Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Nuclear Holocaust Will Begin with a ‘Yo Momma’ Joke


SO PRESIDENT TRUMP CONTINUES HIS
TRIP THROUGH ASIA. ON MONDAY HE WAS PART OF A
SUMMIT OF ASIAN LEADERS WHERE HE PARTICIPATED IN A LARGE GROUP
HANDSHAKE. IT GOT A LITTLE AWKWARD. TAKE A LOOK. LOOK AT THAT. (LAUGHTER)
DOESN’T THAT LACK LIKE THE WORST PRODUCTION OF RIVERDANCE I’VE
EVER SEEN. WHAT EVEN IS THAT, IS THAT THE
WALL THAT TRUMP’S BEEN TALKING ABOUT? IS THAT WHAT HE MEANS. CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN. LOOK AT THIS, THIS TIME
ZOOM– ZOOM IN ON TRUMP’S FACE. (LAUGHTER)
WAS THIS A HANDSHAKE OR AN EXORCISM. MEANWHILE TAKE A LOOK AT THE GUY
ON THE LEFT IN THE BLUE TIE. LOOK AT THIS, HE’S LIKE SCREW
IT, I’M NOT DOING IT. (LAUGHTER)
NO ONE IS GOING TO NOTICE ME WITH TRUMP PASSING A KIDNEY
STONE OVER THERE. NOW THE PRESIDENT WAS BUSY THIS
WEEKEND. ON SATURDAY HE FIRED BACK AT KIM
JONG-UN AND NORTH KOREA AFTER THE COUNTRY RELEASED A STATEMENT
THAT REFERRED TO HIM AS AN OLD LUNATIC. TRUMP TWEETED WHY WOULD KIM
JONG-UN INSULT ME BY CALLING ME OLD WHEN I WOULD NEVER CALL HIM
SHORT AND FAT. (LAUGHTER)
SO IN ORDER TO PROVE HE’S NOT OLD TRUMP REACTED LIKE A THIRD
GRADER. I MEAN RIGHT NOW WE ARE THIS
CLOSE, WE ARE THIS CLOSE TO KIM JONG-UN AND TRUMP DOING YO MOMMA
JOKES ON TWITTER. YO MOMMA SO STUPID SHE COULDN’T
GET INTO TRUMP UNIVERSITY. (LAUGHTER)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OH. YOU WERE LIKE OH, AS IN GOOD
BURN OR OH, YOU WENT TO TRUMP UNIVERSITY? (LAUGHTER)
IF YOU DID, I’M SO SORRY. LIKE YEARS FROM NOW WE CAN ONLY
HOPE THAT WE WILL LACK BACK AT ALL OF THIS AND LAUGH. AND WE WILL BE LIKE YOU REMEMBER
THAT TIME. WHEN TRUMP CALLED KIM JONG-UN
SHORT AND FAT. HA HA HA. ANYWAY, HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO
STAY IN THIS BUNKER? (LAUGHTER)
GREAT TIMES. NOW WHILE THE PRESIDENT IS ON
HIS TOUR THE FIRST LADY IS ALSO TRAVELING WITH HIM. DURING A PUBLIC APPEARANCE WITH
SOME SCHOOL CHILDREN AT A ZOO IN BEIJING MELANIA TRUMP GOT PHOTO
BOMBED BY A GIANT PANDA NAMED GU GU. TAKE A LOOK. LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT PHOTO. (LAUGHTER)
YOU CAN SEE IT IN THOSE GIANT SAD EYES, LIKE HELP ME, I’M
TRAPPED. ALSO, THERE IS A PANDA BEHIND
HER. (APPLAUSE)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) FINALLY, RESEARCHERS SAY THAT
THEY FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET AROUND APPLE’S NEW FACESCANNING
SECURITY FEATURE. THEY SAY THEY DID IT BY USING A
MASK THAT MIMICS THE USER’S FACE. YEAH, I KNOW, OH SHALL, INDEED,
SIR. THEY SAY THE MASK THEY USED IS
MADE OF PLASTIC, SILICON AND MAKEUP. OR AS THEY CALL IT HERE IN LOS
ANGELES, A– LOS ANGELES, A FACE. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IF SOMEONE
HAS A MASK OF YOUR FACE, GETTING YOUR IPHONE HACKED IS THE LEAST
OF YOUR PROBLEMS. NOW THE RESEARCHERS DUPLICATED
ONE PERSON’S FACE WITH EASE USING A PHOTO AND A 3D PRINTER. AND NOW THEY THINK IT COULD BE
POSSIBLE TO MIMIC ANYBODY’S FACE. IN FACT, THEY SAY THE ONLY FACE
THEY CAN’T SEE TO SIMULATE IS THIS ONE.

63 thoughts on “The Nuclear Holocaust Will Begin with a ‘Yo Momma’ Joke

  1. I always knew memes would be the Apocalypse trigger. Dank levels are reaching a high that should not be reached. MLG airhorns are a few decibles too high, and someBODY ONCE TOLD ME that we are number bee but every time the word "bee" is said, the entire Bee movie plays with iDubbz narrating the entire thing

  2. They make fun of him on purpose . It’s all a set up. They never planned for him to stay in office. I️ bet some shit happens and Obama anti christ ass reveals himself .. hhmmm
    Love me some James tho ! Lmao 😂

  3. KIM NAMJOON
    KIM SEOKJIN
    MIN YOONGI
    JUNG HOSEOK
    PARK JIMIN
    KIM TAEHYUNG
    JEON JUNGKOOK
    BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. In the interests of world peace, we need a volunteer to supervise a playdate for Donald Trump and Kim Jong un. Have them play in the sand togehter. Play a game where you name jouralists you'd like to suppress. Maybe take them bowling.

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