Laughter is the Best Medicine

“STAR WARS: A Bad Lip Reading”

*You can turn these captions of using the CC button below* Hahaha, there she is! Ready to hit the cantina? No, and I really hate you texting me all those helmet pics! Oh, well give me your email and I’ll send you some of the hi-res versions Dude, I don’t want your dirty email. No, no, you’ll like these. They’re real arty The better Jedi would not send selfies. Bope, beep, bipp, boop, bope Go show her my trophies! All right man, you and me gonna talk Is this something that we have to do or is it more of an optional thing? If you look at a dead spider, what’ll happen? Oh, amazing things happen! You should go find one right now Can you spit in my tea? Well since I have no salivary glands, probably not I don’t got a big attention span… Hey Luke! Check out my new friend. A big grey thing chased me up the mountain and froze! Remember what I said about that? That was your shadow. Oh yeah, that thing That tickles I know No seriously, I’m going to oil myself! Ha ha ha Umm, you should listen to him, it’s a big mess! Hey, you shut your mouth, okay man? Please accept my apologies, it will not happen again. Yeah, that’s what I thought Careful, don’t hurt me Don’t be so jumpy, I wouldn’t…. I wouldn’t – hurt – you OW!! Uh oh I want her to dance! She does not dance. Come on, make her dance for him That’s now how it works I want a wooden snowman, but no one sells them (knock on door) I’ll be right out! I want a wooden snowman Holy chicken, she’s beautiful I wish you were real! Hey guys, we’re collecting donations for the Jawa orphanage Do you have any spare change? Hey, you should know that you stink kinda like fish Wait, what? Everyone knows it except for you Do I stink to you guys? [No] [I can’t really smell anything in this helmet] And he hurt my spleen Um how does that even happen? Booka Flock! Okay, you know what, you’re just creeping me out, get out of here I don’t want your sass Why don’t you teach me how to glue something? Look I just need the Pickaxe of Cortez and the Mystical Diamonds Ah, that’s weird, ’cause that’s at the witches house. The Haunted Mansion. They call it the Death House. Hall of Fear. The Death House? You know, Biggs’ little brother tripped in that Well why don’t you just move to Nevada… dude Because I heard it was a bad part of Mexico! Did you hear him, he doesn’t even know geography! Ahhh, just let me set ’em off at the meeting I don’t have any grilled meat I have a monkey in a bottle No, that’s the pet giraffe. Hey, does everybody like my wrists? Hey, why’d you do that? Step back, bubba jack! Huh? ‘Cause some wrists are a bit weird You said what? You know, I should build a baby Taco Bell The sign would be kind of cute. Hmm. Yeahhh! You know, you could make a fortune. I love it when you say that A lot of great skaters bust their teeth That song doesn’t make a bit of sense, and I don’t like it There’s an extra part that’s worth it and i’ll sing it if I get to clip your nails [The lavatory is now free] okay anyway, I’m hopping on the can Ahh, I’m going crazy I’m so hungry Well I could make grilled cheese No offense kid, I don’t think you even know how to boil water All right, come on baby, this is your papa Want me to help the baby? Dummy, it’s a figure of speech. I was a dog walker – Hey, you’re really cute! Ewww Oh, you’re REALLY cute, and I forgot to wash earlier, but my bed is open No, person! That’s okay! You got eyeliner, right? Yeah right, check out if she’s got beauty Oh, maybe I oughta write you a song, right? Ah-uhhhhhh What darling? Augh FNEER! GHAAUGH Give me a big howl Na-uh HAHAHAhahahha KOO KOO Kwan Why don’t you drink phlegm? So you know the princess and I are engaged, right? Oh, you makes stuff up still, huh? Shut up, you don’t know Yeah I do, and I know something else too You got weird eyes Your MOM’S got weird eyes Yeah, and she went and poked MY eye for doing the crossword in her magazine Well you deserved it, that’s not cool Did you take my wallet? Of course not And it’s probably not in the trash by my armchair, so don’t even look there It looks like there’s a Cheeto Oh, they’re playing [This old man can’t pitch] FOUL!! Ship sweet ship I can’t wait to go back there and try some of my brisket, cause i’m really sure nobody ate it! Han. Haaa-an H-Haann Someone… maybe… ate it Yo, what’s up Moff Ball? I like bread Yeah, great, thanks for reminding me of what I can’t eat because of the mask Well, you shouldn’t have called me a big turd burglar at the gym Heh heh, Turd Burglar Hey, if you find a little economy fridge, I’ll buy it I also want a chipmunk, a gumball, a friend, a horse A gumball? Why’d you say that you want a gumball? Cause the warden found all my loose skin! I had like boxes and boxes and he took it somewhere mmmm-boring I bet you’ll just buy some stupid guy thing Ah, hey, dude I bought a frisbee once Hey, how’d my father die? 49 times We fought that beast It had a chicken head with duck feet With a woman’s face too Aww, that’s rad! It was waiting in the bushes for us then it ripped off your dad’s face He was screaming something awful In fact there was this huge mess and I had to change the floors The floors? You see, his blood drained into the boards and I had to change ’em But we all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us Every day I worry all day About what’s waiting in the bushes of love Cuz something’s waiting in the bushes for us Something’s waiting in the bushes of love

100 thoughts on ““STAR WARS: A Bad Lip Reading”

  1. "That song doesn't make any sense,"

    Says the same person who sang the lyrics,
    "We've all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us,"

  2. “If you look at a dead spider what’ll happen?”
    “Oh amazing things happen”

    Me: look up and sees a dead spider
    This is destiny

    Yes that just happened sadly.

  3. Love how they still give Greedo subs even though his English is flawless. Really tickles my ribs.


  4. Come on baby this is your papa.
    You want me to help the baby?
    Dummy its a figure of speech.
    LOL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  5. Even 4 years later, the BLR of Star Wars is STILL better than any of the "new" films by Disney….even better then the prequels.

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