Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

THE FAMU HOMECOMING STAND-UP COMEDY SPECIAL 2018


People that are the Nigerian people make some noise you got a Nigerian English teacher How you supposed to take notes When I hear people, you can’t never hear the end of what they say All they were started on being the longer the sentence goes and smaller the words get You know, he’d be this is the best time You think I’m wrong with y’all here and you’re like, what the fuck Maybe ask what did you say it? Yeah, Julie you can’t be around In financial a johnie’s can kiss a big to my father Nigga, how long do it take for my paperwork to get right at me my refund check with Shoku fast Like fucking name on that list what the Mexican do with no hand win When your fucking hand in breath I Don’t trust this thing about y’all watch him You don’t be stealing all the black girls. Oh Yeah, what We might have to jump him be stealing our women were you from bruh you Palestinian me quit fucking with you before you blow this bitch up They call his uncle. What the fuck did he say? What did he say? Oh Good try 26 with a master’s degree. That’s Comedy Central for 14 X 9 a.m. And when they got 30 in that bridge congratulations my father Appreciate you all Fabio But whenever I come to an HBCU man I always like to let it be known and I’m a product of HBCU and I know Everybody that’s sitting in here got some type of gold or some type of dream or some type of vision Let me tell you something I come from nothing I grew up with nothing and everything that I got I made myself But I made it right out of a building just like this one y’all sitting in right now and everybody that sit here we got A special type of power man. It ain’t usually that black people get to get together like this and build man We got the greatest energy on this planet So y’all utilize that energy while y’all here and make the best out of this shit and get out in the world and be great my nigga because they try to play us like me ain’t shit, but we the greatest of we the greatest period so know that Know it. I got our contentions and I think we ready to start to show off Ben’s beat Sam. Okay, Sam No, you can’t see them. All right So this right here is finds you a boo fam you all right find you a boo the fam you addition homecoming 2018 Whoa, you just say that shit and you are don’t sit down. Who are you? Timeout timeout timeout everybody this nigga forgot who he is Already said the 19th, Florida Agricultural and technical at the University Duda fight scene. What nigga? What are you? That out to the gay Burroughs How are you beautiful you got the bunny Damn did she just hear you say you was rich She said do I got the money so on to taking some money to get dippers real? Wow Wish you Kashyap Is a couple of dollars for you to come Home coming fam you hey, Stacy you all coming me? My Florida people represent right goddamn now Right gotta do what you do shot. You count me out. You know how you do it? Shout you County out Know what the fuck I was talking about when I first came down Dude, I thought that was a person but he everywhere shine about every turn Midwest people people said yeah, I Chicago people Is security pack them down pat them down, right goddamn now man, they shoot everybody They go to school to study guns such all hands now Detroit people Detroit Detroit got houses with no house. They just got porches. They be on the porch. Wait, I give the house gonna show up later on Oh Mylanta people George. Oh, oh, let’s do it. Let’s do it I’m probably missing people when I got you a penny foot people, eh Yeah, no nobody but Lee y’all leave it in school You show them fidget like you locked up ancient. What is this? for you be possibly In the room this got-damn beating you You gotta help your roommate And the shit be fresh identify these motherfuckers got me I’d say wardrobe changes in the middle of the day Look, I’m trying to let a lone man for real. It’s good to be out We got a new president anywho I’m rockin with a mrs. Obama, man, let’s get a round of applause just for Showing me how to live my life the right way Real fellers you get trouble you answer questions, too goddamn fast That’s why you get trouble you come home late. You girls start asking Russian. Where were you who you with? You know what? You just started making albeit on child sweet which of the soup and then we got stuck in his mouth. Slow that shit. I Talked to my girl. I got the President of the United States. I Put it on my face. She asked me um questions. Where were you who were you with? You know what time it is? I just saw First of all before I did my Bills in this motherfucker. All right Get his list Seems to me you want to know where I was That’s a good question I can see why you wanna know things just Want to make sure we’re clear on the same page you try the playground is where was I? Well, I’ll have you know that You know, I’m back no further questions. Do you walk up walk fuck off? Don’t think of some old lines You ain’t got to do your press conference immediately. Oh My I’m sorry bad guy damn man damn I forgot y’all. I don’t even know what you a Hey Miami when y’all start playing them so she’ll be playing so I just leave sound o winner Steve Steve I Know what that man? Hey, hold on almost it’ll stick snow will stick out on me. You can’t snitch on My rival John who else I missing You gotta say I Can’t hit you got hold on New York I heard New York up there. Yeah Yeah, get y’all ass out of here, man Y’all ain’t never drove before we’re gonna come down here get a license show ass off the road Baby speeding cuz they got on him heavy ass Timberland shit son. I gotta get round for Pete She’s crazy son, but phones put boat Lakers on I can go either way son. She’s twice Softly. Hello, sir I didn’t play other than New York people make sure you know where they from Malone you Say it Broward, okay, they go with the little crap. I said no way that way code that from Yeah, I was there to look block party last night. They played Kodak they started shooting. I thought it was part of a song I’m so old to be out. I couldn’t even get low everybody dropped down. I like what that goes. Go ahead. Hit me that shit Put a walk to the car They’d be running and jumping over set shit out of here alright any overseas people anybody from another country Where my African people they’re all the Nigerian people Make some noise. You got a Nigerian English teacher How you supposed to take notes In that chair people you can’t never hear the end of what they say All they were started on be the longer the sentence goes the smaller the words get You know, he’d be the best You think I’m wrong with y’all here and you’re like, what the fuck Maybe ask what did you say? Yeah, Julie you can’t be around You know what the right on the nose Oh your nose in Yes, that’s little side but to figure out what he said at the end Well this way Look, man, how a family of this places Very special. It’s super awesome. Because not only is it no, no for real Not only is it people that’s gonna lead the future it is his people here to see challenged people And that’s what helped me. Everybody told me I needed to do comedy So this place always got a special place So to see how This shit actually was because I don’t think they actually believed me and I think y’all finna show them right now You can make a lot of noise right now more noise than you two made all goddamn night. Make a lot of noise right now Let them feel the energy all the way in the back all the way in the back. Let them feel the energy Go I’m bringing up Okay It’s a dance or some shit you going yet y’all gotta show me man now I’ve got to show me man That’s just y’all know calm I don’t know what y’all doin in Do it one more time It’s it I can’t do it shit I keep my voice is I spoke too much weed for this Hey, I didn’t say that. I Don’t smoke weed. I don’t keep all we don’t mean it I can eat Let’s do this right now. Y’all ready Very far to do coming to the stage. Y’all make all the noise. You just seen this man everywhere You see them on MTV you just seen them on Wilding out Probably one of the dopest motherfuckers than I know And you got him in the building right now show you look make a lot of goddamn noise make a lot of noise right now Right goddamn now put my dog Chico Look at all y’all niggas in here boy This shit is no I let you two baby. How you know what the ground all in the front? Man, I fuck with fam you man. Listen man. It’s my second time here I came in like two years ago. But every time I come this shit make me realize it’s hot though This HBCU is man. So make some noise for yourself. I Went to an HBCU so I know how tough it is to make it in one of these motherfuckers man First of all, I went to winston-salem State in, North Carolina And I don’t know if y’all notice if you ever been to any other HBCU don’t feel bad fam you all HBCUs is in the hood nigga every last one you go to but this one right here, nigga I fucked around and was all hoping Street at that gas station. Oh my god How the