Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The BEST Mormon Jokes (Submitted by YOU!)


So three Mormon nights we asked you
about your favorite Mormon jokes and look I know this shows cheesy okay I
know it’s cheesy but these jokes were I mean they were Velveeta cheesy. This is
this it is a new level. I’m gonna read these and it’s going to
physically harm me, okay? I’m going to be physically harmed reading these jokes.
Let’s start here. So we asked you on Instagram and on Facebook to comment your favorite Mormon jokes and we’ve picked out some and we’re gonna read
them here. JaySissling71 said A mom is looking around the sanctuary for her son noticing he is nowhere in sight so if she goes out to the foyer and sees
him sitting in the sofa pouting the mom walks over to him and says come on son
time to go in the sacrament is about to start. The son looks up at mom and says I’m not going in there no one likes me.
The mother wrapping her arms around her son and lifts his chin up with her
fingers and says sweetie you have to go in you’re the bishop. That was a good one
that was that was a dead one if anything but that was a good one. GracieMayAdam said how many Relief Society members does it take to change a
lightbulb four, one to bring the refreshments wanted to bring a table and
decorations, one to bring a spiritual thought and the other to screw in the
light bulb. Does anyone need an ark built because I know a guy. That was by SimplyTrinity. Smootwho11 said, hey girl I think you and I could make goodly
parents. Oh! That’s a sex joke cut, cut, cut. The Pope, a Jehovah’s Witness minister, and the Prophet are all in a
boat and the Pope tells the Jehovah’s Witness that because they believe in God
they should be able to walk on water. To prove his point the Pope jumps down
from the boat and starts to walk across the surface of the water to the shore
the Prophet joins him as he climbs down and walked across the water
the jehovah’s witness jumps off the boat and splashes into the water the Pope
turns the prophet and says should we tell them about the stepping stones
under the surface of the water and the Prophet says what stones. Oh that’s
really mean. That’s a horrible joke. LDS DaVinci you’re a very clever man though.
The talks on talks podcast said what do you call a giant lizard destroying Salt
Lake City, Goshzilla. Cool Kylee 3000, why do you
Mormons cross the street? To do temple work for the people on the other side. That’s just kind of an accurate statement we you have to use you cross
the street to get to the temple and you do temple work for people that didn’t
have much of a punch line it was more of a declarative statement.
Good job cool Kylie. Brayden Howard Chamberlain commented on Facebook Jesus, Moses and an old men went to play golf together. Moses went first and hit a nice
ball but it landed in the water don’t worry he said as he parted the water hit
the ball again and down the hole it went hole in two. Jesus was up next he hit a
ball as well but like Moses has landed in the water
fear not he said as he walked in the water levitated the ball and hit it in
the hole pulling two as well. The old man was up next he also hit a nice ball
but like the other two was headed for the water then just as it was about to
hit the water a fish jumped up and swallowed it then before the fish hit
the water a bird snapped a fish and flew away into the air shortly thereafter a
plane collided with the bird which dropped the fish would split out the
ball and the ball landed in the hole hole in one. At this point Moses turned to
Jesus explained this is why I hate playing with your dad. Be nice these are
our fans. Abellana said are you leaving sword because you’re exceedingly fine. The Tree of Life called he wants its
sweetness back it’s also grab Elena Oh another one Aballina hey girl wanna hold the priesthood, come come give me a hug.
Aballina are you Gadiantonrobber cuz you
just stole my heart. Abelena, even with the Liahona I’d get lost in your eyes. I
should call it oh wait do you guys remember Sabrina Christensen?
Hey Sabrina, why are you whispering? Can you go into
the hallway for a second? Just so you know you’re live on 3 Mormons right
now so come into the hallway because I’ve to ask you a question. Sabrina um just gonna ask you a couple
questions here. Are you Laban sword because you’re exceedingly fine. Well, it
was really really cute because the Tree of Life called it wants its sweetness
back. Hey, can I hold your hand cause I wanna see what it’s like to hold the priesthood? Are you a Gadianton Robber cause you just stole my heart. It’s okay
because even with the Liahona I’d get lost in your eyes. Hey you wanna go on a date? No answer. Live from the BYU library. Sabrina why would you put me on the spot like that. You put me on the spot like that and then you came at me with all these great pickup lines. It’s true these are very good pickup lines. By the way Sabrina you know when you
were on this show and we still will invite you back but you don’t come on.
You know we did that one episode do you guys have read all those comments that
we’re trying to ship her and I together. You’re on it right now. We’ll bring you on, say bye Sabrina. Bye-bye. Blanca Amazo said a date with me is like the temple and you have a recommend. I was reading The Book of
Numbers last night and I realize I don’t have yours look at this photograph all
the memories man laughs. I would leave 99 sheep and come find you. Outdoors puppets fit said, great page keep it up. That wasn’t a joke you just the same isn’t
it’s a compliment Oh Mr. Defense trader hey girl you’re so smoking you break the
word of wisdom. Our wonderful cameraman Tyson said why do missionaries always cross their legs because they only have one p day a week. Well guys
those are some of the good Mormon jokes. We could guys commented and me doing
weird things thanks so much for watching Tell me what you want to see comment
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56 thoughts on “The BEST Mormon Jokes (Submitted by YOU!)

