– Oh, hi, it’s me,
Karl-Heinz Baldwin, the youngest of the all
the Baldwin brothers. I was separated at
birth from my siblings, and grew up in Germany, to become Germany’s most
famous actor in the world. I am now at the Roasting of
Alec Baldwin, my old brother, to get some tips of how
to break into Hollywood. – How come Alec didn’t
ask you to be on the show? – Well, we are on, as you
say, not-speaking tips. – Oh, oh. – You know old me, of course. – Of course, yeah. – And so, but now it’s time
of the move to America, to become a big shit, ya? – Right, that’s not
a phrase we use, but it could, it can be. – I’m surprised you
do not know who I am. I am the 32nd Baldwin brother. I have done all of
the Baldwin films, except in German language. (speaking in foreign language) Huh, yes? – I don’t think I’ve seen those. – You have not seen that? (speaking in foreign language) You know this one. This is (speaking in foreign
language), as you know. – Oh, (speaking in
foreign language). – It’s 30 Rock. – So nice to meet you,
you’re so handsome. – Thank you very much, Becky. – Mm-hmm.
– Oh, okay. – I love the Baldwin brothers. – Oh, then I am the lucky
13, like a bakery dozen. – Yeah, I’d like to take one
of the bakery dozen home. – Oh, oh, I’ve got many
bagels in my trunk. – Yeah, yeah! – It’s (speaking in foreign
language), as everyone knows. It’s the German Backdraft. I played as a Baldwin,
and you played the child. – The child, yes. It was a very controversial
moment in our lives. – Well, say it with me. (both speaking in
foreign language) – Ja.
– Yeah. It rolls off the tongue. – It’s, “A Sneaky U-Boat
Chases a More Sneaky U-Boat.” Can you, this is for you. – Sure, oh, I can take it? – Yeah, you may have it.
– Oh my god. Thank you so much. – Do you have representation,
can you give this to them? – Of course, I’ll
hand it off to CAA. – You want me to give
this to somebody? – Yes, I am like, I’m as you
say, the shits in Germany, the shits.
– Sure. – But here I’m–
– You’re trying to break into the American culture. – I’m just a tiny turd here, and I need to become a
larger piece of feces, so I would like–
– Yeah, I can definitely give it to somebody. – Great.
– The CD’s missing. – Scheisse! I love you, and if
you need any oral sex, or anything like this, as a way to help
further, or couch potato. Oh my god, I’m from Wisconsin,
and I never want to be rude, so sure, I will accept
your oral sex, sir. – Wonderful, you are so welcome. – I really do wish you
the best with all this. – Thank you very much. – Oh, this is (speaking
in foreign language). – Yes, “Hunt for Red October.” You know it, you’ve seen it. – Yeah, I own a
collector’s edition. – Yes, I signed, that was you? – Yes.
– Oh, we only sold one. – I’m sorry about that. – No, it’s fine. – I see why you’re so famous. You’re winning, like,
the jawline Olympics. – Ya, Ya, Ya.
– Look at that jawline. You could hang a kitchen
radio underneath that thing. Look at that,
– Trust me, we’ve done it. To further my career, will you please take
a headshot with me? – Sure.
– Okay. ♪ You are so sexy ♪ ♪ Yeah, baby ♪
– Okay. – Ever since I’ve
been holding this, my thighs have been sweating. It’s not you, it’s my own fault. – It’s also observant,
if you want to. – Right up in there. – That’s how I smuggle all
my DVDs, ja, okay, bye-bye. Ya.
– Thank you so much. – Thank you as well. I’ll see you soon on the other– – I can’t wait to
not watch this. – I, okay. – Write my name on it, and
make sure it gets to me. I’ll see you at the after party. – I love it. – Great.
– Ya. Who was that? – Ya, cool, cool, cool.
– All right, man. – Cool, cool, cool.
– Thank you, great job. – Ya, great to meet you. Thank you very much. That went very well, so. This was a very successful
rouge carpet for me. I did give many of my
DVDs away to people, and so, very exciting. Excuse me, eh, eh, eh. They are almost all gone.