God: Previously on [Triöxide’s Variety Channel]… Kylo Ren/The Movie: We’re not done yet. *ticking* Steven: How’s it goin’, everybody? Jacksfilms: So, let’s just jump into it! *BEEEEEEP* White Diamond/2012!Cap: Once upon a time, the Gem Home- 2023!Cap/Us: Yeah, I know! I know. *those are America’s Gems* White Diamond: I’m pleased to announce that Steven is finally ready White: to take his rightful place on Pink Diamond’s throne! *drum roll* Steven/Christine Sydelko: HA! BITCH, YOU THOUGHT. *BEEEEEEP* Sir G O/Us: It’s a fuckin’ [gem laywer]! Sir G O/Us: NOOOOOOOOO! *gasp of distress* Sir G O/Us: Oh, shit! [They’re] right there. *BEEEEEEP* Steven: -and saving all your planets, Steven: I can’t wait to get home… Steven: I can’t wait to get home…
CinemaSins: *BEEEEEEP* White: Cut the feed! Yellow Pearl: Your time is up anyway. *chik* *DAB* *BEEEEEEP* [Katy Perry – Unconditionally]
The Diamonds:🎵 I will love you unconditionally 🎵 *Diamonds are aunts And grandmas, confirmed* Steven/Judge Doom: You see, I [joined the Diamond Authority], Steven/Judge Doom: so I could dismantle it. *BEEEEEEP* *kiss* Connie: Okay! *cute shit right there* Steven: 🎵 -always be in an endless battle 🎵 *Fist of the North Star Organ Explosion Sound.mp3* *BEEEEEEP* Pearl: Steven! Pearl: I’m learning to play the “b𝒶𝓈𝓈”. [Gemmy Billy Bass Animatronic Fish – Don’t Worry, Be Happy]
🎵 Here’s a little song I wrote 🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Greg: You’re the boss! *Steven giggles* Pearl: Heck yes I am! Captain America: Language! *closest we’ve gotten to Pearl saying “fuck”* 🎵 -ever left! 🎵 Senor Chang/Us: HA!
🎵 -ever left! 🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Brad Pitt’s character from Se7en/God/Anyone who noticed: WHAT’S IN THE FUCKING BOX?! *BEEEEEEP* [Sister Sledge – We Are Family[ [Sister Sledge – We Are Family]
🎵 We are family! 🎵 *BEEEEEEP* CinemaSins: *BEEEEEEP* Steven: How’s the future look, Garnet? Steven: Do we all just stay like this forever? Garnet: No. [Black Tiger Sex Machine – The Virus (Intro)] *BEEEEEEP*
op note: bonus points for actually finding that song 👏👏 Spinel: HEY! Are you Steven Universe? Steven: Um… no. *applause* *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: Perfect.! [Rl Grime – Core]
*INTENSE HORN* *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: I just love that part, Spinel: where Pink Diamond spends the rest of her days on this… Spinel: on this… Spinel: NOWHERE planet, Spinel: with a BUNCH Spinel: of Spinel: NOBODIES!!!! *oof* Triöxide/Odd2sOut: uuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA *YouTube Copyright Algorithm: NOW THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR ME* Spinel: 🎵 That’s right I heard the story,
don’t really like how it ends! 🎵 [Ed Sheeran & Travis Scott – Antisocial]
