Laughter is the Best Medicine

So Stupid It’s Not Funny: Trump’s Crackdown on Legal Immigration: The Daily Show

If immigration reform
was the centerpiece of your entire campaign and you were maybe
going to shut down the whole government over it, it would help if you knew
any of those things instead of this. Cancel the lottery program. They call it visa lottery. I just call it lottery. Where countries come in
and they put names in a hopper. They’re not giving you
their best names. Common sense means they’re not
giving you their best names. They’re giving you people
that they don’t want, and then we take them
out of the lo-lottery. And where they do it by hand, where they put the hand
in a bowl, like, probably
what’s in their hand are the worst of the worst. But they put people that
they don’t want into a lottery, and the United States
takes those people. You know,
sometimes Trump is so stupid that it’s not funny. The names are in a bowl? There’s 15 million applications, and it’s all online. This is not some scam where other countries
send America their worst individuals, right? People apply,
and then after vetting them, the U.S. State Department
chooses who comes in. Trump makes it sound
like there’s just some dude on the local news like,
“Your lucky immigrants tonight: “Rizwan, Shakir, Masiko, and your power immigrant,
El Chapo!” (laughter) So, either Trump is lying
about the visa lottery, or he’s a dumbass
who doesn’t know how it works. And I really don’t know
which one it is. So, let’s move on
to the other immigration program that Trump desperately wants
to end: chain migration, which, according to him, goes a little something
like this. Chain migration
is one of the disasters. -You allow one person in,
-Yeah. and that one person
brings in ten or 12 people. The individuals right now who are receiving green cards, they can bring in, say,
an elderly relative who could immediately
go on to… um, public assistance
if they become unable to support themselves
financially. And then that person
can bring in a relative who could bring in a relative
who can bring in a relative, and that’s why they call it
chain migration. Okay, okay, okay.
Slow down, daytime Dracula. You’ve got everything
right there except the facts. Because he makes it sound like the minute an immigrant
gets a green card, they can bring
their whole village with them. Sort of like this. (whistles) (all shouting) For Trump,
that was based on a true story. But here’s the thing.
If you have a green card, you can’t just bring
your whole family. You can only bring
your unmarried children and your spouse. And even if you go on
to become a U.S. citizen, the time it takes to bring
your family is a lot longer than Donny and the Trumpettes
make it sound. If you’re a legal resident
filing for your adult child, the wait time
for that adult child is roughly nine years. If you’re a U.S. citizen
filing for a sibling, uh, the wait time
is roughly 13 years for them to get a visa, and that time is even longer if you’re from China, India
or the Philippines, and so… a-and Mexico. And for some of them,
that wait time pushes at 20 years. That’s right,
it could take up to 20 years to bring a foreign family member
to live with you in the U.S. Which, for some relatives, is going to mean
some hard choices. It’s like,
“Grandma, look, I love you. “But 20 years, I mean… “It’s a lot of paperwork,
and, I mean, “I don’t know if you’re going
to make it, and… I’m just saying.” Look, the bottom line
is Trump wants to cut immigration in half
by any means necessary. And, again,
not just illegal immigration. Legal, lawful immigration. Yeah, he wants
to kick the brown out of town. So if you’re from El Salvador,
you ain’t welcome no more. If you’re from Haiti,
bye-bye, lady. If you’re
from the Philippines… Look, rhymes are not
what we’re here for, all right? The point is Trump wants
fewer immigrants coming into the U.S. And while facts
haven’t always been his friend, there’s always one tool he always knows
how to use: fear. People come in, and they’re not
necessarily good. Like the man that ran over… the animal that ran over
many people in New York City the other day. According to chain migration, he may have as many as 22 to 24 people
that came in with him. -His grandfather,
his grandmother, -(booing) his mother, his father,
his brothers, his sisters. We have to end chain migration. -We have to end chain migration.
-(cheering and applause) Okay, once again,
that’s not true. The New York bike terrorist
was here on a green card, so he couldn’t bring
his grandmother, his grandfather,
his brothers and sisters. But Trump is using
his fictionalized version of the story to crack down
on all immigration. And, look, the truth is
I see what’s happening here. First, they said no
to illegal immigrants, and now they have a problem
with legal immigrants coming in. I mean, I know they say
they’re not coming for us if we’re already here legally, but the way this is going, we may want to get on Pornhub
one last time, because time may be running out.

100 thoughts on “So Stupid It’s Not Funny: Trump’s Crackdown on Legal Immigration: The Daily Show

  1. 咦,発生什麼事了??,佬孔大官众曰,日本台天把衛星交給美国致友,活佬学到佬大派,而勞其黃种族骨,苦其志心,必回報(是給白头盔还是自由主还是猷酋族还是三合共济組还是教父組还是聖母組还是,,,,,,,,,??),Y哉喔??,而指日可待什麼的样子???,丫哉喔??。

  2. Illegals have cleared out resources from Salvation Army untied way and serval other service. I’m never voting democratic again ever… Trump 2020💯

  3. LOL, I have never heard so stupid and clueless comment, "…picking the names from a bowl.." , the way he is picking his new wife…what an idiot.

  4. What is the knockout game?
    The knockout game is where a bunch of young black males go up to a single white person or Asian Person and try to knock out that person with one punch!!
    But you would never see this racist black man condemn that! Only white people are called racist

  5. Trump is such an idiot it's speaks volumes about the type of people who voted for him.

    Every day he alienates more and more of the world – that's not a clever thing to do especially now that the US's power base is being eroded at such a rapid rate.

  6. Do all of you people realize that they have made immigrants to mean brown people and minorities.. but there are plenty of whites coming into this country as immigrants that no one seems to even be talking about.. why is that

  7. Half the reason so many people from impoverished and developing country conditions is because is because they have limited access to internet or can't read due to the terrible state of education in their country. They want a better life but lack the legal means to attain it. And "we" persecute them for that. Shame on xenophobic douches. And you know what's funny? Many of the Hispanics who come here are usually 10x better workers (both industrially and in teamwork)than our own domestic workers. They learn quickly and humbly, and move fast, taking their jobs very seriously. We could learn from them, just as they can learn from us.

  8. I knew trump was not very intelligent, but this is insane. Clearly he doesn’t know how immigration laws work. The process is very expensive, lengthy and complicated. Obviously he has no clue what he is talking about.

  9. Trump's Plan as spoken by God, the 1%,"Keep looking at my Golden Toilet whilst 'We the 1%', Rape You. Every witch way possible." That's akin to Kingship. That's the plan.

  10. I find it hilarious that orange kolored kucold is bumping his MkDonald infused gums about chain migration when his pole dancing skank wife chain migrated her parents

  11. He should start with his Anchor Children & the 1st & 3rd wife. Chain Migration is how he has an awful litter,should send his latest wife family back before he attempts to change our laws.

  12. Hey it did take me 20 years! My parent applied for me when I was 2 years old and I got my residency between 21 turning 22.

  13. why are those people only listen to what a politicant said instead of doing some research by themselves? are they that lazy

  14. The end of chain migration starts with you Jabba the Gut trump Coward… Trump is the definition of chain migration… an immigrant complaining about other immigrants… trumps mother was a immigrant from Scotland.. trumps grandfather was kicked out of Russia and to never return because he was a GUTLESS COWARD…

  15. You have to work hard to be this fucking dumb no wonder his supporters fit right in place . Stephen Miller is a walking smegma.

  16. He is like HITLER who wanted a pure White Race . We need to get rid of TRUMP. I do not want a go through this again where you have to flee your Country because some SON OF A BITCH WANTS A ALL WHITE USA. Remove him by force and have this PRICK COMMITTED. HE ONLY LIKES DICTATORS IS A CORRUPT BASTARD A NEO NAZI LIKE HIS BASE AND THE LIKES OF FOX NEWS. IS THAT OUR COMMUNIST PARTY RADIO STATION?

