Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Secular Shaadi || Standup comedy by Kishore Dayani


Ek kahani batata hoon apne baare me
Meri hui hai inter-religion marriage woh bhi 2014 ke baad
modi sarkaar ke aane ke baad to gooda dekh rahe ho mere andar
main nahi dara wara kisi se maine kar diya but dekho mere saath kya hai na ki main hoon
thoda adharmi type ka aadmi mere ko dharam varam ka utna idea hai nahi
main thoda nastik type ka aadmi hoon nahi bhagwaan kasam
main kaafi nastik type meri favorite bhagwaan hain laxmi maa
sirf unke product ka hi relevance lagta hai mere ko
jab unke product se brahma ji ke baaki employees ke product kharide jaa sakte hain
to unko tang hi kyun karna ghatao unki salary
aur mera favotire festival hai shivratri sirf usi din pocket me gaanja pakde jaane
par mere mummy papa ko mere ganjedi hone ka shaq
nahi mahadev ka bhakt hone ka yakeen ho jaata hai
laaya hoga bhole baba ke liye to my girl friend is a christian
to isi dharm ki nadaani me maine apni girlfriend ko ek din
happy good friday wish kar diya pehle to woh bahut gussa hui fir usne mere
ko samjhaya ki dekho good friday ke din jesus ne apne
praan tyaaag diye mankind ki bhalai ke liye aur fir sunday ko woh wapas aaye mankind ki
bhalaai ke liye maine kahan confuse na ho rakhe they yeh
jab wapas aana tha to gaye kyun yaar aur yeh maine dekha hai yeh ho chuka hai pehle
Friday waale episode me ACP pradyuman mar jaate hain
Aur woh sunday waale episode me full force ke saath wapas
and if this is the case why do you call it good friday
why not hopefully on sunday bahut gussa hui fir usne koi daya nahi dikhai
aur mera darwaza tod diya but us se milne se pehle na christian logo
ki image mere dimag me bilkul alag si thi courtesy bollywood and televsion
in logon ne christian logon ko hamesha bewda hi dikhaya hai
hamesha goa me guitar bajae hue dikhate hain aur hamesha aise baat karte hue dikhate hain
aye man kya kar raha hai man aye man kidar jaa raha hai man
to apne hone waale brother in law ke saath baitha tha
maine us se poocha yaar steven tum log aise baat karte ho kya
bola nahi kishore bilkul nahi hum bahut hindi bolte hain bahut saaf hindi
bolte hain accha to tu is cheez ke khilaaf awaaz kyun
nahi uthata kehta hai aye man kya karne ka man jaane de
na man fir meri girlfriend jo ab meri wife hai usne
bola ki time aa gaya hai dulhan ki vidaai ka waqt aa chuka hai
to chalo mere parents se milne maine kaha chalo
main gaya us meeting me us meeting ko 4 logon ne attend kiya
main mere father in law unka best friend yakub uncle aur mera best friend harpreet
kaafi secular meeting pehla sawaal jo mere poocha gaya woh yeh poocha
gaya ki beta gaay ke baare me tumhara kya khayal hai
maine bola gaay hamari maata hai woh bole par hum log usko khaata hai
Accha nice rhyme maine usko thoda change kiya maine bola hamari
maate hai peeche se yakub uncle bole beta hum bhi usko
khaate hain haramzaadon tum mere saath yahan mirza ghalib
ka mushaira khel rahe ho mere ko bada gussa aaya
maine bola main utha ke yahan se jaata hoon harpreet mera dost mera haath pakda neeche
bithaya bola chup ke main bhi khaata hoon
accha .. kaafi intimidating unhone mere se interview type ke questions
poochne shuru kar diye tell me something about yourself
aap kya karoge jaan ke das saal se aapki beti ke saath hoon woh janti
hai woh 5 saal pehle jis group ke saath goa gayi
thi na woh group main tha
woh kabhi kabhi kanika ke ghar rehne jaati hai
woh kanika main hoon to woh bhi bol pade accha .. humein laga kanika
ladki badi chitchor hai humein kya pata andar se kishore hai
maine kaha haan yehi hai fir kehte hain where do u see yourself in
the next 5 years maine kaha aapki property pe
kehte hain beta ab property rahi nahi partition se pehle pakistan me bahut saari property
thi maine kahan suno yeh punjabiyon ka dialouge
hai yeh tumhare upar suit bhi nahi ho raha
kehte hain haa beta 1984 se pehle to hum bhi punjabi hote they
Fir kehte hain are u a good team player main kaha isme team ka kya lena dena ..
jo khelna hai maine aur meri biwi ne khelna hai
isme team ka koi lena dena hai nahi na to yeh draupadi hai na main indrani mukherjee
ki family se hoon woh man gaye bole tu bada accha aadmi hai
meri taraf se ok do u have any questions for me
maine kaha koi question to nahi hai par ek vaada hai ki main aapki beti ko bahut khush
rakhunga kehte hain chinta is baat ki nahi hai, chinta
is baat ki hai ki tere ko khush kaun rakhega to wahan se ok mil gaya to mere father jaldi
maan gaye kyunki meri shaadi delay ho rahi to
to unhone kaha ki jis se bhi kar raha hai karne do
ab maine kari dono customs me shaadi hindu way and christian way both
dono shaadiyon me major difference jo nazar aaya
christian wedding ke end me father bolte hain you may now kiss the bride
hamara pandit aisa botla hi nahi hai usko har mantra ke baad pachas rupay chahiyen
yeh manta pacha rupay woh mantra pachas rupay wadhu ko sindoor lagaiye pachas rupay dijiye
apne apni biwi ko sindoor lagane ka paisa tere ko kyun dunga be main
aag me alag alag cheezen daalne ko bol raha hai mere ko
elaichi daalo, chaawal daalo, ghee daalo biryani banai hai yahan par
to jab father ne bola u may now kiss the bride, humne shuru kiya
hum saat din ke bhookhe they kab se is pyaasi zameen par barish ki ek boond
tak nahi padi thi humein dekh ke log scandalize ho gaye
ek aadmi kehne laga oho lagta hai inko kaafi practice hai
to tumko kya laga 10 saal se dating humne satsang karne ke liye kari hai
kuch to hai saath tab to saath me hain na is chakkar me humne KRK ki deshdrohi 4 baar
dekh li woh bhi corner wali seaton se
fir bhi kahani nahi yaad hai humein ek aunty karol bagh waali paagal ho gayi
aaye haaye kitne badtameez log hain public me hi shuru ho gaye
tum to mat hi bolo aunty tumhare 14.5 bacche ho rakhe hain
yeh tumne bluetooth se download kiye hai? poora mohalla tumko factor autny factory aunty
karke bulata hai ek vicky donor tha tum pammi receiver ho
kinnaron ne tumhare ghar ke aage work from home laga liya hai ki yahan to kabhi nachne
ka mauka mil sakta hai Ajeeb country hai na hamari .. pissing in
road is ok but kissing in public is not ok inko pata hi nahi ki public kissing se global
terrorism ruk sakta hai Jihadi aaya, bomb taana
Hain jannat to yahan bhi hai to iske liye mar ke upar kyun jaana
marna cancel cancel cancel but samajhte nahi hain log
but fir meri shaadi ka mahaul shuru hua hindu muslim sikh isaai sabhi they
harpeet ki family ke 10-12 log meri family ke 15-20 log
in laws in family ke 15-20 log aur yakub uncle ki immedeate family ke 150 log
jisme se unke 50 bete they aur 30 betiyan sab bahut amazingly matlab mil jul ke
muslim log shehnaai baja rahe they sardaar logon ne shahnaai par bhi bhangra
karna shuru kar diya hai Christian log side me khade ho karke guitar
baja rahe hain aur hindu log farmhouse me mandir banane ki
jagah dhoondh rahe hain mere papa aur mere father in law jo ek doosre
ke acche dost nahi they baad me acche dost ban gaye kyun .. kyunki
daaro peene baithey to 2-3 ghante saath me daaro piye bahar nikle
bahut acche dost ban gaye tab mere father in law bol rahe they mandir
wahin banayenge aur mere papa unko rok rahe they aye man chodh
na man kya karega man But e cheez notice karo aap log
meri shaadi ki kahani mein hindu hai muslim hai sikh hai isaai hai
par ladaai nahi hai aur yehi mere india ka asli charitra hai

100 thoughts on “Secular Shaadi || Standup comedy by Kishore Dayani

  1. Love โค๏ธ this video… M Christian m frn west bngl.. my bf is hindu vo v pandit k biradri se n from haryana.. . We love โค๏ธ echother soo mch.. Ab bs pyar toh kr lia h ab shaadi v krni h.. ๐Ÿ’•hope jaise apka hua hamara v sb acha ho๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ‘ฝ

  2. What you said is good but how about loving muslim girl .I love her insanely but we can do nothing only i have to take step she can't because of her family ….whole religion thing is fucked up …shittyyyyyyy

  3. Jo kuch bhi kaho majak majak me kissi ki bhavnao ko thess nhi pahuchani chahiye.tu to nastik hai hum to nhi hai.

  4. Nastik hona pap nhi nastikta ka parchar mahapap h

  5. Sir bahut achha composition banaya hai .
    Last me jo baat boli bahut achhi thi , lekin
    Humaare desh ka charitra ab wo nahi raha .

  6. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿป๐Ÿค๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿปโญ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

  7. You know your shit. Nice flow to your jokes.
    Keep it up and waiting for more original contents from you

  8. OMG I really don't watch a single laughter show u r amazing ur jockes OMG hilarious plz upload more n more vdo so that we able to enjoy it

  9. Jokes were good but mujhe lagta h ki thodi speed jyada thi…… thats why public bahut achcha response nhi de rhi thi

  10. Mr. Kishore, which christian does talk like that.
    just shit u were telling

    but at end hats-off to u, i never expected that

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