Pearl: 🎵 DON’TTOUCHME 🎵 *T R I G G E R E D* Spinel: 🎵 …frieeeennnndddddddddddssssssss 🎵 *triple explosion* *Rejuvinator crackles* Odd1sOut/Rebecca Sugar: Are you still with me? Odd1sOut/Rebecca Sugar: Good. We’re not even [fifteen minutes] in. *BEEEEEEP* Steven: *laugh* That was nothing! Spinel: *snicker* Spinel: Then I guess you won’t mind if I do it AGAIN! The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon Narrator: And AGAIN. And AGAIN. And AGA- *They’re making that into an actual movie, by the way. It’s called “Ginosaji”*
op: bruh what Greg: I came as fast as I could! Are you okay? Greg: Holy SHHH- Cap: Language! *Greg: Oh, you gotta be shittin’ me…* BnL Ship Computer/Pearl: Voice Authorization required. Captain B. McCrea/Greg: Uhh… BnL Ship Computer/Pearl: “Uhh…” BnL Ship Computer/Pearl: Accepted. *BEEEEEEP* Pearl: 🎵 A precious Sapphire! 🎵 Pearl/Mickey: That’s a surprise tool that can help us later! *Ahh nostalgia* Ruby: As my sworn duty and sole purpose, I will protect you with my life! Sapphire/Actually Obama: I know you will. *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Hey, Amethyst? Amethyst: Hey, Amethyst? Steven: What?! No, YOU’RE Amethyst! Amethyst: What?! No, YOU’RE Amethyst! *well shit you got em there* Pearl: 🎵 [Her] cut is perfect and she’s pink as well! 🎵 [Caravan Palace – Lone Digger plays in the background]
🎵 She’ll bring you endless- 🎵 *What a BOP* Pearl: 🎵 Spinel! 🎵 Steven/Soulja Boy: 🎵 YOU 🎵 [Soulja Boy – Crank That]
Steven: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US?! *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Here she is. Steven: My new best friend, Spinel. Bismuth: I thought you said she was *just* trying to kill you! Steven/Drake: You calling me a liar?! Bismuth/Josh: I ain’t calling you a truther! *Dan Schneider: Gonna yeet mah meet to some feet.*
op: another jacksfilms reference, i like you 🔥👏 Lapis: Wow. Quick turnaround. Peridot: No kidding! It took me months to stop trying to kill Steven. Bismuth: I’d say it took me a day? Day and a half? Lapis: I’m still on the fence. [laughter] Brandon Rogers/Steven: Bro, what the fu-?! *BEEEEEEP* Bismuth: One hit with this… Bismuth/Will Smith: It’s rewind time! *BEEEEEP* *music that sounds oddly similar to the Voltron theme song*
(feat. pluck bells that should be in a remix) Steven: Garnet would know what to do… *BEEEEEEP* Bismuth: 🎵 That’s why I believe in them🎵 Bismuth: 🎵 And I believe in 🎵 Bismuth/Soulja Boy: 🎵 YOU 🎵 *Anybody remember Soulja Falls?* *SSB intro*
Steven, Bismuth, Lapis & Peridot:🎵 We’ll find a way🎵 *SSB intro*
Steven, Bismuth, Lapis & Peridot:🎵 to save the day🎵 *SSB intro*
Steven, Bismuth, Lapis & Peridot:🎵 That’s who we are!🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Steven: I can’t threaten them with this! Peridot: Hmmmm… Here! [LIL TEXAS – TEXCORE CHAINSAW MASSACRE]
[Intro] [LIL TEXAS – TEXCORE CHAINSAW MASSACRE]
Peridot: NOW IT’S MUCH MORE THREATENING! *BEEEEEEP* Ruby: Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! *MGS “!” sound* Ruby/asdfmovie cop: HEY! You got a license for that?! *BEEEEEEP* Sapphire: Hijinks will ensue. [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax]
Steven: No, no, no, no, no! Don’t touch that thing! [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax]
Spinel: *noises* [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax]
Bismuth: Hey! We just built that! [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax]
Spinel: *More noises* [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax]
Peridot: Oh, here she comes! [James Q. Rich & Boots Randolph – Yakety Sax] *BEEEEEEP* Peridot: I got this, Biz! Bizmuth: Nice work, Perido-! Bizmuth: Oh, SH-! Cap: LANGUAGE. *Sam: Are you ever gonna stop doing that?*
*Cap: No. No, I don’t think I will.* Bizmuth: Oh, no-hoo! Bizmuth: The Heaven and Earth Beetles are out for their afternoon constitutional! Lapis: M͏͇̟̘̳̫͇ŔS҉̰̦͈͇͙ͅͅ.̨ ̖[̥̟͘B̟̟͓̼͕̝̕ͅE͕̱E̥͎̘͕̘̳T̙̬̻̬͕̙ͅLE̙̞͉]̶̼̬̜̣,̩̦̗̯̠͍̕ ͍̠̜͚G͙͙͞Ẹ̢T҉͈̞͚̹̣͉ D͍͠O̹̲̙̥ͅW̮͕̹N̰̯̜͖̝ͅ!҉͇̪̗ *B͉̳̙͚̱͙̟̩͕̟̲̰͕̞͔͖̯͊̂̇̓ͨ̔ͤ͋̉̆̊̆̋̿͟͡͞O̤̩͔̞̰͈̠͍̐ͬ̃͌ͪ̍ͣ͟Ǒ̜̙̺̰ͤ̐̓̈̎̋̈ͧ̕͞M̷̙̻̺͈͉̹̤̰͓̩͎̮͔̲̭̍ͦ̀́͘͢ͅ* *You did it, Lapis. You’ve ended racism.* [Spicy Tuna – Synthetic Design 02 (Slow Mo Guys Music)] *…whoa,* Steven: Everyone’s memories are wiped and my powers are all messed up! We need your help! Steven: What should we do, Garnet?! Kazoo Kid/Cotton Candy!Garnet: Wait a minute. Who ARE you? *BEEEEEEP* *”A Thousand Miles”, but it’s doots for Spooktober* Pearl: Attention, everyone! *That performance deserves a grammy* [“No Matter What” instrumental break] Waka Flocka: *panicked inhale* Okay. *”You listen to Waka Flocka at all?*
*”Is that a band or a song?”*
*”That’s a… a man.”* [“No Matter What” instrumental break] Ronaldo/ Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *Ronaldo!Amethyst: Oh, I don’t think so.* *Brawl intro again* *BEEEEEEP* *Kill Bill sirens* *WEE yoop* Amethyst: What are Amethyst/Soulja Boy: 🎵YOUU🎵 Amethyst: doing here?! *BEEEEEEP* Peridot: Get away from me! I can’t stand to see you all vacant and bereft of personality! Amethyst: Yo, I’m back, you dip- Cap: LANGUA- *BEEEEEEP* op: it didn’t but waterworks records did for the other friends bit :/ Peridot: We have to find a way to move it, without touching it! Michael/Some people: That’s what she said! Michael/Some people: hahahahahaha! *BEEEEEEP* Steven: None of us had ever even heard of her before! Steven: Except- Steven: Pearl! Steven: Pearl knew her! asdfmovie old man/Pearl: YOU DARN KIDS GET OFF MY PROPERTY! *BEEEEEEP* Greg: PEARL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Greg: We need those for the show! Greg: We need those for the show!