fuck do you niggas learn at this motherfucker? It was crackheads every way. I’m like, nigga Do they go to school here or do they just live in the community? What the fuck is going on? I don’t know why they set us up like that and put all the HBCUs in the middle to ghetto and expect us to be safe you Can’t be safe with crackheads all on campus locals and shit No not be worse than the local niggas that be oh my god But ladies ladies don’t make too much noise one of y’all that got caught by one of niggas You just fucked a local one the otter gave some local some pussy one of y’all did you mad? No, motherfucker? You did – you thought that nigga really was a baller. Nope that nigga work on a holy Street at the gas station you Get your pussy away for nothing Shit is crazy man all the pressure they put us on that DS HBCU They give you a little bit of money to get real food at the beginning of the semester You use all that shit the first week Now you got to eat them calf eggs and shit on yourself. Every third I Wanted a what the fuck are they putting in the eggs and the calf? HBCUs thinking First of all them shits be chunky like my fucking donut. She’d be like nigga. What kind of eggs is these? This shit picked like pound cake nigga. I don’t know Then they got the mom fuckers their work in the calf, oh my god The motherfuckers looking like they supposed to be at the Waffle House nigga, that’s what I got them calf workers boy They could be missing cheese and all that shit Like nigga not on school my eggs toothless, man. I don’t want you slob on my bacon They could get you loose my fans away from my training HBCU problems There no disrespect I respect wish I do but I say this, you know with all due respect to all the honesty I appreciate you doing your job with fuck campus police. I’m sorry. I gotta say it. I Gotta say it. Why the fuck do y’all take y’all job? So seriously, they don’t even let y’all in the real jail Nigga, you had to drop me off at the front if you lock me up Keep taking me that goof is holding a sale on campus nigga. This ain’t no holding cell and Pockets supposed to be free why the fuck do they? Keep going this year? Parker is supposed to be free They got pay a million dollars a year to go to this bitch and you mean tell me I can’t leave my car. No way That shit like he got a shit like God’s plan with different words name wise campus police always fucking with me I Pay my tuition. Why is Park and I free? For real man, shit is ridiculous in financial a Chinese can kiss a dig – fuck Nigga, how long do it take for my paperwork to get right at me my response yet with your poof ass Fucking name on that list bitch You’re acting like you got an attitude with me mother fuck is my money Get my damn money get me standing all in line All along is shit act like you don’t know what the fuck I’m here for. Can I help you, sir? Yeah, bitch, you can help me. Give me my money City’s ridiculous, man Let you know FAMU I feel your pain Going to HBCU is tough man. They act like they don’t know why we need that fucking money. We needed that money And I feel stuff you ain’t got your refund check yet my homecoming think it’s gonna be a long week You ain’t gonna know what to do at the door at the party and so all you niggas that go here There’s no in the parties this week Bitch-ass nigga. Stop acting like you won’t go to class with me every person second Thursday, nigga Motherfucker get to the door act like he don’t know you but I what’s good for a year or 35 bro. It’s gonna be 35 People don’t understand the pressure of being an HBCU student man, I do like HBCU group is a different type of Pro There any white college broke they got regular shit like chick-fil-a’s and all types of shit on campus Yeah, I got a chick-fil-a work-o talked about this motherfucker than I was I didn’t ever think I would see a chick-fil-a on the HBCU campus, you know, why cuz as niggas here and If I was in school and it was a chick-fil-a on my campus, bitch She wouldn’t been able to tell me it was closed on Sunday I bet that motherfucker frying the shit out chicken on Sunday nigga lock the door They don’t catch us and they get some of the patties The college broke a different bro because even if y’all do got a chick-fil-a on campus You just swiped all your money away in a week and a half. So you came back then And that’s the thing college broke is a different type of growth. Especially HBCU bro like HBCU broke I had you asking you godless shit, you know, you’re not supposed to asking for You being the Cavs like God My lord save you God Please don’t let them see me put this chicken breast in my pocket God Please don’t let the grease soaked through my jeans when I’m talking back to my dorm room God You being a bookstore like God My lord save you God Please don’t let them see me rip these three pages I need for this quiz out this book for the mom cuz I be goddamned if upgrade paid $650 for a book I may use one time then when I take that motherfucker back, they don’t get me 38 cents for it. Suck my dick bitch The worst part be when you call home though that places you thought you want to get away from It seem like your peoples be happy as hell. You ain’t there no more, don’t it? That shit crazy. I used to hate Carla home life First of all, my mother never cooked when I was in like never when I was at home She never cooked soon as I go to college. She gonna turn into fuckin Gordon Ramsay and start cooking every day I used to hate calling home cuz I was in college struggling like a lot of y’all I like most of us is I use the car on like ma. What you doing. Oh nothing, baby Just making some turkey wings and some macaroni and cheese and some hunted by the biscuits I’m like mom put the phone and of it, please your son Dale here struggling Shit is important man your dorm rooms be fucked up Big ain’t nothing like standing in a freshman dorm. I Remember the freshman dorms my freshman year and then first of all, I don’t know how we managed to get bathroom so nasty, nigga But I don’t know if it’s like this if am you let me see how real that shit is down here nigger Do y’all had a shower curtains with your molded shit on the bottom? Oh my god. I’m in my freshman year true story I was taking the shower with one of the moldy shower curtains and the nigga walked past too fast that bitch stuck to my leg My lego Screw this shit out my leg trying to get that mold and You would think that it would just be the boys norms that be nasty. But hell no Ladies Yahoo! I heard y’all got one here called Patti foot nigger. That’s real fucked up I don’t know which I’ll be doing you go to their freshman dorm It look like bitches be slinging pussy on the wall like Spiderman. Yeah It is. Yeah. It’s a pussy juice on the wall Yeah, you like niggas that a strength of pussy juice that I see How does she manage to get it in a straight line like that she must be a professional One thing I will say about fabulous that y’all got some of the most beautiful women I defend the HBCUs all over the country. I’d have been all of them And I mean this I I’m not saying it just cuz I’m here I think fam you got the baddest one all them Yeah, like you sweetheart look at you, how you doing damn You so pretty I be my nigga, you’re still not deep in shit. Oh shit Oh, I bet you get good grades. Oh Yeah, you got a 3.9. Don’t you? Oh, you look like you ran for Miss something They want with your pretty ass during that all on yo face on this car pretty ass muffler Since I predict ambience But ladies i’ma tell you I’m especially all y’all beautiful black woman in this building tonight Man me tell y’all something listen ladies learn and love yourself first All right, stop waiting on niggas to validate who and what you are learn to. Love yourself first That’s the best thing you can do and stop letting Instagram shape your idea. What a beautiful woman is. That shit ain’t real It still successful men like myself. They like real women I pay a little more grown woman look then I pay attention to detail too like for example Bitch, if your bra and panties match everyday, you ain’t a bitch from me. I’m sorry That means you ain’t never rushing the class or nothing. You mean to tell me You ain’t never got no Victoria’s Secret bra and no Hanks panties on bitch. Oh, no, you ain’t disciple You’re any type of girl not knees you don’t work hard enough. Well you too worried about Maceo hunter clothes bitch fuck around with you I’m telling you ladies that shit y’all see all Instagram a real I’m famous. I’m proud all the bitches You see with all them father was dead is not living like that. I went over this bitch house She got six man your father was this bitch sleeping on a pallet? Do you know where the palette is fab you that’s what you ladies sheets on the floor You got to sit out three times to get on this bitch man. It’s like alright I’m down here now, bitch. We gotta fuck I can’t believe you made me tear my ACL to come over here get this boy as pussy hell wrong with you I thought you had father was you proposed to T. Is she a bitch need to posting a bigoted frame, huh? Making y’all think y’all gotta do dumb shit ladies like get ass shots you don’t need no ass shots You got a pussy. You win. God has given you all the tools. You need to succeed and I don’t think it’s fair ladies. I’m a speaker on it. I don’t think it’s fair on behalf on the fellas I don’t think it’s fair Y’all get to go ahead 14 15 inches to your ass and it’s begged us to still give you pleasure with the dick God gave us that ain’t fair My dick was big as a motherfucker last week nigga time. I can’t feel it I bet you can’t you two put a love seat between me and the pussy. I can’t get to it now You don’t know what the long-term effects of them Big ass disease fellas and shits look good now but these homes got all types of shit in the ass nigger submit. Jello Can’t eat nigga. It’s all types of shit in these men’s they Look good now but in 10 years that whore ants gonna drop like a mixtape, he’s gonna be mad as a motherfucker She gonna need a bra for her breasts and her a and she’s gonna be cursing her out around the house, bitch Put your hands pearl and so we can go to the movies like a real couple stop dragging that motherfucker around the house I just got the copy clean And I’m just saying ladies everything for everybody is homecoming week man It’s gonna be a lot of shit going on this week But if you learn in love was for you You won’t get caught up in a lot of bullshit. Like for example, if you can’t handle your liquor this week ladies Just be careful. All right Now nobody want to see your pretty ass in the club with your shoes off Tampon string hanging out. You do fuckin somebody want to see that shit ladies Learn learn what’s for you everything for everybody? everybody ain’t got to be drunk and i’ma say some shit that I know my defense some of y’all to say it but fucker they Got to be seen They’re going natural shit is not for everybody ladies. I’m sorry No, disrespect some of y’all look good with it. Some of y’all look good with it, but some of y’all who some of y’all be looking like you got hold the street grass on your hair, bitch you I’m, just saying ladies at least consult your man before you do the shit You begin fern – she was in the third grade You don’t know what your real texture here look like no more And you can’t come to my house one day looking like your dr Mericle box and then come back the next day with the motherfucking Kodak black and just expect me to let you wait Hey don’t know hell you did and we made for everybody even ladies We’re gonna give you some weave get you some bubbles some of that Malaysian Asian compilation shit Don’t get that pack hear that shit for little girl box braids, and that’s it and be honest about the fact that you got weave don’t just get comfortable with a nigga and Fucking come out to bear from the scattered shit out the whole house. That ain’t fair And his girl do that shit to me one time She took her weave off came out in the girl real ponytail look like a zip drive. I was like damn bitch You got a child and ranch is sitting on top of your shit. You need to cut that hole wrong with you All I’m saying is his homecoming Don’t get tricked out your coochie this week ladies Know a lot of these niggas just look like they got money. These niggas got baller costumes on it’s not real true story You fuck them if you want to cuz he got on a thousand-dollar outfit and a bottle of Moet in the club You gonna be mad as hell come Monday morning When you check that nigga Instagram this Internet Waffle House uniform will work full of wonder the pictures you gonna lie. Oh my god You’ll be on the phone with your homegirl Keisha if I tell you something, that’s where the gods make everybody else Remember that nigga fuck that to the club girl this nigga work at the Waffle House No wonder the VA teammate was so good. This niggas a professional Now fellas piece of advice I can get a yacht man If anything, this is Anita and went to an HBCU, they live through what y’all and live through. Listen, man. Learn to be honest Keep it 100 man. It’s the best thing you can do like this watch this ladies Make some noise if you just want a nigga to be 100 with you keep it All right, well, let me ask y’all a question ladies What the fuck y’all get so mad when a nigga tell you the truth then if that’s what you want. I Understand I Understand ladies if you want the truth, you got to be able to take it You got to be able to take it what you say You got to start with the truth I agree you got to start with the truth But listen fellas the reason why I’m telling y’all this is because these ladies is slick that a motherfucker It’s not that they don’t like lies. They just don’t like it in total because these motherfuckers lie better than we ever could guarantee Ladies y’all so good. You’ll start lying to a nigga right now buy some shit. You’re gonna do next homecoming That’s how good y’all is all your friends know the plan and everything Shit, don’t make no sense and I’m telling you fellas like whipping away more slicker than you can ever think like if if you Heard that new car to five Wayans hair your Mona Lisa just how slick these bitches can be Especially if you talk about what you gonna do to the pussy and then don’t do that. Oh we Dig it ugly and then the crazy thing is ladies. We tell stupid lies y’all tell wicked lies This is type of lyin nigger tell where the fuck was you went last night Did ya I? Died and I seen I missed your car that came back to life because we was going to the shoulder ball my mom my dad And we say some shit like that. Ladies y’all telling wicked lies. He’s the type of lies y’all tell. Oh, yes Oh daddy Oh, it feels a whirl Bullshit this your pussy old is your pussy Yes, oh shit is in my stomach. Oh my god. It’s in my stomach. No the fuck It’s not fellas you being there believe in that shit, too. Yeah said her stomach nigger. I got an appetite dick. No you don’t The stomach is up here young nigga You do not have enough dick to reach up here And if he was hitting her to which she felt like it was in her stomach She would not be able to tear you in a complete sentence nigga. You’re fucking a bitch like that Good never heard that’s all of your bitch is a liar And then they keep the light on they keep it going every now my god Oh I’m so sleepy. Oh my god. I Might miss my head o’clock in the morning fucking with you big man And they can still be believing that she you Gotta fuck the education out this bitch. You don’t even wanna work don’t know cuz of this dick She hit you with the texting when you get back to your own Soon as you walk out the door first thing she do was pick that phone up and getting that clean chat We’re all on her own girls nigga and tell all your business girl You ain’t gonna believe this nigga came over to talk about every score due to my pussy poured this big out It look like a salt and pepper shaker bitch I was like, oh what you great new with their low, man What you want season a pussy get your Lord to get inside here little short dick, ain’t it? That’s how they talk about you fellas but ladies never tell y’all something you this is not gonna be popular piggy, but as y’all for we laugh, It’s y’all fault cuz ya’ll lie to us about us and then act like you man, when a nigga start believing the lie that you tell Think about it. Like I’ll give you a perfect example of how you outline ladies and I fucked up this is the child do this and get mad at us because we full of shit when y’all pull us up with the shit that we full of Watch this real quick experiment on behalf of Chico bean and FAMU homecoming all my niggas in the bill that make some noise all Right now I need all my niggas in the building their fam you got a Lord dick to make some noise Yep, that’s what I thought now watch this ladies make some noise and miss some Lord take niggas a fan of you One of y’all bitches body give me the fuck up You said it was in your stomach? Oh Now who fault is it that we line? Ain’t no nigger. Make no noise. We’re all y’all made noise So either y’all ain’t telling niggers they shit a little or you lying So ladies, which one isn’t Exactly so shut the fuck up. I’m getting lied to goddamn it But I’m not – get out of here cuz we got a dope show on deck for y’all But I wanna leave I was something that’s very very important to me Dora homecoming You know I’m saying this is very important to me now. I’m from Washington DC for the Rays of DC Appreciate you all Fabio But whenever I come to our HBCU man I always like to let it be known and I’m a product of HBCU and I know Everybody that’s sitting in here got some type of gold or some type of dream or some type of vision Let me tell you something I come from nothing I grew up with nothing and everything that I got I made myself But I made it right out of a building just like this one y’all sitting there right now and everybody that sit here we got A special type of power man. It ain’t usually that black people get to get together like this and build man We got the greatest energy on this planet So y’all utilize that energy while