Laughter is the Best Medicine

Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Bernie Sanders, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Birthday

-Hey, everybody.
That’s Chris. I’m Seth. These are our favorite
jokes of the week. -According to Politico,
President Trump reads at least four newspapers
a day — though, I think that number
will go down once he realizes you can open them. [ Laughter ] [ As Trump ] “Oh, no.” Oh. Oh, there’s so many more.” [ Cheers and applause ] “There’s more sections.” [ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] This week’s
second Democratic debate is split into two parts, with 10 candidates
taking part tonight and another 10
facing off tomorrow. Although, you can’t really
have a substantive debate between 10 people. Even in a threesome, somebody
ends up feeling left out… [ Laughter ] …even if they have
the best ideas. Today was
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 72nd birthday — and wow.
I mean, he looks great. When asked what his secret was,
he said, [ As Schwarzenegger ]
“I have a second family.” [ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] According to
a debate coach on CNN, Senator Bernie Sanders
got a B+ for his performance
last night — which he was
perfectly have with. [ As Sanders ] “The last thing
I want is for my grade to be in the top 1%.” [ Laughter ] “B+.” [ Normal voice ]
A Delta pilot was removed from a fully boarded flight,
and arrested, yesterday, for allegedly attempting to fly
the plane while intoxicated. “How did he get alcohol,”
said people in coach. [ Laughter ] ♪♪

34 thoughts on “Seth’s Favorite Jokes of the Week: Bernie Sanders, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Birthday

  1. corporate goons. Making fun of others is all you do and thereby you incite hatred.

  2. Ahnult needs to stop with the hair. Nobody is fooled by that awful dye job. He should be dignified and let it go grey. It looks really good that way, better than that silly brown color.

  3. Bernie wants to create Health Industrial Complex.
    Bernie's Medicare For All is just the health version of the military industrial complex.
    A Government runs it for the profit of big businesses.
    Because profit is king.

  4. Old hypocrite Bernie didnt want to pay his own campaign workers $15 per hour. He final caved-in to do it but then cut their hours.

  5. This is helping my stand up career by teaching me how to write a joke, so thanks for that. Also that Bernie joke was perfect.

  6. And there not even real jokes just smears in disguise. Bye Seth enjoy your lower ratings for taking cheap shots at Bernie. I bailed on you months ago because of this.

  7. oh my god Seth i cant breath, too funny, way too funny, i feel like i am having a heart attack, holy god, did..did you wright those jokes yourself? you are a gem, a pure gem, is it to fair to call you god? i feel like your god, your so funny, i use to have a child, she suffocated because she was laughing so hard. my god too funny, WAY too funny

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