Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Trump Pressures Ukraine to Investigate Biden & Impeachment Looms | The Daily Show


Donald J. Trump. Once again, the president of the
United States is in big trouble. ANNOUNCER:
NBC News special report. Good afternoon, everyone.
We’re coming on the air in this busy news day
with breaking news, an announcement
from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of a formal impeachment inquiry
into President Donald Trump. Today, I’m announcing
the House of Representatives moving forward with
an official impeachment inquiry. The actions taken to date
by the president have seriously violated
the Constitution. The president
must be held accountable. No one is above the law. Holy crap. (cheering and applause) It’s finally happening? After two years of avoiding it, Trump may finally face
articles of impeachment, which, believe me,
he is not happy about. It’s impeachment,
which Trump hates, plus articles,
which he hates even more. Yeah. If his mom ever caught him
with a Playboy magazine, he’d be like, “I swear,
I’m not reading the articles– just looking at the boobs.” And if you thought Trump was… (coughs):
unhinged before, I can’t even imagine
what he’s gonna be like now. Like, he’s been crazy. Can you imagine
what he’s gonna be like now? You better keep your kids away
from Twitter, people, ’cause this thing is gonna be
a Category 5 tweet storm. And this one will hit Alabama. (cheering and applause) But… but how did we get here? And what does it all mean? Well, let’s find out
in our brand-new segment, The Full Story. -♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause) So, how did Donald Trump
land himself on the road to impeachment? Well, it all started last week, with a mysterious report
from a whistleblower. ANNOUNCER:
This is CNN breaking news. And we do begin
with that breaking news. CNN has learned that President
Trump had a communication with a foreign leader
that was so troubling to one
U.S. intelligence official that they filed
a whistleblower complaint. The Washington Post reports
this involved a promise. It is not known
who the whistleblower is or who the foreign leader is. Yes. It was so exciting. Trump had a mysterious phone
call with a foreign leader, and everyone was wondering
what it could be. Did he promise Kim Jong-un
that he could use his Netflix password? Or did he promise Vladimir Putin a role in the next
Fast and Furious movie? We didn’t know. The even more exciting question
was who is the whistleblower. ‘Cause it could be anybody. Except Mike Pence. Oh, because he doesn’t believe
in blowing things. Yeah. Mother… Mother says the mouth
is for prayer. Nothing else. He doesn’t even blow out
birthday candles. He just uses a fire extinguisher
on the cake. “In the name of Jesus, I extinguish
these tiny wax penises.” So, the breaking news was that someone
in the intelligence community had reported Trump
for doing something shady with a foreign leader,
and it didn’t take long for the details to come out. WOMAN: President Trump has been
accused of threatening to hold back military aid
to the Ukraine if leaders there fail to investigate former
Vice President Joe Biden. MAN: The president pushed
eight times for an investigation
into Joe Biden. At the time of the call, the Trump administration
was withholding $250 million in military aid to Ukraine that
Congress had already approved. Yeah, this is huge. Donald Trump is accused of holding back military aid
approved by Congress for Ukraine unless they helped him
dig up dirt on Joe Biden, which, if true,
would be devastating. It’s an abuse of power,
it’s extortion, and maybe worst of all,
it’s asking a foreign country to meddle in America’s election.
Yeah. Which is one thing,
that if you were Donald Trump, you should stay away from,
right? ‘Cause they’d just beaten
the Russia case. It would be like
if the day after Michael Jackson got acquitted
of touching kids, he was like, “Let’s celebrate! Slumber party at my house!” (laughter) And as bad as it is for America, think about what it felt like
for Ukraine. These guys are
in the middle of a war, fighting off Russian invasion,
right? And now, because of Trump, they
have to deal with this shit? Can you imagine them
on the battlefield just like, “Comrade, Comrade,
