Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The new old people are going to suck | Lachlan Patterson


I come from a mixed-race family, my
mother is white and my father is dark white, so I have a very diverse ethnic
background. My dad’s getting old, man. He’s getting really old, starting to hang
plates on his wall. That seems to be an age. I love old people, man. I always hang
out with old people. Hang out with old people, you know? They teach you how to
slow down and and just take your time. You ever want to learn patience, sit with
your father and watch him enter his email address with an Apple TV remote. That’ll teach you patience. Get to know the old people man, because the new old people that are coming are gonna be the
worst old people we’ve ever had. We got got some terrible old people coming, man. 50 years from now… Old people now still have stories. You ever sit with an old person and look at their photos? Every photo’s got a story. “What’s this, grandma?” “Here is a picture of your great-grandfather standing beside Charles Lindbergh before he flew across the Atlantic, the first ever
transatlantic flight in history.” That’s an amazing story. Can you imagine listening the stories of old people’s photos 50 years from now? How terrible that
experience is going to be? “What’s this, grandma?” “Here is a picture of
my breakfast. What a breakfast! And here are some shoes I once thought about buying and here is the wing of a plane and here is the weather forecast. Here is a picture of your
great-grandmother staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. Here are twelve more of
that exact same photo. Look!”

100 thoughts on “The new old people are going to suck | Lachlan Patterson

  1. The 'photographs shared 50 years from now' was done by Norm MacDonald on his last Letterman appearance about 4 years ago. I'll let you decide if it's a rip off.

  2. He's got a way different look now. I had forgotten his name so I didn't recognize him until he started talking

  3. And I'm old enough to know that this is inspired by (I won't say ripped off) of a Nick Swordson act from the mid 2000s.

  4. Young people, it's so sad because one day they're all gonna die. It's so sad! Dead; all of them…
    L- O-fucking-L !!!

  5. You know how the millennials are always on tv saying their generations opinion counts more than the others and whatever cause they are the young people. I bet when my gen gets a little older and they are the old people they'll be yelling that their opinion counts most cause they are the old people. I've never seen a more self centered group. (Note I'm just generalizing I have friends and teachers that are millennials and they are great people just the ones that are always on the news for something bug me so much)

  6. The little picture hand-swipe gesture he does just adds to the hilarity of it all. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  7. So true. The kids today have no soul. Most are hopelessly pathetic. The worst part is they are supposed to take care of us as elders. Hope you like being shoved off of a cliff. Something to look forward to for sure.

  8. LOL!! Never thought of this! Its so right! What will the new old people have to tell …..nothing at all!! Only show a thousand selfies!!!

  9. I like Lachlan but why did he change his look to that of a homeless guy? He used to be clean cut and was funny as heck when he did the George Foreman grill routine.

  10. I feel bad for the millennials. At least when I was under 35 we weren't tied to our phones/computers all day. I've got tons of stories and experiences of things I actually did out in the world in my teens/20s. going places, doing crazy stuff, being with other people. So many people this age are going to have nothing but stories about how they did nothing but look at memes or play video games for their entire teens and twenties. It's like watching a whole generation just throw their youth away on sitting around playing games….I could get behind people in their 50s and 60s doing that, because at that point you've lived a full live, and moving on to a virtual one as your body starts to slow down and whatnot makes sense. But seeing a 15 year old sit in their room all day every day for months playing minecraft is like watching someone die.

  11. So true. Most of the young people now haven't lived much. They only have their brains plugged into others simulated lives. SAD! very sad…๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

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