Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

We Don’t Need Directions from Dad Anymore


(rhythmic knocking) (chattering in background) – Wanted to see me? – Uh, yes. Shut the door, have a seat. – Alright. (door closes) – Look. (grunting) There’s no easy way to say this. We will no longer need you, or any dads, for navigation or directions. (somber piano music) – (laughs) Okay, that’s crazy. Dads are the best source
for driving directions. You can’t have a navigation
app without dads. – Yeah, well, to be frank, we’ve kinda been ignoring you for a while. Uh, the app works just
fine without your input. – But… I’m a dad, giving directions is what I do. I mean, I could tell you how
to get anywhere you wanna go. And a bunch of places you don’t. Like the outlet stores. – All of the directions on the Turnz app will now be fully automated. It’s just better. You get real-time traffic data, automatic road closure updates. – Are you kidding me? I spent years perfecting my craft. I mean, you can’t tell me you think a machine
could do better than me. – Yes. – Eh, you can’t trust those things. – Sure you can. Look, I’ll plug in directions to, uh, Thresher’s Creek. I’ll just, um–
– Oh, I can tell you how to get to Thresher’s Creek. – Really not necessary,
I’ve got it right– – Just head over to the Tastee Freez. From there, you get
– Uh, it’s done. – onto Raymaker Avenue. Bill’s probably gonna be
outside mowing the lawn. – Yeah, I have the directions.
– You give him a quick wave, and you keep on goin’. – I don’t need you to be
– Now there are gonna be – Talking, ’cause I have the
– Four barns that you’re – Directions, now.
– Gonna pass. – Three of ’em are red
– Yes, you could – And one of ’em is also red. After that, there’s gonna be
– Stop anytime you’re ready. – A slaughter house,
I want you to pass it. – Thank you.
– You’re gonna wanna stop, but I want you to pass it, even though there’s a lot to see there. Trust me, we’ll go there sometime. Go ahead, take two more rights, head back five miles the way you came, boom, you’re right there. You get all that? – That takes ten minutes
longer than the app says. (somber piano music) – Ah, you can’t trust
those things (scoffs). – You have ’til the end of the day. – You’re gonna stop getting directions from all those dads out there. Those dads know these roads
like the back of their hands! I mean, listen to ’em. (door opens)
(chattering in the background) (dad gives directions) Old Mill Road, that’s what you’re looking for, right? Now there’s a lot of
logging trucks on that road. Big ol’ trucks with big ol’
trees that look like they’re gonna fall on your car, that’s
the road you wanna take. (background chatter continues)
– Look, it’s not personal, it’s progress. These things have maps. – Maps? Oh (door closes) okay, we’re talkin’ about maps, alright. – I didn’t… – You know what, I’ll show you a map. There, this is a map. I drew this myself! – What are all these
little marks all over it? – Those are some stops we
have to make along the way. I got a couple errands to run. – Why does it take me like
20 miles outta my way? – There’s a gas station out there, it’s always one cent cheaper. – Okay, the app says there’s
cheap gas one mile from here. – Eh, you can’t trust those things. – Stop saying that. – Alright! Alright, fine, your machine can
do all kinds of cool things. But does it have a heart?
(inspiring music plays) Can it, can it point to all
the antique cars on the road and say, “Wow, look at that one.” Can it tell you what it thinks
the city should do to roads to make the traffic flow better? Can it read the signs
on the side of the road and offer no further
opinion, or information because it’s desperate
to fill the silence, but doesn’t know what to say? Can your machine do those things? – No. It can’t. – Yeah, I didn’t think so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a flight that leaves tomorrow, so I have to get to the airport now.

100 thoughts on “We Don’t Need Directions from Dad Anymore

  1. The phone map tells you to turn and when. But it leaves you lost. Where are you? Where the phone said. How did you get there? Followed instructions. Can you get back? With the phone. Point to your house. Hu? >:/

  2. Ha! Joke's on him. He couldn't even follow his own directions when he went out for cigarettes 20 years ago. He never made it back. Silly dad :')

  3. I don't care that people are calling this too vanilla, this is brilliant !!!(especially the part about Bill being outside mowing the lawn as part of the directions… just brilliant) bring more like this (in poor imitation of Thor's voice)

  4. Saw this happen when adam conover came on the crew, but CH is sucking again thx. Not sure who's fault it is this time, but see you guys in 3 years!

