Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Vanka. Russian Movie. StarMedia. Comedy. Melodrama. English Subtitles


STAR MEDIA presents Maria Bortnik Maksim Saprykin Anton Batyrev Aleksandra Nazarova In VANKA Based on a novel by Olga Stepnova Written by Dmitry Stepnov & Olga Stepnova Directed by Viacheslav Lavrov Director of photography: Andrey Lebediansky Production designer: Vadim Afanasyev Music by Anatoly Zubkov Executive producer: Filip Bruskikin Dashie, hi. DOMASNY channel producer: Yelena Teplova Do you remember what I asked you for? Ah, yes. Not this… Producer: Darya Lavrova Ah, yes. Here. Dashie, thank you so much! Are you sure you don’t need it now? General producers: Natalya Korotkova,
Nabalya Bilan, Vlad Ryashin I am. Well, I was saving for… well,
it doesn’t matter… Take it. Dashie, you’re friend indeed!
What would I do without you? You cannot even imagine:
it’s the purse of my dream! And there’s a 50% discount for it! Then you must take it for sure! Agree! I will surely repay you after
I get the salary. I promise. Kisses. Dashie! Have a good holiday! Oh, guys, thank you… you shouldn’t… Yes, we should! How will we
cope without you here? Well, the chief said he would
provide another proofreader… Dashie, no one will ever replace you. But you relax and forget about everything! Thank you, guys! Come to the
meeting room in half an hour. I’ll serve a table there… A dietary one? Very dietary… All right, we are off. See you. Masha, I’m having a vacation at last…
I’ll be free for four weeks! No rush when coming to the office
in the morning, and no jolting in the bus on the way back home in the evenings.
It’s splendid, isn’t it? It is. You’ll going to stay home for days,
reading detective stories and eating buns, aren’t you? Plenty of buns and plenty of patties.
And lots of detective stories! What about going to the gym with me, eh? What for? A stout body will
never be slim and vice versa. And the gym has nothing to do with it. A brilliant position. Look,
were your parents stout? Nope. Even my cat is slim. You answered all your questions. Dasha,
you just need to eat less. Dasha… Dasha, want me to deal with your shape? No, Masha, it even sounds horrible. There’s nothing horrible in it. We just check
your health… your blood sugar… whatever… We’ll find a good endocrinologist
for you, or a good coach… Or buy a good dress for you at least. Can you really dress like a homeless
victim of a fire all the time? You were saving money for it, weren’t you? Oh, Masha, what are you talking about?
It’s so… so beautiful. And me? Moreover, I don’t have money now —
I’ve borrowed a sum… In short, I’m off to have rest.
I need to go. See you. I’ll deal with you anyway. Hi. Hi. What is it you wish? Eh… a Berliner, three éclairs… Excellent choice. … and half a kilo of… cream puffs.
I’ve got a holiday, after all. All right. Is this all? Do you have anything else? Ma’am… Hi. Hi. Will you let me pass? What? I say, will you let me pass? Ah, yes, of course… – Thank you. — Ouch! What a day! Do you realize
what you have done? I do. I’m so sorry… There’s a dry cleaner’s round the
corner near here, so I can show you… You’d better show yourself some… gym. To improve your coordination
of movements and… your shape in general… No, thank you. Ah, Dashie, good afternoon. Have you already seen him? Good afternoon, Marya Sergeyevna.
Seen whom? Our new neighbor. He moved in the flat 37. Alone, no wife. Tall and handsome…! Ah, I wish I were 28 now… Oh, I am 28 now, and what’s the use? No, I haven’t seen him, Marya Sergeyevna.
Want some tea? I’ve got some pastry. No, thank you, Dashie. Some other time.
I’ve got a fasting day today. Again? Well… a woman should take
care of her shape… See you. Well… “Sports tomorrow 9.00” Speed up! Masha! I can’t! To hell with these loads! Masha! Five more minutes. Then we go
to exercise the legs. The legs?! Dasha? Are you all right? Is there a doctor here? All of my body aches…Masha, I don’t want to
lose weight anymore. I want nothing more! Here, have some water! Wanna get married? I do. But somehow without a gym. No, you can’t do without the gym. What is a modern man? Exactly.
He’s hard-to-please and capricious. That’s why no excess kilo or you
will never put on a wedding dress. Won’t I? You’ve been exhausting yourself
for years, yet you still aren’t married. Got an excess kilo hiding somewhere? Well, let’s say, I’m not ready
for marriage now. Psychologically. Well, it’s not about me now… By the way,
know what I’ve prepared? A food list. This is what you may eat
for breakfast and dinner. Do you want me dead? No, I don’t. You said you a new neighbor
moved in your block, haven’t you? Tall, handsome, charming and attractive —
a real dream… So you need to conform. Conform to what? To the dream. Or he’ll slip away. Yes, conform. He will never look in my direction no
matter how hard I will try to lose weight. Hi, sis! Alka? You seem to be in Canada
in search of job, are you not? What Canada? What job? I’m
in search of happiness now, not job. Come on, take off your jacket. – Ugh! — I see… Oh, Vanka has grown so much! How old is he? Eight. Or nine? Do you remember when
Gokokhov went to prison? You mean the one with moustache? No. The one with a scar on his forehead. Alla, I don’t. How can one remember
all of your boyfriends? Damn, I was as though in a daze then. I
don’t even remember how I delivered Vanka, how I discharged from the hospital
and how his gaffer Gorokhov made off… Vania, honey, how old are you? Eight and a half. Here. See how smart the boy is? Good boy. Yeah, he’s a good boy. A very nice one. Sis, I’ve come on a business. I need to go to Sochi resort
and arrange my private life… All oligarchs are making money there now. Please, do me a favor: take Vanka
to live with you for a while, will you? Meaning? For how long? A couple of weeks. Or a months.
