Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The ‘Even Stevens’ When Shia LaBeouf Wished To Die For Hanukkah


(bright music) – [Narrator] Louis is hunting
for Hanukkah presents. They’re surely hiding under one of the many messes he’s creating. He scans the basement,
leading Disney’s viewers to believe Jews are robots. Walt would’ve loved it. Mama Stevens is whipping up latkes, telling the story of Hanukkah for kids in flyover states who
have never met a Jew. Where’s Louis? He’s in a presents dutch oven,
huffing gifts like a fiend. Louis hears Papa coming and wraps the loot in a ball he hangs out
a second story window. Shockingly, his plan comes unraveled. Everything gets smashed. The fam rags on Louis
for his brain dead scheme to steal stuff that would soon be his just to sniff and destroy. He hears the words no
child ever wants to hear. – You are grounded for Hanukkah. – [Narrator] Nooooooo! Louis makes a Hanukkah wish. – They’d be better if I was never born. – [Narrator] Baroohattaddahawhatthefuck? It’s Louis’ great great great
great Grandmother Bubbie Rose! Louis doesn’t buy it, so Bubbie does some very scary Jewish ghost magic. She heard his emo prayer to die, and Bubbie’s in the building to give him a Hanukkah he’ll never forget. We going’ on a journey, son! But not before you put on this sweater. Bubbie’s orders. Louis’ dead grandcestor flies his ass around the moon and back,
a Hanukkah tradition, and brings him to a world
where he was never born. She says his family can’t see or hear him, but Louis remains skeptical of this intergalactic super-powered spirit. Bubbie was not lying, and because Louis was never born, the
fam got Curtis instead. Curtis is an honor student
who would never destroy Hanukkah gifts or get
kicked out of a Jerry’s Deli for throwing his gin &
tonic at the bartender. Denser than a stack of bricks,
Louis tries talking to Ren, then ghost wizards into
her locked bedroom. Let’s hope she’s not lady jacking. Fortunately, Ren was not
spinning her dreidel. Louis fingers her brain? There might be a better way to say that. Probably not. In this Louis-less land,
Ren’s a leather-clad bad girl dating a motorcycle-riding
bad boy named Spider. Fucking awesome. Donnie walks in to say,
like Ren, he’s depressed living in Curtis’ perfect shadow. Enter Curtis, who bitches them out for breathing too loud while he studies. He’s a looney monster dingus. Bubbie gives Louis a magic dead lady kiss. Gross. Now they can see him! Ren and Donnie question this child, who appeared the fuck out of nowhere. Louis says he’s a foreign exchange student from Pennsylvania, an alibi that raises more questions than it answers. They spill their guts to this stranger, lamenting the frustrations of living with a faultless sibling. Louis says you gotta
focus on your strengths. – I can spit really far. – [Narrator] A skill Ren
picked up dating Spider. Everyone is sick of walking on eggshells for Curtis Bin Laden. Louis interrupts the
family’s kitchen kvetch sesh. Ren invites this kid, who
appears to have no intention of leaving, to stay for Hanukkah. Louis offers to help, then does the opposite and drops that chicken. The Stevens clan becomes
instantly enamored with this juvenile rando
molesting raw poultry for giggles. Curtis ain’t havin’ it. Louis is entering hour 7 of
his chicken comedy special, wearing the bird like a hat to lead a conga line, a Hanukkah tradition. Curtis plants an envelope of Hanukkah cash in Louis’ sweater. Someone definitely found
one of Walt’s old journals. Attention! The Hanukkah dough is missing. Detective Curtis investigates. – Here, Dad, let me check again. Oops! – [Narrator] Very smooth. The fam wisely decides it might be time to more thoroughly
interrogate this home invader with a shaky backstory who
wears raw meat like a helmet. Curtis is gonna call 5-0! Curtis blows. Oh noooo! It was all a dream. The fam talked it over. They’re ready to forgive
Louis for ruining Hanukkah and forgive him in advance
for ruining Transformers. Everybody’s throwing wood
at Mount Sinai Casino when Aunt Bubbie strolls in to say she found these in the trash. Why would this family she doesn’t know throw out perfectly good unsmashed gifts? Bubbie vanishes, then blows Louis a goodbye kiss. Scariest fucking Hanukkah ever. So what did we learn today? If you watch the Disney
channel to learn about Jewish culture, you’re
in for a bumpy ride. They got the latkes and
holiday backstory right, but Jews are not robots from
the future with magical dead grandma ghosts who fly you
into space and un-smash gifts. And if you’re writing a holiday episode, rip off It’s A Wonderful Life. The formula works great,
because this magical time of year makes people want to die. And Bubbie will never
let you leave the house without your sweater, especially
not over her dead body. See you next time on A
Very Special Episode.

100 thoughts on “The ‘Even Stevens’ When Shia LaBeouf Wished To Die For Hanukkah

  1. Curtis is Zack Morris in disguise. I mean look at the shitty Cosby sweater. And he's up to no good. Curtis, I mean Zack Morris is traaassshh

  2. So that episode taught us life would've been better without Shia LeBeauf. A tad redundant, but at least they didn't lie.

  3. wishing to never born isnt the same as wishing for death but die is a good eye catcher word

  4. "For Kids in Flyover States who have never met a Jew." Yep this was accurate for my Texas Childhood

  5. i never watched Even Stevens so i was legitimately confused when Shia was called Louis (because i thought his name was Steven) 🤦🏻‍♀️

  6. Louis: "Has any Jewish person ever been more persecuted than me?"
    Great Great Grandma: "Kid, let me help you get some perspective."
    Me: "You can't show Schindler's List to a child!"

  7. "Thankfully she wasn't spinning her dreidel" – best metaphor for lady-jacking as a Jewish woman on Hanukkah ever.

  8. Wait a minute… is Curtis the paint huffing, pooka Picasso from 7th Heaven!? EDIT: I just looked it up, it totally is hahahah.

  9. I've always wanted to see one of these "what if I was never born" sitcom episodes but like everyone's life is drastically better with no catches at all.

  10. Even "Even Stevens" has a more logical alternate history plotline than the "Harry Potter" play that's on Broadway…

  11. What a strange episode! I never watched this show, but I do know of it and I knew LaBeouf won a Daytime Emmy for his work. From reading the title of this vid, I thought this may have been the episode he won for, but I highly doubt it now.

  12. actually i been to a friend house during Hanukkah it really is that type of party or they where just crazy but still that was fun holiday

  13. Seriously no joke about the fly over states and never met a jew. I didn't know any Jewish people until my Freshman year in high school- and it was only by association as one random kid in my class was jewish and had to miss a holiday. Good ole Wisconsin. Majority of people were Germans/Italians Catholics

  14. NO IM SORRY, BUT SHIA LABOUF WAS THE BEST PART OF THE TRANSFORMERS!! HE WAS PROPPING IT UP ON HIS BIRDLIKE SHOULDERS!!

  15. Today I found out I’m part Jewish I used to call people Jews out of anger because me and my brothers would make fun of each other and call one another Jews well now I know I’m part jewish🤦🏼‍♀️

  16. So they have a bubbe Rose. And Cyrus on 'Andi Mack' has a bubbe Rose.
    Is that the only name Disney can think of for a Jewish grandmother?

  17. I remember this episode but then I got older and watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and realized that the best episode of the worst show on Disney was nothing but a rip off of a much better holiday classic.

  18. What about the episode where Shia LaBeouf sits in a cabin in the woods sharpening an axe waiting for his next victim

  19. "I can spit really far"

    "A skill she picked up dating Spider"

    You motherfucker, I was trying to take a drink of water

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