  1. What does our looooooong name mean?
    Why are missionaries so young?
    Why do missionaries and other members live by so many rules?
    Why do we call each other brother and sister?
    Are Mormons Christian?
    The power of ptayer
    It not "perfect", will you burn?
    Seek education
    Are prophets necessary?
    Does God have chosen people?
    Why do we pay tithing?
    Th importance of families
    I wanted to start YouTube channel, so I got a lot of topics. But, my voice goes hourse pretty quick. So I'll stick with comments!

  2. I want an episode on experiences of being a missionary. Good, bad, funny, or spiritual stories/experiences that happened on your mission. 🙂

  3. Did you hear about the group at BYU that was opposed to people wearing denim shorts on campus?

    They called themselves the Anti-kneehigh-Levis!

  4. I have some questions about sealing. What happens if a child is sealed to the parents but then the parents remarry and the child comes to see a step parent as being as much a parent to them as their biological parents? Can they be sealed to the step parent as well? But if so, how would they all be together eternally if the parents are part of two separate families who don't want to be together. Similarly, what happens if an adopted child is sealed to their adoptive parents, but later comes to be close to the biological parents as well, and thinks of them all equally as their parents? And what happens to a child if their parents divorce? How can they be sealed to the parents if the parents have their sealing cancelled and become sealed to new partners? What if a child is sealed to an abusive parent, or a spouse to an abusive spouse? And what happens if someone's spouse dies and they remarry and get sealed to their new spouse? Are they no longer sealed to their original spouse? Also, what if you were sealed to a family member but they did something horrible, like murder or something, and they went to a different place from you, like not to the same part of heaven? I don't understand how any of this would work and I'd like to.

  5. How about an episode on becoming a God? If we are all children of God we will all be God someday, right? Tons of sons!! What about an episode on how to avoid conflict by saying " I know Joseph Smith is a Prophet" when you don't, that would be funny. Appearances and appearances! We must all look good just like the Jews did. If asked a difficult question, just smile and say Holy Sh** , I have no idea and nobody in authority will help me. That is comedy.

  6. Favorite Mormon Joke

    Alberta is known for being a rat free province but has many Mormons.
    The neighbour province called Saskatchewan has a terrible problem with rats but very few Mormons

    A in depth study was made as to the reason. All studies came to the conclusion that Saskatchewan got to pick first.

  7. My bishop Jokes

    1. Bishop is so tall he gets permission from NASA to land.

    2. Bishop is so tall clouds listen.

    3. Bishop is so tall he high fived Christ.

    4. Bishop is so tall birds re·route their flight plan.

    5 bishop is so tall he's a forest all by himself to tee trunks with legs.

    5. Bishop is so tall fear got up and left my body

    6. Bishop is so tall the movie top gun thinks he's bussing the tower.

    7. Bishops so tall he makes an F14 look like a model air plan

  8. How many mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Zero. Mormons dont use lightbulbs because they cant see the light.

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