y’all here and make the best out of this shit and get out in the world and be great my nigga cuz they try to play us like me ain’t shit, but we the greatest of we the greatest period so know that know that You don’t saying whatever you wanna do like I did a lot of shit at college I didn’t think I was gonna do I joined a fraternity. I don’t think I would ever do no shit like that I’m a street nigger I think I could be able to know shit like that, but I did it I my awful I’m out for for those who want to go Salute all the office. Yeah, it’s the Alpha school campus Cool, that’s what it is. Y’all niggas be a lord – cool sometimes no girl Like you niggas in that dress up sometimes nigga you nigga through will hard bottoms to play basketball like bro. Chill with the fuck Shit don’t make no sense campus any capitals in the building Damn fuck would you why don’t let you sit by yourself nigga. What the fuck? Ah Damn, yeah, you don’t only one idiot named noose. Fuck with noobs, nigga You niggas loved wear flip-flops, don’t you boy you you put your regular shoes on a day, but you let him rainbow flip-flops Don’t you need? That move is so sensitive. Janay, I think it’s a breakout with that shit Twerk it in the club Sigma and Sigma Sigma Know Sigma C Omega you came with us put your fucking hands down y’all go here. They’re wrong with you Deafening is be too aggressive with that. They call shit. They call this fucking ridiculous. Ooh, fuck, you know, no negai don’t know What fuck are you yelling at me? Q’s I Love y’all shit my name sound like you get your dick sucked and she’s doing good When I old is it I Deltas See own fucking job Hey Kaz Yeah, y’all realized that decays is saying skeet and they named it a painting Every time I used to run up on a ki black baby. I was wondering if you would make me see Yeah Yeah, we’ve been waiting to do that all day everything As DeRose She said Sound are you pussy with that tongue ma’am? This plan Just began When I called all them organizations out and say all of this managers say again, man fam you I love y’all My name is Chieko babe. And listen, man This is the dopest shit in the world being at an HBCU and attended one and graduating from one and going to one a party In the living, it’s the best shit ever. Y’all part of that man, Saluda y’all happy homecoming fabula Was leaving psych bitch This shit about to be lit lit they get it fuckers you talking about And I’m about to bring my partner up to the stage, man my motherfucking brother man the coldest nigga doing this shit right now y’all about to see him, you know, I mean If you watch wiling out, you know, we do the old school battle If you watch the 85 south show, you know, the niggas the motherfuckin hanker a team But if you’re in this building right now in fam you at homecoming you bout to see a play in lab on this stage So fam you I need y’all to stop making some noise. Stop making some noise. Stop making some noise I’m possibly my nigga to the stage right now So I need all the y’all niggas in here to get loud my nigga father come up here write it down And I already take y’all niggas know his damn name. He and I Mississippi and he be fuckin with me I think I got them jokes and I swear you won’t meet English. So with no further ado I bring to you the motherfuckin 85 south show crew Wait, wait, wait this all the clamps that get y’all clapping like I rode to this motherfucker was y’all oh Yes That’s some bullshit. I thought it was better than that bare of you Damn, I thought we was building. There’s no, love Y’all don’t know what I’ve been through to get here I drove all the way down here from Atlanta What do we stuffed in my shoe? And get here these niggas don’t clap. Why do I got so many police officers at the show? Goddamn? Maybach they’re threatening me and shit Carlos where the weed at in my body. What the fuck I Do not have not only Mustapha shut out today. What miss Holmes the lady with the big in the bull? I Might do something just so you can search me god damn ma’am You ever seen an ass so big you had to see it two times. Like that’s a big ass. Yes She got one too, I like it down here bruh. This is a strange look place man Yeah, this place strangers here cuz everybody got a little attitude Brown with the subway and got into it with the look gay, dude People had an account of making the sound was you go ahead you want the extra meat only 1% was right He’s read this awesome shit, I don’t usually talk about gay people I almost got jumped by some gay dudes after one show I came out sad they was laying on my car like They was magazine as soon as they stopped me I’m like, oh say what you said say what you say, uh-uh Say the jump that you saying Say what the fuck you said? The only thing that scared me with this love hands say what you say How they cope with the school right in the middle of the hood Take a crack he is walking around. I was outside smoking one lady walked up to me young man You want to buy some sexual activities? Hell no What are you doing out here mister days later Unlike this year I can tell y’all been smoking too. I can tell who had I see you in here just doing the Highland If you in college smoke weed smuggle weed make you smart Never get haggis smart to figure out some small dog shit Like hey Can you wear house shoes in the apartment The people you smoking with just as a shoe yeah, even though this apartment is your house Cuz home is where your heart is I Like to get high and figure out shit this is what I do you have again have big eyes and shit like I What color is a mirror? But y’all had that nigger When I got these crowns on what y’all win What the fuck is blue Honk on the court The royal court for what All you need is a head Till y’all Langston yelling about the wind some shit his own Y’all ready what the Mexican do with no hat win? Wait your fucking head in bro, I Don’t trust this thing of right y’all watch him You’re gonna be stealing out two black girls. Oh Yeah, what We might have to jump him, he’s stealing our women were you from bruh you Palestinian me quit fucking with you before you blow this bitch up They call him uncle. What the fuck did he say? What did he say? I Know the Palestinians. I know y’all They could be working in the mall my friend Kevin would for you. What do you want to pay? Me and you’d make deal I’m just fuckin with you dawg Please don’t blow me up But this shit is so funny cuz I see some women in here can’t even laugh at this shit guy They got the waist trainer phone They heard giggling Hey stupid Little freak yes Fellows make sure you eat pusses lay down. Don’t put your ass in now, don’t do that What if somebody break in? You gonna shoot your again says yo booty out money Real niggas know equally with the ass then they have lay down Just the Lobos I want to give you a little homecoming what is white girl come from you go to school here Man white girls scare the shit out of me I Did not expect to see no white lady sit because y’all do backwards and shit Like you’ll be walking down the street and you see a white lady coming towards you when she clutch her purse That is the most offensive shit ever. Cuz this bitch thinks she’s stronger than me Alison you faking you’re not stronger than a real nigga that shit. Yeah easy that was Let me stop it’s too real for you Chico a little telling y’all stupid shit like tell these women the truth Pray, you’ll never get a woman telling her the truth See a question. Yeah, that’s the real ain’t not telling us the truth. That’s my real nigga the whole shit. Come on Set outside the women who got a homecoming lace for an old right now Yes, it looked like a real house down. Well, they know that’s the lathe right. It’s about three weeks from now And they got their foam here. Just thought telling knows It ain’t even over here no mo she said when a bitch like a fit in here I’m talking to the girl backstage. She scratched her hair the whole hairstyle came out. Oh you too, dude. I wear a bad name They said I was coming you throw videos. Hell, I guess she got hot. She’s like woman’s gonna be back on When you’re Talking about natural hanging for everybody Yes way your shit way your shit gonna fuck what it look like Even if your opponent’s here look like the end of a plan where your shit I’ll tell you what you can stop doing though. Y’all got to stop wearing fake eyelashes. That shit is ridiculous Yeah, cuz y’all really believe that we believe your eyelashes this loan Shit gotta stop. I let this girl spend the night over my house. She gonna get up early and take up fake eyelashes Oh and try to sneak and throw them away But forgot them and left them on the bathroom counter I go in the bathroom to pee. I think we got fucking tarantulas Who what kind of roaches that? Okay How’s homecoming been going so far y’all enjoy this shit I Heard y’all had a shootout like that bitly already Shootout on the first night nigga, stop playing Is everybody? All right Would somebody say yell Samantha no Amen, y’all avoid all that bullshit. It’s so much bullshit to get into this weekend. Make sure