we need more ammunition!” He’s like… (coughing) “What do you mean–
more ammunition? No more bullets until
we dig up dirt on Joe Biden!” He’s like, “Biden?
Didn’t they see the clip “where he forgot Obama’s name? He’s burying himself!” (laughter) So… (laughter) (applause and cheering) (coughs) So, this was a pretty damning
accusation against Donald Trump, because using the power
of the presidency for your own political gain is
about as bad as it gets, but according to Trump,
he ain’t done shit. WOMAN:
Mr. Trump dismissing the report as “presidential harassment,”
tweeting… That call was perfect.
It couldn’t have be nicer. And even the Ukrainian
government put out a statement that that was a perfect call. Yes, yes, yes. According to the Donald,
he did nothing wrong in his dealings with Ukraine. In fact,
they had a perfect call. (laughter) And, uh, can I be honest? I think he’s lying. (laughter) You know why? ‘Cause there’s no such thing
as a perfect call. Something always goes wrong. That’s why we text, right? There’s always something wrong
with a call. Either the phone’s cutting out, or you’re talking over
each other, or you tell them you love them,
and then, there’s just silence. It’s always something. And here’s another reason
I think he’s lying. If Trump has nothing to hide,
and he did nothing wrong, then why is he doing this? WOMAN: The Trump administration
is facing a Thursday deadline to hand over the complaint
to Congress, as is required by law. MAN: The president
is digging in his heels as the White House is blocking
the release of a whistleblower complaint
to Congress. Apparently, about
a conversation Mr. Trump had with a foreign leader
that raised red flags with an administration
official. Okay, you got to admit
that’s hella suspicious. Why is Trump breaking the law
to prevent Congress from seeing
the whistleblower’s report? He must be up
to something shady. Or maybe he just said something
really embarrassing on those calls, you know? Maybe it was like,
“Okay, great. “Well, it was nice
talking to you. “Oh, and by the way, “if I drink anything
after 8:00 p.m., I wet the bed. Bye-bye! Bye!” (laughter, applause) So,
despite a unanimous vote today from Democrats and Republicans
in the Senate to release
the whistleblower’s report, Trump and his people are trying
to block it at all costs. But the one silver lining
of any Trump scandal is that if you just wait
long enough, eventually, he’ll just spill the beans
himself. The conversation I had
was largely congratulatory, was largely corruption, all
of the corruption taking place, was largely the fact
that we don’t want our people, like Vice President Biden
and his son, creating to the-the corruption
already in the Ukraine. There was no pressure
put on them whatsoever, but there was pressure put on
with respect to Joe Biden. What Joe Biden did for his son–
that’s something -they should be looking at.
-(overlapping shouting) Okay, we all… we all…
we all heard that, right? Trump just said
there was no pressure, except for the pressure
to get dirt on Biden. That’s the only pressure
we’re talking about! (laughter, applause) That’s not a defense.
That’s an admission! That’s like Scar going, “Whoa,
whoa, whoa, I’m not a murderer. “I haven’t killed anyone
other than Mufasa. “In fact, he’s the one
you should be looking into. “What kind
of parent allows their child to run around with warthogs?” And in case you’re wondering,
in case you’re wondering, Trump’s claim is that while
Joe Biden was vice president, he pressured Ukraine
to fire their top prosecutor because he was investigating
a Ukrainian company that Biden’s son was
a board member of. That’s the story.
Now, there’s no evidence that supports
Trump’s accusation. But even it did–
even if it did– it wouldn’t negate
that Donald Trump abused the power of his office to try and dig up dirt
on a political opponent. So, that’s the full story. Ukraine, Trump,
impeachment, Hunter Biden. But there’s still one key piece
of the puzzle that’s missing. The whistleblower’s complaint. The spark that
has started this blaze. And if Trump refuses
to hand it over, we need to get it
some way or another. And thanks to Lenny Kravitz,
we have the perfect solution. (laughter) If you have
the whistleblower report, please, we need you
to e-mail it to… (cheering)

