Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Best of Elka (Compilation) | Hot In Cleveland


(audience laughing) You didn’t see this. You didn’t see this. (audience laughing) (police sirens blaring) Huh, wonder what that’s about. I’m not here. (audience laughing) Wait, the police are looking for you? What police? (audience laughing) Let me ask you something. What’s the deal with old
ladies and tracksuits? It’s simple, in your
20s you dress for men, in your 40s you dress for success, in your 80s you dress for the bathroom. (audience laughing) Question, favorite medication? (audience laughing) Ah, that’s a tough one. All things considered, I think I’m gonna have to say Celebrex. (audience laughing) Celebrex, nice. I’m an Allopurinol man myself. Ooh, gout, somebody likes to party. (audience laughing) Ever go to Canada for your discount meds? Do I? I’m on a first name basis
with all the border guards. Me too, we should carpool next time. (audience laughing) Is it possible that you
are the perfect woman? Well, I’d say it’s very possible. I’m a little nervous. Or maybe it’s just
staring at that rat’s nest that Joy calls a hairdo. (audience laughing) It’s so unsettling. Your nerves are making you unpleasant. Yes, but I can fix that
by finishing this wine. You’re still stuck with that hair. (audience laughing) That’s not your joke, Elka,
that’s Winston Churchill’s. It’s not stealing if you were there. (audience laughing) Wow, is this stuff real? Is that a tiara? Who are you? (audience laughing) I’m Anastasia, the last surviving member of the Romanoff dynasty. (audience laughing) You are? No, but I’ve always wanted to say that. (audience laughing) Is all of this yours? No, it’s stolen. Oh my god!
What? And now I’m gonna have to kill you. I’ve always wanted to say that too. (audience laughing) I’m going to a funeral. Oh, I’m sorry. Who died? I don’t know. (audience laughing) Some guy, I guess. My friend Sheila crashes
funerals to meet men. (audience laughing) I’m going with. But you have Max. Just because I’m chained to the fence, it doesn’t mean I can’t bark at the car. (audience laughing) (harmonica music) ♪ Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen ♪ ♪ Nobody knows my sorrow ♪ ♪ Nobody knows what the next line is ♪ Elka, you poor thing. Did you get the money? Well, no, not yet. Your bail is very high. Did you have to insult
the judge like that? He called me elderly. (audience laughing) Well, you are elderly. And he was really fat! (audience laughing) (audience applauds) Well it’s all your stupid
cop boyfriend’s fault. I know, and Pete’s being punished. I am not talking to him. That’s not how you punish a man. You talk more. (audience laughing) To Elka, you may not be God, but you are certainly divine. If I were God, my birthday
wish would come true. (Elka exhales) What are you still doing here? (audience laughing) Excuse me sir, did you drop this $20 bill? “Vote Ostrosky”? Sounds like good advice. (audience laughing) Elka, bad news, people are
saying Councilman Powell is buying votes for $10 dollars apiece! I’m appalled, I’ve been paying $20! (audience laughing) It gets worse, he’s holding a big Get Out the Vote rally
tonight in Port Lee. There’s only one bridge between
here and Port Lee, right? Yes. Sounds like it’s time
for some traffic problems on the bridge to Port Lee. Elka did a terrible thing. She caused a traffic jam
on the bridge to Port Lee. Well how did she do that? She sent a mass email
to thousands of seniors saying that’s where they could meet their favorite stars
from The Weather Channel. (audience laughing) I also told them the bridge toll would be half price if
they paid in pennies. (audience laughing) Thank you so much for warming them up, now it’s time for a professional actress. You did a TV show with puppets! I’ll have you know I can express more with one hand than most people can with their entire bodies. I can express how I feel
about you with one finger. (audience laughing) What kind of a man would
you like me to find for you? You know how last year, all
I wanted was a billionaire? And you learned your lesson. Yes, I learned my lesson. I want another billionaire. (audience laughing) You know what, maybe
this is just what I need to get over Alan. You know the old saying. When God closes a door, He opens a window? No, the best way to get over a man is to get under another one. (audience laughing) Should we try the lemon meringue? No, the guys at Pie-curious were right. Once you go blackberry… (audience laughing) I met a man this year
who touched me deeply. That could be half of Cleveland. (audience laughing) Who do you have to shag to
get a drink around here? (audience laughing) I’m glad you’re staying. Well thank you, miss belle of the bar. Oh stop. (chuckles) How many guys gave you
their number last night? One or two. (audience laughing) I had to wait till I was 88 to find out I had game. (audience laughing)

37 thoughts on “The Best of Elka (Compilation) | Hot In Cleveland

  1. Favorite medication πŸ’Š….
    Hmmm Xanax or Kolonopin with a Percocet chaser. And then a big fat medical bud for dessert. Then my pillow, a bag of chips and a good movie.

  2. Lover Elka's zinger: Just because I'm CHAIN to the fence…..doesn't mean I can't BARK at the guard..
    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌOH HEAVENS! She’s too funny!!!! β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

  4. πŸ˜‚great Betty-Carol sketch! I just finished watching Betty as Ellen on The Carol Burnett Show, from 77! Now this! Both hilarious! πŸ˜‚

  5. 5:55 the first time I hear that my mouth was wide open while laughing in awestruck. This is definitely one my favourite lines to hear from her

    Edit: 6:21 same reaction. The most hilarious lines to hear from Betty White πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

  6. β€œJust because I’m chained to the fence doesn’t mean I can’t bark at the guard!”
    Betty is a comedy genius!

  7. I don't know what this world will be like without Betty!!! It's going to be a very sad day when that news comes on!! #BettyWhiteforPresident2020

  8. JUST LIKE ME, SO I DEFINITELY KNOW,
    YOU HAVE TO WAITE ONTIL YOU'RE OLD TO KNOW YOU HAVE GAME,
    BECAUSE ALL THE MEN ARE
    DESPERATE !
    😐

  9. Betty White really reprised her role as Rose Nyland. I feel like if she could, she would have used Rose for this show instead of Elka. I am getting so many Rose vibes from this character. It's Rose with a different name.

  10. She told all the seniors they could meet their favorite stars from the weather channel.
    Then she said the toll was half price if they paid in pennies.

    The first one was devious, the second was downright diabolical.

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