you do the right thing, bro Look out for you people, you know most people to come up missing to get shot Watch out for your homegirl now, make sure that nobody fuck with our cover There’s a lot of weird shit going on bro, and especially make sure you have safe sex this weekend especially if you a young black person Because they try to make it seem like we to all the ones who get AIDS Have you ever noticed it if you watch the TV and then wrap it up commercial. Come on scare everybody in the house Say some shit like one in three black people have agent like shit is two people on the couch That means somebody in this house sick. It won’t say nothing. What kind us? It’s funny good Israel Okay, cuz of you ready we got a whole lot of show going on the night all of these people You can watch the 85 cell show. Oh You do watch the 85 cell show So you already know who this podcast is for? This podcast is for real hood niggas that go to college Then know how to fried chicken on a George Foreman grill This podcast that we’re doing right now this gonna be for all the chicks and fam you that keep snacks under they bed Must loves how these camera people right here who gonna be taking pictures that ain’t nobody ever go see White niggas be stealing pictures What a thing is that the people who bout to graduating soon Okay, what did you easy We got into softballs later We got any fresh I don’t want nobody to feel left out. Is this somebody who did go to school? You’ll really know what your class You a few credits away from claiming the plan Your grad student Shout out to the grass throat is the new beach in all the Alumni Amen all of y’all know but this is not just a comedy show right here This is the 85 South Shore This is a podcast right here, bro. We got some special guests in the house. We all tonight Tall the ladies in the places that the latest make some noise one time y’all they helped Look I bought one of my homegirls out here with me today And I’ve know you may have seen her Instagram talking shit real loud looking for her long-lost boyfriend She’s sitting over here. I want y’all to show some love walk to the stage my homegirl Miss B Simone Total shit to the ladies I Was a little know you was in yes, what a rest of the gang yet Cuz we got to look game that we wanted. You don’t want to play games Let me get the rest of the 85 self show cast members out here shut out the Chico bean aka your Gucci bag Then they got on Gucci everything What Clayton it? He not over them Turn their microphone, yeah We out here y’all still having a good time for you Don’t sound like I said All right Okay, so They write for this more. We’re about to play a game right here Cuz all ER that no beat Simone knows that she’s looking for what? Okay, so what we’re gonna do is we gonna play a dating game here fam you and we gonna find one of y’all Goodfellas here Stop You’ll think it’s Don’t pop up here if you got a bitch I cannot fight I’m not fighting a bitch, okay Sit down, bro, you got too many holes in your jeans niggas For we need we need some volunteers we need about I mean they do is if they bout photo brother three three Do we need three dudes that would love to get an opportunity today? They’re going to date with Bo y’all already got up on we already got on sit your ass down my family, man My bad lose. Everybody’s going sit down my Pant got my rich ones. I’m gonna bet that paint. Doesn’t you built like you’re gonna lead them niggas alone The Kappas are already gonna beat us. Oh, I know they gonna come up like this what you say You’re gonna get beat up by a nigga with chefs they go They go right there Alright so where our fellows at so Carlos you kick the show off. See you Imma be the hostess over here on the side with the fellas. Let me Know where you got some big some dating game music over here. Come on dating game. Yeah That need glances I can see the business from here You can see germs You gonna take them all now Oh you got over there Chico I got our contentions and I think we ready to start to show off his beat Sam Okay, Sam now you can’t see them. All right So this right here is finds you Abu Pham you all right fine you a Buddha fairview edition Homecoming 2018 do we got any game show? Music? Oh Yeah, his shit ain’t on time. I’m a shit on fucking just play small man who enjoys play some place up Chico we got a game show going on. Welcome back to family Homecoming addition to find your boo If you’re lonely and need a friend come to the show and we’ll put you in We know some dudes who don’t have jobs. They go to college so they don’t Zealand Rob Introduce let’s bring them up Chico. Can we get him over here? All right Let’s uh, let’s bring our three contestants up. First of all before we bring you up. My name is chiku B and I’m your second host here for Findable FAMU your name, sir? Mr. Pierre Wow You put a lot of bass in your voice there sir, good job, who do we have here? Oh Wait a minute everybody quiet down everybody quiet down. Wait a second. Hey look ya’ll god. No, I don’t got all that base Your name is what Jordan see Jordan, okay, and then last but not least we have Kemal Presley and these are our three contestants These are our three contestants that are going to be attempting to find love for Miss B Simone Let’s get it guys up here. Make some noise for your Test and this shit gonna be ghetto is here. I could tell my god Stand behind this curtain fellas You gotta be behind the curtain right so oval is they game to lose all right. You got a shot. All right. All right so Carlos We have miss B Simone here and you’ve got the first contestant of the shuffle of us so we could just add some some random Okay, you guys you guys a little shuffle? All right, shuffle them up This thing of doing the shit out his job Everybody get the show. I knew he was gonna be serious cuz they got their leprechaun shoes Oh, yeah Ichabod cranes Then you got Anna Frederick Douglass’s we’ll get you got down on the farm form to carry me When you take them shoes off, you gotta put them in your pocket All right. Let’s get to the first question first question B Simone. Do you have any? If we were to go on our first date where we go Alright first we have John, correct? Jordan my bad You didn’t even know their names it’s too late. Yes. I don’t want to know his name I just wanna let’s keep this the fitful eye so Till this be Simone where you would take her on your first date. It depends well Maybe you better in Fairview. Oh shit to do it it occurred. That’s where you met in now. What’s your answer? fuck Is it fall Now that you know where you met her it what the fuck y’all go You met her fab you Jordan, okay So let’s just say this you met her here in fucking Patty’s foot. I don’t know you met her here You met her here, where would you take her on the first date you already talked too much you fucking it up? Talk to yourself out the pussy Hey, I’m taking you to the cab first Oh, baby He said to the can you go into the cab? I must like you win You talk about the cafeteria. All right. He said he gonna take you to the cafeteria Yeah, it sure isn’t all of them Chico alright One cafeteria what wanted to sort of take you on a date to the CAF and how about you sir? Museum what Museum is in Tallahassee that you would be taking her to? Okay, the black archive The black archive he would take it to the black archive Ladies, let me add you gonna let through George Washington Carver. Ladies. Would that work? to the black archive They like alright Yeah, they had to do rosin like that she All right and last but lotta nice Where would you take miss be Simone the first day? I Would take a chick-fil-a spin a couple flex bucks, you know, I’m saying more than all the flex bucks in the world. I Asked back its nigga rich in college money First of all, we take it out to the chick-fil-a extra Polynesian sauce big lemonade Flicks dollars all that algebra homework Okay Another quick note That wasn’t a good answer the white girl. When is that down? Oh my fucking guy. I can’t He is so cool. I love And all right and just to let you guys know the winner of this composition will get a hundred dollars They get a date but they gonna get a hundred dollars it take you out Yeah, so you’ll just be in the cafeteria you get bananas that Agatha Exactly so Miss B. Simone you got your first you got your first answer Okay, we’re gonna give them three questions and then we’re going to do our first elimination. So second question. I Got a question to the contestants if B Simone called you intelligent she might be pregnant First response will be your first response. Let’s go That’s why I see You This way you don’t have a boyfriend right here That’s about chronological order first asset right B Simone, what is your credit Goddamn He said what is your credit school? Fuck they have to do with anything, which is fucking wrong. You goofy a man I you got to strap it up the second answer second answer. He just proved what you can’t just be out here fucking anybody Second answer what would your response be? Okay If they okay and last but