Laughter is the Best Medicine

Twilight on Crack – Aro is Bi

He thinks you’re gay. He thinks I’m gay? ♪ Bi, Bi, Bi ♪ (static) ♪ (Song: Bella’s Lullaby) ♪ (record scratch) (static) You stroll up to a party and someone says: Oh hey, you’re that gay guy. I’m that… I’m that what? First point here: I’m not gay. Second point here… …besides the point. Third point here: How is that even something you say to someone when you first walk up to them? That is literally like going up to somebody and saying: Hey, you’re the straight guy! What up? Hey! Hey you’re straight! Oohoo! (static) What are you trying to do? I just want to make out with you. I knew it. (static) It was really awkward. You weren’t straight. I don’t know if you thought you were straight… Oh, I thought I was. Wade, sometimes you think you’re straight and then you’re not. You know? (static) ♪ (Song: Bye, Bye, Bye, by NSync) ♪ Ah, it’s from Carlisle! Which is spelled with an S… …sweet Bianca. (♪ Hey, hey ♪) ♪ Bi, Bi, Bi ♪ And what might it be? Why, I thought you understood. ♪ Bi, Bi, Bi ♪ They have something I want. (♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪) ♪ Oh, I’m doing this tonight ♪ ♪ You’re probably gonna start a fight ♪ ♪ I know this can’t be right ♪ ♪ Hey, baby, come on ♪ ♪ I loved you endlessly ♪ ♪ When you weren’t there for me ♪ ♪ So now it’s time to leave ♪ ♪ And make it alone ♪ ♪ I know that ♪ ♪ I can’t take no more. It ain’t no lie. ♪ ♪ I wanna see you out that door ♪ ♪ Baby, Bi, Bi, Bi ♪ (static) So you like her, huh? Yes. So you like him now? Yes. I don’t get it. Who do you like? Girls? Boys? Yes! (static) ♪ I’m kissing all the boys and the girls ♪ (static) So you like everything. You gotta get a wicked amount of ass, dude. You can just tag and bag everything. Him. Her. Her. Her. Him. Him. Dude, are you hitting that? Nope. Got a boyfriend. (static) Like, how does that work, though. It’s like do you schedule it out? Are you like… Monday -Tuesday I’m gonna go for, like, dudes. And on like Fridays and… let’s say Thursdays… …I’m gonna like, like, chicks. But then on Wednesday you rest, because that’s… …like a personal day. That’s for you, you know, you take your time. But on the rest of the time you’re just slaying ass. (static) No you’re gay, you just won’t admit it. No, buddy. I see a lady, I think: “oo-chan chan cha” I see a boy, I think: “oo-chan chan cha. You know what I’m saying? (static) (woman’s voice:) Dating can be difficult, (man’s voice:) especially when
you meet all different types of people. Meet the psychic. He’s someone who thinks he knows you better than you know yourself. He’ll try to predict your sexuality before you do. He’ll tell you that he… …was once bisexual too. And… …we all go through that phase. And eventually he’ll be able to predict the future. I see you leaving me. Wait. What? (static) Aro: You’re my number one. I love you the most. More than anyone— John! John! You’re my number one! (static) I remember seeing, the other day, um… …some article in God knows what newspaper. But it was like: famous gay men that have married women. Like, right. There’s a word for this. ♪ Where have you been… all my life? ♪ (static) ♪ Can you feel… ?♪ ♪ the love… ♪ ♪ …tonight? ♪ (static) So, do you guys, like, go and check out guys together? (crickets chirping) ♪ All that I could say was… ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ All that I could say was… ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Um, um, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ All that I could say was… ♪ (static) People ask me: “Am I bi because I’m greedy?” Ooh, good one! Have you ever asked anyone that, who’s bi… No I haven’t because I… Honestly, honestly. Be honest with me. Have you… Has it ever crossed your mind when you’ve seen a bi person have you ever— You asked me if I asked it. You didn’t ask me if I ever thought it. (chuckles menacingly) I have thought it. You have. About you. ♪ Mmmm, watchya say. ♪ (static)

29 thoughts on “Twilight on Crack – Aro is Bi

  1. "It's from Carlisle." He's written "My dearest, Aro," with a comma after "dearest." He's written "My dearest, (pause) *Aro*!"

  2. ok maybe i'm hella behind but WHAT is that clip of aro reading a letter where he's like "carlisle…spelled with an S" PLEASE i need it to live (love your vids btw i'm binging them now)

  3. It’s scary how accurate the title of twilight on crack is. I’ve never done drugs but I had a strange feeling that someone may have given me drugs as I watched this lol

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