Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Steven Universe CRACK: We’re Not Done Yet (WARNING: LOUD)


*BEEEEEEEEEP* Gay caterpillar: Baaaah! Blue: Aah! Blue: Neeh! Gay caterpillar: *death noise* Blue: Piink! Steven’s Brain: Jesus Christ! Are you a fucking gremlin?! *BEEEEEEEEEP* God: The Fitness-Gram Pacer test is a multi-stage aerobic capacity test God: that progressively gets more difficult as it continues *p a i n* Steven: Blue, you gotta let us out of here! We’re gonna starve! Blue/Drax: That’s a made-up word! *All words are made up.*
op note: hard facts Blue: -Another trick, so I’ll cave and let you out? Well, not this time! Blue: You’re not leaving this tower until you apologize for fusing at the ball! *Heinz Kiessling – Temptation Sensation (The It’s Always Sunny Theme)* *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: No. Blue: *smol gasp* Connie: Steven! Steven: What? Steven/NeNe: I SAID WHAT I SAID! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Blue: We finally have you back, Blue: and you’re *worse* than ever! Tobucus/Tumblr: Mmm, no. *BEEEEEEEEEP* Yellow Diamond/Carly: Uhm… Yellow/Carly: Whatcha got there? Blue/Spencer: A smoothie. *BEEEEEEEEEP* Yellow: What are you doing, Blue? Blue/John Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. Blue/John: And I’m all out of bubble gum. *”They Live” is a god-tier movie* Yellow: Then I’ll do it myself. *slap* Yellow: Blue?! *Yes – Roundabout (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure’s To Be Continued Theme)* *BEEEEEEEEEP* Peridot: They’re absolutely, totally, completely flawless beings! Peridot: Especially my Diamond! Peridot: Yellow Diamond. Peridot: The most perfect, the most reasonable, rational, efficient decider ever to exist in the universe!
Yellow: I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against Yellow: ME?! *w a i t a m i n u t e* Chinedu Ikedieze: Oh, my God! Chinedu Ikedieze: *unintelligible*- Oh, my god! Yellow: Stop! *He’s thirty in that clip* Jacksfilms/Us: Yessterday Jacksfilms/Us: I Asked You, Jacksfilms/Us: Why, oh why, are these precious little [Diamonds] fighting? Jacksfilms/Us: Just- Why are they fighting? *BEEEEEEEEEP*
op: fun fact i had to go down a rabbit hole for what font he used for Authenticity Reasons Steven: My dad says, “if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs”! Yellow/Dillon Francis: What does that even mean?! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: You lose all the things that make you happy! Like hot dogs! Blue: Or our Pink… Bart/Us: Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the SECOND when [her] heart rips in half! Bart/Us: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Bart/Us: Now! Yellow: *groan of emotional pain* Lisa/Also Us: Awwww… *BEEEEEEEEEP* Yellow: Stop! Yellow: Stop it, Blue! Yellow: Stop using your power on me! Blue: I’m not! Yellow/The Grinch: Help me! Yellow/The Grinch: I’m… Yellow/The Grinch: FEELING! *BEEEEEEEEEP* M’Baku/A Pissed Off Pillar: Are you done? M’Baku/A Pissed Off Pillar: A-A- Are you- Are you- Are you done? *BEEEEEEEEEP* White Diamond’s Pearl: You’re not going anywhere! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: What the heck is that?! Juicy J & Wiz Khalifa & Ty Dolla $ign – Shell Shocked
*muffled music* Juicy J & Wiz Khalifa & Ty Dolla $ign – Shell Shocked
🎵 KNOCK KNOCK, YOU ABOUT TO GET SHELL SHOCKED 🎵 J̵̨̍u̵͍̓î̶̜c̶̥̓ý̷̫ ̷͈̓J̵̒ͅ ̷̞̈́&̷̧͊ ̷͇͐W̶͔̏i̷̯̔z̷̬̆ ̴͉͒K̶͗͜ḫ̷̆ạ̸̔l̶̺͗i̶͇͛f̵̛̥ă̸̱ ̷̯̔&̸̩̊ ̸͎̉T̴̡͛y̷̨̋ ̷͙̀Ḏ̵̐ö̷̠l̴̠̆l̶̙̃ȁ̸̖ ̶̙͋$̴̮̎i̸̖͘g̶̮̋n̵͉͌ ̸͍̋-̷̢̑ ̸͙͑S̴̞̋h̶͓̄e̴̯̿l̵͖̅l̶͔̉ ̸̱́S̴̫̔h̴̟̀ǫ̷́c̴͍͗k̸̲͑é̵̱d̶͍̋ -҉ ͝She̢l̵l̸ ̀S͟hoc҉k̵èd͏ (prod.͜ K͘ill̀ the ͟Noi̕şe & M͟adso͞n͡i̸k̛)̸* *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: Gasp! Bismuth: I always Bismuth: wanted to uppercut an uppercrust!