I’m not sure. We’ll see. Eh… Well, I… I’m on holiday now. All right, I will. We’ll get on,
Vanka, won’t we? Just let him try not! Dashie! You’re a great sister! Vanka’s
stuff’s in the bag. All right… I should be off. Son,
mind and behave! Got it? Aha. Dashie, I need to go, don’t see me off. Hi, Vania. Ugh… I don’t want borsch! I don’t want meat
dumplings, I don’t want beetroot salad! Why? I don’t like them. You don’t? And what is it you like? Seafood pizza. Ah… Well, buddy, excuse me. I don’t have either pizza or seafood.
Will you eat borsch? I won’t. Then leave the table. All right. Fie… ugh… Have you ordered pizza? What pizza? Seafood, a medium one on a thin
bread layer. Is this your order? Yes, it’s ours. Thank you. It’s 750 roubles. How much? 750. Ah… wait. I’m not sure whether I have… enough money. Thank you. Good bye. Listen, let’s make a… deal… Damn Vanka… he’s drawn drawings
all over the walls… I’ll show you… Vanka! I’ll kill you! What is it with you? Don’t play innocent! Come here! Come here! I say, stop now! You!.. Little maggot… Catch it! Ah…! Vanka, you’re swine! YOU are swine! Fat swine! Just come here! You’ll catch it for “fat”! What on earth is this! I’ll show you! Eat! I won’t eat borsch! I won’t eat potatoes! Why? It’s vile! Nothing but fats! What is it you will eat? A vegetable salad, fish. Tuna fish,
for instance, will do. Well… Are them being brought here? Aha. Look here! There’s food in the fridge.
You will eat what we have! You’re fat one! You little maggot! Just come here! I’m no fat; I’m stout! Got that? Oh, come on! Catch up with me first!
Stout one! Plop! I will! Ouch! Here. Where are you? Do catch up with me! Hallo… Yep, Masha. I’m okay. What training? “Loosing Wait to Music?”
Nonsense! All right. Deal. Aha. Yes.
Yes. See you. Bye. Well… I wouldn’t do that. Damn, Vanka… real parasite, eh…?
– Stas? – I’ll show him… Ma’am, let me throw my garbage away and…
Hi. No flicks please. A brilliant choice; it’s a very good
mayonnaise. Have a good day. Bye. It’s not what you might
think of, it’s… I… damn… You parasite! Why did you
throw the food away? The fridge was stuffed up with food… That was no food… that was… whatsit…
chare… chali… cholesterol! Such a smart aleck! Yes, I am. My mom told you I was smart,
didn’t she? And I’m discriminating. I will never eat your meat dumplings and mayonnaise,
potatoes and cheese or loafs and butter! What are you going to eat,
discriminating one? A normal food. Some salad.
Meat. Kefir. Apples. And you don’t have even
a cucumber in your fridge! What, Dashie? What’s up?! Has something happened?! What up? A hand… there’s a cut off hand in my bed!! O my God! Heavens,
the things that can happen! Where? Where is it? Can I take a look? And me! Whose hand is it? Well, it’s a male hand… to all
appearances, it’s been amputated… How amputated?! Posthumously. How did it get in here? Well. There’s an easy way to find it out… Off with you! It’s quite beyond jokes! One might have a heart attack from this!
Off with you. Vanka, I’ll kill you! No need to. Your son has a brilliant sense of humor. Aha, brilliant… Only, he’s my nephew.
Where did he take this vile thing? They are sold in every stationery shop. And… What for? What for…? To scare ladies, for instance… I should have guessed… Thank you. But it’s late now, you know… Ah, yes. Of course. Good bye. Wait! Wait. Wait please… Here. Keep this. Why should I keep this? Well… You have a girlfriend, don’t you?
So, you’ll scare her. For fun. Take this. Thanks. You’re lying on the sand
beach near the sea… the waves beat against the shore… And now you are one of them!
Strong, springy, young wave! Excuse me, what does the “young wave” mean? Your essence comes out
to the shore and… you melt… Your body is slender, and physically light! Dasha? Who’s snoring? Dasha, wake up! You’re a body!
A physically light body! I have a feeling that your friend
doesn’t wish to lose weight. She does. Say you do. I do. What were you talking about the sea? We go on! You’re lying on the sand,
your body is relaxed. A young and springy wave… Hey, lad! Step away from the car! Now! Do you really care?! Just stop behaving like a hooligan! You’ve
made a real mess… You’re a terrorist! Baa! Get away! Get out of here! Hold! Not so fast, buddy! — Ouch!
It hurts! — Get this! — Cheese it! My mom’s fallen ill… Got not
enough money for surgery… Help us please! Poor thing! Where’s your mom?
What is it with her? She’s in the hospital for a month now…
The doctors say she’s got cancer. And the surgery costs pretty money… And where’s your dad? Are you here alone? I got no dad. He’s in the prison. O Jesus! Why? He’s robbed a bank
to pay for my mom’s surgery. — It’s awful! — But he failed.
He’s got a 10 year sentence. — O my! — My Mom and I are lonely now… Rabble… – Here, take this. Thank you, ma’am. I immediately
understood you were kind… Hallo? Mashie? Hi. Hi, Dashie. Look, I’ve seen a cool
shop recently. Some new one. It’s called “German-made Stout Clothing”. They give
good discounts to celebrate their opening. Maybe, we should go there, eh?
And pick up some things for you… Of course, that sounds great. But I cannot. I’ve got no one to leave Vanka in care. Look, darling, I wanted
to tell you this long ago. There are special facilities with a specially trained
staff to take care of the boys like Vania… They are called boarding schools. Are you nuts? What boarding school?!
He’s got home to live in… He has, until he smashes it up. Damn! What’s up? What’s the sound mean? A characteristic sound.
It’s called “Farewell to Masha…” Masha! What’s going on?! Darling, if I don’t get in touch
in half an hour, then I got murdered. Know this: I loved you dearly… Hi. Hi. Do you happen to know is there
a boarding school for stupid blondes? I’ll take you there right now! I’m Masha… Vania? Have you got beaten? Nope. I just fell down. Mow many times? I didn’t count. I was falling
again and again. How did you manage to get that dirty, eh? And how did you? What me? You’ve got your robe stained all over. Vania, they don’t wash off…
Let me see your face… Don’t! I’ll live. Vania… I’ve bought kefir for you.
And apples. Have them for now. And I’ll make salad and a chicken
for you in the evening. I’ll have them later. Take off your jacket. Good afternoon! I’m from
Public Guardianship Office. Does Ivan Fiodorov live here? Will you take off your boots? What’s the smell? It’s a solvent. You sniff it or the boy? Me. But don’t worry:
I do this occasionally. Really? Why occasionally? Properly speaking, what’s happened? YOU will tell me what’s happened and why
your boy begs near the metro station. And your boy accepts not only money.
Foodstuff too. Do you keep him on short commons? Go check! Feel free to! And I will! I don’t get it: why does he beg then? He’s going to act in a movie. He’s preparing himself for
his part as an orphan. So, you know he begs near
the metro station, don’t you? Of course I do. You’re lying. All right, the foodstuff in
the refrigerator tells nothing. Step away. Wait, I haven’t checked out there yet… You indeed have sniffed
too much of solvent today. Jesus! What’s that?! I warned you, didn’t I? I’m sorry; the boy has
a good sense of humor. And I have none. So, either you watch over your
cheerful and talented boy, or he will be watched over
by the competent authorities. And they will watch over him closely.
Don’t see me off. Damn! Vanka, what are you doing?
— Catch this! — Why do you beg? ‘Cause they give!
“Good people, please help me! My Dad’s in the prison, Mom’s at the Sochi
resort and aunt keeps me on short commons…” Enough! Come here, turdpants! Just stop you now! All right, Vanka. From now on you’re under home arrest. I can’t let you taken to the orphanage. And what will I do under this home arrest? Draw! What shall I draw? Anything you wish. Just draw. Brother Sergie, Mom, Dad, dog Snoopy. Who’s there? Open up, it’s your neighbor. Where is he? Where is he? Let’s begin with the “good afternoon”! It’s no good at all! Do you know
what your nephew has done? What makes you think he’s
done something bad? Because Marya Sergeyevna
told me she saw him smearing my car’s doorknobs
and thresholds with vaseline. I fell down three times while
was trying to get in the car! He’s got a brilliant sense of humor.
You said this… Are you mocking at me? I’m a dentist.
My patients are waiting for me! All right, we’ll fix that. Go ahead. Vanka! I’ll show you!
Come here now! Come on. Come! Come and see what you have done. Put on your boots. Now. Can you explain why you’re
pestering his car? Because he’s got the coolest
drag in our yard. And it’s only swindlers
who have the wheels like his. Or the… what-d’ye-call-’em… cor…
car… caru… in short: bribers. Ordinary people don’t have such ones. Look, what bullshit you are saying?! I’m a doctor and I own a dental clinic.
Will you leave my car alone now? Nope. Then when will you do that, eh? When you merry Dasha! Then I’ll have
a cool uncle having a cool car! Vanka, what are you talking about? So, it was you who instigated your nephew
to dirty my car to get acquainted with me? Shame on you! I didn’t instigate him! Shame on YOU! You spoil
other people’s property! And are growing up a juvenile gangster! Firstly, he’s no gangster! And secondly:
that may have been you who fouled your own car to flirt with me! Good bye! You booby! I will never get married now. Do you really need him? He’s a real boor. A boor, I agree. But it’s
no reason to dirty his car. All right, we go home. And find some
occupation for you at last. You’ve found an occupation. Good. What are you doing? A bomb. For me? For your Marya Sergeyevna.
She’s idle for days, so she pokes her nose into
other people’s business. And here there’s going to have a good
bang! So, she’ll never poke in ours. Vania… You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Why do you play a singe cat? Want me to enlist you
to a ballroom dancing school? You’d better buy a snowboard. I’m not that reach to buy every thing you wish! Then I’ll buy it. You booby, they can take you
to the orphanage if you beg again. I’ll blow it up too. Vania, you’d better stop that, eh? Wait, wait. Off with it! Cutie, wait! Hallo? Hallo, Mashie? Hi. — Hi. Your dream’s coming true —
I’m loosing weight. Yep, my stuff is too large for me now. — Is it sports? — Nope. It’s Vanka.
I’ve been chasing after him for days. Look, Mashie, can you lend me some money? For clobber? No, not for clobber… What for? A snowboard. What? Are you nuts? What does she want, eh? A snowboard. How many? One. For a little hooligan. Or she says
he’ll blow up her neighbor. All right, let him wait with blowing up the neighbor.
And as for the board — no problem. Let’s help the little hooligan…
of course, if he’s a right man. I see. Dashie, look here. It’s no
problem with the snowboard. And as for the neighbor — let him wait.
Got it? Right, bye. Oh, hi! Hi. Set up your mind for sports? Do I really look like the
one in for sports? Actually, yes. By the way, your nephew
has ceased dirtying my car with stuffs. He’s busy now. Preparing an explosion. Really? I thought he’d found a husband for
you and now preparing a surprise for him. Of course! Can I really have any husband? I’m a fat gal with bad coordination
of movements raising a hooligan nephew able to ruin everything around only,
am I? You’re kidding? I didn’t mean that… Want we have a jog
together tomorrow morning? I’m having exercises round the clock. What? Like it? Will do. Where are you going? To snowboard. And where are you going to snowboard? Don’t worry, I’ll find a spot to. Of course you will… Be careful, will you? – And don’t be there for too long.
– Hem, I’m not sure. Wait, don’t go… Why? Other women are calling
you all the time…! Hi. Hi. Have you seen my Vanka? No, I haven’t. He left in the morning and is still off. Look, if you hear the wail of sirens, go to the
sound. He’s sure to be somewhere around. We apologized for you car didn’t we?
Why are you so rude? Excuse me. I just had a hard day today. What’s up? Well… I’ve just broken
off with my girlfriend. It’s so easy to offend a woman. Nobody offended her! It was she
who took offence and made a scene. Ah, of course… she took offence… And you was
just standing near and keeping mum. I see. Know what, I have nothing
to do with it. I didn’t offend her. We’ve been dating for half a year.
Half a year! And she’s already made my ears ring with talks about the wedding,
wedding rings, wedding dresses, about children needing to live
in the countryside on the fresh air. That is, her fault is wishing to get married
to a man she loves and having children? Personally I think it’s so great when the man you
love with you. A man who understands you. And to know you’re not alone in this world… Are you talking of her? The wedding rings and dresses are the only
things on her mind. Are you talking of her? She’s YOUR girlfriend,
so YOU deal with her! Isn’t she? Dasha, wait! Dasha! Wait? Why are you leaving?
Let’s now discuss your girlfriend… Just stop playing clown, will you? All right, let’s discuss your boyfriend.
You have one, don’t you? How… how… How dare you! Where have you been?
I hate staying home alone! And how long have you been
staying home alone? Half an hour now. First she did a makeup,
then stared through the window for a while and then left for somewhere.
And she did all this to catch your eye. She even forgot co lock the door
and take the kettle off the stove. I see now… Vanka, go home! Now! Baa! Baa! A family indeed… Vania… Vania, what’s happened? I was run over by a sledge.
No one can sledge properly. And what about you? Are you all right? No, I am not. Do you… have an ache? Are you hurt? I have aches and pains all over. I will
recover if you buy a laptop for me. What??? A laptop?! Maybe we’d better
buy a car for you right away, eh? No, I’m too young to drive a car.
We’ll take it next year. Yep… a real psycho… It’s high time
to marry her off. Sure. Here. Lena asked me to give you this
coupled with many thanks. And also this. Oh, come on. There’s nothing
out of the ordinary in it. Look, you cannot imagine what
a gorgeous purse she’s bought. The entire office is mad about it now. You’ll see when you come back after
your holiday. It’s fantastic! I take it on trust. And when are we going to spend YOUR money? It’s high time to refresh
your wardrobe, isn’t it? Just look how prettier you’ve grown!
You’ve lost weight! Mashie, some other time.
I need to buy a laptop… Why? You’ve got a computer
at work, don’t you? That’s not for me… Vanka asks
to buy it for him… Won’t it be too much for him? Please, don’t say so. I’ve got nobody else in the world,
so I cannot refuse him. I see. I’m sorry. And how’s your neighbor…
the handsome one upstairs? Ah…don’t ask me. Every time we meet
we end up in a quarrel. I… I don’t understand what’s going on with me. I do. It’s love, Dashie! Let’s go to buy the dress for you!
Forget about the laptop. You’ll see, I… I’ll see nothing! Just drop it! Honey, why don’t you eat? Not tasty? I don’t feel like eating. You should. You’re so slim
that it hurts me to see! Want me to cook fish? Nope… Masha, is something up? I cannot reach my friend. So what? What? I’m worrying about her.
She’s depressed. So, she needs to be given a fur coat. A fur coat? Why? Why? When a pie… a lady is depressed, she needs to
be given a fur coat. It very helpful! I don’t know. Nobody has
given me a fur coat yet. I will. To both your
friend and you. Just eat. Have meat. I’ve cooked it well-done.
It’s tasty. All right. Wait! Hi. What do you want? Nothing special… I just wanted
to invite you to the theater. Theater? Invite me? Well, I just have two tickets…
I booked them a week before… Ah, I see. You mean you wanted to go to the theater with
your girlfriend, and now one ticket is going to be wasted, right? It’s going to. Yep. Then go to the theater
with your girlfriend. Well, I say… Dasha, wait! Dasha… Don’t you think our acquaintance
started ill? We didn’t start anything at all. Dasha, let us… Why to we talk
like teenagers all the time? Let’s go to the theater.
Maybe, I like you… I cannot! Why? Because… Because Vanka
is going to stay home alone! Dasha… He’s going to stay not alone,
but with a good friend. Not likely. I’m afraid he’ll blow
up Marya Sergeyevna along with staying with a good friend.
He promised to. Dasha… eh… Let’s take him with us. Are you feed up with living? No way. Well, I say… I agree… Eh… He left… A computer! For me! Hurrah!!! You could say “thanks” at least. Oh, there’s a CD
with the software on it too! And the Internet?!
Did you plug into the internet? I did… Just stop you worrying! A dentist, I say! Know what a cool car parks
in the neighboring yard? A sports one, a coupe!
Want me to introduce you? Nope, I don’t. I like jeeps better… Then you need to do a makeup and a hairdo
and buy some decent things at the least. In short — to tidy up yourself. You’re a piece of expert
in what I need indeed! Yeah, take a good care of yourself. Vania? Hear me? Eat something… One cannot spend so much time
at the computer! You’ll ruin your eyes. But there are no more trip-wire mines,
frogs or mice now. Hear me? Vania! I’ll take away
the computer from you! Hallo? Masha? Masha, are you crying? Who abandoned you?! What Cutie? Masha, calm down now. Don’t
do silly things! I’m on my way! Eh… Vania, I’ll be off for a couple of
hours. Don’t open the door to anybody. I hope you understood me. I do. I do. What are you…! Dashie! Dasha, thank you for coming! What’s up? Someone’s sure to have died if you
developed allergy by eating ascorbic pills. He’s abandoned me. He hasn’t
called me for three days. Ah… your Cutie… Then just call him. I can’t call him ’cause we haven’t
exchanged our phone numbers. We were together since we met until
he got jealous of my interest in Clooney. Who? Well, we were watching the TV and
I said that Clooney is a man of my dream. He rose packed up and
left without saying a word. I was staying at his home for three
days after, but he didn’t come back. Then her wife came and drove me away! What shall I do? Why doesn’t he call me?
Dasha, why?! Listen to me. He doesn’t call you because
he doesn’t know your phone number. You told this, didn’t you? – Right. Exactly! — Quiet. — So… so, we’ll meet never again?! – Dasha…! Dasha!
– Just calm down. Look, have you ever
had such great love that… you might die without him?! I haven’t. I understood it long ago that
I will never have my love returned. So, I’ve reconciled with the situation. Come on! I think you should
just somehow get a grip. Change something in your live.
A hairdo, or to buy a new dress … It won’t help. My dress’s been
already bought by someone… I go home now. I have to feed Vanka.
Bye. See you. Dasha! You will buy another dress! Now I see who’s bought my dress… You ate nothing… Vania… I want internet! Vania, the computer is meant
not only for internet surfing. I want Internet! I’m playing an online game.
And my harvest is going to be lost now. Vanie, you’d better go out and have a walk. I don’t want a walk. I want internet. You can’t spend so much time
at the computer. You can ruin your eyes! They are my eyes, so I can do with
them whatever I wish! I want internet! It’s all right; you’ll do
without the internet! I won’t! I want internet! You care about what you wish only!
Have you ever wondered what I wish? I’ve bought a laptop for you
and you didn’t even thank me. And I, by the way, wanted
to buy a very beautiful dress! I had been saving money
for it for half a year!! And you don’t care a fig about what
I wish! No one cares a fig about me!!! Good evening, Dasha. Good evening. Excuse me;
I’m in a big hurry. Wait please! Your bummer
broke eggs against my car again. Did he? When? When did you see him? We were lucky to miss each other.
What’s up? He’s gone… How “gone”? When? This afternoon. He might be somewhere out, playing. Playing? It’s night now! It’s as if all are
in collusion — the police say the same thing. Want we search for him on my car together? You have nothing to do with it.
It’s my fault… I shouted at him today. He left home
and will never come back… Dasha… Hi. Here’s your runaway. Vanka! Vanie! Where have you been?
Are you okay? Know where I found him?
At the Three Railway Stations. He was begging in an underpass with this. MY MOM ABANDAND ME, DAD IN PRIZN PLIZ
HELP ME & MAI BRATHER SERZHI FOR FOOD And did people give money to him? They did! And lots! He… Your underachiever was
of a success with the people. YOU are an underachiever! Just look at him! He’s so touchy! Who dirtied my car with eggs?
Beware, or I’ll show you! Wait a minute, you won’t show him
anything. Who are you to punish him? And you say this instead of “thank you”? I’ll make your jeepie so nice at right, that you won’t recognize it in the morning! Know what I’ll do? I’ll marry you aunt
to give you a good spank! Got it?! What makes you think I’ll ever marry
to a man who beats children? I… I never beat children… I just said that… You’ll talk like that with the nephew
of your girlfriend. Enough! Good bye. Thank you! And you can keep the table;
you might need it some day. Shall I paint his car? Vanka, no! Don’t do that. Don’t do that, got it? Take off your boots. I’ll have to do it all on my own. It’s dyed… It was my white bed sheet. He’s spoiled all of my things! Vanka!!! I’ll kill you! Stinker! You’ve spoiled all of my things!!! What else do you want? Dad, mom, brother and sister. Vania, no money would buy it… Really? And a dog? Will
you buy a dog for me? What dog? We’re barking
at each other without it all the time. This robe is the last
of my things that remained. Oh, thanks for reminding.
I’ll burn it down at night. What??? It’s terrible. I’ve been
telling you for long: you should make a hairdo and
buy some new clothes for you if you want to get the jeep guy. Such a smart aleck you are! I spent
all of my money for your laptop. What? Just gather it
before the shops close. Vania, did you been beg again? Just once. You need clothes, don’t you? If wearing smocks you do, you’ll never
get married to a truck guy, not to mention the jeep one.
Come, gather it. BEAUTY SALON Do you know how we got this hooligan? I think he’s Dasha’s natural child. Hi. Hi. Oh, Dashie! One wouldn’t know you!
Such a beauty you are! Look, it’s high tome for you
to go to some resort abroad. All marriageable men there will be yours. Thank you, Marya Sergeyevna. No;
I’ll stay here… I will do with local ones. You’re right, Dasha! Moreover, they won’t
let you go abroad together with Vanka! Why? ‘Cause what will remain
from the abroad after Vanka’s visit? A small Aphrennine Peninsula only. It’s “Apennine”. But I’m afraid it’s
going be lost too. Now let me help you with your packs. Though, I’m no more marriageable,
but it’s still a pleasure to do that! Well, I’m going with you. No’ I am not. I’m going to the shop.
I forget I was going go it. You go. Help! Why are you pealing?! Help! My Vanka’s fallen ill! How badly? I’m a dentist, not a physician. But you’re still a doctor. All right, we go now. Here. He was immovable when I came home.
And he has a fever. His temperature is… Calm down… So, soldier, got ill, haven’t you? How did you manage?
Will you let me look at your throat? Nope. Nope? I see. Have you
measured his temperature? I cannot. He’s bites me. So, you bite, don’t you?
And the temperature are not measured. Vania, your temperature
needs to be measured. Look, Vania… Damn! He bites indeed. Doctor, what is it with him? To all appearances, he’s rabid if he bites. Joking again? Not this time. He seems to have quinsy.
But I still need to see his throat. Vania! Dasha, fetch me the first-aid kit please.
I need to see what you have. I’ll be right back. So, Vania, will you let me
look at your throat? I won’t. Well, we’ll treat you blind in this case. I’ll bite you again. Ah, come on! I’got bitten every day.
I’m a dentist. Thank you. Here’s the kit. So… We don’t need this. Ah, here! Just try me! Stay calm. What a “nice” child! I know that. Well, his throat is bad;
he needs treatment. You’ve got nothing suitable.
I’m going to the pharmacy now, and you make hot tea for him meanwhile. Aha. Vania? Vania, will you drink tea?
Vania… It’s us! It’s us! Dashie, I hear Vanka’s fallen ill. So, I’d like to say there is no better cure for cold than raspberry jam. Here, take it. Thank you. The key is to keep his legs warm. Here.
My sister sent them to me. Take them. ‘Cause it’s become boring without
Vanka’s pranks. Like in the grave. Oh, come on! Off with you! All right, we go. And you give
treatment to Vanka. Thank you. Mom… Vanie, it’s me. Your mom
is in Sochi. Vania… Dasha, your door was open. How’s he? Badly. His temperature is 39. It’s all right. It’s a crisis. I say it as the best dentist in the city.
Here is the foodstuff. You need to eat. I’m not hungry. I don’t ask you whether you
are hungry or not. You need to eat. If you don’t eat yourself,
I’ll feed you intravenously. You don’t have any right to. You’re even
not a boyfriend of mine. Oh, come on! I’m more than a boyfriend.
I’m your neighbor. Where does he sleep? In the bedroom. I’ll show you, sir. Dasha, it’s high time we
were on familiar terms. Our mom died 3 years ago. So, Alka
and Vanka are the only family I have. A sad story. Look, Dasha, you… have you let your sister know
of Vanka being ill? I called her, but couldn’t reach. Probably, she’s having good
a time with the “catch”, so she doesn’t care for Vanka now. She’s a mother, isn’t she? And her duty… No one has any duty towards anyone. One cannot force a person love.
Even his own son. What are you doing?! You… you have a girlfriend, don’t you? We’ve broken off, as far as you remember. No. You lie. I’ve seen her
visit you the other day. You’d have seen her depart if you had
waited for another 10 minutes. But I don’t know your name. Ask me and I’ll tell you. You think so? What if you’re Nikodim? You mean I have a nil chance
if I were Nikodim? Yep. Sergey, Dmitry, Andrey, Gleb and
Vladimir are the only ones to have chance. I see. Where are these guys? I say, where are these guys?
I’ll kill them immediately now. Don’t say anything; I know. I’ll go to kill them and you make a coffee
with cinnamon for me meanwhile. You’re boor indeed… In short, he’s all right. His temperature is 36.9, so,
let’s consider it to be normal. Vanka also told me he’d be having his
revenge on me for the rest of his life. He’d paint my car all over,
drop piles of eggs on it… and so on. Is something wrong? Is it okay? I had no cinnamon, so I put horseradish in. Look, Dasha, you know… You think it’s funny? Many thanks for your hospitality. The coffee was really splendid. Aha. I did my best. That’s it. Be alive, kicking and happy. Jesus…! He’s sure to have recovered. It’s good I was home, or your nephew
would have burnt down my apartment. I’m sorry. You should be. It’s all right;
I’ve got used to it. I think five times every day
of a soonest move to another flat … Yes? Hallo? Yes. Regards
to your nephew. Good bye. Please, understand me, he’s a
good boy; it’s just he’s an orphan. He has do father; his mother is
in Sochi now and aunt is a fool. All right. I put that down: “Aunt is fool”. Please, forgive us! I’m begging you.
He meant nothing evil. He just… He just set your neighbor’s door on fire. What if he sets on fire your own flat
tomorrow? What are you going to do then? All right. Where did he take matches? How should I know? You should. He will commit arsons, and we will have
to put the fire down? Are you saying this? But we’ve did it on our own. For now. You know, I must report
to the Guardianship Office. Please, don’t! Please! He’d be taken away
to the orphanage then! I’m begging…! Dashie? What’s up? Dashie!
Why are you crying? They want to take Vanka to the orphanage! Who’ he? How dare you taking the boy from his
own aunt?! By what authority?! Excuse me, but I’ve got
a record of evidence. I must. What next will they take into their
heads?! What record?! The boy is only… Dashie, how old is Vanka? Eight and a half… Here! He’s eight years old only.
Yes, he set fire accidentally. Eh… Didn’t you set fire
to things when you were a child? No, I didn’t. Really? He did. He did… and to lots of things. Fiodor Mikhaylovich? How did
you happen to be here? It’s me Potapov; yeah, it’s me.
I live here. That’s the thing. I used to teach this booby at school. He’s going to take Vanka to the orphanage
for the arson he did. What?! Potapov, who burnt down the toilet
when he was in the 7th grade? Remember? So, Potapov, we will not give Vanka away.
— No, we won’t. – Do you understand? But I have the record of evidence. I must
respond… Don’t you understand this? Listen to me, Potapov. You have already
responded by visiting and checking. You have. Now that’s it. Dismissed. Dashie, enough crying. Go home now,
or you may catch cold. Yep, Dashie, you’d better go home… I feel like drink so much… What breed is he? Baykal Baskerville How much? Cheap. A bottle of vodka, a pack of tea,
two loafs of white bread and, I’m sorry to say, a Doctor’s sausage. Just stay here, please, will you?
I’ll be back right in a minute. — Aye. — I’ll be right back. Here. I seem to be lucky today. Here, take this. Here you are. Be careful with it.
Now it’s yours. Right. We go home — it’s cold here. Come. A puppy! It’s my puppy! Careful! He needs a wash. What breed is he? Baykal Baskerville What’s his name? I don’t know. It’s your puppy,
so go figure out a name for him. Jack! You will be Jack. Where is he? Don’t you worry that much. He’s at work,
treating patients’ teeth. At work? What work? It’s nighttime now. Teeth need to be treated at any time.
They ache at nighttime even worse. You shouldn’t have set his door on fire.
He must have taken offense. He seemed not to be touchy. Hurrah! Jack’s got his coat now! I’ve bought Krakow sausage.
Extremely delicious! Were there many people in? Nope… Surprisingly not. Hi. O my God! Who is this? It’s my dog. A Baykal Baskerville.
His name’s Jack. Think of it! As if he’s different. He says
“hi” now and takes the dog for walks…. He’s sure to keep the door from slamming,
say thank you and even play violin soon. Then it’s going to be very
boring here indeed! Exactly! Dashie, hi! Imagine,
my Cutie has come back! I was waiting for him at the spot — the
one where I hit his car –for three days. He, probably, guessed and came back! Wait; and what about his wife? Ex-wife. Well, I’ve driven her away. One
needs to fight for her love, so I did it. Mashie, he’s gone! He had healed Vanka and then gone! Who’s gone? The Dentist! My neighbor. He hasn’t been
home for three days now… Did you go all the way with him? Yes, we did! We gave treatment to Vanka,
put out fire and kissed. Don’t worry, Dashie. I’ll call to Cutie and he’ll get your Dentist no matter
what it takes. Do you know his name? Well, I don’t know his name.
What I know for sure he’s not Sergey or Andrey, or Vladimir,
or Dmitry. And he’s not Nikodim. Well, it’s something.
Do you have his phone number? I don’t. I don’t need to. We are neighbors. We used to spend so much time together… Don’t worry. We’ll find him. I… you know, I’m afraid
I will see him never again. Hi. Dasha… eh… Will you marry me? Are you not afraid I will say “yes”? It’s my dream. Or your nephew will ultimately kill me. By the way, my name is Stas. Nice to meet you, Stas… I told he’s not touchy, didn’t I?
He’s here like a lamb, to see you and ask
you to marry him on top of it. You’d better tell me why you
have spoiled my car again? Me? Why should I? I’ve got a puppy now. Then who painted my lights green? Who stuck butterflies on my number plates? Me? Butterflies? Am I a little girl to do that? Wait. That was not me! That was him. Of course! I see now.
You’re the same gang, aren’t you? I had only to leave
for several days for you to… And where have you been these several days? I visited my mom at her country house. My mom is very good. She’s a
Russian Federation’s Teacher Emeritus. How’s puppy’s name? Jack. He’s good. So, Jack, we’ll live
happily hereafter, won’t we? Hallo? Alla? It’s Mom?! Yes, I… Yes, I see. She disconnected. When will she come? She told in a year… Vanie, she’ll come back in a year.
She told she would. She will never come back… I know… Look, Vania, eh… We go to the seashore this summer
and visit your mom in Sochi. Have you ever been to the seaside? I haven’t… You promise we will? I do. Hurrah!!! Hurrah! Hurrah! Jesus! What’s going on here all the time?
— I’ll show you…! Here, take him. And go feed him. Come. I’ll give you food. Dasha, I saw you paining butterflies
on my car this night. Forgive me, please. It’s Vanka’s influence. Yep, he influences everyone around. We need to decide with a school for Vanka…
And put him in some study circle. We will. No problem. And, most probably, we need
to contact the Guardianship office. Why? Your sister is coming back in a year. Stas, she will not. She doesn’t need Vanka. She was dreaming all the time
to get rid of him. Then we’ll formalize
the guardianship of him. Or — which is even better
— we’ll adopt him. At least I will strap him legitimately
in that case… I’m kidding. I warn you: I don’t want
any ballroom dancing. You will attend the circle
I’ll tell you to. Got that? All right. You can boss here
all around once you marry Dasha.

44 thoughts on “Vanka. Russian Movie. StarMedia. Comedy. Melodrama. English Subtitles

  1. i love russia and every thing like language culture but not like this sitty boy.,.,, but he is so funny isn't he

  2. enjoyed the movie..loved the resolution of the picture…thank u for brushing up my russian..i was there around a decade back…spaciba from India

  3. Okay…. So a random stranger… don't know his name… and help a little bit for this girl…. and asked the girl to marry him, and she said okay…. What is going on? hahahahhahah I wish I can just ask a girl "hey I don't know you're name, but will you be my girlfriend?" and She will say "yes". A dream come true hahahhaha

  4. Nice word from the old lady a woman should take care of her shape to be sincere is not good for a woman to be too fat it makes you look shapeless and less smart and you will hardly look beautiful in dresses and a lot of men doesn't like fat ladies if a guy have fantasy or desire to carry his beloved lady up in his arms he won't be able to carry her because she is too fat and there is a kind of fun play a guy might want or like to play with the lady he loves in sweeming pool or in the beach he can't because she is too fat ladies should go to gym and eat less fatty foods and eat a lot of fruit and vegetable and fish to keep them fit and fresh

  5. what a nice neighbor so kind of them to care for the little boy tha is how neighbors should care for one other some neighbors doesn't care about what is happening to their co neighbors

  6. wonderful ladies are always crying for guys what an interesting emotion the feeling of love is a real wonderful thing for ladies

  7. your Chang of clothes and hair style make you look beautiful and you got the guy you love and also with the help of your funny nephew nice drama

  8. How lonely was Sasha but now…. Russian society has its own plus and minus points as every society. Most of the Russian Directors depict the movies as the real lives and real life is not a bed of roses.

  9. Loved this movie. Russian movies are my favourite at the moment. I'm so OVER Hollywood! Wonderful content here and excellent technically too. Thank you!

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