Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Earliest Show: The Proposal with Guest Reggie Miller (Episode 1)


[ theme music ] [man] Ladies and gentleman,
welcome to The Earliest Show with Josh and Sam. [ both voice sounds ] – Take a seat Sam.
– Okay, if you say so. Welcome to
The Earliest Show. – Good morning.
– Or good night. It doesn’t matter. We don’t know.
Whatever you’re doing right now. Josh Bath here,
and to my left is Sammi. I’m Samantha Newman.
Welcome, welcome, welcome. My goodness.
Mark, you want to say
hello to everyone real quick. Mark our producer.
Thanks for being with us. [Sam] I got
some bad news. What’s some bad news? I got a retraction from
a story we told yesterday. Hey Mark, stop giving
us stories that are
fake and phony, okay? We seem to be retracting–
[ laughs ] Take me away. [Josh] Okay.
What was it this time? Well, we showed a photograph
of a kitten sitting inside of a kangaroo’s pouch. Let’s show that
photograph one more time.
Let’s look at it. – Awww.
– Awwww. Turns out
it’s Photoshopped. – That is Photoshopped.
– Not real. Mark, what happened?
We did a whole story about
how that kitten found a mom and that
mom was a kangaroo.
Is that all a lie? Someone has too much
time on their hands on the internet. [Josh] Was that you Mark?
– What? Did you make that pic? [Josh] Alright Mark.
You know what this
reminds me of? You see that cute
little baby kitty cat? Sam has something
called the kitty cam. Now what is this?
Let’s cut to it right now.
Tell me what it is. Now, this is the live
feed from my home. And just so we know,
that is your exact outfit? That is. She is always
matching me perfectly. And so what is it–
You told me you buy
the cat outfits first, and then sew
your own outfits. Exactly. To match. Yeah, but why not opposite?
Why not buy your outfits,
and then sew the tiny version? I never thought of that. – For real?
– I never thought of that. How about this?
This is a new story.
This can’t be false, right Mark? – You swear this is real?
– Yep. Real story. Here we come.
Coming at you. We got a scoop
on a new one. We got a scoop.
It’s a big old ice cream
scoop-pa-doo. I’ll take two
scoops please. A little bit of
chocolaty cherry. [ voicing sounds ] We do have a scoop
though for real, not ice cream. – I’m lactose intolerant.
– Me too. Got the di-di. I get a little bit of di-di.
I would like to actually
get the ta-di. I just eat ice cream
on the toilet.
Just saves me time. Doctor’s are saying…
well you know how
you walk up stairs? Yeah. Like this.
Hubba, hubba, hubba, hubba. Yeah. They’re saying
go like this. Heebie, heebie, heebie. Walk on the sides.
Side step up the stairs, don’t walk straight. So instead of heeba-hobba,
heeba-hobba, you want them to do? [ voicing ] Side. Wouldn’t you feel
like that would hurt your hip? Look, I’ll listen to
anything a doctor says. Really? What if a doctor says,
“5 out of 6 doctors agree
you should stop getting 12 hours of sleep.
That’s too much.” I’m going to go see
where that 6th doctor is at. Don’t tell anybody.
In the green room right now
my girlfriend Emily, who I talk about
all the time– – We love Emily.
– You love her. We love–
Mark loves her, but hands off. Hands off or I’ll
throw you to the ground. [Sam] She’s taken! Today, I brought Emily on the show.
She’s in the green room.
She can’t hear anything. Let’s cut to her right now.
Can you see her?
Mark, can you cut to her please? Mark, you cut back to
the picture of the kangaroo. Nope, Mark that’s
a picture of yourself. Fantastic. Right now she
can’t hear us. She’s waiting
in the green room, okay. That lovely woman is
about to be proposed to. – I’m going to propose to
Emily today on the show.
– No you’re not. – I’m going to cry.
– Don’t cry. – I’m going to cry.
– Don’t cry. She cries very weird.
I love how she cries. Go. [ roaring ] Very big tears.
Stop crying. You okay? – I can’t help it–
– [Mark] Big heart. – [Sam] –this is so romantic.
[Josh] I know.
I think, today… when our show ends will be
the beginning of the rest of my life. – [ roaring ]
– Don’t cry. – I can’t help it.
– You know what
makes me cry? Mark, play that music.
I think it’s time to go over
to The Social Wall. – Yeah.
– Let’s go Mark.
– Let’s Dance. ♪ ♪ Okay. Welcome to
The Social Wall presented
by Cap’n Crunch. – And away we go.
– Woo! @WhyNot266 writes: We just got done partying
and are about to go to sleep. How are you just starting your day?
What’s your morning routine?
#EarliestShow And remember,
if you want to get a
hold of us, #EarliestShow. [ indistinct talk ] My morning routine is
I wake up while it’s
still dark outside, I sing a song right
in Emily’s ear… ♪ Oh my God, Emily
it’s time to do it ♪ And she’s supposed
to be asleep for way longer. She wakes up,
“So what’s going on,” kiss her on the
lips and say gotcha. – Ah. Next post.
– Next post. @DancingMachine21 writes: I love when you guys dance.
What’s your favorite move?
#EarliestShow Oh, I don’t know.
Maybe this one? Okay. I think
mine’s like this. Next quesh. Next post. @TalbotMoonsays: I think my sister is cute.
Is that okay? Yeah. Follow-up question.
What are you going
to do about it? Follow-up question.
You going to be a man
and ask her out? Guys, guys, guys.
Let’s move forward. – Sure.
– Yeah. Thank you guys so much
for hanging out at
The Social Wall. You know what?
A big surprise is
coming up soon. You know what it is.
Emily can’t hear right now.
Let’s cut to the green room. Can you see her?
Listen, very soon, I’m going
to ask that woman to be my wife. In the mean time,
we have an incredible
guest coming up. So stick around for
The Earliest Show. My life is going to change.
Hit the music and let’s dance. ♪ ♪ Getting out of bed because
you have to eat sucks, right? Well, now you don’t
have to with Pillow Bowl. Just poor your cereal,
say “Night-Night” and wake up to a
delicious meal ready to eat. Order now! ♪ ♪ Welcome back to
The Earliest Show. Here we are. How are you Sam? – I’m doing great.
How are you?
– I’m very excited, because we have
an incredible guest. A basketball player
that knows no bounds.
3-point shooter. Incredible human being. Ladies and gentleman,
welcome to the stage,
Reggie Miller! – Yes. Yes.
– [Reggie] Oh my God. I’m a raving fan. – Oh my gosh.
– How are you doing Sam? – Good to see you.
– Good to see you too. Sure. I just want
to go around. Sorry, sorry.
Take a seat. [Sam] You look so small. – [Reggie] Thank you.
– [Josh] Cool. [ shouting ] I’m a huge
basketball fan. – I’m a huge basketball fan.
– Okay. I am from New York. So I, don’t like you. One of my first questions
is how do you get suits? Is there one person that
makes them for all tall guys, or do you guys
use a big drape? Yeah. A big drape? Yeah, you got
[indistinct word]? I do. You know, Reggie,
you’re known for your clutch
3-point shooting, now what do you mean? You know, people know me
for my shooting and making shots at the
end of games. That’s what they mean
by clutch shooting. Clutch. In the clutch. Being back in the green room,
talk about clutch. What? Tell me. – I saw Emily back there.
– She has no idea? Zero. [whispering]
His girlfriend is here. – Are you scared?
– I don’t know what to do. I’m almost certain,
like I’ve never felt love like
this before in my life where my whole body
feels so warm and I
want to just throw all up. – Listen to me–
– Yeah. This is going to be great,
but don’t go in too aggressive. – Not me. I’m cool dude.
– You cool? Have you thought it out? – You should listen to him.
– Have you thought it out? Yeah.
Yeah-yeah-yeah. I’m going to get her up there,
and I’m going to get real serious and I’m going
to look her in the eyes, and I go, ♪ Baby, baby ♪ – No. No. Not the baby, baby.
– Yeah, of course not. – Speak from here.
– For real? – Talk from the heart.
– Okay. Keep eye contact, right?
Women like– [ she’s flattered ] Ask Sam to marry you.
I just want to see what it feels like. – Ask Sam to marry you.
– Ooh, I like this game. – So Sam–
– Mmhmm. I want to get down on–
See, that’s– – That’s what you–
– She’s crying for real. This is real. She thinks this real now Reggie.
Reggie, she thinks this is real. Will you… go to lunch with me? Yes. Ouchie. What do you think, Sam? It works for me. You’re red.
You’re turning red. I’m– I’m… You’re turning red.
You’re a mess right now. Sam, come on.
Pull it together. Sam! Sam! It was real.
It was real. We better do a commercial.
Let’s go to a commercial break. Ladies and gentleman
we will be right back, and when we come back I’m
going to ask Emily to marry me. Awww. ♪ ♪ [Sam] I want to
be in the wedding. [Mark] What was that lunch stuff?
That sucked. [Josh]] What do you
mean that sucked? [Sam] I think he
invited me to lunch. [Mark] No one wants
to see that stuff. [Sam] He invited–
It was romantic. [Josh] Do you
have a crush on Sam? [Mark] No. Alright, it’s time for a segment
we’ve all been waiting for. I’m so excited. Okay, my girlfriend has been waiting
in the green room for a long time. And Mark, is she ready? Okay.
She hasn’t heard anything? Okay. ♪ I’m talking
ladies and gentleman ♪ ♪ Welcome to
the stage Emily ♪ ♪ ♪ Welcome to the stage, Emily.
Emily come out. Come out. [Emily] Hey. What’s going on? Okay. – Hey Sam.
– Hiii. – Hey.
– What’s going on? – You look gorgeous.
So beautiful.
– Thanks. – Emily.
– Yeah. From the moment I saw you,
I knew that I wanted to be
with you for the rest of my life. I think in this world you have
to find a teammate that you can
experience the good and the bad with, and I think I found
my teammate in you. Okay. Okay. – Oh my God.
– Here we go. Okay. Brian, you got this? Okay. Emily Fernandez… will you marry me? [ bleep ] What does that–
Did you say yes? – Did you say yes?
– I said [bleep]. Huh? – No–
– [ balloon pops ] No. No. No– No, I’m sorry. What’s wrong?
What’s wrong? I said, would
you marry me? [whispering] I know, but do you really
want to do this in front of everybody. Yes, I want to
know now why? Should I do it again? No. No, what are
you talking about? I don’t even
know if this is real. What are you talking about?
This is real. Yeah, but I don’t know.
You’re so fake all the time. You act like you like everything,
and that’s just impossible. – I don’t like everything.
– Yeah. Yeah. You like
every single movie, every single book,
every single everything– I don’t like this.
I don’t like this. –I just want you to
not like something. I don’t like this.
I don’t like this moment. Every time I want to have
a real conversation with you you don’t even listen to me.
You burst out in song, and it– I never sing. You did when
I came out here. [ indistinct talking ] – It’s so embarrassing.
– So. Look. I already packed my stuff.
I’m going to go and stay
with my sister again. I’m taking the dog… ’cause it’s my dog, and… I’m really sorry.
I didn’t– It’s pretty. Thank you. I’m sorry. Do not call me. Okay? That went a little bit awry.
[chuckles] I’ll take that. Wow. Not how
we wanted it. Hey, that’s our show.
Tune in tomorrow for more
guests and mischief. Good night and
good morning! [Sam] That was bad.
I’m so sorry. – [Josh] This sucks.
– [Sam] Exactly. [Mark] And we’re clear. Oh good.
Okay, I’m so, so sorry. [Mark] Wow.
Our phones are ringing
like crazy. What a– Wow.
A lot of reaction. – You okay?
– Yeah. Okay, I’m going to
call the jewelry place. [Sam] Thank you. [ clearing throat in distance ] ♪ ♪ Can you sing?
‘Cause we do harmonies. – No, I can’t really.
– Great. Let’s sing. Hey man.
You alright? You’re making a bunch
of noise over here. [ singing, voicing an instrumental ] – [he’s winning]
– No-no-no…
Pedro, Pedro, Pedro… I can’t wait to show
you what I did. [Josh] Ahhhh. …and a little.
Tiny little… – [ singing ]
– Aaah! – They can pour chocolate
all over me!
– …get it off your body.

100 thoughts on “The Earliest Show: The Proposal with Guest Reggie Miller (Episode 1)

  1. Am I the only one who imagines that this get's filmed at one am, or like starting at 12:01, so that it actually is the earliest show?

  2. It's like the Eric Andre show…but more professional. I guess that should tell you something about the Eric Andre show.

  3. this needs to continue, I'm legit buying seven and forty two boxes of cap'n crunch just bc idk maybe subliminal messages? also my nose is bleeding… um, but still, we need more of this show

  4. This is just the first episode, and I'm already heart broken for Ben. This is a Comedy show, but when he said "I don't like this moment" my heart broke

  5. Amazing I am in the middle of watching each season of Orange is the new black and Parks and recreation and then I see this.

  6. When he said 'I don't like this moment." I was so convinced by that acting I swear he did get rejected. Made me cry a little.

  7. Seriously… I started at episode 3 & 4 and laughed so much that I favorited the playlist. I hope this becomes a regular series. This is hilarious!

  8. Follow up question: What are you going to do about it?
    Follow up question: You gonna be a man and ask her out?
    How am I just now watching this insanity. So so good.

  9. Man they really nail the falseness of those shows which really shouldn't exist anymore in the digital age where its easier than ever to not watch daytime TV

  10. Please… For the love of Pete… Let this be the prequel to a Groundhogs Day Reboot… I think the world is ready for it… I don't think I'm alone in this…

  11. I've ran through this series 3 or 4 times and it's perfect everytime. Even the captain crunch ads are hilarious!

  12. He's on this fake happy morning show and she dumps him because he is always like he is on the show in real life lol!!!!! Im dying

  13. theres just something about how sexy lauren lapkus is. i cant quite tell what it is but what i would do to her you have no idea.

  14. I love this whole series, and I especially like the way you integrated Cap'n Crunch ads into the native form of the show. I've just written an article about why I think this is a better way to do advertising.
    http://patrickdfarley.com/problem-of-ads-part-3-ads-and-art/

  15. Reggie Miller should have made an appearance on Parks and Recreation, as he was a Pacer for such a long time.

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