Laughter is the Best Medicine

TUA »  I Would rather chew off my own foot  [HUMOR]

You throw another one of those goddam knives at me, I’m pressing’ charges Hey. Get up. We’re going -Where?
– To save the world. Oh, is that all? I thought they said it was a heart attack Yeah, according to the coroner well, wouldn’t they know?
– Theoretically. I told you to put on something professional What? This is my nicest outfit Where’d you go? The future. It’s shit, by the way. Called it – Sorry
– Liar. – Drop dead.
– Low blow And what about my consent? – Excuse me?
– Who gave you permission… …to lay your hands… on my son? – [both] What? Dad hated caffeine well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us Hey, bitches! so, what exactly is the plan here, big guy I’m with Diego, because screw you! And if Ben were here, he’d agree with me No, I don’t I’ve not finished Sorry, I’m just gonna go murder Mom. Be right back Funny. If I didn’t know he was such a prick, I’d say he looks almost adorable in his sleep You heard me. I didn’t touch you son.
– Oh, really? well, then how did he get that swollen lip, then? He doesn’t have a swollen– I told you to wait in the car yeah, but you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes We were eight You know what? It would be nice for people just to stick to– the plan All right, it’s showtime, baby Catch! Subtle. You know, the door was unlocked Klaus, get up. You can’t make me You just Patrick Swayzeed me Go faster I’ll do it Stick him Well, you attacked our house, tried to kill my family, and kidnapped my brother Diego, stop! I’d ask what you’re up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me… I don’t care. Jesus. Who do I gotta kill to get a decent cup of coffee You know, before you kill him, you might wanna hear what he has to say Are you all right?
– Who did this? Irrelevant. You know there are easier ways out of the house, buddy This one involved the least amount of talking Or so I thought I hate to intrude, but my manager says if you’re not gonna bowl, you gotta leave I draw the line at biting I can’t just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, ” Dad, could you just… stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?” Ah, shit what? I need to pee Jesus! You should have locks on your windows Looks like you’ve got your hands full Oh, this? No, no. I can do this whenever I’m just– I just misplaced something. That’s all Excuse me! Excuse me, it’s my son Kenny’s birthday today, and… Uh… wouldn’t your son be happier playing with kids his own age? Assuming it’s okay with your two dads I would rather chew off my own foot Yeah, well, my way works just fine Spread out. Yell if you, uh… you know, you’re in trouble Ah, inspiring leadership. One of the greats Maybe they’re here for Kenny’s birthday! Found it! Thank God! Delicious. so, what’s the plan?
– Uh, you wait out front – What?
– Yeah, you’re the lookout Do you hear gunfire? What about the gunfire? Come on, man, we’re the damn lookouts! Maybe I just wanna hang out with my brother. Not you. I love you! Even if you can’t love yourself!

19 thoughts on “TUA » I Would rather chew off my own foot [HUMOR]

  1. can we appreciate ben's 'what about the gunfire' for a moment? he knew the gunfire would trigger klaus' ptsd. ben is the sweeest.

  2. 2:17 “GO FASTER”
    Reasons why that was the dumbest decision (it’s Diego’s fault not klaus’s)
    1. Klaus can’t drive
    2. Your speeding towards a car and other people
    3. Klaus is trying to focus and by Diego yelling that throws him off
    4. Diego broke his arm because he let Klaus drive and he told him to go faster
    (It’s never klaus’s fault)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *