Yo what’s good? This week we
maskin’ up with Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons Da year is 1985 and LL cool J ain’t
da only thing bout to blow up: Da beef between Russia and da US has gotten so tense dat nukes
might start flyin any second. But dem Ruskies gonna think twice befo’ they make a move,
cuz da US got a viagra-lookin’ super thug named Dr. Manhattan on their side who can
control thangs on goddamn MOLECULAR level, meanin he can be multiple places at once,
teleport, turn Washingtons in to Benjamims- this brutha can do almost anything!
Manhattan is one of a whole crew of badasses dat used to protect da city back when. Cept
these days, people don’t want nobody callin da shots but da po-lice, so all dem playas
runnin’ round in their undies gotta put their hustle to the side. But a stone cold
G named Rorschach don’t give a DAMN bout dat and still be rockin a mask to patrol da
mean streets. When Rorschach hear that somebody
tossed da Comedian, one of da OG superheros, out a damn window, he figger somebody might
be tryna ice old costumes one by one. So he hollas at all da other retired masks- the
gadget slangin Night Owl, da super sexy Silk Spectre who shacked up wit Doc Manhattan now,
and Ozymandias- the smartest, and RICHEST, homie in da world.
Papa Smurf Manhattan decide to go on a lame-ass talk show when some
dude start runnin his mouth sayin’ dat chillin wit his big blue ass causes cancer! Word?
Da news gets the Doc all riled up and he decide dat dealin wit these loud-ass piles o’ molecules
jus’ ain’t worth a sh** and bounces out to Mars.
Now dat Mr. Clean outta da picture, da Russians like “haaaell yeah” And
start flexin’. Lata’ an assassin try to kill Ozymandias, but he jus shakes dat hater
off. Rorschach gets played, whooped by the fuzz, and holed up in the big house. If it
wasn’t clear already, Rorschach was right: somebody IS tryna mess wit deez heros.
So Silk Spectre and Night Owl take a break from fu**ing, suit up, and bust Rorschach
outta jail. Later, Doc Manhattan scoops up Silk Spectre and takes her to Mars so they
can chop it up. Silky axe the Doc to come back to Earth and stop da world from ending,
but the Doc don’t really give two sh**s bout savin’ humanity cuz it ain’t make
no difference to da universe. But after Silk Spectre chews his ass out, the doc finally
snaps out of it, and decide he gonna return back to earth.
Eventually Rorshach and da Owl realize dat it might be Ozymandias who mastermindin’
all dis mess. As they swang over to his winter pad and say “yo Ozy, dafuq man?” Ozy like
yo- here’s the deal: Da whole world is rotten to the core, and gonna tear itself to sh**
unless somebody step up and do somethin’ bout it. I got a plan.
I’m gonna kill a sh** ton of people, blame it on a giant alien- squid dat
I pulled outta my ass, and then errybody will be on the same side. Naw mean?” They all
like “Yeaaahhhh…. fu** dat. We gonna stop you.” But Ozy like “too late it already
happened 35 minutes ago.” Oh sh**. And jus’ like brutha thought,
errybody put they difference aside and unite. Ozy like “I did it! Everlasting peace. How
you like me now son?!” But Manhattan jus’ like “Baby nothin’ lasts forever.”
Rorshach try to bounce and tattle on Ozymandias, but Doc Manhattan tell him
he best not cuz at this point, da truth can only hurt. Rorschach ain’t backin down so
the Doc just turns his ass in to mush. One thing Ozymandias didn’t plan on
though, was at Rorscach got his whole scheme written down in a journal, which now chillin
at the office of a journalist. Does the world learn dat they were saved by a lie? Or does
Ozzie’s new world order keep on truckin? Good question, yo… This sh** right here is so dank dat it made
it into Time Magazine’s top 100 novels eva’ written. And it sho as hell deserve it- cuz
Watchmen is complex as hell. First off, Dis graphic novel don’t
read like most. We always trippin’ back and forth
through time, switchin’ perspectives, and readin parts of made up books, letters, and
notes at da end of erry chapter. To readers used to cruisin’ through stories held together
by cause and effect, Watchmen was a good ol fashioned mind-fu**. Not only do dis messy
story-tellin represent da clusterfu** of a world dis book take place in, and our own,
but it also mirror da way Doc Manhattan see time: Throughout dis book people geekin
out tryna say Doc Manhattan’s existence gone and changed da whole world fo’eva,
cuz now Gods walkin’ amongst regular erryday hoods. But da crazy thing is dat it ain’t
somebody wit super powers dat come to define da world. Naw baby, the fight for humanity’s
soul is between two superhumans, wit’ emphasis on da “human” part: Ozymandias and Rorschach.
Ozymandias massacred half of New York city fo the GREATER good, but Rorsach
jus’ say you shouldn’t kill innocent people STRAIGHT UP and even give his life tryin to
spread the truth. Do the ends justify the means? What’s mo important? The saving lie?
Or the Truth? To Rorschach, errything is black
and white- jus’ like his mask. No grey. Like he say: some bruthas is good, some bruthas
is bad, and the bad ones gonna get what’s comin to em.
Also, His mask always changin shapes like a true blue rorschach test and
symbolize da way he see da world: Ozymandias’s name come from Rameses
II, da pharoah of Egypt who was runnin’ da game durin’ da 13th century BC. Percy
Shelley wrote a dope poem bout dat hustla, and Watchemen’s 11th chapter even ends wit
a quote from it: So yeah, on one level it’s just
Ozymandias thinkin he high balla’- dude’s whack-ass plan to save humanity from itself,
and him actually pullin it off, make him look like he deserve mo’ props than anybody else.
But if you take a closer peep at Shelley’s poem, you’ll see it ain’t jus bout talkin
up da ultimate badass- it showin dat even though it seems like Rameses II got da world
sold up, ain’t nobody legit enough to dodge the all destructive power of time. It don’t matter how legit you get
in life- you and what you leave behind ain’t gonna be around forever. Doc Manhattan even
drop dat same truth: So is it worth holdin back da
horrible truth fo’ even a little bit of peace? Or is da truth mo’ important? A question
like dat is maybe jus’ too crazy to answer. Maybe when we faced with horrors like
dat, we only got one option: try to put a smile on dat face, and laugh about it. Yo if you liked philosophizin’ bout
truth and da greater good, take a couple mo’ minutes and check out my eps on The Brothers
Karamazov and The Grand Inquisitor. I promise, it’s all some real tight sh**. Thanks fo’
checkin me out. I’ll see y’all next time. Peace.