not least. What would your response be you say, you know amazing, so Hey, you can’t start everything with that shit my father Oh some patience. Wait, let him answer Breath sob passe let a man sir Situation oh You look when you look at the woman eyes, can you see the future her and if I see a future with Judy small hey So what you did you fucked with Your hands close the whole time I’m Not gonna look you’re just not looking at that Okay. Okay. All right. So we got our second answer now final questions before our first elimination Oh you guys know Mom one moment she say what are your goals? That don’t me okay some of these motherfuckers out here still taking reading classes fucking around All right third question miss Bea Simone, she said with the bank account a little late flex dollars big bank tight little bank Okay the kids Yes I’ll ask I’ll ask the third and final question. Okay. All right now Chieko be nice I am gonna be nice but I want to see what these guys are gonna do if they get the opportunity to take you on a date a lot of people Give bad men I mean black men, excuse me a bad rap and they say that black men aren’t faithful black men don’t cheat So as to what would what would you tell B Simone about your ability to be faithful if you were with her You don’t hand on the side You already have a girlfriend What the fuck are you doing up in a nigga? You tell no, son. I did you until you got a scrap What is wrong with this nigga? I? Asked him about being faithful Deni want to be faithful you reminded that Nikhil a brother being faithful my girl Alright so fucking Let’s go right here. We already know you hate you so You know, they say hasty men are the most faithful men in the world So she already knew from the top who she was dealing with DeSimone I’m your man I’m sorry. She shows my man right here. So I need y’all to make some noise for the winner Yeah Uber Travers right there put the focus Let me tell you some Of my shoes I don’t know if I could be with you cuz I did it a day Just now let’s cue. Yes ma’am, but we don’t have to work on that before our first day of course. Yes, ma’am Okay, do you have other options? Of course be some okay you tap dance when he starts I’m Haitian. My name is Pierre Austin and I approve this business Wait, wait wait before you go timeout before you go You have been telling us that you Haitian and giving a reason for why you do what you’re doing saying you Haitian So, could you please tell us why you picked those? Wallets the way there’s a motherfucking show tonight flip the same shoe boy. Look the kid got shot in Hey Carlo, and they got to live in single genes. Oh boy. We are living All right, so Please tell your counterparts here family why you decided to wear the the jesse jackson’s the campus today? Well any classification man always also person that day. I know every haitian student here know that their dad was one of these the he wasn’t with no socks on properly cuz His man, we don’t wear lotion, you know saying cuz we got good ankles and we chose Shoes oh Yeah, we fuck without a long way. You look like the nigga that came to fight T’Challa in I Challenge you So now that you have one of hundred dollars and a date with beats the mall Where you really efficiently gonna take her to the first day. Oh We got a hundred dollars Two hours to go to the beach You know at night yeah at then I’m a brain the speaking of the light And he gonna run all the say with his pants roll But no, I mean honestly I’m not really a guy that really focuses on the big things, you know You bout to fuck it up that’s what happened every time you be this close again some fellas You say something else you get too deep and fuck Well, basically what I want everybody to know Well, you know I’m Haitian so I’m keeping they got there buddy I Need to hang out to the Top flight That’s what that’s for the old people that’s where you go get you a cougar Kobe fly you can meet a bitch named family Two names shit the last time we came to Tallahassee they had us at this club called play I thought they was playin tunes true story and fam you these motherfuckers had our food in the girls bathroom Uncover chicken women walking in there pissing and everything I’m like new you think I’m fitting to eat some pussy wings you crazies and him that was the true story They had the food set up in the gray room in the bathroom I know You caught let’s do I All right. So, what’s your name? And what is your position on Roy? You court allows the case of rule and score you Alright, you escort. Oh, man, so you just got voted to walk ball fuckers around the brain, huh? All right. That’s what it is. Will Roy your escort? Okay, here you are beautiful They fucking with you crystal Chris down Chris they’ll Like the wood Chris Theo like the wine your mama must be fuckin the dope dealer when she named you I’m an a my baby Chris Theo not Cristal now. What is your what is your position until you’re the fresh man? What? Are you attend to the freshmen? You 22 But that’s like 700 people. Thank you. Did that mean I was born in like 99 2000. Don’t do that. They’re pro So you saying these are the back that ass up children, yes Yes, Wow God and you watch him Adrienne file will escort but yo knew He thought they was gonna be louder than man he did he didn’t know they was sitting at I I So, uh, okay, you yo-yo. All right So, uh, what is your position what do you do? Okay your escort Okay, and you are only all the fellas right? Here are escorts. Yeah, don’t talk today got no cry alone Let’s just see there’s just a male gold digger though you would let me escort you And you are beautiful Dude all the chilies in the building and you are beautiful Shout out to the dew from Pakistan and you are He mother schema This you know who he is This is negative being the mall trying to get you to put that shit on your skin when you walk past a kiosk please please Man, please come here, please Please did you wash your hand today, please? Please. Don’t walk away, man. Please come please. Let me please sleep, please What do you use on your skin, please? Please. Let me please stop this. All right, and you are beautiful Dominique parks the graduate attendant, okay Dominique marks look like you don’t play no games. It’s not any of them. Look at you You got a boyfriend dominate you do. Where is he you? Know well fuck him then Alright shouldn’t let you come out here by yourself what you’re looking all good like that. What’s that? What you wish your name champ? Whoa, you just say adesh it. Hey, you are don’t sit down. Who are you? Timeout timeout timeout everybody. This is Florida What the game Yeah Eyes eye And uh, I know you ain’t nobody you just sit here Hi and I will come on plans, what’s up? They’ll get you you are my rock rock rock rock rock rock rock hit like a block block block block block block Hey, hi now, who are you? Who are you fuck a pseudo ball? She My name is Percy Henry the 3rd Percy Henry the 3rd from Brooklyn, New York, Chris Hi and I’m the student and person kind of balls by you see Louie, right Stop talking about person here pastor. I also do that Fuck you, Percy Percy. I have a question. Did you say from Brooklyn New York creep? Hi so this how we’ll go right who from New York in the building So you say right? So if I was from Miami I say I’m from the Oh so live 305 But since I’m from Brooklyn I must say I’m from Brooklyn That’s what’s wrong with niggas y’all hurt me fam you as his nigga did he say crib and this nigga answered every question, but the one is You said the crib Don’t know from the crib. I thought you see a crib look like the game Pursy Pursy Pursy Pursy man. You’re four here too big for you to be so stupid man Forehead white man, Chico leave Percy alone. He got a spot on his mind. Okay that boy alone You right I what’s up man we got my man right here biggie smalls in the motherfucking building Awesome baby. All right. What’s your name? Big home Christopher Doris Ellis What do you do big Chris, all right sophomore brother the baby new chapter of Alpha Phi fraternity incorporated Shout out to the girl bras. Hi, Joey. Alright, so What do you do? They got you sitting right here big-ass? The body tarpanam, you’re the bodyguard with a coat like that on boy you yeah, you supposed to believe me he do believe me That’s what it make a dress like bushes But I’m clean though as a motherfucker don’t never let nobody tell you that she went make some noise with my pink homie right here What we got right here Damn DeAndre, you look like the old Diddy take that. How about you champion? Sexy wannabe because he’s a really nice guy. She doing better than him. He trying to hold on to their with everything He got all right Like I could see some more Shit yeah. Yeah, like she don’t do her homework, but she will fight a bitch – she stood up So much and you are you are you are First of all before I speak I just wanna let air by those some there’s only one real crib at that Dade County any puddin Say y’all Looking to counselor strike I’m mark Nicholas King of orange a green from Miami Florida get it. Right ain’t no cheering ability. Yeah Hey, Connie, already ain’t no cheer. Let’s get right some of the DC. I wanna make you a check. Yeah That nigga plugged in Did you see how it was like a Man, I don’t know what the fuck everybody else got going on, but that niggas little people that do this man He plugged although David made the hissing Sam. That’s a strike. That’s their rattler Don’t make me wish I would have stayed in Connie you are beautiful And you are beautiful I’m julissa Dimitri a plumber a third-year theater performance scholar from Fort Lauderdale, Florida That’s what it is y’all make some noise VI Royal Court fab you stay here Then let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room my nigga What’s poppin what I Don’t know you’re like Alright we don’t know each other I what’s your name big homey, I don’t even got my name But if you wanna follow me on instagram mister underscore fiend. Oh yo Bro that nigga said I don’t got my name But if you wanna follow me, I don’t know. There you go What at me nigga don’t go to school in All right, where they gonna call something what they gonna do just say you come get your degree oh Come on where you gonna get that degree online, if is that mr. Hunt disco any goddamn thing they go sit that shit to you Got to say your name Now we love and they’re gonna come to us. Mr. Underscore feet don’t hang. Dr. Price in that office right there My nigga, I ain’t going in there bet yo Summa cum laude that sounds right? But that goddamn cheap pants aristocrat you’ve been drinking and kicked it or something listen man Fuck. Yeah, he on that cocaine Oh Leave them alone jack damn it launched in the 136 boy blood ass, nigga I’m low and snicker, but I gotta ask you a question about your jeans though So you got a lot of holes in your jeans you let your thighs out and shit like that, right? So I just wanna know It was a flu he got his thighs out he wanna win the Heisman Trophy. Oh You ate all the way in the last section over there When he talked about clean he went first of all bitch you need to shed so much fuckin mouth All right. That’s what my jeans like this nigga. Watch yourself big dog. Yeah, I’m a big man Let’s go alright 2013 This nigga is a super-duper senior. My name god the oh, oh He oh, oh that nigga older the motherfuck since nigga been going here for years You thirty years old. Are you 30 years old sitting with the freshmen nigga was wrong with you? Congratulations. Oh good trial 26 with a master’s degree. That’s company’s tape report 14 X 9 a.m. And when they got 30 in that bridge congratulations my father There we go, alright now I enjoy them let’s go give me some of these beautiful fabulous in this well they don’t be go see Me happy birthday baby. Yes your birthday. What’s your name? You turn 19 Happy birthday I stand up let me see you but you got out there burn. I got it Oh Yo ass fed basketball shorts. God time. Come here baby come in come in since Big booty look at the booty hittin always only gonna hit the champ. Come on through. Come on break that big ol mofo What’s your name? Come on Oh Chico she got the girl with the big booty ponytail I believe you every girl on campus with the fans got this same ponents here. Hey What’s your name, baby? what you do miss judgment below What yoga okay you got a boyfriend she looking for a boyfriend Somebody said y’all man she should’ve FAMU she just said pull that dick out let us see what Ricky and I asked about you next pulling a dig out I So it’s a lotta you gonna get your basketball girls in trouble That’s what the coach girl named the clay run pour the dick out since y’all let the competition show What these fans got to do to get right with you Well, fuck it dance it so big in that big old booty with nobody, but nobody Booty get out of here. I wear the one looking for some digging I’ll bring your dick looking along you sir Come in come in come in come in come in come in bro. We gonna fuck this show. Yeah, I Come in. Oh, damn. She look like the old shit. Well How are you? Beautiful? You got no money Damn did she just hear you say you was rich She said do I got the money so onto taking some money to get that pose? for real Wow Wish you Kashyap Money so she can Shit you did me when I sold old ground. I’m rich So I sent you 150 and then you gotta know you is my ho ho come on Hey Chico send me the cash if I settle some shit, yeah Yeah We got a hundred and fifty you already know that this was they coming with me you play on the basketball Team at night wrong. That is me your pussy hole long I’m waiting right here. You already know you got a new boyfriend. So now that I sent you that cash it has the bow Hey, I’m trying to get Cash Baby girl where your booty if you give it to me, I promise I’ll send it back shit Chico, you know I feel I must said $200 cuz I had look real I got another 250 if she won’t come and get it cuz we up here at the fam you show Is Chico big clay piece of mone Carlos? So My little girl now So now that you got the cash that you asked for. Oh So, uh, I Uh What wasn’t that a holdup timeout timeout job, we got the two older ladies right here They say a bitch. That wasn’t enough. You better ask what some oh Well, ma’am, how much did she ask for? You okay Ma’am, you don’t get the price. Nobody else buzzes. She said she wanted 150 Hey, and that’s what she got You can’t run the price up. No $5,000 a Mama, how much would you see say 5,000 was you judge? 10 grand 10 grand goodness gracious. Oh My god Oh My god Oh shit mama, I don’t call Phyllis mama mama Like this. Oh mama Don’t throw up that I love god mama. That’s what it is Go you stupid That’s why we don’t take you nowhere. Hey We got this side over here Yeah Niggas really don’t fuck with they don’t really fuck with this side niggas. Y’all be chillin. I hope my niggas right here Let me go up and meet some of these nigga. Oh Shit nigga this the 85 aint fuckin with you. You look straight down when I walk past it you could big homie Up going up here to fuck with my homeboys up here. Hey, Chico Hello before you do that. You ain’t gonna believe this shit bro one You are not about to believe this shit. Why go here. I’ll tell you in a minute Hold on real quick Hi, what’s up? Y’all nigga y’all my man with the do-rag on cut me a real quick way do rag Me a white do rag or nail. What is the rake sorry shit and they got the white do-rag on what you What’s your name my name Brian Brian were you from Raleigh, North Carolina? Are you from your North Carolina? Nigga? I live in North Carolina. That’s what’s up now You are seeing you over here turning up with your white do-rag on and all unless you got way a new haircut She Alicia, honestly Hey, yo, goddamn wave cap look like a hotel sheet that shit crazy there, but not oh you got you got a girlfriend Either be referred women in family. You got a girl Once you bought the pool you pick out nigga move out never mind Dad. Hey girl about the pool is Johnson out check. Oh, yeah, man, go play this shit. What? I don’t believe Birgit reporter Oh Oh what Oh Let me see you work, Germany Oh You know Wait Okay That’s it oh, yes She does want to say that it come on right go stop me from checking it in FAMU it then she crazy So crazy Okay, okay we got one too oh Okay, okay. Oh Yeah, this that shakes up instead we’re gonna see what fam you really bought if y’all gonna turn it off for homecoming for real live Spread them out drama myself You wanna call represent for your culture you want to go represent? Come on? You got everything else Hey You We were taking phones Yeah You know, really no Today we started is brain assault. You know, I mean when don’t mind loses the tracking in act really did Tommy she is Wait sometimes people ever Made us feel like it. This was familiar, but They said like I’ve done a lot of comedy shows homecoming comedy shows Like this what we did tonight I’ve never seen You like this I’ve never seen a response like this and that kind of just you know You know just basically speaks to what we have here with 85 style show like it’s not you’ve never seen guys move each Individually, wholly-owned anyway, they go come together and be able to put that type of energy on stage like that So that’s basically what the foundation of this is Just I you say this brothers getting together talking shit, but us getting together genuinely talking shit and turn into 7,000 people running around with a phones out screaming so They’re not just like This is historic Look so the family doing everything we got it and you kill them you can win the governor thing Y’all got to see what I’ve been no, but I’ve been knowing it yeah, I got to see it firsthand I hope it actually felt like y’all come cuz that’s how they treat each other. Yeah like me I’m just glad to be here represent for the ladies, you know here with my brothers They always invite me to 85 style show has Sony showed me so much love in the beginning of my career So I let these guys man. I look up to them. These speakers are legit. Don’t freak out Thank you, thank you we’re back

