-Last time we talked, and I think it finally
actually happened. -It did.
-It did. -Yeah.
-You had Rihanna on the show. -I did.
-What was it like? -It was the dream, yeah.
It was beyond my wildest dreams. We went day drinking, which is
something we do on the show. [ Laughter ] -I can’t believe
she said yes to that. -I know!
[ Laughter ] Why would you say yes to that?
-Why would you say yes to that? -But it was amazing.
People say, “What’s it like
drinking with Rihanna?” You know, like,
there’s some people, like, the more you drink
over the course of the night, the more they start
looking like Rihanna? -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -Like, imagine starting there.
-Wow! [ Laughter ]
Wow. -You know what I mean?
-Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Must be amazing.
-But she was so much fun. And she’s the nicest person
in the world, and it was — it was a blast.
-But what do you do after a — Like, when does day drinking
end for you? -So, it ends — unfortunately,
because, it’s day drinking, it ends in the afternoon,
and then I go home to a wife and children.
[ Laughter ] And it’s never ended where
we haven’t had some — like, where I’ve gotten
a little snitty with my wife. Because, like, I’ll come home
and knock over a lamp, and she’ll roll her eyes,
as you would, when your husband comes
home at 4:30 super trashed. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -And she’ll just go, “Ugh!” And then I’ll say,
“It’s for work!” [ Laughter ] “I was —
I was working with Rihanna!” -“This is for work!
I put food on the table.” -“I drank to pay for that lamp!” [ Laughter ] -Makes no sense. I have a picture
your wife sent to us. -Yeah.
-She wanted to show us what you look like
after day drinking. -Yeah.
That’s me in the — -This is you in the hallway. [ Laughter and applause ] You took a nap? -I took a full nap
in the hallway. That’s my —
-You took a nap in your hallway. -That is the most —
My mother-in-law took that. And, also, this is the most
mother-in-law thing. She put a water down next to me. [ Laughter ] -“Stay hydrated.”
-Yeah, stay hydrated. -But you told me
there’s one thing — ‘Cause I said,
“Is she just perfect? Is Rihanna just awesome?”
-Yeah. -Like, “Yes,
she’s everything, perfect.” I said, “Is there one thing
that she doesn’t do well?” And you go,
“There might be one thing.” -Yeah, she, at one point,
took my phone and took a bunch of pictures
while we were day drinking. And then, when I went through
them and looked at them, I’m like, “Rihanna’s bad
at taking pictures.” [ Laughter ] -See, I disagree.
I think this is a great picture. -I think
that’s not a good picture. -I would —
[ Laughter ] -I think that’s poorly framed. -I would post that on Instagram.
-I think that’s got a bad — And I don’t think —
Well, that’s a good one. This is a good picture of us.
It is. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah.
-That’s a memory right there. -Yeah, that’s —
I think that’s actually called the Rihanna filter.
-Yeah, it is, yeah. [ Laughter ]
Is that really? -Yeah, they just put
Rihanna in a picture, and then you look happy.
-She’s not even there. Yeah.
Are you guys, like, buddies now? Do you have each other’s —
-No. [ Laughter ]
I mean, I think highly of her. I think we’re friendly,
like, and whatnot. -You don’t have
her cellphone number? -I wouldn’t want it.
-No. -I think it would be, like,
too dangerous to have. [ Laughter ]
Like, you know what I mean? Like, I would like spend
all day thinking, like, “What’s a funny thing
to text Rihanna?” I think that —
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, it would just be
too much. You already have a job.
-Yeah, I already have a job. I feel like certain things —
like, I shouldn’t have Rihanna’s phone number
in the same way Trump shouldn’t
have nuclear codes. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -Someone near us can have them.
-Someone near us can have them, but you shouldn’t have them.
-No, no, no. -Speaking of Trump,
the impeachment hearings are going on all this week.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Any surprises?
What do you have to expect? -I mean, it’s —
I mean, it’s weird because we kind of know what
everybody’s gonna say, but it’s still fascinating
to watch the words come out of their mouths
as opposed to, you know, reading, you know, what they
said in closed testimony. But, you know,
I’ve gotten so bad — I know now
that I can’t predict anything. I’ve been wrong
about everything for so long. -Really?
-So you just kind of, like, just, like, you know, buckle in
and watch the ride. -With this administration? -Yeah, just with
the news these days. Like, nothing —
it feels like — -How?
Like, “This is happening.” -Yeah.
-“Okay, we’re doing this now. All right.”
-And, I mean, the testimony is fascinating, ’cause, you
know, one side asks questions, and people say things,
and you go, “Oh, that’s bad,” and then you watch
the other side being like, “But, I mean, was it that bad?” And you’re like,
“Yeah, no, it was.” [ Laughter ] But that’s like
their only defense right now. It’s like, “But, seriously,
there’s worse things, right?” And you’re like, “I don’t know. I guess so,
but I don’t know what it is.” -“Why are we –”
Yeah, it’s unbelievable. -Yeah.
-Do you have news on in your house, like,
around your wife and kids? -My kids are total news junkies.
3 and 1. -They really are?
-Yeah. The problem is one of them —
The 3-year-old loves MSNBC… [ Laughter ]
…1-year-old loves Fox News. -Fox News.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Oh, that’s tough. That’s tough.
-They’re cartoonier, so he likes that.
Yeah. -They’re different humans.
-They’re just different people, so we have to get them
different TV. -But the baby —
So, 3 already? -3 1/2 and 1 1/2, yeah.
-Oh, my gosh. -It’s really fun.
They’re just — They’re good dudes, and they
like hanging out together. -Yeah.
-The other — we have these — They have a pair
of noise-canceling headphones for babies.
-Yeah. -And the 3-year-old
likes to wear them ’cause he likes to pretend
he’s a helicopter pilot. And the 1-year-old
likes to wear them just to wear them
and walk around. But they’re noise-canceling,
so you can’t hear. So the other day,
the 3-year-old said, “I want those.”
And I was like, “You have to ask your brother
if you can have them.” So he walks over to the
1-year-old, and he says, “Can I have those?”
But they’re noise-canceling. So they just look at each other
for 10 seconds. [ Laughter ] And then, the 3-year-old
looks at me and goes, “He said yes.”
[ Laughter ] -Thataboy!
-There you go! -Thataboy right there!
-Punch line! -That’s a smart kid.