CinemaSins: *BEEEEEEP* Steven: To stop it, we need Spinel back, and to do *that*, we need Pearl back, Steven: and to do *that*, we need our missing pieces. Amethyst: Like a rock show! Steven: Like a rock show! Kronk/Everyone who’s catching on: Oh, yeah. It’s all coming together. *BEEEEEEP* Sadie: Who’s here because it’s THE END OF THE WORLD!? Lars: Wait, WHAT!? [R.E.M – It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)]
🎵It’s the end of the world as we know it🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Amethyst: You know, her original boss; the love of her life? Ryland: [Incoherent] *BEEEEEEP* Kevin/Triöxide: I’M OUT! op: wasn’t about to watch Amethyst do all that again [Black Sabbath – Iron Man]
[Opening riff] *Oh, I love Led Zepplin!*
op: chose that bc the opening riff sounded identical lmao Pearl: UmGreg?! Spinel: STEVEN?! Donkey: DONKEY!! *BEEEEEEP* Steg/Elvis Presley: Hm? anyway here’s wonderwall *BEEEEEEP* [Lil Nas X – Old Town Road]
🎵Riiide till I can’t no more🎵 [Lil Nas X – Old Town Road]
🎵I got the horses in the back-🎵 *BEEEEEEP* [Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now]
Pearl/Freddie: Don’t. stop. me, [Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now]
Pearl/Freddie: ‘Cause I’m, [Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now]
Pearl/Freddie: Havin’ a good time! [Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now]
Pearl/Freddie: HAVIN’ A GOOD TIME! (x2) [Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now]
Pearl/Freddie: I’m a shooting star leapin’ through the skyyyyy *BEEEEEEP* *Brawl again* *BEEEEEEP* Steg: 🎵It’s my fault, it’s my thought, it’s my words, it’s my voice🎵 *Essentially everyone’s reaction* *Essentially everyone’s reaction*
Opal: 🎵Independent together-🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Garden? Pearl: That’s where they used to play! Amethyst: So what’s her problem with us?! Pearl:I don’t know! Pearl: I haven’t seen her in 6000 years. CinemaSins: *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Spinel? Steven: What’s wrong? Spinel/Tobuscus: I’m having a ball. Spinel/Tobuscus: What do you think? *BEEEEEEP* Doctor Strange/Steven: Let me guess. Doctor Strange/Steven: Your home? Thanos/Spinel: It was. *Reality Stone activation sound* Thanos/Spinel: And it was beautiful. *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: Blue and Yellow gave pink her very own planet! Spinel: Earth! Pink Diamond/Anthony Smosh: Come on, you’re embarrassing me. *BEEEEEEP* Pink/Michael Vsauce: I’m gonna do what’s called a “pro-gamer move.” *Pink. Why.* Spinel: 🎵Counting the seconds, standing alone, 🎵 Spinel: 🎵as thousands of years go by🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: 🎵 Isn’t that lovely? 🎵 Spinel: 🎵 Isn’t that cool?🎵 Spinel: 🎵 And isn’t that cruel?🎵 Spinel: 🎵 And aren’t I fool-?🎵 iDubbbz/The Fandom: Hey, everyone, type “[Pink Diamond’s] a [trick-ass bitch] in chat!” *BEEEEEEP* *guess who’s back. back again. best cry’s back. tell a friend.*
Spinel: 🎵Happily watching her-🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Mittens/Spinel: They act like they love you. They act like they’ll be there forever. Mittens/Spinel: And then one day, they’ll pack up all their stuff and move away, Mittens/Spinel: and take their love with them! Mittens/Spinel: AND LEAVE THEIR [GOVERNMENT-SANCTIONED PLAYMATE] BEHIND TO FEND FOR HERSELF! op: btw there was an instrumental cover of “When She Loved Me” in the background as a triple whammy 😉 [Owl City – I Found Love]
Spinel: 🎵I🎵 [Owl City – I Found Love]
Spinel: 🎵found🎵 [Owl City – I Found Love]
Spinel: 🎵love.🎵 [Owl City – I Found Love]
[Instrumental breakdown] op: stivel shippers are getting banned Amethyst: If he finds her, he’ll come back here, right? *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Ta-daa! Garbodor/Pearl:Oh My GOOOOOOOOD! *BEEEEEEP* *brawl intro Again* *BEEEEEEP* Connie: I’m here! Where’s the fight?! Steven: Don’t fight! Everything’s Chill! Greg/John Cena in the bathroom: Are You Sure About That? *BEEEEEEP* Greg: Alright! Alright! I’ll wash my hands. Everyone else: DIS-GUS-THANG! *BEEEEEEP* [Rl Grime – Core]
*INTENSE HORN #2* *BEEEEEEP* *premature celebration* Connie: Okay, can someone fill me in? God/Dr. Robotnik: No, but thank you for asking! *Jim Carrey’s gonna live up to his name and carry that fuckin’ movie* Spinel: I-I-I did what you wanted. Spinel: That’s it? Steven: Well… yeah! *a synchronized facepalm from the rest of the fandom* *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: What’s your plan for me, huh? Spinel: You gonna put me somewhere? Spinel: You’re gonna *leave* me somewhere? Spinel: YOU’RE GONNA LEAVE ME ALONE??? Steven/Finn: No! Nononono! *BEEEEEEP* *insane laughter* Spinel: Wow! WHAT A PLAN!