100 thoughts on “Trump Pressures Ukraine to Investigate Biden & Impeachment Looms | The Daily Show

  1. The US is ran by clowns and the circus will soon come to a close. Keep your mind, heart, and soul close to God, the BIBLE, and the love of Jesus

  2. "No one is above the law" according to the Democrats except if you're an illegal crossing the border to the United states. And upon arrival as an illegal, the Democrats will give you housing, education for your kids, healthcare for every illegal, etc… All the while homelessness in SF, LA, NYC are sky rocketing. The left and the alt left media are just shameful, dishonest, and disgusting. It just shows that these are just empty rhetoric from the left and the Democrats.

  3. Dump45 opened his mouth and the truth fell out?? 😂😂😂 " I did it" 😂😂 What part of that don't the GOP understand?? Justice is coming soon!!🇺🇸🌊🇺🇸🌊🇺🇸🌊🇺🇸

  4. The annoying part is that unless impeachment is unanimous, Trump wont leave the office. We have seen this with two presidents previously who were impeached but still in office.

  5. But what about Biden misusing his office — to hold US$ 1 billion in loan agreements if a certain prosecutor researching Biden's son corruption … Is fired???
    Biden threatening Ukraine that they just have 6 hours to do so. ….. This is on tape twice …. Why does Trevor say — there is no evidence to this —- Joe Biden has bragged about it multiple times ….. Once during last month's campaign trail itself at a fund raiser …..
    Why is this not being highlighted by late night gang ….. !!!!
    That's the bigger story … Of corruption …
    Also there is no whistleblower …..
    It's a rumor heard by someone about something …. Which was told to someone in the White House ….
    Impeachment is being started on a rumor …. How is that ok with anyone …..
    This is wrong …. And the late night gang is misleading the public …..
    Why can't there be balanced reporting on such a big thing ….
    Such a classified thing as a phone call between two world leaders being released ….. Why not do it with Obama and Hillary and Bill as well !!!!
    How is this ok with all of you?????

  6. Trump's f*ckery aside, Hunter Biden did have business ties with Ukraine, & it was an interesting one – filled with firing request by JB to Ukraine officials, against one eager prosecutor who went after Hunter.
    So, if Pelosi decides to impeach Trump, I'm fine with that, but letting Biden walk scot-free?
    Then Dems are just as crooked as GOP, nothing new here, let's move on then.

  7. I am happy that those idiots finally stopped acting like cowards and are considering impeaching him, but with his presidency nearly over, what’s the point? I don’t know how long it takes to impeach a government official but I’m guessing that it would take a while. Like, several months. If they do end up impeaching him, wouldn’t it end up being like, 8 or 9 months or so before he would have to leave office? The only good thing that would come out of this is that Congress can give the bastard what he deserves and it would speed up the election.

  8. The Dems are hilarious! They have not learned after again and again failing after each attempt to take Trump down! They couldn't even wait to hear the transcript first before making sure they don't get burned! Why do they always set themselves up? Because their hatred is so bad that they won't stop until they all fall flat on their face and lose all their supporters! 👍All I got to say is that they did it to themselves! They continue to jump the gun, run their mouths before even checking to see if they got the whole story. Wow! Exactly like the fake media! Looks like they can't wait to fail again! Trump is smarter than you think and he got them just where he wanted them.

  9. Hey here is a bright idea: Lets get a top CIA guy on the case, give him millions of dollars and let him work for 2 years. Im sure he will find something

  10. Nancy finally said "the dirty word" and grabbed PAB45 by the mushroom. 😎

    Toadstool is basically like the guy who was convicted of auto thefts and showed up to court w/ another stolen car. 🙄

  11. This is what Tevor, CNN, MSNBC and the rest will not tell you… For 5 years, Joe Biden's son, was paid 600k per year to serve on the board of a Ukranian gas company. Why would Joe Biden's son be on the board of a Ukranian gas company? He had no experience in the energy business, does not speak the relevant language and had no experience in the region. Well, turns out, at that very moment, Joe Biden was president Obama's point man for Ukraine.
    When there were investigations of corruption into the company in 2016, Joe Biden, while still vice president, pressured the Ukranian government to fire the prosecutor in charge of that investigation and the prosecutor was fired.

    Trump in a call with the new Ukranian president, threatened to delay $400 million military aid package to Ukraine unless Ukraine investigates the matter. For that, Trump is the bad guy. That's liberal logic for you.

  12. Yessss🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌👌👌👌👌BRAVO AMERICA FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT!!!!
    IMPEACH the ORANGE man

  13. The irony is, Trump will be brought down by actions against Biden, because he thought Biden will be the candidate 2020 – which he won't be. ^^

  14. That's gorgeous! The worst president in the history of my country may cause the impeachment of the worst president of the USA. Kinda ironic.

  15. I had last night a dream about an old man looking verry happy, telling me that the wife of another old man has given him something from her old husband, because she was going to divorce him, and he showed me 3 full cases of something he got from her.
    I thought this could be Joe Biden, telling me he will get help from Melania 'unpacking her husbands papers', evidence…guess how I laughted when Stephen Colbert joked last night the whistleblower could be Melania…😂😂😂😂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
    I am in South Africa and only watched Stephen just now. 😂😂😂

  16. If YOU want the REAL FULL STORY:
    Checkout these unfiltered and unbiased media outlets. 100% factual
    The Jimmy Dore Show, Secular Talk, Status Coup, Democracy Now, The Rational National, The Humanist Report, Kim Iverson, Abby Martin's show, MCSC, The Tim Black Show, Redacted Tonight, Real News Network and many more…. Trust that we need change & if you're tired of being lied to by these networks like fox news, cnn, msnbc, abc, cbs, the view…ect they're the sheep herders leading this 🌎 to destruction #GETINFORMED #REVOLUTION

  17. So it's funny because Democratic supporters don't realize that #1 trump won't be impeached. #2 do you guys realize pence will be your new man? No, no you don't, for some odd reason I think they honestly feel if trump gets impeached that there democratic idol will take charge. This is just nonsense!

