Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Stephen Isn’t Above Doing Massage Parlor Jokes


SPEAKING OF SCANDALS, THERE ARE
NEW DEVELOPMENTS IN THE ARREST OF ONE OF TRUMP’S PERSONAL
FRIENDS: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS OWNER AND MAN AT NURSING HOME
CONFIRMING HE WENT, ROBERT KRAFT. KRAFT WAS IN A FLORIDA MASSAGE
PARLOR, WHERE HE WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA GETTING A, LET’S SAY,
HAND EMPLOYMENT. ( LAUGHTER )
SO, ONCE AGAIN, THE PATRIOTS ARE EMBROILED IN A SCANDAL INVOLVING
DEFLATED BALLS. ( LAUGHTER )
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( APPLAUSE )
WE SHOULDN’T BE SURPRISED. THERE’S A REASON THEY CALL IT
PALM BEACH. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Jon: WHOA…>>Stephen: THERE’S GOING TO
BE A LOT OF THESE SO GET READY. ( LAUGHTER )
KRAFT HAS PLEADED NOT GUILTY, AND THIS WEEKEND WE LEARNED THAT
HE HAS ASSEMBLED A LEGAL DREAM TEAM, CONSISTING OF MULTIPLE
HIGH-PROFILE FLORIDA CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEYS. MULTIPLE? HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES HE NEED TO
GET HIM OFF? ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT THE STORY GOT EVEN SEAMIER, WHEN IT CAME OUT THAT THE
FOUNDER OF THE MASSAGE PARLOR COMPANY, CINDY YANG, ATTENDED
TRUMP’S SUPER BOWL PARTY AT MAR-ALAGO. WELL, OF COURSE, SHE WENT TO
TRUMP’S SUPER BOWL PARTY. WE KNOW SHE WAS PULLING FOR BOB
KRAFT. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, TO BE FAIR, CINDY YANG NO LONGER OWNS THE “ORCHIDS OF ASIA
DAY SPA”. BECAUSE NOW SHE’S RUNNING A MORE
PROFITABLE BUSINESS THAT SOLD CHINESE BUSINESS EXECUTIVES
ACCESS TO PRESIDENT TRUMP AT MAR A-LAGO. AND SHE SEEMS TO HAVE INFLUENCE. BECAUSE JUST LISTEN TO TRUMP
TOUTING THE SERVICES AT HER DAY SPAS.>>JOBS, JOBS, JOBS. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: NOW — TOLD YA. DON’T YOU DARE SHAKE YOUR HEAD
AT ME! ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK
PROMISING ACCESS TO THE PRESIDENT. THERE’S NO WAY CINDY YANG
ACTUALLY MANAGED TO GET CLOSE TO– AND THERE ARE MULTIPLE
PICTURES OF THEM TOGETHER. ( LAUGHTER )
SHE ALSO HAS PHOTOS POSING WITH DON JUNIOR, AND ERIC. PROVING SHE HAS EXPERIENCE
DEALING WITH LITTLE ( BLEEP ). ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) OKAY OVER THERE? PUTTING FOOD ON YOUR CHILDREN’S
TABLE RIGHT NOW. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT THIS ISN’T JUST A SALACIOUS STORY, NATIONAL SECURITY EXPERTS
SAY THAT YANG COULD POSE A THREAT, PRESENTING OPPORTUNITIES
FOR ESPIONAGE OR BLACKMAIL TARGETING THE PRESIDENT’S INNER
CIRCLE. TARGETING YOUR INNER CIRCLE,
ALSO AVAILABLE AT HER MASSAGE PARLORS. ( LAUGHTER )
SMALL UP-FEE. (BELL RINGING)
OH MY GOODNESS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS: WE JUST DID EIGHT CONSECUTIVE MASSAGE PARLOR
JOKES! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
A NEW WORLD RECORD, SO THIS SORDID STORY REALLY DOES HAVE A
HAPPY ENDING. ( RINGING BELL )
NINE! WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT, DAMIAN LEWIS IS HERE. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, TUCKER
CARLSON. STICK AROUND!

100 thoughts on “Stephen Isn’t Above Doing Massage Parlor Jokes

  1. Here's the thing though, with this many jokes about massage parlors that engage in illegal activity, it minimizes what should truly be recognized as sexual slavery. It's disgusting that this woman leads this illegal empire the way she does. Let's not forget the people whose lives she ruins, enslaves, and scars.