*The USSR National Anthem* Bismuth: hehehe!
*The USSR National Anthem* *you may be sorry but WE are not*
op: also its the fuckin ussr flag, not the vietnam flag Peridot: You thought we wouldn’t be here… God: WHAT’RE THOOOOOOOOSE?! *those are my crocs.* Patrick/God: LOOK AT IT!
Lapis Lazuli: That felt great! Patrick/God: LOOK AT IT! (x2) Patrick/God: LOOK AT IT! (x3) *BEEEEEEEEEP* Peridot: Check out the awesome job we did fixing up those hand ships! Peridot: Uhh… who needs thumbs? *B A S S* *ow* Yellow: We… Yellow: W-We… Yellow/Brandon Rogers: We’re bankrupt! *I. DECLARE. BANKRUPTCY!* Steven/Dan: We could be like… Like a family. Dan/Us: Awww… Arin/God: What the fuck?! Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *BEEEEEEEEEP* *Kazumi Totaka – Mii Shop Theme* *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: Cookie Cat Crystal Bubble Powers…
Pearl: Fusion…
Rainbow Quartz 2.0: Rainbow Quartz Powers… Steven/Pearl/Rainbow Quartz 2.0: ACTIVATE! *BEEEEEEEEEP*
op: so far that’s still my only three-way parallels :0 Rainbow Quartz 2.0: Ah, yes! Rainbow Quartz 2.0/Yondu: I’m Mary Poppins, y’all! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Pearl: Thank you. I’m partictularly excited about the jacket!
Adora: I can’t believe you’re still pulling such childish, immature- *BUZZ, LOOK, AN ALIEN!* *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 Baby, you’re a boy makin’ big noise 🎵 *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 Hangin’ in the street, yeah 🎵 *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 I be hanging in the street, oh lord 🎵 *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 I guarantee it, I guarantee it, I guarantee that I’m the shit 🎵 *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 I guarantee it, I guarantee it, I guarantee that I’m the shit 🎵
Sunstone: Awwwwwwwwwww *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵If you feelin’ like me, it’s about to get 🎵
Sunstone: Yeah! *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵If you feelin’ like me, it’s about to get 🎵
Sunstone: You betta *Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit*
🎵 LIT! 🎵
Sunstone: step off! (Steve Aoki & Yellow Claw – Lit)
[Drop] *BEEEEEEEEEP* negagoryx/Triöxide/Everyone: That’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. *stomp* negagoryx/Triöxide/Everyone: *squeal of despair* *And now for something completely different.* Sunstone/Sadia Arabia: Calm down! Sunstone/Sadia Arabia: It’s a relaxation! Sunstone/Sadia Arabia: Chill out! Sunstone/Sadia Arabia: Stop screa- *BEEEEEEEEEP* Sohinki/Sunstone: FLAME ON! Mari/Us: Wait, I didn’t see it! Sohinki/Garnet/Steven: Flame on. Mari/Us: Oh, yeah. Mari/Us: Captain America! Flame on! Sohinki/Garnet/Steven: It’s noy like Captain America! *It’s the rule of the MCU: if you’re the Human Torch in a shitty Fantastic Four movie, you will be redeemed* *Virtual Riot – Idols (EDM Mashup)* oof Triöxide/TheOdd2sOut: uaaaAAAAAAA- *BEEEEEEEEEP* Peridot: I rule the skies! *smack* *screaming* *more screaming* *BEEEEEEEEEP* *splat* *BEEEEEEEEEP* White Diamond: Poor Yellow… Possessed!Yellow: Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. Possessed!Yellow: She’s so strong.. Possessed!Yellow: but so weak when it comes to Blue… *thwack* Brandon/The Fandom: I WASN’T READY! *BEEEEEEEEEP* White: It’s written all over their gems. *GTA Wasted Noise* White: Insecure. *GTA Wasted Noise*
White: Dependent. *GTA Wasted Noise*
White: Obsessed… *heccin oof* Possessed!Amythest: -generous of you. Possessed!Garnet: Thank you, White Diamond!