100 thoughts on “THE FAMU HOMECOMING STAND-UP COMEDY SPECIAL 2018

  1. Lous was tryna see who the dudes was too cause he was tryna talk more shit peaking round the chair like that 😭😭😭

  2. AM STILL WATCHING THIS IN 2019 ……GREAT WORK TO YA ALL BIG UPS TO DC ….. THEY WAY THE FUNS WELCOME HIM WAS TOOOOOOO DHOPE

  3. Chico took me out taking about stealing from the cafe and bookstore. We deadass did use to try to take food back to the dorms. Especially on fried chicken Wednesday

  4. I Love how DC was welcomed!
    Wow it's crazy how these 3 are so fucking entertaining. They are A GREAT TRIO! I hope they stay rocking together! MUCH LOVE and RESPECT goes out to-CHICO BEAN, DC FLY & KARLOUS MILLER
    P.S Chico good shit my nigga! 👍💯👍💯

  5. "Your feet sweatin"- DC Young Fly🤣😂👣

    Tap👇 the like if you watched to that part and 😅🤣😆

  6. I just love when a whole bunch of black propel get together like this and have a good fuckinng time feeding off each other energy and turning up bruh I just love that shit man

  7. I COULDNT NOT BREAAAATTHHHH 💀💀💀💀‼️‼️‼️ When the showed that nigga shoes 💀💀💀💀💀💀 AHHHHHHHHHHHH IM HYPERVINALATING

  8. Chicooooo! You are hilarious! I went to a PWI and I could STILL relate. Your set was A1 👌🏽😂😂😂

  9. They all sounded really dumb when it came to those questions #NoGoals! Is this what dating is like now in 2k19? 👑👑👑

  10. Fella pay attention to the keys words of disappointment. From 1:12:14 – 1:12:49 Why is this the mentality supposed to acceptable and respected. How is this supposed to be attractive, normal, and perfectly justified for women to act like this. But this same type of behavior when its men, deems we have fragile egos, frail masculinity, body/image shaming, or my fav quote to date "This my body and you don't have a right to an opinion about it" Yet you judge and body shame every nigga that lack a print, or a Greek Letter, Camero/Charger/Challenger. This why for my safety and health, I had to avoid dating, friendships, or interacting with women all together now. They think its funny and a game, until shit backfires and blows up in they're faces. Now the offender is playing the victim, and the victim is the accused offender. Shit is a traumatizing, illogical, and cause unnecessary stress for men, even one who don't do anything wrong. So its initially a lose lose situation for all men. So with that being said, Fellas focus and work on yourselves!!! Fuck these bitches (meaning avoid them period), get your LIVES, MONEY, SPIRIT, MIND, and whatever else make you who you are and happy together for yourself. Be selfish as fuck. Stop letting these women tell you, your worth, when they can barely understand their own.

  11. This is the best episode of the 85 south show.. the part when dc came out was the best but I really love the episode 🥰❤️😂🤣

  12. Dude in the white shirt was trying too hard to be cool and show out. Shit wasn't cute but props to Chico for being calm

  13. @dcyoungfly u lit!!!to be your age!!!they went crazy…KEEP PUSHING…VERY INSPIRING!!!TALK YO SHIT MY NIGGA!!!

  14. OMMFG This show was lit. I love the 85 South Show and just know you guys are on my bucket list. I will see you guys live one day! 😍😘❤️💯

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