Laughter is the Best Medicine

Ultimate Dad Jokes Game

(rooster crowing) – Oh, gifticality, let’s see what it says. – We’re donating $1,000
to Children International to aid in their mission
to make a long term impact by helping kids and young
adults living in poverty. Please join us in giving
at – Alright, awesome. Well, that was a lot of
fun watchin’ some singin.’ – That stabbed me right in the hand. (everyone laughing) – It’s a hard job at the desk. – Yeah, I thought it was a lot easier, but Link just like effortlessly pulls it. – He has a pretty strong left arm. – Yeah, well … – So today’ all about dad jokes. – Yes, that’s what we’re gonna do. – We’re about to read some dad jokes. I would love to be a corny dad
one day, so I think this is. – Unfortunately, I can’t be
a dad, but I can be a mom. – You can be a corny mom,
you can be a corny mom. – But what we’re gonna do is… – [Stevie] You guys are doing great, you guys are doing great. – Thank you Stevie. – The voice of Stevie.
– Wow. – So what we’re gonna do
is I will read a joke, and you try and guess the punch line, and vice versa, and see how that goes. – See if I’m destined to be a corny dad, and if your destined to be a corny mom. – I mean, I feel like we will be. – I’m excited, let’s
do it, you wanna start? – I’ll start, yeah, yeah.
– Okay. – Okay, what do you call a factory that sells passable products? – What, a factory that
sells passable products? – Yeah, products that are just like okay. – They’re just like whatever? – They’re just like, they work, they’re at like the C plus of passing grades. – The Dollar General store,
I don’t know, what is this? – You’re just going very
literal, satisfactory. – Okay, cool, that was nice,
that was nice, alright mom. – (laughing) okay. – Okay, what do you call a fake noodle? – A fake noodle? I automatically just wanna say foodle, but I know that’s not a thing. – That’s right, it’s actually an impasta. – Oh, gotcha.
– You an impasta. – Here’s the thing about this
game, I’m so bad at puns. – I am not good at ’em either. – So this is…
– This is practice, Jen. – Yeah, yeah, I gotta
get better at my pun game Okay.
– Let’s see what you got. – What do you call an
elephant that doesn’t matter? – (snickering) an elephono. (Jen laughing) An elephony, an elephony. – That’s not an elephant
that doesn’t matter. – Uh, what is it?
– Irrelephant. – Okay, that’s much better,
alright much better. Okay, here we go, I got a good one for ya. Why couldn’t the bike stand up by itself? It was two tired! – God.
– You gotta be quick, Jen. – I didn’t know it was a speed game. – It was two tired. – Okay, I’m sorry, I was
thinking about the kickstand. I dunno, whatever. Why did the coffee file a police report? – Man, I’m bad at this. – It got mugged! – Okay, that makes sense, that
makes sense, ding, alright. – I figured I had to yell at
you ’cause you yelled at me. – Yeah, I can’t hear anymore. – [Stevie] Guys, I
really wanna see you try. Like I really wanna
hear the inner workings of your brain as you try and answer these. – Stevie, you’re hearing it,
there’s not much in there. I’m sorry, I’m disappointing you. – Crickets. – There’s crickets in there
but here we go, we’ll try. I won’t jump on ya. – Please let me think. – What do you get when you
cross a snowman with a vampire? – So snowmen are made of snow. – Right.
(everyone laughing) – And vampires suck blood,
and they hate garlic. – How do they suck blood? – With their teeth, fangs. – They might do a little
(imitates chomping) you know? – Bite, uh, what’s the question? (everyone laughing) – What do you get when you
cross a snowman with a vampire? – Melting? (laughing) Uh, this is all I have in my
brain, Stevie, I’m so sorry. – Sorry Stevie, it’s literally crickets. It’s frostbite.
– Oh shoot, yeah, alright. You shoulda said something
about the movies. – I told you one of the words. (both laughing) But you’re right, I should
do Jack Frost next time. – We have to give each other hints. I think that’s how this game has to go. – We’re gonna get there. – Clearly we’re dumb. (both laughing) Okay, did you hear about
the kidnapping at school? – No, I didn’t. – It’s fine, he woke up. – Was I supposed to figure that out? – Yeah I didn’t, here’s the
thing, I didn’t get it either. As I was reading it, even if I read the answer, I was like what? (everyone laughing) – Is that what, what happened? Was this on the news? What do you call a man with a rubber toe? (everyone laughing) – (laughing) what, why’s everybody laughing that joke hasn’t even? – It’s a great joke. – What do you call a
man with a rubber toe? – Yeah, just kinda try to
combine those two words. (everyone laughing) – I don’t…
– Roberto. – Oh gosh, okay, I was just like, okay, toe rubber, that sounds bad. (laughing) – There’s a Wikipedia for that. – Okay, okay, okay, why can’t you have a nose that’s 12 inches long? – ‘Cause you’re not Pinocchio, bro. (everyone laughing) Disney movies ain’t real, bro. – We’re gonna be terrible parents. – I’m just literal, man, I’m
gonna be a literal father. – Yeah, I don’t do puns, okay, here it is, because then it would be a foot. – Okay, alright, yeah that
makes sense, that makes sense. I wouldn’t’ve figured that out. – That was literal but also…
– Funny. – Yeah, I guess? – Okay here we go, here we go, you got this one, you’ve heard this one. – Alright I’m ready, I’m ready. – What’s brown and sticky?
– Oh a stick. – You got it, she got it. – First one.
– You got it. That hurt.
– Ow. Yikes, okay, okay, okay,
this is the last one for you. Why do crabs never give to charities? – Why do crabs never give to charities? – Mm hm, do you want
me to give you a hint? – Yes, please, always. – Think about what a crab is, like some people are allergic to this. – It’s a little soft shell, little uh. – No it’s like…
– People can’t eat shells. They can’t eat shellfish,
they’re allergic to shellfish. What’s the joke again,
what’s the question? – Why do crabs never give to charities, and people who are mean and blank. – They’re shellfish.
– Yeah, good. – They’re shellfish.
(applause) Things are lookin’ good, kids. Alright, final one.
– I’m ready. – Why can’t you eat Wookie meat? – This is a Star Wars joke. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. – Well, I’m not gonna get it. – Oh come on, you know basic Wookie. What was that, can I hear that again? (imitating Wookie yelling) – Chewbacca.
– He’s here, that’s close. – ‘Cause you can’t Chewbacca? – Close, why can’t you
eat Wookie meat, because? – Because you can’t Chewbacca. – ‘Cause it’s too Chewy. – Oh, okay, okay.
– It’s too Chewy. – I was thinkin,’ I was
like what’s Chewbacca? – Alright, whatever.
– Oh gosh. – [Rhett] You know what
else is always open? Our Amazon store where
you can get GMM logo tee’s in different colors, they come
in men, women, and kid sizes. Go to

100 thoughts on “Ultimate Dad Jokes Game

  1. Okay, so I thought the crab joke would've been, "Because they're penny pinchers."

    Love the dad jokes guys, keep 'em comin'!

  2. Dangit I already know I’m gonna be a dad who does nothing but puns… I literally got every single one right

  3. yes yes john and jen!!! sometimes when i'm down i binge their videos on this is mythical. so much better then therapy.

  4. I've actually made a variation of that impasta joke before and I couldn't even think fo the punch line lol

    As I continue watching I made a video with the mugged joke too!

  5. Did you hear about the dog that got his feet chopped off in an accident and had to have prosthetics? The owners eventually got rid of him because they were annoyed by his faux paws.

  6. "Why do crabs never give to charity?"
    "Because they are shellfish"
    They know that crabs are crustaceans, right…

  7. I thought the answer to the crabs one would be, "because they're penny pinchers". Get it? Pinchers? Anyone else?

  8. I could watch John and Jen ALL THE TIME!!!
    They need their own segment or their show on This is Mythical back!

  9. i just came over from the insane theories video and I HAVE A THEORY! Jen is the alternate universe female Rhett that accidently came to this universe threw science reasons! and since she arrived and found Rhett and Link they've felt guilty she's left here and gave her a job on our GMM

  10. The Dad jokes will come when you are a dad….especially the puns. That area of the brain isn't unlocked until you hold your first child.

  11. I always notice Jon stopping the wheel on gifticality when he has the chance. You can see his hand going up lmao
    its so pure

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