  2. Ring Ring
    Comrade Trump called Bob Kraft and asked him when he shows up at The White House with The Patriots if he is still bringing the sex slaves…😂😂😂

  3. Funniest monologue this week!!! Amazing!!! Shows writers are amazing!!! And I am starting to look at Stephen with love in my eyes

  4. Are you surprised Trump is involved in a massage parlor like this?
    After all with happy ending usually there's a jerk off to be found

  5. Congrats Stephen on your 9 spa jokes in a row. Not an easy feet. One more way Trump’s like Nixon. Nixon has his Asian woman and it looks like Trump has his Asian woman too. Thank goodness we’re not at war now. He would push the peace talks off until the election year causing thousands of military men and women to needlessly die until close to the 2020 election to get his approval ratings up. I would NOT put it past him. Trumps such a selfish Trucker! 😝🤨

  6. 叔叔,鸽子不知元素獣众,以及元素使分散而人心乱感應念力,而世界纷乱何时期,但,實知为咩而寻更多盃而无元素乃至元素使事,,,而纷乱久世际,,,如此。
    鸽子也想知是哪大爷无識而乱遣派分散,,,?,希望哪大爷上天外天聚餐而诉知,为什麽,,,。奇實可能有仿摩门之人派,摩门徒怎会收献奉纳而矛盾五斗高梁??,像警伯哥哥捕拘後无祷,而有上教会教堂献奉,卻矛盾於天使?,久而久之律大師则升判别,,,?,而人人不分富或平凡,皆可自由定他人生死,有误再律卞判别,久而久之,立电椅薬济而禁椅以薬2户济,久而久之軍控欲射电??,久而久之,羅国卫宗会,,,?取代或??,久而久之石堂貞修女殿样,,,?助阀以温饱而侵入,,,??。
    鸽子好緊張喔,鸽子心鳥鳥头小腦很忐忑,,,好緊张喔。東土引魂擦鞋工保工廠以及假文墨众文謅謅武无卫众,小王和凤鹤彖狮用不上,哪麽多大佬尊,,。東土引魂擦鞋工保工廠以及假文墨众文謅謅武无卫众,小王和凤鹤彖狮用不上,,,。
    天使门或政战筆记小龙馆後财众,己勿脱團脱軌乃至文革学運鏡,,,SO,勿憂勿脱,,,。
    天地小王学術,不助无缘之点出囹圄,,,SO,大陸会有天门基科技,比51区更平凡價免ViP卡,,,皆宜。
    天使门或政战筆记小龙馆後财众,己勿脱團脱軌乃至文革学運鏡,,,SO,勿憂勿脱,,,。
    天地小王学術,不助无缘之点出囹圄,,,SO,大陸会有天门基科技,比51区更平凡價免ViP卡,,,皆宜。鸽子理念不同,人人都可定他人生死,又缴財给政府宗教耒定纯樸生死命,哪还出财给判自己生死命,要是不公证,缴錢只是心安又被乱练搞,,,?。

  7. I used to enjoy Colbert's' show. But I can't really take him in consideration anymore after he mocked, made fun, and merciless with bad taste, lambasted Bernie Sander about his age, some days ago. He seems to be hypocritical about his political views.

  8. The Florida massage parlor  that Trump and Kraft is being linked to is being charged with human trafficking  -sex slavery

  9. Oy! Can't believe I almost missed this one. The word 'orchid' comes from a Greek root meaning 'testicle'. Not funny, except to me; just perfect!

  10. I can't say I didn't find the gags funny — but, in seriousness, I do wish some attention had been given to the fact that the workers at the spa were victims of sex-trafficking…

  11. On the one hand(job), Trump and sons don't necessarily know who this woman is when she asks for a selfie with them.
    On the other, Trump 'massaged' the figures by doubling the membership fees at his clubs the moment he took office, so that only the really wealthy could afford to buy access to him, so he directly contibuted to her coming up with this new 'pay-to-play' business opportunity.

  12. Oh my god, this whole segment was GOLD. One great joke after another…….

    and I’m not talking about the trump family.

  13. We live in a world where the president having alleged ties to massage parlor prostitutes is acceptable news. Republicans would've burned Obama alive for a scandal of this magnitude.

  14. That Stephen is on the sexual pervert side for sure. I have always wondered if he's, you know, Queer.. not that not anything wrong with that…. Stephen, just please  just stay away from our children's schools.

  15. 2:22 "…proving she has experience dealing with little pricks" says Colbert, but subtitles say "dealing with little (BLEEP)".🤨

  16. Why am I not surprised, yet still dusturbed; That the massage parlor owner attends the same events as the Trumps?
    "Birds of a feather, must flock together"…😂😕😏😳

  17. Dumpf should be in a viagra and cialis advertisement. As a person who takes the med, but nothing happens because the only thing he can hump is Old Glory!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *