[Andrew Buckley] Michael,
is there anything you need from me? I’d like to go back to bed. [Steve Carell] Yeah, oh, just get some rest, we’ll see you Monday. Unless you’re still sick. Um… Alright, well, have a great long weekend! [Buckley] I’ll probably be just slee– (hangs up) [Rainn Wilson laughing]
– [Carell laughing] [Carell] You enjoyed that, didn’t you? [Carell] You enjoyed that, didn’t you?
– [Wilson laughing louder] [Carell laughs] [Wilson] –how old she is.
– [Carell] I am going to have kids, and I’m going to get married,
not necessarily in that order. [Wilson, interrupting] What if she’s fifty five?
– [Carell] And they’re going to live here– What? [Wilson laughs] [Carell] What?
– [Wilson] I love you– I love you Michael. [Carell] I love you, too,
what are you even talking about? [Wilson] I was just talking about– (laughing) I farted! [Wilson laughing] [Carell] Are you kidding me?
– [Wilson] I did! [Carell] Oh, my god! This is– this is my place! Okay, let’s go back to one. [Melora Hardin] Hello, Michael. [Carell] How are you?
– [Hardin] Good, how are you? [Carell] Good to see– oops, sorry. There. Mmmm… Okay, well, why don’t we just step in– What? Okay, well, why don’t we just step in– What?
– [Hardin laughs] [Carell] (laughing) Hey.
– (crew laughing) [Carell] He’d enjoy to be fired? I don’t think he would. [Wilson] Tell him…
– [Carell] …Really? [Wilson] That I am far too valuable to yo– (laughing) [laughter] [Carell] Fire who? I… I… what? What is he saying? I can’t really make it out [Carell] Fire–
– [Wilson] Quiet, you! [Carell] You know what, those are grounds–
– [Wilson laughing] [Michael scoffs, Wilson continues laughing] [Wilson] Michael. Look. At. Me. [Carell laughing] [Brian Baumgartner] Hey, Jim. [John Krasinski] Hey, what’s up? [Baumgartner] Hey, um, I know it’s last-minute, but… I was wondering– (laughing) What? [clattering] [Baumgartner] Hey.
– [Krasinski] Hey. [Baumgartner] I know it’s last-minute, but… I was wondering if it would be– (laughs) [Krasinski] (laughing) No! That was you! [Baumgartner] I was wondering if it would be cool… [Baumgartner wheezing] [Krasinski] I didn’t do anything!
– [Baumgartner] Okay, that was me. [Baumgartner] I was wondering if it would be cool… …if I brought my f– (laughs) [Krasinski] Oh, my god…
– [Baumgartner] Wait… [Krasinski] It’s casual so I’m not really
worried about numbers or anything. [Baumgartner] (breaking) Cool.
– [Krasinski] All right– [Krasinski laughs]
– [Baumgartner] (laughing) Thanks! [Carell, mouth full] Nobody even signed my birthday poster, probably that it doesn’t gonna look like me. [Wilson O.S.] It’s from last year.
– [Carell] No… [Carell] (indistinct) (laughing) [Carell] (muffled) You’re making it worse. [laughter] (Leslie Baker) [shouting] So you see, I will end up having your little butt in jail And what they will do to you, it’s nothing compared to what I’ll do to you Before you get down there. You are not to be right– He said I was dull. I’m not (Baumgartner) He said I was dull I Am hoping to find whoever committed this heinous deed And I am praying that I find this heinous culprit I will pray to Thorin I’m not only hoping to find the culprit of this heinous Crime I am not only hoping to find the culprit of this heinous crime. I am praying to find the heinous culprit I am not only hoping to find the culprit of this heinous crime. I am praying I’m not only hoping to find the culprit of this heinous crime. I am praying I am not only hoping to find the culprit of this heinous crime. I am praying to find this heinous culprit and I will write I’m sorry, it’s not Ok I can do it Excuse me no, it’s about my work situation and my living situation how they coalesce into one another because I need a living situation in order to but do my job (laughter) (laughter) I’m gonna make you proud (Laughter) Stanley Howard Bob Vance Vance refrigeration, right Vance refrigeration, it’s my dad yeah, hi When should we bring out the cake 1:00 or 1:30? One’s good 1:30 I’m sorry are we boring you. I’m not Phyllis. (laughter) I see the sales department are down there. They’re in the engine room and they are shoveling coal into the furnace right? Who saw the movie Titanic they were very important in the movie Titanic. Everyone in the engine room drowned. Okay. (Laughter) Your ass is on the line mister, so is mine. Now I’m gonna ask you again. What time did you go home last night? Um, six. Six. Of course… Something funny because you know what millions of people die every year from drug use marijuana leads to crack which leads to Crystal meth which leads to death Which leads- (Laughter) I wanna give you a nappy head because you’re Leslie. Well, that’s not your character’s name. (laughter) Where is the clitoris? If someone says next to the vagina does that mean… on the leg? (laughter) What does the female vagina look like? (laughter) Sorry. My uncle told me it looked like a sausage casing. (Laughter) I can’t work with this It’s too loud! What? Oh, we’re there anyway. (It’s too loud!) I don’t know why I did this. I don’t either- (laughter) Clearly a different character. Clearly. (laughter) It’s too loud! I can’t hear you, it’s too loud! We’re almost there. Even though this is a cul-de-sac. Missed my left Knock it off! I’m conducting this inter- No, that’s not what you said when I came in here. You said that I was conducting the interview. Now exactly how much pot did you smoke? (laughter) I Want my baby back baby back. I want my baby back baby back. I want my baby- Chili’s baby back Ribs (laughter) I want my baby back baby back baby back. I want my baby back baby back baby back. I want my- Chili’s baby back ribs. Chili’s, baby- (Laughter) Chili’s baby back ribs No, wait out the second one. Okay. (laughter) I look forward to drug testing. I used to get a runner’s high, which is why now I lift (laughter) Jen! Jen. What could I possibly bench? I have no upper body strength. I look forward to drug testing, but urinating is not something- (laughter) This is not a joke. This is not a carnival carnivaal (laughter) carnivale What? It is. Nice job, nice work. This is busiest beep beaver. I know it says busiest No, you screwed that up, didn’t you I guess we have to go back. Don’t wait. We’re wasting a lot of tape. Give me that! Okay, listen It must be really hard for you to Just you Having fun. Having a big time the Brainiacs and the dorks and athletes sluts and now Loose chicks professors everybody Okay, guys give me the ball Fine forget it forget it forget it my ball My ball babies around here. It’s like friends I’m Chandler and Joey and Pam is Rachel and dwight is kramer What happened to NBC? I mean seriously man. They’ve got like nothing desperate housewives That is a good show some hottie McDot ease on there So what are you doing for Valentine’s day? Do something Pets, I’m salesman really so mine of what I sell yarn Yarn Salesman, I Remember every hot summer morning dad driving us all over to Rocky glen swimming hole in your factory ville We would splash away until 10:00 a.m.. And then work the beet Fields till well after midnight Did we get that or no? And I was terribly depressed okay You are so little and petite, but to me you’re extras extra sweet my God You’re evil like a Hobbit Need to go through these again. I do not believe you’re engaged I do not believe it sorry Michael, it’s Jan. I guess I missed you. Guess I miss you, I guess I missed you I missed you – I missed you – I missed you, too now I can’t even see you anymore What am I saying?