Catra: You ALWAYS have to go and RUIN it! *My babies* Spinel: You’re not getting rid of me THAT easy! [Rl Grime – Core]
*INTENSE HORN #3* *BEEEEEEP* Steve/Afrojack: *facepalms* Adora/Laidback Luke: Welcome to my life. op: another niche ass EDM humor edit What Else Is New Steven: I wasn’t going to wipe your memories, Spinel! Spinel/Peridot: LIAR! *BEEEEEEP* [Billie Eilish – bad guy w/ Tiësto’s “Big Room” Remix]
Spinel: Innocent, loving… [Billie Eilish – bad guy]
Spinel/Billie:🎵I’m the bad guy.🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Steven/Lance: DON’T YOU TOUCH HER! *BEEEEEEP* Steven: NO! Spinel: WHY NOT!? Steven: BECAUSE THAT’S NOT THE TRU- *that spongebob explosion* *BEEEEEEP* Cotton Candy!Garnet: The truth.. *SSB: B AGAIN* *BEEEEEEP* Cotton Candy!Garnet: The truth.. Garnet/Ms. Kesha’s Friend: I’m a BAD BITCH! You can’t kill me! *(in a Heisenberg voice) You’re goddamn right.* [Rl Grime – Core]
*INTENSE HORN #4* *BEEEEEEP* Steven: *I’ll* deal with Spinel. Amethyst: She’ll crush you, dude. Pearl: You can’t fight her. Steven/Brandon Rogers: Try me, bitch. *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Huh?! [Alex Geringas – Voltron Legendary Defenders Opening Theme] *BEEEEEEP* Greg/The Black Knight: -Just a flesh wound! *’Tis but a scratch!* Lady Gaga/The Fandom/Connie Stans: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing… *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Spinel. Steven: This isn’t A GAME! *GTA snapshot sound* *ambient rising tone* *THONK* *BEEEEEEP* Steven/Adora: Look what’s happening! Steven/Adora: You’re going to destroy everything! Spinel/Catra: I don’t! CARE! Spinel/Catra: I WON’T let you win! Spinel/Catra: I’d rather see the whole WORLD end than let that happen! *This November 5th, get ready to get hurt again.*
op: I don’t even think I’m gonna get a video out in time from all the emotional hurt and college work ;; Cast of Annie (2014) – It’s the Hard Knock Life (Annie OST) Cast of Annie (2014) – It’s the Hard Knock Life (Annie OST)
Steven/Cast -🎵It’s the hard knock LIFE!🎵 *BEEEEEEP* *BRAWL* *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: THIS BITCH EMPTY- YEET *BEEEEEEP* Steven: 🎵 You can make a change… 🎵 Spinel/Jasper: STOP SINGING! *Season 6 Redemption Arc bay-bee* Spinel: You can’t just make everything better by singing SOME STUPID SONG! Spinel: 🎵 I’ve already found someone! 🎵 *Kaecilius, distantly: *ʜʏᴘᴏᴄʀɪᴛᴇ* Spinel: I used to be just not good enough! Spinel: Just not good enough for Pink, but now… Spinel: 𝘯𝘰𝘸… Spinel: I’M NOT GOOD AT ALL!!! [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)] [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)]
Spinel: *starts laughing* [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)]
Spinel: *starts laughing*
Steven: Huh? [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)]