  17. That's what happens when stupidity people voted for this pig. He lie when he place his hand on the bible. He lie to the American people and to God. Evil is lurking in the White House like the movie. "White House's has falling" with this disgusting orange taco face demon. Let's see who will vote for this Jackass" in 2020…..

  18. Please do not blame Germany for the of return Trumps’ grandpa to US. If so give Trump some some leniency and keep him in US.

  19. Trump is an idiot!!!!! If all immigrants could bring a chain of immigrants they would of beat the shit out of Trump by now. How can a grown man be so fucken ignorant? That just proves his father paid his way through school because he has no clue about how things work…

  20. It's like, all the family want to come..only because, this person, got papers to be legal. I dont thing so..most of them are happy where they are….if you ask ..most of them will say ,,,no thanks

  21. I never hear the comedians mention how Trump's fist wife a current wife are both immigrants. Why does no one talk about that? I mean, Trump is awful in a million ways, but why no one calls him out for this hypocrisy blows my mind! The freaking first lady is an immigrant! (Not to mention his own family history)!!! Arrrggghhhhh!!! Trump is such an idiot, so cruel and such a criminal, it's completely maddening!!!

  22. america is rich because you have these amazing immigrants from all over the world working at intel , google , microsoft , facebook..all the big names ..just visit their hq and see it for yourself . its funny how trump himself uses immigrant labour and now its legal immigrants he has problems with …i would say that stay in your country and try and make your nation rich and powerful , i see all these great minds ..doctors , coders , programmers , engineers rushing to america because they wanna get rich and in that process they forget about their own country ..what a shame …

  23. No one is sending anyone! People apply to come here.
    End chain migration after we got Melania's family in using the very same process?
    BTW how many came in with Melania?

  24. 4:06 let me get this straight, there's a guy that ran over an animal and that animal ran over a bunch of people so I'm guessing that guy basically ran over the animal because it killed all those people so why is the guy bad if he did a good deed?

  25. Lol I’m a grreenholder and is not been easy …it took years to get it , and I haven’t bring anyone

  26. Illiteracy, ignorance, racism, and evil all wrapped up in a lier !!! This somes Donald Trump up in a few words!!! You can get mad all you want, but God loves the truth !!!

  27. Excuse me, but shouldn't the united states be working to reform such behaviors like NOT STEALING IMMIGRANTS CITIZENSHIP PAPERS AND THEN TRYING TO KILL THEM WITH SLEEPING PILLS? My dad (Who got a mention in Wikipedia under the culture and entertainment for MY country in Africa) had to send me a birth certificate so that I could get my citizenship document replaced in 2018. I almost died a Jane Doe in 2012 and then again in 2017. And then again in 2018 when I almost "accidentally" blew up an entire house with a gas mounted wall heater. I turned the photographs and a report into the police in Memphis about the wall heater as I did not think I would get a fair trial in the town where I live as I was arrested in 2014 for a crime that was committed AGAINST ME and then while in police custody was assaulted two more times by two women under the age of twenty five. One woman that assaulted me when the police or jail guards came to the jail cell to break up the first fight was brought by the police or guards because the first fight took place in a locked kail cell. Anyways, these unusual occurrences have already been reported to immigration and also reported on a few other government lines. These unusual incidents are starting to look more and more like hate crimes as if what these news reports say are true and that my $#!th0£3 country Zambia opted not to do business with them makes the united states look like a country that bullies immigrants. My mother was born and raised in the united states of america and is part native American so that "go back to Africa" Ish seems to be hate speech and invalid since I have been a citizen since the age of three when my family returned to the united states of America. (My fathers side of the family is African.) So if the united States could please reform such I'll behaviours and mistreatment if LEGAL IMMIGRANTS, that would be great. My dad has been capable of supporting himself and my siblings who live in Europe so I don't that my dad would come to America to spange off of america for any of their wonderful tax dollars. Now, the fact that the united states government tried to kill me us probably why a doctor Elliot Wolfe decided to apply for social security disability benefits on my behalf (back then I didn't even know such money was available and was waiting tables or working in schools or daycares (I was a teachers assistant at Crescent Academy and a daycare teacher) to support myself) OR I'm actually insane and those sleeping pills that I keep in a safe deposit box were nothing and I just plain over reacted which means that the money and health insurance benefits I get from the US government are for a legitimate mental illness. I have the sleeping pills just in case anybody would like to take two of them and see if they wake up the next morning just to test them out to see if I overreacted or if the united states government attempted to have me murdered in 2012. I also have video of the gas mounted wall heater that they used to try and make me go crazy (I had a gun put to my head at the age of 14 and somebody decided to install a gas mounted wall heater that made noises of a gun misfiring in my apartment. Basically I had the choice of going without heat in winter or listening to a disturbing and traumatizing sound just to stay warm) I would be more than delighted to explain to anyone that wants to know exactly what types of treatments I have really endured. Just ask and I'll send you an email or, I am more than happy to write it all down publicly right here on YouTube. And as I have stated previously , I am not interested in filing any lawsuits as the united states government has supplied me with social security disability and health insurance but what I would do is file criminal charges for psychological torture and hate crimes committed against me.

  28. The thing is, as Chomsky analysed, Trump is talking to the base, whilst the leadership of the Republican party satisfies corporate power and wealth. In the end, unfortunately, it does not matter that Trump is a hot air balloon. He needs to secure the base-votes and that is what he is doing.

  29. Why should Trump be allowed to rally his crowd with such untruths. Every paper should fact check these lies and have a column on the first page bringing them to our attention.

  30. How about Whitety needs a flighty. Get out you don't like immagriants you need to pack you shyt and leave because white floks do not belong here. I'll have to carry around my damn birth certificate now because I'm seeing this leading to what they did to is Mexican Americans in the 1920s. Even if you looked Mexican the government sent you to Mexico.

  31. It is abundantly clear that trump, Moscow mitch, the NRA, kkk, most of fox news, and republicans in Congress are possessed by demons and the devil. These people are characterized by evils and lies. In his book PEOPLE OF THE LIE M. Scott Peck THROROUGHLY exposes them.
    jay sekulow claims to be a Christian, and has a daily Christian radio show. Many of the people who call into his show sound like ultra rights/nationalists. It is also clear that jay is defending demons and the devil himself. What a shame!

  32. Looking back at this, we would love things just to be this racist and corrupt. It's so much worse in the future. Remember when we thought that was rock bottom? ha! Who would of thought this rhetoric would be dangerous?

  33. all you americans in the comments talkng shit about trump ,please stfu.You voted for him! nobody else chooses the POTUS,you the hell there isnt literally a single person in these comments saying "trump is good" and yet he won the election.yall americans dont make sense,only thing you make is donuts.Which are immediatlly eaten by,and yes you guessed it correctly,AMERICANS!

  34. Trump knows better, he paid for Melania's parents to get their US Citizenship in 2018. He used the same lawyer (Michael Wildes) he used for Melania … and her dad (Viktor Knavs) didn't have "clean record".

  35. This mans a walking contradiction:

    Hates lottery system & chain migration, wife married him to gain citizenship and bring her fam here with chain migration.

    Hates illegals taking our jobs…hires illegals to work in his company

    Whined about Obama golfing too much and not having time to be presidential…has golfed more times than Obama and wasted tax payer money in just his first 2 yrs

  36. We say in Italy
    If you are already burnt
    Don’t talk ,!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    He’s speaking of his family o geeeeeeeeeee

  37. Donald KKKrump wants to make America WHITE again.He only wants immigrants who looks like him ….. UGLY FAT CHUBBY RACIST AND REPUGNANT.

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