You never brought a girl home.
The leastyou can do
is let us talk to her. Yeah, l’d like to get to know her
a little better myself. Ain’t nothing wrong
with havin’ relations.
Don’t be ashamed ofthat. Relations is beautiful.
When l was young l used to
always have relations. Evey night, ifa nice gentleman
bring me flowers and candy, take me to a movie,
show me a lovelyevenin’, then l would take him home
and give him hot, lovely relations. Relations is a beautiful thing.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Especially twoyoung people. – That blowhole.
– Cletus! – Sometimes when l’m alone,
l relate to myself.
– l can relate. – Oh, Mama.
– l don’t wanna hear this shit
while l’m eatin’. [ Mama ] Cletus! – Carla, doyou like children?
– Oh, that’s wonderful. l can’t wait for Sherman
to bring me home some grandbabies. l know you’re gonna
enjoy making them babies.
Got those childbearing hips. [ Clears Throat ] Your family got any money?
l ain’t payin’ for no big-ass wedding. l know a wonderful minister.
What religious background areyou? l still got mywedding dress.
Ifyou want it, l’ll take it in. You’d look so lovely in it.
It’s white though. Can you wear a white
wedding dress, young lady? Now, Sherman, you can wear
a white tuxedo. ‘Causeyou know Sherman-
[ Whispering ] Sherman
has never had relations. Mama, you gonna
embarrass my baby. l hope you got a strong back. When you get all that man,
and release all that
that’s been built up… for 35 years- Just wantin’ and wantin’
and wantin’! Whoo! Might make
your head blow off. Pop goes the weasel! l got my own selfhot
tellin’ that stoy. Pop goes the weasel,
’cause the weasel say ”pop”! You gonna get married
here or in Chicago? [ Mama ] Do you cook?
‘Cause somebody’s got to
feed my Sherman. Yeah, l know a wonderful church
down there on Main Street, but theywon’t maryyou
ifyou’re a lesbian. Not that l have anything
l love lesbians. – Lesbians is cool.
– There’s nothing wrong
with a little bingo. A little cunnilingus
ain’t never hurt nobody. Why is it the woman always gets the choice
where they’re gonna be married? Tradition, my ass!
l ain’t gonna pay for eveybody
flyin’ to no Chicago! – You know how much
plane tickets cost?
– You cheap bastard. We’re gonna have to
drive down there. l’m not driving
over to Chicago. # Sherman gonna have relations # – My baby’s not gettin’ married-
– [ Loud Fart ] There you go again,
poppin’ offgas in front
ofthis lovelyyoung lady. We’re tying to have a meal.
Put that brake on this gas. l hopeyour ass turn into a frog. – Don’t nobodywant to hear
your flatulence, Cletus Klump.
– [ Loud Fart ] [ Mama ]
You’re such a disgrace! – l stopped holding my gas
a long time ago.
– You spoiled the dinner! [ Ernie,Jr. Laughing ]