Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Samuel L. Jackson Acts Out His Film Career w/ James Corden


THIS EVENING’S ROLE QUAWL WILL
BE A CELEBRATION OF THE FILM CAREER OF THE ONE, THE ONLY
SAMUEL L. JACKSONMENT (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HOW ARE YOU, SAM, YOU GOOD?>>YEAH.>>James: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE. NOW SAM, YOU HAVE BEEN IN, IT
SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN IN A LOT OF FILMS. HOW MANY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU
HAVE BEEN IN?>>A LOT.>>James: IT’S A FEW. DO YOU THINK WE WOULD BE ABLE TO
RE-CREATE SOME OF THOSE MOVIES RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?>>I DON’T SEE WHY NOT.>>James: ALL RIGHT. THEN LET’S DO THIS.>>THE PATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS MAN
IS BESET ON ALL SIDES OF THE INEQUITIES OF THE SELFISH AND
TIRN KNEE OF EVIL MEN. BLEZED IS HE WHO IN THE NAME OF
CHARITY AND GOOD WILL SHEP ERDS THE WEAK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF
DARKNESS FOR HE IS TRULY HIS BROTHER’S KEEPER AND THE FINDER
OF LOST CHILDREN. AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE
WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND ANGER THOSE WHO ATTEMPT TO POISON AND
DES THROI PIE BROTHER. AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE
LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON YOU. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).>>James: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
CALL A QUARTER POUNDER WITH CHEESE IN PARIS?>>THEY DON’T WALL CALL IT A
QUARTER POUNDER OF CHEESE.>>NO, MAN, THEY GOT THE METRIC
SYSTEM, THEY WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT THE [BLEEP] A QUARTER POUND
CERTIFICATE.>>WHAT DO THEY CALL IT.>>James: THEY CALL IT A
ROYALLE WITH CHEESE.>>OH YEAH ROYALLE WITH CHEESE.>>YOU GOING TO TELL ME THE
REASON YOU LOST EVERY [BLEEP] CENT I GOT IN THIS WORLD.>>James: HEY, HEY, MAN, YOU
BETTER [BLEEP] BACK OFF, MAN.>>AH LAM [BLEEP] HAPPENED TO
YOU, MAN? YOUR ASS USED TO BE BEAUTIFUL.>>WHAT’S MY NAME? WHAT IS MY NAME! WHAT IS MY NAME! SAY IT. YOU DAMN RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE? IT’S LIKE THOSE OLD MOVIES WE
BOTH LOVE. NOW I’M GOING TO TELL YOU MY
WHOLE PLAN AND I’M GO TOLLING COME UP WITH SOME ABSURD AND
CONVOLUTED WAY TO KILL AND YOU WILL FIND AN EQUALLY CONVOLUTED
WAY TO ESCAPE.>>James: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.>>WELL, THIS AIN’T THAT KIND OF
MOVIE.>>James: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
LOOK, LOOK, DON’T MAKE– LOOK, ROMAN, DON’T MAKE THESE– THINGS
WORSE THANS THEY ALREADY ARE, JUST PUT THE GUN DOWN.>>I WANT SOME ANSWERS.>>James: I DON’T HAVE ANY
ANSWERS.>>OH, YOU DON’T 2350E8 LIKE
TALKING. WELL, WE’RE GOING TO STAY HERE
UNTIL YOU DO. CUZ I’M NOT GOING TO JAIL TODAY.>>James: YOU’RE ALWAYS
[BLEEP] LATE, YOU’LL BE LATE FOR YOUR OWN FUNERAL, BAM.>>BOOM. EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND DO LIKE I
SAY.>>James: IT WOULD BE WISE FOR
YOU TO PUT THE WEAPON DOWN.>>WHO THE [BLEEP] IS THIS
[BLEEP].>>SO WHAT’S IT GOING TO BE
TRIPLE X.>>James: HOLD UP. PEOPLE WOULD SAY KISS MY ASS
SCAR FACE, FAMILY.>>THAT’S YOUR– VIN DIESEL.>>James: YES, THAT’S MY VIN
DIESEL, FAMILY, FAMILY, IT’S GOOD, RIGHT? RIGHT? FAMILY. FAMILY.>>WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?>>THEY CALL ME MR. GLASS.>>James: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
LISTEN, LOOK, LOOK, JUST CHILL OUT.>>WHY YOU KEEP CALLING ME
JESUS, DO I LOOK PUERTO RICO.>>James: THE GUYS ARE CALL
YOU JESUS.>>HE DIDN’T SAY JESS YOU, THEY
SAID HEY GLEUS, MY NAME IS ZEU S, AS IN MOUNT OLYMPIC, DON’T
[BLEEP] WITH ME OR I WILL SHOVE A LIGHTNING BOLT UP YOUR ASS,
ZEUS.>>NOW ARE YOU AWARE THAT IF
CONVICTED THEY MIGHT BE FREED IN ONLY TEN YEARS.>>YES, SIR, I HEARD PEOPLE SAY
THAT.>>WELL WA, DO YOU THINK SHOULD
HAPPEN TO THEM. WHAT WOULD BE A FAIR SENTENCE. DO YOU THINK THEY DESERVE TO
DIE?>>YES, THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND
I HOPE THEY ROT IN HELL.>>IO,IO,IO,IO– YO, YO, YO,
HOLD UP, TIME OUT, TIME OUT. Y’ALL NEED TO TAKE A CHILL. YOU NEED TO CALL THAT [BLEEP]
OUT. AND THAT’S THE DOUBLE TRUTH.>>HONEY.>>WHAT.>>WHERE IS MY SUPERSUIT.>>WHAT?>>WHERE IS MY– SUPER SUIT.>>WHY?>>I NEED IT, THE PUBLIC’S IN IN
DANGER, IT’S FOR THE GREATER GOOD.>>GREATER GOOD, I’M YOUR WIFE,
I’M THE GREATEST GOOD YOU’RE EVER GOING TO GET.>>HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTT. NOW NATURE CAN BE LETHAL. BUT IT DOESN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO
MAN. SO WE’RE NOT GOING TO FIGHT ANY
MORE. WE’RE GOING TO PULL TOGETHER AND
FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE.>>BUT WE’RE– . (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>>I TELL YOU WHAT, THIS MOVIE LOOKS INCREDIBLE, IT REALLY
DOES. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT. KONG SKULL ISLAND COMES OUT IN
THEATERS EVERYWHERE THIS FRIDAY MARCH 10th. CHEESIER PLAWS.>>THAT’S RIGHT, JAMES. KONG, SKULL ISLAND IS IN
THEATERS EVERYWHERE THIS FRIDAY MARCH 10th. GO SEE IT. I DO NOT BELIEVE THE SHIP COULD
RETURN WITHOUT US KNOWING.>>HARD TO SEE THE DARK SIDE IS.>>NO, NO, NO, YOU WILL DIE!>>I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE
MOTHER [BLEEP] SNAKES ON THIS [BLEEP] PLANE! ♪ BLACK SNAKE SELF IL. ♪ BLACK SNAKE IS ALL I AM. ♪.>>I AIN’T SCARED OF NOBODY, I
WILL LAY YOUR ASS OUT.>>I DON’T THINK SO.>>HEY, I AM SUPPOSED TO.>>I’M NOT A TEACHER. I’M YOUR NEW BASKETBALL COACH.>>WHAT?>>NOW, NOW DJANGO AND HIS
FRIEND AND GRAY HAIR DR. SCHULTZ AND OUR GUEST, YOU OLD DECEP I
HAD BAS TARD YOU ARE TO SHOW HIM EVERY HOSPITALITY, YOU
UNDERSTAND.>>YEAH, I UNDERSTAND, I DON’T
KNOW WHY.>>YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW WHY,
DID YOU UNDERSTAND.>>YEAH, I UNDERSTAND.>>WELL, VERY GOOD, THEY’RE
SPENDING THE NIGHT.>>HE GOING TO STAY IN THE BIG
HOUSE. THE BIG HOUSE? YOU GOT A LETTER FROM ABRAHAM
LINCOLN.>>YEAH.>>YOU ARE PEN PALS.>>YEAH.>>DO YOU THINK YOU WILL DO MORE
TARN TINO MOVIES.>>HELL, YEAH. — .>>WILL YOU ASK HIM TO CAST ME
IN SOG.>>HELL NO.>>AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE.>>MY WORK HERE’S DONE. ♪ SNEET DON’T YOU EVER. ♪ LEAN ON ME. ♪ WHEN TIME IS BAD. ♪ WHEN THE DAY IS TOUGH. ♪ AND YOU’RE DOWN. ♪ AND ABOUT TO DROWN. ♪ JUST HOLD ON. ♪ HOLD ON. ♪ I’M COMING. ♪ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SAMUEL
L. JACKSON, EVERYBODY. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK..

