Laughter is the Best Medicine

Top 10 BRUTAL Malcolm Tucker Insults

If you see this guy coming, you better start
running. Welcome to WatchMojo UK, and today we’ll
be counting down our picks for the top 10 most brutal Malcolm Tucker insults. For this list, we’ll be looking at the most
offensive, inventive and sweariest insults from Peter Capaldi’s political spin doctor,
Malcolm Tucker. A central character in “The Thick of It”
and the 2009 film, “In the Loop”, most of Malcolm’s dialogue can be diluted down
to threats, insults and rants – and these are his greatest hits. There’s a lot of bad language ahead – you
have been warned! Amidst a cabinet reshuffle, Malcolm’s on
the phone trying to find a new Secretary of State. And this entry is unique because it’s possibly
the only time Malcolm may have accidentally insulted someone, by casually dropping death
and abortion into conversation. It perfectly encapsulates his complete lack
of empathy and restraint. Malcolm and Cliff Lawton go way back… To the very first episode, in fact, when Malcolm
was integral to Cliff’s resignation. So, when they cross paths in the Press Office
during the 2007 special, “Spinners and Losers”, there’s quite a bit of tension. But Malcolm’s not interested in catching
up, and he cuts the ice with this savage remark. First impressions are always important, and
Malcolm’s is naturally outrageous. Sticking with the first episode, and with
the Cliff Lawton confrontation, and Lawton’s visibly shaken as he prepares to meet Tucker. So, when
one of the first lines we hear from Malcolm is him describing someone as a sugary strap-on,
it instantly illustrates his rampant wit and notoriety. Of course, many of Malcolm’s most memorable
lines come as part of an almighty rant. And they’re often at Ollie’s expense. Following a disastrous loss of immigration
data in her first week as Secretary of State, Nicola Murray tries to steady the ship by
enlisting the help of Chris Addison’s character. Malcolm’s already incensed, but when he
hears of Ollie’s involvement, he loses it completely. Phil Smith’s in the firing line next, as
Tucker tries to maintain a semblance of control. Ollie rounds on Smith first, but his attempts
at authority are just a warm-up fight for Phil, who stands no chance once Malcolm gets
involved. Launching into a long winded, anatomically-inspired
threat, Tucker leaves his victim stunned into submission. Featuring in another fantastically profane
rant, Malcolm eviscerates Nicola, again following the immigration data loss. Putting an unexpected spin on the “bulldog
chewing a wasp” expression, he has us imagine EastEnders legend June Brown in a particularly
grim scenario. He’s got a unique way with words, that man. For possibly the most famous exchange in “The
Thick of It”, Nicola and Malcolm come to blows once more – following an unfortunate
photo shoot. Nicola accuses Malcolm of sabotage, but the
tables quickly turn when Tucker attacks. “Omnishambles” was eventually christened
OED “Word of the Year” in 2012, as Malcolm’s influence broke new boundaries. As has become blatantly apparent, Malcolm
couldn’t care less who he offends, or how personally he offends them. Backbencher Ben Swain’s in the crosshairs
here, and Tucker’s very unimpressed by his latest TV appearance. Cue a deluge of merciless insults, rounded
off with some vicious inspiration from the deep blue sea. A climactic scene for the series as a whole,
and arguably Malcolm’s most epic rant, and Ollie’s on the receiving end once again. A changing of the guard appears imminent,
but Tucker’s not about to idly stand by and watch it happen. So, he unleashes merry hell in Ollie’s direction,
crushing the young upstart with every syllable he spits. There really is only one Malcolm Tucker – accept
no imitations! Before we reveal our number one pick, here
are a few honourable mentions. We’ve gone feature-length for top spot,
with Malcolm Tucker’s big screen debut, “In the Loop”. After delivering critical, and fabricated,
intel to the US Assistant Secretary of State, Capaldi’s character demands an apology for
a previous slight. But, when he doesn’t get one, he slips into
insult overdrive – delivering the most malicious swears he can muster. It’s Malcolm Tucker at his brutal best.

94 thoughts on “Top 10 BRUTAL Malcolm Tucker Insults

  1. The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin. His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister. Lego. They're all made of fucking lego."

  2. Bleeping out the swearing is just wrong. I know some people dislike swearing but those people can go suck on some lubricated horse cocks.

  3. I want to see Peter Capaldi appear on SNL as Malcolm Tucker so he can just insult all the Trump Administration by being hired by Trump, it would be just a priceless sketch!

  4. Way to go Mojo. Take a character renowned for his obscene outbursts, make a list of his top ten and then bleep out the expletives. I suppose that irony to you is just something like goldy and bronzy.

  5. Ok but #2 isn't even a fucking insult. #2 is Malcolm Tucker finally being defeated and having a mental breakdown. He's obviously trying to warn Ollie away from the job, while simultaneously outlining in profound detail how becoming a monster has destroyed him and he doesn't even know who he is anymore.

    Ollie even responds 'jesus Malcolm, this is like the video you leave on YouTube before you blow your brains out!'

    How can you rank that scene so highly and yet so blithely miss the point of it..? You're about as on the ball as a dead seal.

  6. "When I need your advice I'll give you the signal, me being sectioned under the mental health act."

    That killed me.

  7. Not only is my favourite not in this top ten… it's not even an honourable mention.
    To Ben: I'm telling you to stand up, you sack of fucking cum!

  8. No need to put a warning if you just bleep out everything anyways. IN A TOP 10 INSULTS LIST. Ridiculous

  9. Welcome to watchmojo UK where we defeat the whole purpose of the video by bleeping out most of what Malcolm Tucker is most famous for.

  10. there DEFINITELY needs to be an un-censored version when it's regarding a character like Tucker, with whom the f-bombs are as common as any preposition

  11. Jesus fucking christ stop talking over half the scene. Oh and bleeping expletives? Are you worried about being demonitized? This is a vid of The Thick of It, of course you will be.

  12. They know exactly what they're doing, despite the 'Mature Content' bullshit. I think they bleep out the swear words just to piss us all off.

  13. "Complete lack of empathy" – wot. This only depends who is involved, when it is uptight, incompetent politicians then yeah, but he doesn't lack empathy.

  14. Best insult Malcolm uses; "He's so dense that light bends around him.". Perhaps too clever for 98% of people though.

  15. What? You bleep the swearing? And by the way who cares about the context. Just gives the raw Malcolm Tucker, no blips, no comments.

  16. Thats right y too fuck would u put a fucking vidio on about scentless fucking swairing then blep the hole fucking hell out of it . U tea baged horse cock ! Get a life and kill ur self too day so we can all give a cheer.

  17. Fucking unwatchable compilation. We don't need to hear about the set-up, okay? And we certainly don't need you to explain why you think it's funny, you paste-eating lightweight, dunderheaded simpleton.

  18. The marzipan dildo and the using a croissant as a dildo analogy from the Veep are so similar. Both brilliant though.

  19. If you took this video and a version of this video without any commentary or transitions, the only difference would be that one would be a worthless, censored, add-nothing attempt at borrowing the popularity of a television show, whereas the other would be a worthless, censored, add-nothing attempt at borrowing the popularity of a television show…. so i guess there's no difference.

  20. I like the one where MT says,
    to a man with numerous face piercings,
    “I’ll fucking shove a fucking magnet down your throat and watch your fucking face implode!”

  21. Loved Malcom Tucker in the Thick of it one of my all favourite TV characters. Gutted his swearing couldn’t me shown in fall. His insults always made me laugh

  22. You really get the caracter of Malcom wrong eveyr chance you get… plus the bleeping? You make a fucking compilation of fucking insults and then you fucking decide to bleep out all the fucking fucks you fucking twat.

  23. and surely my favorite character from all pop culture, he is extremely funny, and very crazy, I love Malcolm and the thick of it and in the loop are two masterpieces.

  24. Mojo your warning is about as dread inducing as a left fucking hook from Stephen Hawking , you take this character and censor every relevant word that makes these insults all the more brutal. You utter fucking bastards. Shut down your shit and fuck off.

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