(rhythmic knocking) (chattering in background) – Wanted to see me? – Uh, yes. Shut the door, have a seat. – Alright. (door closes) – Look. (grunting) There’s no easy way to say this. We will no longer need you, or any dads, for navigation or directions. (somber piano music) – (laughs) Okay, that’s crazy. Dads are the best source
for driving directions. You can’t have a navigation
app without dads. – Yeah, well, to be frank, we’ve kinda been ignoring you for a while. Uh, the app works just
fine without your input. – But… I’m a dad, giving directions is what I do. I mean, I could tell you how
to get anywhere you wanna go. And a bunch of places you don’t. Like the outlet stores. – All of the directions on the Turnz app will now be fully automated. It’s just better. You get real-time traffic data, automatic road closure updates. – Are you kidding me? I spent years perfecting my craft. I mean, you can’t tell me you think a machine
could do better than me. – Yes. – Eh, you can’t trust those things. – Sure you can. Look, I’ll plug in directions to, uh, Thresher’s Creek. I’ll just, um–
– Oh, I can tell you how to get to Thresher’s Creek. – Really not necessary,
I’ve got it right– – Just head over to the Tastee Freez. From there, you get
– Uh, it’s done. – onto Raymaker Avenue. Bill’s probably gonna be
outside mowing the lawn. – Yeah, I have the directions.
– You give him a quick wave, and you keep on goin’. – I don’t need you to be
– Now there are gonna be – Talking, ’cause I have the
– Four barns that you’re – Directions, now.
– Gonna pass. – Three of ’em are red
– Yes, you could – And one of ’em is also red. After that, there’s gonna be
– Stop anytime you’re ready. – A slaughter house,
I want you to pass it. – Thank you.
– You’re gonna wanna stop, but I want you to pass it, even though there’s a lot to see there. Trust me, we’ll go there sometime. Go ahead, take two more rights, head back five miles the way you came, boom, you’re right there. You get all that? – That takes ten minutes
longer than the app says. (somber piano music) – Ah, you can’t trust
those things (scoffs). – You have ’til the end of the day. – You’re gonna stop getting directions from all those dads out there. Those dads know these roads
like the back of their hands! I mean, listen to ’em. (door opens)
(chattering in the background) (dad gives directions) Old Mill Road, that’s what you’re looking for, right? Now there’s a lot of
logging trucks on that road. Big ol’ trucks with big ol’
trees that look like they’re gonna fall on your car, that’s
the road you wanna take. (background chatter continues)
– Look, it’s not personal, it’s progress. These things have maps. – Maps? Oh (door closes) okay, we’re talkin’ about maps, alright. – I didn’t… – You know what, I’ll show you a map. There, this is a map. I drew this myself! – What are all these
little marks all over it? – Those are some stops we
have to make along the way. I got a couple errands to run. – Why does it take me like
20 miles outta my way? – There’s a gas station out there, it’s always one cent cheaper. – Okay, the app says there’s
cheap gas one mile from here. – Eh, you can’t trust those things. – Stop saying that. – Alright! Alright, fine, your machine can
do all kinds of cool things. But does it have a heart?
(inspiring music plays) Can it, can it point to all
the antique cars on the road and say, “Wow, look at that one.” Can it tell you what it thinks
the city should do to roads to make the traffic flow better? Can it read the signs
on the side of the road and offer no further
opinion, or information because it’s desperate
to fill the silence, but doesn’t know what to say? Can your machine do those things? – No. It can’t. – Yeah, I didn’t think so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a flight that leaves tomorrow, so I have to get to the airport now.