100 thoughts on “Samuel L. Jackson Acts Out His Film Career w/ James Corden

  1. "Get my lightsaber out tha bag."
    "Which one is it?"
    *as if he should know "It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker' on it!"

  2. Wow, so many movies. On of thr least favorite public person, but it takes you back somedegree somewhat when you see how many movies he done.

  3. At 9:05…that slave-face tho.  Samuel Jackson, sah,  Oh have you conjured up tha slave-face!!  Boy I can count the lashes on his back by his past-defeated super submissive totally broken down countenance.  Unbelievable and amazing work.

  4. How can you not love Samuel "Ill be in anything" Jackson. Majority of his movies are hit and his character range is crazy from Crackhead to leader of a secret organization.

  5. He still remembers all the lines from these movies while I can't even remember what my math teacher said yesterday

  6. OH DEAR SAMUEL YOU HAVE LOWERED YOURSELF TO THIS sycophantic TUB OF LARD whose talent has no beginning. Obviously he apeals to the dumb as f*k proletariat yank underclass. his fake persona and laugh is not for the UK.

  7. Wow look at all the quality movies he was in, Jurassic park, Star Wars, pulp fiction, etc.
    Not many people have a career like this.

  8. They should have done his dialouge of GTA SA- "we can shit you from such height that you will think that god himself crapped on you" that would've been oossum

  9. Coming in America when Sam rob the McDowell's, with James as Louie Anderson (i don't know if Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall did a cameo but it's could be funny)

  10. Oh MY GOD! Sam as Mace Windu and James as Yoda for the Star Trek part 1 and 2 (Bring Natalie Portman here) and Palpatine in the 3rd

  11. They should’ve done the scene from pulp fiction
    What…?
    SAY WHAT AGAIN SAY WHAT AGAIN I DARE YOU I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHAFUCKA SAY WHAT ONE MORE GOD DAMN TIME!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *