Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Straightest Dude Ever

– Hey, sorry I’m late. – No worries, thanks for coming. – Oh yeah, of course. By the way, I brought my friend
John. I hope that’s okay. – (laughs) God, why’d
he have to bring John? – Who’s John? – He’s one of those straight guys that’s always shoving it in your face. He’s flaming straight. (metal music) (grunts) – Sup guys. Cool party. Need
me to fix your fuse box? – Nope, John. Fuse box is fine,
just try to enjoy yourself. (thumps) Don’t nut tap me! – No homo. You guys want a beer? – Yeah, I’ll take a beer. Oh, it’s warm. – You guys got a lighter? – Do you smoke? – No. See the game last night? – What game? There’s
baseball– that was just– – Oh, man, that guy’s so
straight he doesn’t even finish conversations properly. – Okay, but don’t you think he’s acting just a little bit too straight? I mean, I don’t have a problem
with it, but some people do. Does he have to wipe
his hands on his pants? – Is that a straight guy thing? – Yeah, straight as the 40 yard line. – Now he’s doing rap arms,
but he’s not even rapping. – Oh, I bet he freestyles though. Scratching the back of his head a lot. – He looks like maybe he’s hurt. – That’s so straight. Man, I’ve always wanted like a super straight friend, you know? – I mean, it’s pretty fun. He
smells like shit all the time. – What about me? – Shh, he’s pretending the
drumset’s right in front of him. Classic straight guy move. – He’s rocking out. (rock music) (groans) – Whoa, nice sunglasses. – Got them at a gas station. – Cool. – You got a lighter? – No. – (sighs) Fuck. – Whoa. He’s as straight as a
long piece of dried spaghetti. – Zack, I didn’t know your
friend John was straight. – Okay, how can you tell he’s straight? – He’s got that like, straight voice. – It’s like a not gay James Dean. – James Dean was gay? – Yeah. – Really. – Big time gay. – Really? – I don’t know. – Your stud’s here, if
you wanna hang something. – (all) Thank you. – I’m straight too, you know. I just don’t feel like flaunting it. – Okay Raf, that’s coming
on a little bit too strong. See, he’s just straight,
straight as a boomerang that doesn’t function properly
because it’s so straight. – If he puts his hands down his pants– (all yell) (groans) – I bet he’s the type to really
take charge in the bedroom. – I really want him to tell me how to look, dress, think, and feel. – He’s a jerk. – (both) I know. – He’s checking out the TV.
He’s checking out the TV! – Panasonic? – Yeah, it’s a Panasonic. – Okay. – Okay what? Is that
good, bad, Panasonic what? – Yo, chill out, man. – Yeah. – You got a lighter? – You already asked me that.
Look, you’re straight, okay? We all know that. There was never a doubt in
our minds, you’re straight. You don’t have to shove it in
our faces all the time, okay? It’s too much. That’s not even
straight, that’s gay as hell. What are you doing? (all yell) – Hockey. – Yo, if I could get real for a sec? I know a lot of people don’t accept me because I’m so straight. But you know what? I may know how to fix a light
switch, but I ain’t one. I can’t turn off my
straightness, you know? I’m straight. I’m straight. Love it or leave it, you know? If you’d excuse me, I gotta go
sharpen my knife collection. (punches) (groans) – Hey, what’s up? It’s
Allie from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe, click here to see some more cool
stuff, and if you wanna see a hot babe in the city, click here. I made that. This is what I like.

100 thoughts on “The Straightest Dude Ever

  1. straight people are 99% of the population… this makes no sense….. how can you stereotype 99% of all people?

  2. when did college humor become so unfunny? idk.. theyve just lost it over the course of a decade. RIP college humor.

  3. The funniest part about this, is the guy who played the "Straight guy" in this, is actually gay IRL. lol

    He was just in a Michael Henry video.

  4. When he’s like “I can’t turn off my straightness you know” I was like thank shit, if you were gay I would wanna die

  5. James Dean was gay?
    "Big time gay"
    "I dunno"
    Seems accurate to the way most people interpret "posthumously rumored bisexual"

  6. This is how gays come across to us. The super gays are always in everybody's face so that the whole world knows they are gay.

  7. Can't wait for everyone to become gay ("just because it's cool") and then create a Straight Pride Flag (will resemble the glorious flag of Deutschland 1933-1945)

    Let's start now: someone create a pettition to make a Straight Pride Flag, so we can flip the world around. LMAO

  8. I had more than a dozen of these idiots in my and the other two classes when I still were in school 🤦‍♀️ but maybe it just looked like this because we had a ton of lgbt+ people at my school it has an explanation but English is hard 🤷

  9. I might be the least "straight" straight guy I know, but sharpening your knife collection is pretty damn relaxing.

  10. i've watched this video several times and never before have i checked the description and lemme tell you it was like getting hit in the back of the head with a chair

  11. + It's like a not gay James Dean.
    – James Dean was gay?
    + Yeah.
    – Really.
    +Big time gay.
    – Really?
    + I don't know.

    Lol wtf 😂

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