Spinel: *laughing* Spinel: That’s funny, r-right? Spinel: A-At least *you* found me entertaining… [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)] Spinel: You actually… liked me, didn’t you? [Hans Zimmer – S.T.A.Y (Interstellar OST)] Spinel: What am I doing? Spinel: *starts sobbing* Spinel: Why do I wanna hurt you so bad? Spinel: I’m supposed to be a friend. Spinel: 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥! *Matthew McConaughey/The Fandom lets out the second best cry ever* *BEEEEEEP* *BEWMMMM* (Alternate ending 2 Found) *BEEEEEEP* Patrick/God: LOOK AT IT! *AGAIN? THESE TWO ARE GONNA BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. * Spinel: I’ve wrecked everything! Steven: Well, that’s one way to get rid of your injector… CinemaSins: *BEEEEEEP* Spinel/Asriel: [I’m so sorry] *BEEEEEEP* Steven: Dad! Your arm! Greg/The Black Knight: It’s just a flesh wound! *A SCRATCH?! YOUR ARM’S OFF!* Amethyst: It’d be cool If you could do that to the whole planet, heh. iDubbbz/Steven: That’s not a bad idea! Amethyst: Dude, I was joking! *BEEEEEEP* *FINAL BRAWL* *BEEEEEEP* Blue: [Anyway], we were talking and we decided– White: This is taking too long! White: Steven, we’ve come to Earth to live with- White/Soulja Boy: 🎵 YOU 🎵 *BEEEEEEP* Blue: Not that we’re judging. White: Goodness, no! White: Because judging anything based on appearance White: Is wrong! White, fifteen seconds ago: Has your planet always been this… *does that hand thing* White, fifteen seconds ago: …destroyed? Steven: Yeah, I don’t know about this. *they’re trying their best* Peter B. Parker/Steven: What are you doing?! Miles Morales/White: Making you feel guilty. Miles/White: Is it workin’? *Steven/Peter B.: HAAAAAAA-* Steven: Aw, come on. Don’t be like that! Steven: I-It’s just- Steven: I’m right in the middle of saying goodbye to- Markiplier/Steven’s Brain: Aw yeah. Markiplier/Steven’s Brain: This is big brain time. *BEEEEEEP* Lapis: Why don’t you put that corn in a mirror for thousands of years, and *then* see how it feels about the table?!
Spinel: Hah, it was only 6,000 years! I could do that standing on my head! Lapis: Why don’t you put that corn in a mirror for thousands of years, and *then* see how it feels about the table?!
Spinel: *squeaky boots* Lapis + Peridot: *laughing hysterically*
Yellow: *also in hysterics* *BEEEEEEP* Spinel: It was only six thousand years! I could do that standing on my head! *squeak squeak* Yellow: *breaks down in laughter* Donald Glover/Yellow: It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true! *BEEEEEEP* Frosta: I’m eleven and three quarters.
Yellow: What are you doing, Blue? Frosta: AHAHA!
Yellow: -that goofy handstand! Frosta: “DROPPING IN”!
Yellow: -that goofy handstand! Frosta: “DROPPING IN”!
Yellow: *laughs and draws a tear* Frosta: Cause you dropped in from the sky!
Yellow: *laughs and draws a tear* Frosta: Good one!
Yellow: I like this gem! *BEEEEEEP* [Katy Perry – Unconditionally (Reprise)]
🎵 So open up your heart and let it begin 🎵 *BEEEEEEP* *applause* *BEEEEEEP* Steven:🎵Here we are in the future and it’s bright🎵 Steven: 🎵Happily ever after, there we were!🎵 Steven, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst & Connie: 🎵And here we Are!🎵 [Toby Fox – Last Goodbye (Undertale OST)] *BEEEEEEP* Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl:
And it’s bright (6x) [Madeon – Finale (feat. Nicholas Petricca)]
🎵BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE GRAND FINALE🎵 [Madeon – Finale (feat. Nicholas Petricca)]
[Drop] *BEEEEEEP* Steven: 🎵I’ll be ready everyday!🎵 *WHERE’S JASPER, LAPIS, AND PERIDOT?* Steven: 🎵That’s why…🎵 Steven: 🎵Happily ever after,🎵 Steven: 🎵never🎵 Steven: 🎵ends…🎵 *Shia LaBeouf claps for 14 seconds*