Rebecca Sugar: Hey, [Fandom]. Possessed!Garnet: We feel so much better now!
The Fandom: No, thank you! Possessed!Pearl: I feel excellent!
The Fandom: No, thANK YOU! The Fandom: NO THANK YOU! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: No. You’re wrong! Steven: I’m not my mom! White: But don’t you know things about her that you couldn’t possibly know? Jacksfilms/Us/Steven: I don’t like this question. *BEEEEEEEEEP* Lady Gaga/The Fandom: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, showstop- *U go Connie* Connie: Huh? Connie: Aah! Ghost: Mission failed. Ghost: We’ll get ’em next time! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Shane Dawson: This is food you eat when you see Jesus, and you’re like, Shane: “Lord, take me now.” Shane: I don’t wanna have to swallow this. *BEEEEEEEEEP* White: This has gone on long enough. Robbie Rotten: Don’t let your kids watch it! *he was Number One* Connie: It’s okay, Mom! Connie: This is going to be a diplomatic mission! *chuckle* Chrish/God: That is not correct. Chrish/God: That is not correct.
Connie: NO! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Peter Parker/Everyone: What just happened? *me @ Sony and Disney* Connie: Steven, please! Connie: Steven, wake u-up! Connie: Look at me! Please! John Cena/Everyone: Are you sure about that? *BEEEEEEEEEP*
op: how tf did they let this slide *IT’S FUCKING COOKIE CAT REBECCA YOU SON OF A BITCH* *:O* Pink!Steven/Poe Dameron: So who talks first? You talk first? I talk first? *BEEEEEEEEEP* White: What is this? Where is Pink? Pink!Steven: She’s gone. White: What did you say?! *Crab Rave starts up* White: Answer me! *3, 2, 1* Pink!Steven: She’s Noisestorm – Crab Rave (Triöxide’s “SHE’S GONE” Edit)
Pink!Steven: GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO-GO (to the beat) *Double time!* White: Where is Pink? Pink!Steven: She’s gone. White: What did you say?! White: Answer me! Pink!Steven/Stanley: Did I stutter?! *Triple time!* Pink!Steven: She’s gone. White: What did you say?! White: Answer me! Pink!Steven: If she breathes, she’s a Pink!Steven: T̨͚͙̫̗̱H̺͖̘̬̗O͖̯̞OO̷̥͕͕̫O̟͎̜̮̞̟ͅ-̸̯̰̘̯̝̯̰ *Quadruple time!* White: What did you say?! White: Answer me! Pink!Steven: She’s Pink!Steven: G̳͖̩O͖-͍̗̞̙̤̬͙Ò̝̫͔-͉̯̀O̗̰̼̪ͅ-̥̭̱͖̤̞͈Ò̪-͙͜Ơ̳̮̙̯͍-̴̥͖͕͓̰̻O̰͎̗͙̼̳͇-̮̮̥̜͢ͅÓ͖N̩̦̝E͍̖̖̼̭̯!͇̰̺̺̮̺!͍̩͚̘̙̺̹!̴͖̺͉̻!̢!̲̼̱̪̞́!̥!͍̼̜̗̗̞ *Pizza Time.* White: Answer me! Pink!Steven: She’s Pearl: 🎵 Goooooone! 🎵 *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: *laughing happily* James Baxter the Horse: Jaames Baaxter!
Steven and Pink!Steven: *laughing happily* BMO: *laughing*
Steven and Pink!Steven: *laughing happily* *Same animator*
op: all of you are going on r/woooosh, none of you are free of sin PewDiePie: Where were you… when this happened? *BEEEEEEEEEP* Connie: Steven! Grunkle Stan/The Fandom: Oh, this- Grunkle Stan/The Fandom: This is beautiful! *BEEEEEEEEEP* White: You do not LOOK like this! White: You do not SOUND like this! White: You are NOT half-human you’re just… White: a-acting like a child! Steven: I *am* a child. Steven: What’s your excuse? *Crowd losing their shit* *BEEEEEEEEEP* Pink Pearl: Wha-What happened? Pink Pearl: Where am I? Steven/Ron Strickland: You got knocked the fuck out. *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: You know, if you just let everyone be whoever they are… Steven: Maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are, too. MrBeast/Everyone: Truer words have never been spoken.
White: But I’m not supposed to be like this! *BEEEEEEEEEP* White: I’m supposed to make everything better! Steven: You can! Steven: But first, you’re gonna have to leave your own head. *click* *BOOM* *what a god-tier pun* Travis Scott – Sicko Mode (ft. Drake) [Skrillex Remix]
🎵 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah 🎵 Travis Scott – Sicko Mode (ft. Drake) [Skrillex Remix]
🎵 Gone on you with the pick and roll 🎵 Travis Scott – Sicko Mode (ft. Drake) [Skrillex Remix]
🎵 Young LaFlame, he in sicko mode… 🎵 *Alex Geringas – Voltron: Legendary Defender Theme Song* *Brad Breeck also did Gravity Falls, which is heavenly music*
op note: Brad did write for VLD, but Alex wrote the actual theme song God: Uh ohh, spaghettios… *CLONE WARS* Rhodonite: No more running! No more hiding! No more Diamond Authority! Rhodonite/PewDiePie: Well, shit. *BEEEEEEEEEP* Padparadscha: Aah! It’s the Diamonds! Diamonds: [Gasp] *BEEEEEEEEEP* Christine Sydelko/Half of the Fandom: We literally have to call them Cosmo and Wanda. Elijah Daniel/The Other Half: Oh, that’s so perfect! Christine Sydelko/The First Half: We-We have- *BEEEEEEEEEP* *cheering* Steven: Thanks Sadie… Swedish House Mafia – Save The World (KLOUD Cover)
*rising music* oof Triöxide/TheOdd2sOut: uaaaAAAAAAA- *BEEEEEEEEEP*
op: highly recommend checking out KLOUD btw Jason Derulo – Wiggle (ft. Snoop Dogg)
🎵 Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle 🎵 Jason Derulo – Wiggle (ft. Snoop Dogg)
*flute* Jason Derulo – Wiggle (ft. Snoop Dogg)
🎵 Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle 🎵 *BEEEEEEEEEP* Al*x J*nes: I don’t like ’em puttin’ chemicals in the water that TURNS THE FRIGGIN [GEMS] GAY! Al*x J*nes: ENH! ENH! ENH! Al*x J*nes: It’s crap! *BEEEEEEEEEP* Yellow/Nick Fury: I got my eye on you. *BEEEEEEEEEP* *Megalovania – Toby Fox (Undertale OST) *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven: I had an idea! Well, a song idea, but also an idea idea! Garnet: Let’s hear it. Amythest: Yeah!
Pearl: Yes, please! des pa CITO Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee – Despacito (ft. Justin Bieber)
🎵 Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito 🎵 Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee – Despacito (ft. Justin Bieber)
🎵 Deja que te diga cosas al oído 🎵 *BEEEEEEEEEP* PewDiePie/Triöxide: Now, do we have time for Bonus Meme? PewDiePie/Triöxide: The moment we’ve all been waiting for! *clap* *BEEEEEEEEEP* *Spinel laughter* Composerily/Triöxide: FUUU- *BEEEEEEEEEP* Steven Universe: The Movie/Kylo Ren: We’re not done yet. *BEEEEEEEEEP*
op: and that’s where the next vid starts 😉

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