Laughter is the Best Medicine

Warren and Trump’s Dueling Campaign Rallies | The Daily Show

So, let’s start
with Elizabeth Warren, Massachusetts senator
and mom who knows all the two-letter words
in Scrabble. -(applause)
-Over the past few months, her rally crowds
have been growing steadily, and last night, she brought
her show to New York. So, overnight,
Senator Elizabeth Warren drawing one of her biggest crowds
of her campaign today. Thousands filled New York’s
Washington Square Park last night to hear her speak. NEWSWOMAN:
Thematically, the speech was all about anti-corruption, Warren hitting President Trump as being corruption
in the flesh. No one is above the law, not even
the United States president. Impeachment is
our constitutional duty. After that enormous event
in New York City, Warren spent almost four hours taking selfies with supporters. That’s right. After her speech, Elizabeth Warren
spent four hours taking selfies
with her supporters. It took three hours
to get through most of the crowd and then an extra hour
for that one annoying person who’s never satisfied. Just like,
“Oh, no, wait, I look weird. “I look weird.
Let’s do it again. “Okay, let’s try portrait mode.
Okay, okay. “Now one with funny faces. Ah! “Wait, wait.
Oh, my memory’s full. “Hold on,
let me delete a podcast. Hold on, hold on.” Now, one of the reasons
Warren is so popular isn’t just that she has plans. It’s that unlike
her fellow candidates, she knows how to present
her policies in a simple way. And last night,
her plan for a wealth tax got the crowd going. It’s time for a wealth tax. That is a two-cent tax on fortunes over $50 million. Your first $50 million, don’t worry,
you’re in the clear. But for your 50 millionth
and first dollar, you got to pitch in two cents and two cents
for every dollar after that. Just two cents. (cheering and applause) (chanting):
Two cents! Two cents! Two… Yeah, not only
is that a great chant, it also sounds like the name of a much less successful
50 Cent, you know? Yeah, it’s just like… ♪ Two Cents, go, shorty,
it’s your birthday ♪ ♪ I couldn’t buy you anything
for your birthday ♪ ♪ Here’s a coupon
for a free hug. ♪ Now, while Elizabeth Warren
was taking over New York, Donald Trump
was doing his campaign rally in New Mexico,
a solidly blue state with a large
Hispanic population, which probably explains why,
uh, Donald tried to tailor his message
to the crowd. And I’m not gonna lie. It got
a little bit uncomfortable. Another great friend of mine. He happens to be Hispanic,
but I never quite figured it out because he looks more
like a WASP than I do. So I haven’t
figured that one out. But I’ll tell you what, there is nobody
that loves this country more or Hispanic more
than Steve Cortes. Steve. (cheering and applause) Thank you, Steve. Nobody loves the Hispanics more. Who do you like more,
the country or the Hispanics? He says the country.
I don’t know. I-I may have to go
for the Hispanics, to be honest with you. (audience groaning) What in brown Jesus’s name
was that? What do you like more,
the country or Hispanics? Those two things aren’t even
in the same category. “What do you like better,
Pepsi or Mongolia, huh?” It’s also a shitty question
because it implies that Hispanics aren’t a part
of the country, right? And-and what’s amazing
is that it was still somehow only the second
most offensive thing that Trump said in that clip because Trump also said
he was confused by his Hispanic friend
who looks too white? He’s like, “I don’t get it. “How come
you’re not wearing a sombrero “or dancing the salsa? You’re less Hispanic
than Sean Spicer.” And when Trump wasn’t busy
torturing Hispanic people with weird mind games, he tried to stay focused on going
after his Democratic rivals. But in the middle of his rant, a fly buzzed in front
of Trump’s face, and that totally threw
the president off. So I always say
“the Democrat Party.” But that’s their name,
the Democrat Party. Frankly,
they should probably change it, because it does– And then
I call ’em the Democratic Party. But the Democrat Party has never been farther outside
the mainstream. Every major… That’s a nasty fly. (laughter) I don’t like those suckers. I don’t know about you
in New Mexico, but I’m not into flies
or mosquitoes. (laughter) Yeah, Mr. President,
I’m pretty sure nobody is into flies
or mosquitoes. What?
What kind of a riff is that? “What about cancer?
Anybody like cancer? Yeah? “Yeah, what do you like better,
cancer or Hispanics? What do you like?” Now, after the fly was escorted
out of the arena, Trump managed to get around
to his policies, and his main pitch
is that he plans to move America forward
into the 1980s. Cars have so much junk
on them now. To save a tiny little… fraction of gasoline, they have so much junk that they’re less safe. So what I want to do
is the following. Under our rules and regulations, they could be
a little bit heavier. I mean, they make ’em now
like papier-mâché. Somebody touches ’em
and the entire car collapses. We will defeat the effort
to drive up the cost of houses, cars, health care, light bulbs. Right? They took away our light bulb. I want an incandescent light. I want to look better, okay? (laughter) Yep, that’s right. Trump wants to roll back
energy regulations instituted by Bush
and completed by Obama because he thinks he looks
better under old light bulbs. And if you ask me, there are
much easier ways to look better than rewriting
U.S. energy policy, you know? Maybe you could try–
I don’t know– uh, a normal haircut, you know? Or a suit that fits. Or just standing next
to Stephen Miller, you know? Uh… Yeah.
Maybe he’s born with it… ♪ Maybe he’s next to Steve. ♪
You never know. And, by the way, by the way,
new cars are meant to collapse in an accident,
right? You should know this. Because
the more impact the car absorbs, the less that’s transferred
to the passengers or the driver. It’s called a crumple–
I don’t even know why I’m explaining science
to a guy who stares at the sun during an eclipse.
This is a waste of time. Let’s move on. So Elizabeth Warren was talking about making
the super rich pay more. Two cents more.
Trump, at the same time, was bragging about how he helped
the mega rich keep their cash. We eliminated
the unfair estate tax -or death tax
-(cheering) so that you can now give
your farm or your ranch to your children. Now, if you don’t like
your children, don’t do it. I know a guy
who can’t stand his children. They’re horrible,
horrible human beings. They’re a little older now, but
they’re horrible human beings. Really, Donald? You “know a guy”
who hates his children? -(laughter, applause)
-Hmm? “You won’t believe
how horrible these kids are. “Let’s call them
Beric and John Dunior. “I hate them. Their sister is hot though.”

100 thoughts on “Warren and Trump’s Dueling Campaign Rallies | The Daily Show

  1. Well in reality it's not 2 cents she's misleading them to make it sound like a small amount if you make 100 million you will have to give the gvt 1million dollars just because you're successful

  2. Trump is such a petulant Siamese cat. So all we need is a fly in the room containing the nuclear football, and Trump will get distracted any time he goes for it. 😒

  3. So 2% tax on the first dollar and beyond after 50 mil? 2%… 2 cents per dollar,… so if I had 100 mil I had to pay 1 million dollar? Dude even if put that 99 mil it on slow investments or bank deposits I could recoup and still even make profit.

  4. iCan't with these stupid people; including the paid actors that stand behind him.
    How the fuck are you a poor ass person CHEERING that he got rid of the so-called "death tax"?!! It affects ONLY Estates in excess of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. Do ANY of these idiots have FIVE MILLION DOLLARS? Do their parents? I say NO.

    Orange Hitler actually Brags about giving his rich toadies money from the American taxpayer even as social security is being raped to pay for it, yet these dumb asses Cheer. GTFOH

  5. You must admit the old bulbs 💡 worked better and gave off a better light 💡 and if they failed just tap on them and no need to go out and get a bulb that minute

  6. I give credit to Warren, she’s less extreme than Bernie and more of a DNC favorite. She could overtake him and we’d still get our 50% loan forgiveness. BTW Trump just runs his mouth and talks and talks, there is no order or structure or sense to it, just him listening to his scratchy voice.

  7. It's half dollar, don't ever give that loser satisfaction of calling him after the name of the currency, it just soesn't work cause he's a loser.

  8. Does New Mexico even have mosquitoes? Shit's dry yo.

    Edit: You can lower the cost of cars by not fucking with steel & aluminum tariffs but whatever.

  9. The hispanics probably work for him and had to show up to keep their jobs, no hispanic in the right mind would support a clearly racist like Pumpkin Head Trump!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. You missed the article. My grandparents use the article all the time and it really makes it so much worse. The hispanics, the blacks, the Jews. See how "the" in front makes it that much more divisive.

  11. Does he realize Toyota Prius is 50 to 70 percent more fuel efficient then US made junk cars or I should say chines made and Mexico made cars since they imported the jobs to other countries thanks to government and taxes this guy doesn't understand with such a high pollution rate even Tesla that is 50 to 80 percent more efficient than gas cars it still not enough for clean environment States like California also New York with such high number of population in big cities ! He is out of his mind pushing corrupted oil companies program on table instead of bringing jobs back to US by tax cuts

  12. That girl on the bottom right of P45s rally, paid to be there…looking for cues to wave the board, visibly not buying any of the BS…

  13. That girl on the bottom right of P45s rally, paid to be there…looking for cues to wave the board, visibly not buying any of the BS…

  14. Trump is better than warren and than Tulsi. He hates regime change war. They are promising but he already done his party and reduce tension with the external world. Am from Tanzania neighbours of Kenya. The country of highest mountain in Africa your welcome.

  15. As a latina, I'm insulted that so many latinos support this "person". And yes, there are a lot. Most of them try to act as white as possible to "blend in", they hate other latinos and don't want any more coming into the US. It's a "now that I'm in, close the door" kind of situation. Disgusting.

  16. How Many Tongues Does President Donald Trump Has In His One Mouth? More Than One, Yes. I Believe He Has At Leat Three For His Calm Days. Therefore 21 Tongues.

  17. aa, ab, ad, ae, ag, ah, ai, al, am, an, ar, as, at, aw, ax, ay, ba, be, bi, bo, by, da, de, do, ed, ef, eh, el, em, en, er, es, et, ew, ex, fa, fe, gi, go, ha, he, hi, hm, ho, id, if, in, is, it, jo, ka, ki, la, li, lo, ma, me, mi, mm, mo, mu, my, na, ne, no, nu, od, oe, of, oh, oi, ok, om, on, op, or, os, ow, ox, oy, pa, pe, pi, po, qi, re, sh, si, so, ta, te, ti, to, uh, um, un, up, us, ut, we, wo, xi, xu, ya, ye, yo, za

  18. 4:18 The name is the "Democratic Party", you idiot. And you gave the whole game away a few weeks ago when you said you say "Democrat Party" only because "Democrat" ends with "rat".

  19. It SUCKED to have Trump in my town of Albuquerque! The BULLCRAP that spews from this guy’s mouth…I cant believe how these people can support him…streets and roads were closed for this jackoff also…

  20. …… What people do NOT understand is that 2 cents on the dollar is a SLAP ON THE WRIST THAT WILL EFFECTIVELY LET THESE GREEDY ASSHOLES CONTINUE!!!! SANDERS/GABBARD 2020 is our ONLY chance to turn this apocalyptic bus around from extinction… Warren is just a DESPERATE effort to NOT GET SANDERS. Corporations are scared SHITLESS of Sanders….. THINK ABOUT THAT!!! They are so scared of him they are throwing EVERY single thing they can at him and it is STILL not working.. Warren is just the new "alternative" to Sanders WINNING and actually DOING WHAT HE SAYS… Which NO ONE else will do except for Gabbard and I want her as VP anyway. Wake up folks…. Do NOT let these people FOOL YOU AGAIN!!!

  21. Trevo you didn't ask how she was going to pay for all her plans… Must be cause the establishment media like you know that shes really not going to implement most of her plans starting with m4All. Not one bad thing was said about her yet when you talk about benie you have not one good thing to say about him. We see right thru you Thats why we love the Sandman sanders cause his the real deal. the revolution dose not involve warren. BernieTulsi2020

  22. WOW look how many ignorant people actually believe Elizabeth WARMONGER WARren is a progressive…
    She won't fight for shit, she's against Medicare For All, she's taking dirty corporate PAC money(over $10million ALREADY in bribe money!!), WARren has voted in favor of increasing the military budget EVERY SINGLE TIME, she's helped fast track Trump's Republican judges, she threw Bernie under the bus to back Crooked holl Hillary Clinton in 2016, and now she's begging Crooked Hillary and the cronies at the DNC to help her rig this primary so she can split the vote in order to receive the super delegates in the 2nd round!!!
    Elizabeth WARMONGER WARren is a POS corporate establishment puppet who will fold to the Republicans EVERY SINGLE TIME if she gets elected… Don't be fooled by her lies, she stole ALL her plans/policies from Bernie Sanders, then she watered them all down to appease her Corporate masters… Bernie is OBVIOUSLY the TRUE PROGRESSIVE who will fight for us, as he has done for multiple decades!! WARren is an ex Republican who will turn her back on us as soon as she gets in office

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