  5. "I have a flight that leaves tomorrow, so I have to get to the airport now."
    Holy shit, too real, my dad did this yesterday. I was like, "Dad, the flight boards at 5:15, we should probably get there about 3:00," and he was like, "No, we should aim to be there by 12, you never know how long it will take to get through security!"
    It took us ten minutes to get through security. We sat in the terminal for five hours. It was great.

  6. Once we were sightseeing and some people came up and asked for directions. My dad immediatly started giving instructions and off they went. We were like ‘You have been here before? You know this place well?’ And he said no, he just told them some random stuff
    He gave them wrong directions with such confidence, he fooled everyone

  7. my dad knows all the backroads where it's encouraged to go 20 miles over the speed limit. i can make any 20 min drive in 10

  8. Everytime I plug in directions and ignore verbal ones always ends up also being the time the navigation app tries to take me on roads that AREN'T REAL. You really can't trust those things 😅😅

  9. This is actually very mich irrelevant in my area, google maps is often very very very wrong where i am and people have to stop for directions from actual people like its still the early 90s or before

  10. Oh my god this is my dad. He lives 5 hours from our state capital. He is CONVINCED that this one route is faster because it skips traffic in some other town. It’s an hour slower. He is CON VINCED

  11. Maybe just "Boomer Directions" in general. I distinctly remember a conversation with my mother, who was trying to give me landmark-based directions to my cousin's house.

    "It's okay, Mom just give me the stre– OK, what's the street name? Uh-huh… All I really need is the actual address. Yup. Uh-huh… uh-huh… and what's the name of the street? Great, thanks." Google took care of the rest.

  12. To be fair, I try to limit my reliance on technology. Shifting our daily cognitive burdens to technology can be crippling in the long run.

  13. This just made me sad. Until the "I have a flight that leaves tomorrow, so I have to get to the airport now." bit- that's fuckin hilarious

  14. I for one also hate it when my dad keeps giving me directions when me and my gf have sex. Sometimes he even insists on a personal demonstration and mumbles "son, now that's how you get a woman pregnant". Okay dad, fine, maybe wipe my ass for me next time or something.

  15. Above Average did a Google Dad Directions skit a few years ago which was a lot funnier and more original. Love Grant and dad but c’mon y’all

  16. Tbh, if my dad was still alive, I'd trust him over my GPS. But then, he was a walking Thomas Guide because of his job, so… my experience probably isn't standard.

  17. I thought this was going to be about how we’re grown up and don’t need our dads to help us, then I thought that it was about how people listen to dads more than moms and other people, and now It just doesn’t make sense

  18. "can it point to antique cars and say, 'wow look at that one'?"
    " I mean, it can't point itself, but Google lens-"
    " can it tell you what a city should do to roads to make the traffic flow better?"
    " cities all over the world are increasingly using deep learning neural networks to analyze and reduce traffic congestion."

    Oh…

  19. “I got the link you sent but how do I open it on the stupid phone?”—Every Day Everywhere upon receiving a text of this video.
    Also, I want a Grant-navigation app! 😀

  20. The title contained "dad" and the thumbnail had Grant in it. I was afraid this was gonna be some kinky weird video.

  21. Lmao this is a conversation my dad and I would have but instead of Turnz, it's mental health, and instead of going to the airport, he just tells me that I'm what's wrong with this family.

  22. I'm siding with the dad on "You can't trust those things." At least twice Google has decided that I would prefer a poorly maintained gravel back road instead of the highway.

  23. OMFG I live on the Kansas side of Kansas City and any time we drive to Missouri, my dad has to stop to buy slightly cheaper gas there!

  24. Is this a sketch about apps that give directions like dads, or just lots of actual dads that are walking around waiting to give people directions cuz I haven’t experienced either of those things.

  25. I'm 25, I have the entire knowledge on the internet at my fingertips. However if I need help on something or advice, will always call my dad.

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