say "the next Rodney Dangerfield"

  7. Number 1 Rodney Dangerfield….2 Jim Gaffigan….3 Brian Regan….4 Rita Rudner….5 Paula Poundstone….number 6 Me

  8. Doc, every morning when I wake up I look in the mirror and throw up. What's wrong with me?
    I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

  9. One of his best subjects, and each description funnier then the one before. Thanks Doc. you gave a great man a lot of material. By the way, you still practice?

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