  18. https://www.factcheck.org/2019/09/trump-twists-facts-on-biden-and-ukraine/

    “Hunter Biden did not violate any Ukrainian laws — at least as of now, we do not see any wrongdoing,” Yuriy Lutsenko, Ukraine’s then-prosecutor general, told Bloomberg News. Lutsenko, who resigned in August, said a corruption investigation into leaders of Ukrainian gas companies concerned a potential money-laundering transaction that had occurred before Hunter Biden joined the board.

  19. Cambridge analytica and facebook should start propaganda and feeding people shit ton of lies otherwise trump is going to jail

  20. Joe Biden is Trump's main threat in 2020 so it's 2016 all over again trying to dig up dirt on him like he did Hillary calling on foreign countries. He figured that if they find something, he can use it in his campaigns. Only this fool is so arrogant to admit publicly that he pressures Ukraine but it looks even worse on him now since hs is withholding aid allocated to help Ukrain by Congress for his political gain which is breaking the law.

  21. Dumb question from a foreigner: what did that bit about Lenny Kravitz refer to, at the end, when Noah posted the e-mail for the whistleblower send-ins?

  22. We know Pelosi and the sleepy's are corrupt and we know there is millions of corrupted people in America that would vote for them.

  23. There’s literally nothing to impeach him for. This is purely for show and will result in Trump’s re-election. Democrats are such fools.

  24. I now have a better understanding of the whole Biden deflection, and it's just as i thought, Trump and his band of freaking idiots are ignorant, they lack the brain capacity that creator even blessed a gnat with. Not one of you Trumptards have read anything dealing with the Hunter Biden or the role he played on the board of the gas company. Most of you idiots going by what you heard on Fox and nothing more.

  25. I love reading people's comments I just can't help myself. It's

    like an addiction. So in honor of those comments that I have

    read, I have decided to write my own comment. And it's all for

    you. I hope you enjoy reading my comment as much as I have

    enjoyed writing it. It's not an interesting comment, but I'm

    pretty certain you have read the comment up to this point, so

    you may as well just keep reading right down to the end. And

    also thank me for wasting your time cause this is very useless.

  26. 2:14 who would it be??
    – BASICALLY RUSSIAN DICTATOR WHO MIGHT HAVE MEDDLED IN THE ELECTION
    – NORTH KOREAN DICTATOR WHO WANTS TO NUKE EVERYONE
    – MIDDLE EASTERN LEADER OF A COUNTRY IN TURMOIL WITH GREAT STAKES IN AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY
    – mark rutte the dutch guy who bikes to work
    – MIDDLE EASTERN ROYAL INVOLVED IN ARMS DEALS AND OIL

  27. What about the other side of the story. What about Biden's son taking advantage of his father's position of power to get away with a 50,000 dollars a month salary as a member of Bursina's legal team. Im a registered democrat, and i dont like Trump, but this is very dishonest.

  28. United Shitholes of Assholes….the most idiotic nation in history of mankind. Nancy is fascist. Democrats and their presidents are mass murdering power hungry idiots. Trump is idiot power hungry republican. Republican presidents are mass murdering fascists. In this never ending fight for power millions of people was killied all around a world. Now when USA is broken , the nation is brainwashed to total idiocy they fighting a civil war for the rest pf power. And this clown is just a tool of propaganda. And this stupid nation applauding on the impeachment. Not realizing what is going in their fascist country, and what a suffering this warmongering fascist criminal nation caused to the world and how much their hated by whole world. Idiots. Yahwallah akbarshalom

  29. So apparantly raising suspicion that someone has done something corrupt and illegal IS illegal to Trevor Noah??? Wow every Democrat and Republican in the house and Congress including Trevor Noah himself should go to jail. Heck this whole segment is Trevor Noah doing the same thing he said Trump is doing. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *