Laughter is the Best Medicine


Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier, and I’m here in the garage of Team Edge with Team Edge Say “Hi”, Team Edge J-Fred: We’re Team Edge
Matt: This isn’t my garage J-Fred: I’m not Markiplier Matt: This isn’t my garage J-Fred: Yes, it is Matt: It’s- it’s a studio space that we bought
[Mark coughing in the background] J-Fred: We paid millions of dollars for it Mark: Sorry (Matt Giggling) Mark: They were rich, they’re now poor, ’cause they spent all the money on this amazing, elaborate set Bryan: Ooooooh [x6] Mark: Anyway, (Matthias Laughs) Mark: Should I not mention that? Matthias: No, I was just messing with you
Mark: Oh, okay, cool Mark: So, we have this shock collar here, and we’re gonna be playing ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionare’ [Kinky] And while we wear it, (laughing) We have the option of skipping? I don’t know, we haven’t decided the rules. They made it up… I just came here… J-Fred: We have- we have 3 skips If you wanna skip, you get shocked You can only skip three times Whoever goes the longest makes the most money We’re not actually playing for money but [someone trap remix this part] Whoever gets the furthest, wins the game Mark: I’m just gonna cut like words from each of our sentences Matt: We are – getting shocked – in this – challenge Bryan: Alright…. J-Fred: See? [Bryan gets shocked] Mark: Yeah, it’s like every once in a while! Bryan: I felt it in my nuts! [Laughter & Whahahat’s!?] Mark: Why is your hand so connected to your nuts? Bryan: Woah! *Giggles* Bryan: That was a trip! J-Fred: If you don’t get these first few questions, I get to slap you too, ’cause you are an idiot if you don’t get them Mark: There’s a lot of rules being made up on the fly here J-Fred: That’s how Team Edge works. Bryan: You just push that button.. Woah woah, wait! Wait! Wait! Don’t turn it on! No! J-Fred: It didn’t get you, I told you! Bryan: No, ’cause he just turned it on, don’t push it again! Matt: I know, I know! Bryan: I’m sweating! J-Fred: That’s what I’m saying, he reacts – he reacts even when you don’t press it! Bryan: ‘Cause I thought it was going to shock me! Matt: Hey, hey, calm down Question- Bryan: When you have a shock collar on your neck, you can’t calm down! You can’t! Mark: This is probably safe, we don’t know. J-Fred: And a little kinky [That’s what I said!] [Ummm excuse me what? Please no. Wait what.] J-Fred: What piece of advice most often follows: “If at first you don’t succeed…”? A) Try again B) Throw in the towel C) File an appeal D) Give up? Bryan: Try again? J-Fred: Try again. Mark: YAAAAAY (clapping) Oh, is that right? (giggle) OK YAAAY J-Fred: Wow, that’s slow! Matt: Turn on audio J-Fred: Question number two: Which planet does Superman come from? A) Krypton Bryan: Krypton J-Fred: B… okay. Mark: Chica, shut up! *various giggles* that’s correct Matt: She looked over at you like… Brian: Alright next. J-Fred: Question number three Which……. Mark (sad voice): Oh look at her, she’s like… OH NOOOOOOO IT’S OKAY IT’S OKAY… J-Fred: shes wagging Matt: wagging her tail J-Fred: Question number three, Bryan Bryan: Three… OHHH WHY’D YOU DO THAT!!!??? [Spazzing] WHY?!??! Matt: I did not shock you! WHY!? YES IT DID! Matt: Bull, it was off! Bryan: IT SHOCKED ME! Matt: Bull!! Bryan: I felt it! IT SHOCKED ME! Matt: Bull J-Fred: You just lost a skip Matt: He just made that up J-Fred: No, ’cause, I don’t think he knew you pressed it Mark: Yeah, I think you shocked him Bryan: You shocked me, how else did I know you shocked… Matt: IT WAS OFF! This thing is, uh, defective J-Fred: Maybe it turns off right when you *demon laughter* Matt: So he gets that one to go ahead then? He gets to skip it? Bryan: Why do I skip? J-Fred: Nah, I’m just kidding J-Fred: You can skip it if you want, because he’d shocked you Mark: But these are the easy ones Bryan: Yeah, I don’t want to use my skip on the easy one, go J-Fred: Which drug was launched in the late 1990s as the cure for impotence? Bryan: What? Say it again J-Fred: Which drug was launched in the late 1990s as the cure for impotence? A) Ibuprofen Mark: You don’t know this one? A) Ibuprofen B) Aspirin C) Viagra Bryan: Oh, okay. Viagra J-Fred: Cetaphil. No, that’s it. J-Fred: Look how slow that is. It’s the slowest game ever Matt: That’s correct in case we didn’t announce that J-Fred: Okay, Bryan, you’re up to.. you have the possibility of getting.. What is that… fourty-five hundred dollars? Oh, that’s question number four: five hundred dollars (giggling) Mark: Laughing J-Fred: Question number four: Where does Napoleon Bonaparte originate from? A) Romandy B) Sardinia C) Sicily or D) Corsica You can skip it if you want, if you
get this wrong, your turn is over Bryan: Uhh.. I’ll skip it. J-Fred: Okay, skip Give him a.. Matt: SEE!! J-Fred: No, press it dude! Press it PRESS IT!! (GIGGLING) Bryan: Maybe, that’s not the butt— okay, okay, okay! Okay, but that’s not very hard of a shock J-Fred: Okay, turn it up J-Fred: In a bullfight, who kills the bull? A) The butcher B) A volunteer C) The matador Bryan: Matador J-Fred: The public..the matador Question number five for one thousand dollars, which chase piece Whoa (giggles) Which CHESS piece Mark: Nice NIIICE J-FRED: (giggles) always stays on the same color squares? A) Knight B) Queen C) King D) Bishop Are you going to want to take a skip on
this one? Mark: You know it, it’s fine, you got it Bryan: I don’t play chess, I don’t know Mark: Bryan, it’s okay J-Fred: Okay, so skip Wait, are you gonna skip it? Matt: He can hear when I’m pressing it… Bryan: The knight Matt: Oh, come on dog, that wasn’t right! Mark: Ohhh… J-Fred: WRONG!! Matt: It’s the bishop J-Fred: You Lose J-Fred: Why would you do that? Bryan: I thought it was the knight! Matt: The knight does an L, dog! Mark: It’s the bishop Bryan: I DON’T PLAY CHESS! Mark: WOOOOOOWWW Bryan: So, I’m done right? What’d I end up at, five hundred bucks? Matt: A thousand Bryan: A thousand bucks Matt: Oh, no J-Fred: No, five hundred, because you didn’t get it right Matt: OHH BUUUHUUU J-Fred: Wow, that’s uhh.. shameful Bryan: Look at Chica, she’s just like.. spread eagle Mark: Yeah, Chica does that J-Fred: That’s like the funniest thing I’ve ever seen Mark: She’s adorable J-Fred: I say it’s the funniest thing, but I’m
not laughing that hard Matt: That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen Mark: This is the funniest video *awkward silence* Mark: *cough* J-Fred: Okay, Mark Mark: I can’t talk J-Fred: If you don’t get this question, I get to punch you in the face Mark: Okay J-Fred: On what date is American Independence Day? A) 25th of December On the same day as Christmas Mark: July 4th, c’mon, give me an easy one! J-Fred: 4th of July, look at how slow this is Matt: Aannndd theeeeerreee! Mark: I need a little more space, Jesus Christ There we go, okay J-Fred: Okay, this is (giggling) Mark: Just choking on it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) J-Fred: Uh, how many sides does an isosceles triangle have, Mark? Mark (giggling): An isosceles triangle?! How many sides does this specific type of triangle, how many sides does this triangle have? (giggling) J-Fred: Okay, three! Mark: Three, yes Matt (laughing): He just didn’t answer. WRONG!! Mark: We all know J-Fred: Three for three hundred dollars According to the popular phrase, “don’t bite the hand that,” what? Mark: Feeds J-Fred: Feeds you (Mark laughing adorably) Matt: Seems like his are real easy J-Fred: ‘Kay, question number four for five hundred dollars The ability to see outside your central area of focus is called what? Mark: Peripheral vision J-Fred: Oh… very nice. J-Fred: I haven’t even had to read him any of the things, I even answered one myself for him (Markimoo laughing) Matt: How is… How is he manipulating this so far? Bryan: He’s cheating the system J-Fred: Oooh, this one might be interesting! Matt: He must be a genius J-Fred: You either know this or you don’t, just like every other questions (Markipooper laughing) Right! J-Fred: How was Macaulay Culkin left at home in 1990? Mark: Uhh, his parents go on a vacation without him J-Fred: A) Alone (laughing) Mark: Wait, whaaaaattt?! (giggling) J-Fred: B) Hungry C) Grounded D) Injured ALONE!! I’m gonna answer it for him! Matt: NO!! (sad) Yeah… J-Fred: What? Mark: Wait, what was the question again? J-Fred: How was he left home? Mark: How was he left home?!?! J-Fred: He would’ve got.. I guess Matt: No, he wouldn’t have! Mark: I would have gotten it! I’m not..I’m not (mumbled) Bryan here J-Fred: Question number six for two thousand dollars, a car with the international registration letter E comes from where? A) England B) Switzerland C) Spain D) Ireland Mark: I would guess England J-Fred: You wanna skip it or guess? Mark: No.. uhh… if it’s got the designation *E*.. J-Fred: Final answer? Mark: Wait, hang on, what were the other options? Matt: Wait, how would a fifth grader know this? J-Fred: England, Switzer-.. It’s not Fifth Grader! Mark: Yeah, it’s not Fifth Grader J-Fred: How long have you been here…where have you been? Matt: I thought we were playing “How To Be A Fifth Grader” Matt and Bryan: Wait, what? Mark: I don’t know, what are you talking about? Matt: “How To Win A Fifth Grader”, no J-Fred: Yes. (realization) WHAT!?!?!? Bryan: “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?” Matt: “Are You Smarter Than A Millionaire?” J-Fred: Okay, just to clarify, there are no fifth graders being won at the end of this game Mark: Whaaatttt? Bryan: What? J-Fred (pointing at matthias): That’s what you said, “How To Win A Fifth Grader” Mark: Whoaaa! (GIGGLING) J-Fred: Okay Matt: K-no J-Fred: Final answer, England, Switzerland, Spain, or Ireland? Mark: I would think England J-Fred: Okay, final answer? Mark: Yeeaahhh! Matt: It was wrong Mark: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?! What was it? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH (Mark gets shocked) WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?! Matt: Was I not supposed to shock him? J-Fred (laughing): No! Mark: What was it? What was it? (Spain, genius…) J-Fred: I don’t know, it never told me! Matt: He- you pointed it at the camera, they didn’t see Mark: Yeah! Is that how that-how this game works? Mark: OWWWW! Matt: Uh, this thing doesn’t work! I just turned it on Mark: OWWW Matt: Did that really hurt? Mark: Yeah.. that’s a good level, that’s a- no, no, turn it back, it’s a good level Matt: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Mark. BLAH BLAH BLAH, let’s shock this guy (points at Matt) Bryan: I just wanna point this, this out, he turned it down to three, it was at five Matt: I DID NOT!! Bryan: I CAUGHT HIM, I CAUGHT HIM!! I was like, “Waiiit a second here…” BRBAJBTFLA J-Fred: How did we both know to do that at the same exact time (Continuous laughter) Matt: I didn’t do it on purpose Bryan: I didn’t touch it, I was just joking Matt: Okay, I wasn’t messing with you guys, I legitimately thought it wasn’t on! J-Fred: Okay, don’t cry, it’s okay Matt (super crybaby mode): It wasn’t ON! J-Fred: Ohh… I hate my brother Matt: Stop! Can’t you just do it right the first time? Bryan: Why did you have to mess with it, trying to be funny man and make it all limp J-Fred: Trying to be funny man Trying to be funny man Matt (Jamaican voice): Trying to be funny man, huh? Bryan: Huh? Matt: Uh! Bryan: Funny man over h— ‘kay, there. J-Fred: ‘Kay, restart Matt: NO, I DON’T TRUST YOU!! I DON’T TRUST YOU!! Mark: It’s fine Matt: I will shock myself Mark: It’s fine, aww, c’mon We’ll shock him together Matt: I don’t trust you J-Fred: Okay This question is probably the dumbest question I ever read in my life Matt (impatiently): Then just read it… Bryan: Why is it taking so long dude? Mark: yeah J-Fred: What would you do with a burrito? A) Wear it B) Eat it C) Play it D) Drive it WHAT?!? I think you want to.. I think you want to wear the burrito Mark: It’s like an episode of Sponge Bob Matt: I will punch you in the face Bryan: DO IT!! I DARE YOU I will throw you across this garage Matt (mockingly): Mmmkay J-Fred: I think you wanna wear the burrito Matt: Let me put it in my mouth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) J-Fred: Skip Matt: That’s what you do with burritos Matt (singing): You put it in my mouth Mark: If I press the up and down, it doesn’t shock, right? J-Fred: Turns out he’s correct Question number two for two hundred dollars J-Fred: How many milligrams.. how many milligrams in a gram? (1000) A) 1000 these are a lot harder… Matt: Yeah, what? Mark: That’s easy! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) J-Fred: That’s super easy for me! Matt: I’m American! Matt: I’m American! Mark: You still should know this Bryan: Good for you! J-Fred: I was a science major and you (Mark) were an engineering major, so we should know this He (bryan) should probably know it too Matt: I was a film major, dude! Mark: Then you know this, right? Matt: Oh yeah, (deep voice) how many grams is your camera, (normal voice) oh, I don’t know, bro! Mark and Bryan: What? Matt: Exactly! J-Fred: Exactly Matt: Exactly! Bryan: Answer the question! J-Fred: How many milligrams in a gram? A) 1000 B) 100 C) 500 Bryan: This is easy J-Fred: D) 10 Matt: 10 Bryan: NOOO!!! Mark: WOOOWWW Bryan: *Milli*gram Shock him! Matt: Don’t, no, that’s not a shock! Bryan: Yes, you shocked him when you got it wrong Matt: That’s not a shock That’s not a shock No, it’s a skip! ARRGHH J-Fred: It didn’t get you, did it? Matt: Yes, it did Bryan: No, it didn’t Matt: Yes, it did Mark: Did it? J-Fred: Milli.. Matt: NO, AAAHHH, STAHP! I DON’T TRUST YOU!! Mark: Why not? J-Fred: Milli- is three J-Fred: You’re done, you lost Mark: Yeah Bryan: That’s your turn Mark: Wow! Matt: What was it? Mark and J-Fred: It was a thousand Matt: There are thousand… Bryan: Milli-, milli- is a thousand Mark: Mill, the Latin root of, I think it’s thousand, I’m not sure, yeah Bryan: Millisecond Matt: No, this is rigged J-Fred: Times three, it’s times three Matt: This is rigged Bryan: How much, you got one question right? Matt: Oh, how was— Mark (laughing): Yeah, he got one question right! Matt: How was he home alone? ALONE !?! (Mark’s awesome laugh) WHAT? Mark: Well, that’s equivalent to your dumb answer Matt: Which of the following is not gas? A) Nitrogen B) Mercury J-Fred: Mercury Mark: Nice Mark: Nice man J-Fred: That’s a, that’s… Mark: That was the first question? J-Fred: That’s a pretty easy question, but it’s not as like.. Mark: Not a burrito J-Fred: It’s not: “What do you do with a burrito?” Mark: WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS!?! AHHHHHH Bryan: Put it on my head J-Fred: I think I need to drive this Matt: ‘Kay, from what language does the word alphabet come from? A) Latin B) Sanskrit C)Greek or D) French J-Fred: Oh, that is question number two? Matt: That’s what I’m saying, he got the easy ones! J-Fred: Latin Matt: NO, GREEK, IT’S GREEK Bryan: What are you doing, what are you doing? J-Fred: I lost Bryan: No, well, put it back on! J-Fred: WHAT? J-Fred: No, that’s not part of the game! Bryan: Put it back on! Bryan: Put it back on! Matt: Go, go, go, go! J-Fred: OW! OW! OWWW! J-Fred: That’s not a part of the game Mark: Wow! I won with a thousand? J-Fred: What the crap, okay, first of all, that was a hard question Mark: I didn’t know that either. Latin or Greek, like, one would think that Latin is the root of all of it but Matt: Alpha though, alpha should have given it away Mark: That’s true, The Greek alphabet… OH, GREEK ALPHABET OHHHH Bryan: So you guys, we have to determine who’s last place J-Fred: Wait, what was your first three questions Bryan: It doesn’t matter, let’s move on to you’re the losers (grammar much?) J-Fred: What do you do with your nose? Taste Smell Hear Bryan: Loser either has to spin the wheel, or get shocked at the highest level. Mark: What’s the wheel? J-Fred: Oh, this is the wheel of punishments Matt: Wheel of misfortune J-Fred: Wheel of misfortune, correct Mark: That’s a good question to ask them Bryan: Okay, alright! the loser not only has to get shocked, but then they have to spin the wheel Matt: No, no, no, Matt: One or the other Bryan: C’mooooon! Alright, alright, so whoever answers it first, right? Is that what we’re doing? Mark: Yeah, sure Bryan: ‘Kay, Reprise Records was set up by which singer after he stopped recording with Capital? Bon Jovi Kurt Cobain Frank Sinatra Bruce Sprinting [sic] (everyone laughs) Mark: Bruce Sprinting Bryan: Kurt Cobain J-Fred: Kurt Cobain, I say! Matt: No, it’s not Kurt- I just say it’s not Bryan: No, what’s your answer? Matt: I say it’s not Kurt Cobain Bruce Sprinting (Bruce Springsteen) bryan: Alright, it is… Frank Sinatra, you guys both lose! Mark: You both suck Not that I would’ve known that but you guys suck Bryan: Okay, I’m gonna need to do that again ’cause it’s making me restart ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! How about that? Rock Paper Scissors! Rock Papers Scissors! Mark: Oh, Jesus… Bryan: This is the worst thing ever Mark: Oh my God! Bryan: You have no idea how painful it is to watch them play Rock Paper Scissors, ’cause they do the same thing Bryan: ‘Kay Mark: Jesus Bryan: C’mon! Try and win! J-Fred: I win!! Bryan: Spin the wheel! J-Fred: Paper Matt: No, this is fire Bryan: Go, spin it, spin the wheel! J-Fred: Water balloon firing squad! Matt: OH, C’MON!! Mark: Hey, I like that! That sounds good Matt: Water balloon firing squad J-Fred: This is Matthias’ first time doing that, by the way Alright, off to the back yard to throw fifty water balloons at Matthias Mark: We’re gonna throw water balloons Bryan: You gotta wear this though Mark: I’m not gonna wear this J-Fred: Mark is gonna get shocked real quick Oh, ’cause we promised at the beginning Bryan: We did, you can’t break a promise Mark: Yeah, alright Alright, hang on… ARRRGGGHH!!! Bryan: I didn’t even do it yet! Mark: What button did you press? Bryan: Plus two! Mark: OH MY GOD! (voice cracks) AHHHH!!! Bryan: His arm got stuck: “AHHHHHH!!!” Mark: AHHHHH! Why don’t you try that? The plus two is like, to an extreme I think that just means doubling it OH MY GOD Bryan: Put your fingers on it, put your fingers on it Mark: NO!!! Bryan: Just put your fingers on it Mark: NO, you put your fingers on it! J-Fred: Apparently, Mark doesn’t know math, ’cause plus two is not doubling it, it’s adding two Mark: No, it felt like it was doubling, ’cause we were on five and it went up to eight, and that was more Bryan: OH SHOOT!!! Mark: That was on my neck! Mark: So we’re just going, right now? Bryan: Yeah! J-Fred: Yes! Mark: We’re not gonna like, warm him up Bryan: This is his punishment for landing on it *screaming* Matt: I was trying— *more screaming* Matt: Whoa, I’m falling into the— OHHHH *EVEN MORE SCREAMING ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)* Oww, my side dude! *SCREAMING TO THE MAX* Bryan: Alright Mark, one more each, here Matt: Oh my gosh, this isn’t over?! *shouting* Mark: Alright, we’re done here Matthias, how do you feel? Matt: Owww, welts dude.. Mark: Oh wow, that is a welt So anyway, thank you so much for watching, uhh if you wanna see another challenge that we did, we’re gonna be doing the Backwards Action Challenge I don’t even know how that one goes, we didn’t even know how this one was gonna go, so, let us know if you enjoyed it and thanks again everybody for watching J-Fred: You wanna go see that video, it’s in the link down in the description below on our channel Bryan and Matt: Oooh J-Fred: He said bye! Mark: I was about to do my outro, the thing that I always do at the end of every video J-Fred: I thought he was done Mark: Don’t touch me, Matt: He gets to be shocked Mark: with your sweet tender kisses 😉 Mark: He also pussied— J-Fred: At least not during the video Mark: He pussied out of the neck eight so.. what is this guy? Anyways yeah, links are in the description, thanks again for watching As always, I’ll see in you in the next one Mark: Buh bye! Team Edge: Peace!


  1. I love how Team Edge has gone from Matt joking about "no, this is a studio, of course, we spent a lot of money on it!" And today Team Edge/Hi5 has a bunch of studios and warehouses

  2. Matt: this isn't my garage! It's a studio space we bought.
    Me: if only he new. Now it's 3 for hi5 and another for team edge.

  3. Napoleon Bonaparte is from Corse/Corsica for you; trust me, he's definitely NOT from Normandy, whether it’s upper or lower Normandy.

  4. I feel like a better way to phrase the home alone question would be "What adjective was used in the classic Christmas movie *Home _____?*"

  5. Captions are always the best part.
    “I thought we were playing hOw To Be A fIfTh GrAdEr?!”
    “hOw To WiN a FiFtH gRaDeR, no…”

  6. 12:10 Where does the word "alphabet" come from?

    Me: IT'S GREEK! Alpha, beta, gamma, delta, (something), zeta, (something).

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