Laughter is the Best Medicine

The Two Kinds of Guys Who Go to a Strip Club - David Spade

I went to a strip club Danna I'm just gonna tell you this I'm only telling you about the strip club because if I talk about my act it's a write-off I went to this place I just want to get my 90 grand back now I went to the strip club it's called cheetahs or Cheetos no not she does she does and I make it rain you know me I'm like a rapper I don't [Applause] they make it rain and they think they're so cool they're like singles you know they got the ones they got a hefty bag full of ones what does that $180 it's not that big a deal but they're like Instagram so I've realized it's sort of embarrassing for the girls because it's a little undignified and the strippers they get a lot of money it's raining obviously on them but they've got you know you can only hold X amount of dollars in your hand like this you know they're always like parent and then there's like how I'm interning a little strapped there and then the rest is on the ground so at the end of the song it's all sexy think it's a weird when they got to get down there music scrape scrape great Melissa give me a second great and they got a Dustbuster I feel weird right now because they're naked so fast I didn't know what to do you grow up you date girls you're like on weeks Kauai the clothes come off this is 15 seconds fully nude and it just jars you you're either one way you're either the awkward guy which I am where I go ha ha ha whoa birthday suit that's what they call it yeah no these are my friends no we're just chillin it's all cool it's all good yeah yeah no we're just partying bop bop bah that's where babies come from you know they don't like that oh you're the quiet psycho mm-hmm nice step away not all models in the old strip clubs either new who likes some rough trade running around Oh some dinged up shit yeah now that one's getting lady there unless she's the one to gothe a kilo of coke and a babysitter it's not happening hmm this girl comes up to me she goes you want to dance I go table dance what's up I play dumb you know it's so smart I go she goes well DJ plays a song I strip off all my clothes end of the song give me 20 bucks I go it's just right now there's a recession how cailed it she doesn't invite on a stick hmm so I go right and she's like and the guys like this love is taking its toll it's breaking in front of me I have no choice and I don't say it what's going on and that's the the song came unplugged they didn't I go no it was electrical storm maybe an earthquake good oh my god is that how they get you they don't play though oh my god oh that's good oh you got me you got me asshole you did it another guy's stupid it worked yeah you checked me good job there's your 20 go high-five all your stripper buddies she goes you want another dance I go bitch what's yeah I'll take one more so sad pathetic nanana nanana Donna that aren't that answer that done tenant they're just talking here the fucking works yet damnit one more this is why I'm broke actually here's one trick you can do it when I was doing Tommy Boy in Toronto Chris Wood we got this you can do to your friends he would go to the strip club and he'd find me the roughest raddius grossest stripper and he'd buy me ten table dances in a row from her and it's so horrible because there's nothing you can do you have to ride it out it's too mean so I'm stuck with this pops out of the back how's that going that's a real good guy all right tell you what I don't give too many dances no more I'm in a bit of a forced retirement I got my bum leg that's mostly cuz there's snow oh I'll feel this one tomorrow I should have stretched I need to keep that prednisone in my system oh yeah courtesy of your buddy I got the flu you can't catch this the first day let's do this I want to dig my heels into the shag I want to make sure get my beaver up there and you're through my kid loves Joe Dirt oh how old is he he's 47 holy shit that's higher than I thought you'd say hey you guys thanks for coming down I'll see ya you you

49 thoughts on “The Two Kinds of Guys Who Go to a Strip Club – David Spade

  1. David's new Comedy Central show, Lights Out w/ David Spade, premieres tonight! Subscribe to the channel right here for clips & more:

  2. The vocal intonation, cadence, and conversational material was spot on in that impression😂😂

  3. I can't believe you go to strip clubs david spade. I use to like you as an actor, but if I was your sister and I found out you went to strip clubs I'd kill myself too.

  4. I know just putting a quote in the comments is lame but that "holy shit, that's higher than I thought you'd say" is such a great walk off. It felt underappreciated so I wanted to give him his props… "What'd you do?!?" is my all time favorite line of his, subtle comedy genius.

  5. Hes next to go. He needs help. His jokes show it. Save him. Stop laughing. Notice the pain behind his eyes

  6. One of the best stand-ups in history. I still watch "Take the Hit" on DVD all the time and just found out that my close friend has a copy and watches it all the time too. He's a legend and his Norm Mcdonald Podcast/Show appearances are mandatory viewing. Stoked to watch "Lights Out".

  7. Both him and Adam Sandler always refer to Chris, as their friend, even decades after his death. That is one incredible friendship.

  8. Anybody else catch that.. up in Toronto for Tommy Boy(1995) .. she says my son loves Joe Dirt(2001)… oops 😬

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