Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Seinfeld – The Magic Loogie, Reconstructed


Hello, Newman. I hate Keith Hernandez. Hate him!
– I despise him. Why?
– Why? I’ll tell you why. Let me tell it.
– No. You can’t tell it. You always tell it!
– Alright! Tell it! Ja ja ja – just tell it. Alright. June 14, 1987. Mets Phillies. We’re enjoying a beautiful afternoon
in the right field stands, when a crucial Hernandez error opens the door to a
five run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game. Our day was ruined. There was a lot of people. You know, they were
waiting by the players’ parking lot. Now we’re coming down the ramp… Newman was in front of me. Hernandez was coming toward us.
As he passes us, Newman turns and he says, “Nice game, pretty boy.” Hernandez continued past us up the ramp. Then, a second later something happened, that changed us in a very
deep and profound way from that day forward. What was it?
– He spit on us. And I screamed out, “I’m hit!” Then, I turned and the spit
ricocheted off him and it hit me. Wow… What a story. Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics
contradict the whole premise of your account. Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for ms. Benes,
as I’ve heard this story a number of times. Newman, Kramer, if you’ll indulge me. According to your story, Hernandez passes you and starts walking
up the ramp. Then, you say you were struck on the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple,
striking Newman between the 3rd and the 4th rib. The spit then came off the rib, made a right turn
hitting Newman in the right wrist, causing him to drop his baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist,
pauses – in mid air, mind you – makes a left turn, and lands on Newman’s left thigh. That is one magic loogie. Well, that’s the way it happened. What happened to your head when you got hit? Well, my head went back, and to the left. Say that again! Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left. So, what are you saying?
– I’m saying that the spit could not have come from behind. That there had to have been a second spitter. Behind the bushes on the gravelly road. If the spitter was behind you – as you claim – that would have caused your head to pitch forward. So, the spit could have only come
from the front, and to the right. But that’s not what they
would have you believe… I’m leaving. Jerry’s a nut. The sad thing is we may
never know the real truth.

100 thoughts on “Seinfeld – The Magic Loogie, Reconstructed

  1. I love that the playback of the "magic loogie" was shown in the same type of video format as the JFK assassination video was… This whole scene is genius!

  2. This is sadly HILARIOUS! I'm sorry that it was at the expense of one of the greatest presidents' death. But, wow was that some funny stuff!!! Perfectly "executed"!!!

  3. At 3:02, you can tell by the expression on Jerry's face that he knew they had just created one of the most memorable scenes in television history.

  4. I guess at least this may have gotten people to think about the fact that there was a conspiracy in the killing of our 35th President… last true president of USA.

  5. I think an accurate 'magic loogie' reconstruction could be done if someone could do a very fast, thick, and large loogie in the perfect direction.  I think the loogie could on its own initial  trajectory conditions react the three of four contacts.  I think Newman's hand would have to move backwards for the loogie to change direction- a possibility that might have existed in this recalled Seinfeld acted-out event.  I also think the initial set-up of Kramer's neck and head- and Newman's right hand position (upon contact)- are extremely pivotal to this possible scenario.  I think trying to create a reconstruction of this event, however, would probably be nearly impossible, and would still need to be 'acted out'.  But there are plenty of bizarre events outside of film industry life that I believe seem to contain such possible complexities.

  6. I love that episode .lol especially since it was Newman that was in Oliver stones JFK.. and was in the courtroom and was one of the people used in the demonstration by Kevin Costner ..he was seated in the exact same position to as in the Seinfeld episode

  7. I love "…our day was RUINED." and Kramers voiceover saying "NICE GAME PRETTY BOY" with the slow motion footage of Newman saying it…

  8. i saw this year's ago and found it one of the funniest moments in Seinfeld and only now I realise it's a parody of the JFK conspiracy theory.

  9. I LOVE how the Kramer/Newman/Hernandez clip is shot like the original jfk video with the man with the umbrella and the man with the camera on the opposite side and with a vintage filter. Plus Newman/Wayne Knight who recreated the scene about jfk in jfk is here parodying it. Pure Genius!

  10. 0:02 Kramer – I hate Keith Hernandez! Hate him!
    Newman – I despise him!
    I don't know why, I just find that quote funny! Well I find a lot of quotes funny in Seinfeld!

  11. Wow after 20 years on tv I just realized they had “umbrella man” in in the spitting scene. If you believe in the significance of “umbrella man” opening an umbrella on the grassy knoll on a perfectly sunny day in 1963..the one here is either signaling McDowell that it’s time to spit..or had foreknowledge that spit would be flying everywhere and it’s better to be protected.

  12. I remember watching this episode in 1992 and laughing hysterically, which I never do with a sitcom. All I could think was "WHO WRITES THIS STUFF???" Years later I learned about the fortuitous meeting with Larry David that merged his manic insanity with Seinfeld's observational humor to produce the comedy writing equivalent of Lennon-McCartney. Pure genius.

  13. No, the stadium's security would've been watching the crowds—baseball mitts, rolled-up player posters, a promotional t-shirt over an arm. Never would've let a man open an umbrella along the way. Never would've allowed departing spectators slow down to have a spat with others passing by in the opposite direction, much less refer to them as "pretty boy". You would have felt an Army-like presence in the streets that day, but none of this happened. It was a violation of the most basic protection codes that exist. And it's the best indication of a massive plot in Queens.

  14. 1:03 in the back the dad is protecting the child from that random spit. He is holding the gloves over his sons head from the left. So the spit must have come from that side…right hand side

  15. sad thing is we may never know the real truth. Me: WHO THE FUCKING FUCK CARES??!!!! IT'S A MLB PLAYER THAT OBVIOUSLY DID NOT LIKE NEWMAN'S REMARK!!!! LMFAO!!! I ALMOST SHIT MY FUCKING PANTS!!!!

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